散文佳作108篇 第83期:My Average Uncle 艾默大叔——一個(gè)普普通通的人

艾默大叔——一個(gè)普普通通的人

Robert P. Tristram Coffin

羅伯特·P.T.科芬

He stood out splendidly above all my uncles because he did not stand out at all. That was hisdistinction. He was the averagest man I ever knew.

在我眾多的叔叔大爺中，他是最突出的一個(gè)，原因就在于他從不突出自己。這就是他與眾不同之處。他是我見(jiàn)過(guò)的最普通的人。

You would never pick him out in a crowd. He became just another man the minute he was inone. So many more pounds of man. Good solid pounds,but just pounds. You would neverremember his hair or his chin, or the shape of his ears. If he said something, you would agreewith it, and, an hour later, you would be sure you had said it yourself.

他在人群里一點(diǎn)也不顯眼。他一混人人海就和周?chē)娜藳](méi)什么兩樣了，他長(zhǎng)得敦敦實(shí)實(shí)，體重超過(guò)常人許多磅，但也僅此而已。你永遠(yuǎn)也想不起他頭發(fā)是什么顏色，他的下巴、耳朵是什么樣子。如果他說(shuō)些什么，你會(huì)表示同意，過(guò)一個(gè)小時(shí)，你會(huì)覺(jué)得這話就是你自己說(shuō)的。

Sometimes I think men like that get along about the best . They are the easiest on theirhouses, their wives, and their children. They are easiest on the world. They slide along withouthaving to do anything about it as small boys do on their breeches after they have slid on themenough to wear them down smooth. The world is all so much pine needles under them.

有時(shí)我想，正是這種人才活得輕松自在。他們對(duì)住房、對(duì)妻子、對(duì)兒女總是那么寬宏大量，從不挑剔。他們是世界上最寬容的人。他們總是那么順其自然地活著，從不為任何事情操心，就像小孩子坐滑梯把褲襠磨破了也不在乎。這個(gè)世界就像鋪在身子底下的松針一樣，柔軟舒適。

Uncle Amos was easy on his wives and children. He had three of them, in all. Wives, I mean. Inever did get the count of his children straight, there were too many assortments of them.Three wives. It seemed surprising to me at the time. With all the trouble I had, myself, havingto stand on my head and work my legs, or bung stones at cherrybirds, to keep the attention ofjust one girl for a month. I often wondered how Uncle Amos, who never stood on his head orwhittled out even a butterpat, could attract so many women as he did. Wlth hair a little thin onhis head, and legs that could not possibly do more than three and a half miles an hour on theroad, there he was with three families behind him. Of course, he had the families spaced. Thewives of Uncle Amos did not come all at once. They were drawn out . One batch of children grewpretty well up by the time the next batch hove insight, waddling and falling on thek faces-tosave their hands-as waddling children do.

艾默大叔對(duì)妻子兒女和和氣氣。他總共有三個(gè)。我是說(shuō)他有三個(gè)妻子。我從來(lái)數(shù)不準(zhǔn)他到底有多少孩子，他們太多了。而且各種各樣。居然有三個(gè)妻子。那時(shí)我覺(jué)得這太不可思議了。因?yàn)槲以谶@方面吃過(guò)不少苦頭。我曾經(jīng)使出全身本領(lǐng)：拿大頂、兔子蹦、投石打鳥(niǎo)，好不容易才使一個(gè)女孩注意我一個(gè)月。我真不明白，艾默大叔從不拿大頂，甚至連一個(gè)黃油球也削不出來(lái)，居然能吸引那么多女人。他頭發(fā)有點(diǎn)稀疏，兩條腿一小時(shí)走不了十里半路，就這樣一個(gè)人，一生居然有過(guò)三撥家小。當(dāng)然啦，艾默大叔三房妻子之間都隔著一段時(shí)間，不是同時(shí)娶來(lái)的，而是一個(gè)接著一個(gè)。一撥孩子已經(jīng)長(zhǎng)大，另一撥才呱呱落地。他們蹣跚地走路，常常臉朝下跌倒在地，也不知用手去撐——小孩子學(xué)走路都是這樣。

I knew my Bible, especially the marital parts, in which I took deep interest. I had read the Biblethrough many times under the eye of one particular aunt. I knew a lot about matrimony fromthat. But Uncle Amos had me puzzled. He had broken no commandments. All his marriageswere open and aboveboard. He wasn't like the patriarchs who didn't always wait for one wifeto go before another came. Yet Uncle Amos's status and his children's status were rathercomplicated.

我對(duì)圣經(jīng)很熟，對(duì)有關(guān)婚娶的章節(jié)尤感興趣。在一位愛(ài)挑剔的姑媽監(jiān)督之下曾多次誦讀圣經(jīng)，從中學(xué)到許多有關(guān)婚姻的清規(guī)戒律。但艾默大叔卻令我困惑。他沒(méi)有觸犯任何一條戒規(guī)，每次結(jié)婚都是公開(kāi)的，光明正大的，不像那些道貌岸然的人，妻子還好好的，就又勾搭上了別的女人。然而艾默大叔的情況和他的孩子們的情況卻頗為復(fù)雜。

The women must have been drawn to him because he was so muchlike whatan average fairhusband would seem to a woman to be.

女人迷戀他，一定是因?yàn)樵谒齻兊男哪恐兴纸咏粋€(gè)普通模范丈夫的形象。

This man made no flourishes to attract anybody. He never drove a fast horse. He never woretrousers with checks any larger than an inch square-which,for the time, was conservative. Hishouse never got afire and burned downjust after the fire insurance had run out. Not one of hisboys and girls got drowned or run over by the steamcars. The few that died growing died ofdiphtheria or scarlet fever, which were what children died of then, the usual ways.

他這個(gè)人從不嘩眾取寵。他沒(méi)騎過(guò)快馬，褲子上的方格從不超過(guò)一英寸——這在當(dāng)時(shí)已是相當(dāng)保守的了。他的房手也從未在火災(zāi)保險(xiǎn)剛過(guò)期就失火燒塌過(guò)。他的眾多子女中也沒(méi)有一個(gè)落水溺死或死于車(chē)禍的。幾個(gè)夭折的，不是死于白喉就是死于猩紅熱，那時(shí)許多孩子都得這種病死的，十分常見(jiàn)。

Uncle Amos never had a fight.

艾默大叔從未打過(guò)架。

Uncle Amos never lost a pocket-book. At least not one with much money in it.

艾默大叔從未丟過(guò)錢(qián)包，至少?zèng)]丟過(guò)里面裝有很多錢(qián)的錢(qián)包。

Uncle Amos never went even as far as Boston.

艾默大叔甚至連波士頓那么遠(yuǎn)的地方都沒(méi)去過(guò)。

But there he was, never making much money, but with all the comforts of home around him,eating his stewed eels, sitting in his galluses out in the orchard in the cool of the evening, witha plump baby to climb up in his lap,whenever he felt like having a baby on his lap and had hisold trousers on and didn't care much what happened to him. There he was, shingling his houseonly when it got to leaking so it put the kitchen fire out. Drinking a little ale now and then,when he came by it easy. No big hayfields to worryabout. No wife that craved more than onenew dress a year, and that one she generally ran up herself on her sewing machine. One bestpair of trousers to his name, which the moths got into, but not so deep but what they couldbe healed up with a needle. Not many books to excite him and keep him awake nights, or putideas into his head and make him uneasy. No itch ever spreading out upon him to go out andtake the world by its horns .There he was, in clover!

然而就是這樣一個(gè)人，從未掙過(guò)大錢(qián)，卻盡情享受著家的舒適溫馨，吃著燉鰻魚(yú)，穿著背帶褲，涼爽的黃昏，坐在果園里。想抱孩子時(shí)，便有個(gè)胖娃娃爬到膝頭上來(lái)，穿的是舊褲子，所以不怕孩子糟蹋。他就是這樣一個(gè)人，屋頂漏雨，廚房里的火都快澆滅了他才去修。要是啤酒來(lái)得容易，偶爾也喝上一杯。沒(méi)有大塊干草場(chǎng)要他操心。妻子也從不吵著一年要兩件新衣服，就是那一件，還是她親自動(dòng)手，用縫紉機(jī)做的。在他的名下只有一條像樣的褲子，還讓蛀蟲(chóng)蛀了，但并不嚴(yán)重，三針兩線就可補(bǔ)好。沒(méi)有幾本書(shū)使他激動(dòng)不已，徹夜難眠，或是把各種思想塞進(jìn)他的腦袋里，使他坐立不安。沒(méi)有難以抑制的渴望在內(nèi)心泛濫，使他離開(kāi)家門(mén)去闖世界。他就是這樣一個(gè)人，日子過(guò)得舒舒服服，，安安逸逸!

Amos was a Republican. But then, most everybody around was. It was an average condition.Uncle Amos didn't have much to do except carry a torchlight when the Republican Presidentsgot elected, as they did regularly. And if Uncle Amos got grease on him, it never was very muchgrease, and his current wife took it out of him with her hot iron. Politics passed him by.Greatevents passed him by. And big taxes.

艾默是共和黨人，不過(guò)那時(shí)周?chē)娜?，哪個(gè)不是?當(dāng)時(shí)的情形就是這樣。艾默大叔倒也沒(méi)干過(guò)什么，不過(guò)是在共和黨人當(dāng)選總統(tǒng)時(shí)，舉舉火把而已(這是他們的慣例)。如果他衣服沾上了油脂，也總是不太嚴(yán)重，他當(dāng)時(shí)的妻子會(huì)用熱熨斗幫他去掉。政治和他不沾邊，大事沒(méi)他的份兒，巨額稅款也輪不到他的頭上。

But we nephews did not pass him by. We were strangely drawn to him. Especially when some ofour specialist uncles wore us down with their crankiness and difference. I spent some of thequietest Sundays of my life in Uncle Amos's yard, lying under apple trees and listening to beesand not listeningto Uncle Amos who was bumbling away at something he did not expect me tolisten to at all.And caterpillars came suddenly down on fine wires shining like gold, and hit UncleAmos on his bald spot, and he brushed them off and went on bumbling. The heat was aburden, and the apple blossoms fell to pieces and drifted down on me, and I could see the roofof the world over the black twigs they came from. These were my solidest hours of pure being. Idid not have to do anything to live up to this quiet, friendly man. He did not expect me to standon my head and show off, or go after his pipe, or keep the flies from lighting on his bald spot.And he always had lemon drops somewhere deep in his roomy pockets? fore or aft, and he likedto give them to me.

但我們這些侄子們卻沒(méi)有忽略他，反而被他緊緊地吸引住，特別是在我們那些當(dāng)專(zhuān)家的叔叔們用他們的古怪脾氣和意見(jiàn)分歧搞得我們不耐煩的時(shí)候。我的一生中，有許多寧?kù)o的星期天都是在艾默大叔的果園里度過(guò)的。躺在蘋(píng)果樹(shù)下，耳邊響著蜜蜂的嗡嗡聲，無(wú)須用心去聽(tīng)艾默大叔永無(wú)休止的嘮叨。他也完全沒(méi)有要我聽(tīng)的意思。毛毛蟲(chóng)拖著金光閃閃的細(xì)絲掉下來(lái)，打在艾默大叔的禿頂上。他揮揮手把蟲(chóng)子彈掉，又繼續(xù)嘮叨下去。暑熱難當(dāng)，蘋(píng)果花紛紛揚(yáng)揚(yáng)落在我的身上花兒落了，透過(guò)黑乎乎的枝條可以看見(jiàn)高懸的蒼穹。這是我生活中最充實(shí)的時(shí)刻，我無(wú)須著意做什么來(lái)取悅這位安詳?shù)睦先?。他也不指望我拿大頂炫耀宜己，或跑腿為他取煙斗，或?yàn)樗s走禿頂上的蒼蠅。他的寬大的前后農(nóng)袋里總是裝著檸檬糖，而且十分樂(lè)意送給我吃。

The only trouble Uncle Amos had in his life was after he had got through with it. When theycame to bury him, they could not fix it so he could lie next to all his three women. He had likedthem all equally well. But there was not enough of Uncle Amos to go round. So they put him onthe end of the row.

艾默大叔一生中遇到的唯一麻煩是在他走完了生命的旅途之后。為他下葬時(shí)人們?cè)趺匆蚕氩怀鲛k法把他同時(shí)和三個(gè)女人并排埋在一起。生前這三個(gè)女人他都愛(ài)，而艾默大叔卻只有一個(gè)，沒(méi)法平均分給三個(gè)女人，只好把他埋在那一排墳的最后。

Uncle Amos did not mind, I am sure. I am sure he sleeps average well.

一我相信艾默大叔是不會(huì)介意的，我也相信他會(huì)和平時(shí)睡得同樣的香甜。