散文佳作108篇 第84期:My Father's Music 我父親的音樂

我父親的音樂

Wayne Kalyn

韋恩·卡林

I remember the day Dad first lugged the heavy accordion up our front stoop,taxing his smallframe. He gathered my mother and me in the living room and opened the case as if it were atreasure chest. "Here it is,"he said. "Once you learn to play, it'll stay with you for life."

我還記得那天，爸爸豁出瘦小的身軀，第一次把那沉甸甸的手風琴拖上我們家的門廊。他把媽姆和我召到客廳，打開箱子，好像那是個百寶箱似的.“給，”。他說，“你一學會拉它，它就跟你終身做伴。”

If my thin smile didn't match his full-fledged grin, it was because I had prayed for a guitar or apiano. It was 1960, and I was glued to my AM radio,listening to Del Shannon and ChubbyChecker. Accordions were nowhere in my hit parade. As Ilooked at the shiny white keys andcream-colored bellows, I could already hear my friends' squeeze box jokes.

我淡淡一笑，滿不像他那么喜笑顏開，可那是因為裁一直巴望著有一把吉他，或一架鋼琴。當時是1960年，我迷上了在調幅廣播里收聽戴爾·香農和查比·切克的音樂。手風琴在我的流行曲目里根本排不上號?？粗前谆位蔚那冁I和奶油色的風箱，我都可以聽到伙伴們嘲弄這玩意兒的聲音。

For the next two weeks, the accordion was stored in the hall closet. Then one evening Dadannounced that I would start lessons the following week. In disbelief I shot my eyes towardMom for support. The firm set of her jaw told me I was out of luck.

后來的兩個禮拜，手風琴一直擱在門廳的壁櫥里。有天晚上，爸爸宣布，’下周起我就開始上手風琴課。狐疑中我直向母親遞眼色，求她幫忙?？伤o閉著嘴，就是說我這次倒了霉了。

Spending $300 for an accordion and $5 per lesson was out of character for my father. He waspractical always-something he learned growing up on a Pennsylvania farm. Clothes, heat andsometimes even food were scarce.

花300元買架手風琴，每上一課還得交五元，這可不合我父親的性格。他向來都很講究實際——這是他自小在賓夕法尼亞州的農場學來的。當時穿的，取暖的，有時候連吃的都很少。

Before I was born, he and my mother moved into her parents' two-story home in Jersey City,N.J. I grew up there on the second floor; my grandparents lived downstairs. Each weekday Dadmade the three-hour commute to and from Long Island, where he was a supervisor in acomparty that serviced jet engines. Weekends, he tinkered in the cellar, turning scraps ofplywood into a utility cabinet or fixing a broken toy with spare parts. Quiet andshy, he wasnever more comfortable than when at his workbench.

我出生前，父母搬進了新澤西州澤西城外公外婆家一樓一底的房子。我就是在那兒的樓上長大的，外公他們住樓下。爸爸每天去長島上班來回要坐三個小時的車。他在那兒的一家飛機發(fā)動機維修公司做監(jiān)督，周末他就在地窖里東修西補，不是把零星的膠合板拼湊成多用柜，就是找些個零部件修理破玩具。他生性沉靜靦腆，只有坐在工作凳上時他才最為自在。

Only music carried Dad away from his world of tools and projects. On a Sunday drive, he turnedthe radio on immediately. At red lights, I'd notice his foot tapping in time. He seemed to hangon every note.

只有音樂可以使爸爸陶醉，忘卻他那個近視工具和活計的天地。星期天只要一開車，他便打開收音機。遇見紅燈，就見他的腳及時地輕輕打起拍子。他好像不放過每一個音符。

Still, I wasn't prepared when, rummaging in a closet, I found a case that looked to me like a tinyguitar's. Opening it, I saw the polished glow of a beautiffil violin. "It's your father's," Mom said. "His parents bought it for him. I guess he got too busy on the farm to ever learn to play it." Itried to imagine Dad's rough hands on this delicate instrument-and couldn't. .

然而，我還是沒有料到，又一次翻一個壁櫥，竟發(fā)現一只盒子，我看像個小吉他盒。打開一看，卻是把漂亮的小提琴，光滑锃亮的。“那是你父親的，”媽媽說，“他父母給他買的。怕是農場上太忙了吧，他壓根兒就沒顧上學。”我盡量想象爸爸那雙粗手在擺弄這把精巧的小提琴——可就是想象不出來。

Shortly after, my lessons began with Mr. Zelli at the Allegro Accordion School tucked betweenan old movie theater and a pizza parlor. On my first day, with straps straining my shoulder, Ifelt clumsy in every way. "How did he do?" my father asked when it was over. "Fine for the firstlesson,"said Mr.ZeUi. Dad glowed with hope.

不久，我在手風琴速成學校跟澤里先生上起課來了，那個學校夾在一家舊電影院和一家餡餅店之間。第一天，我肩上勒緊了兩條皮帶，怎么都覺得別扭。“他怎么樣?”過后父親問老師。“第一課嘛，還可以。”澤里先生說。爸爸看有希望，神采奕奕。

I was ordered to practice half an hour every day, and every day I tried to get out of it. Myfuture seemed to be outside playing ball, not in the house mastering songs I would soonforget, but my parents hounded me to practice.

按規(guī)定我每天的練半小時的琴，而我每天都沒法躲過去。我看我的前途是在戶外打球，不是呆在屋里練很快就會遺忘的曲子，可父母逼著我練。

Gradually, to my surprise, I was able to string notes together and coordinate my hands toplay simple songs. Often, after supper, my father would requesta tune or two. As he sat in hiseasy chair, I would fumble through "Lady of Spain" and "Beer Barrel Polka."

想不到我漸漸可以把各個音符串起來，兩手配合著拉起簡單的歌曲了。晚飯后，父親常常要我拉上一兩段曲子。他坐在安樂椅里，我就笨手笨腳地拉完《西班牙女郎》和《啤酒桶波爾卡》

"Very nice, better than last week," he'd say. Then I would segue into a med-ley of his favorites, "Red River Valley" and "Home on the Range," and he would drift off to sleep, the newspaperfolded on his lap. I took it as a compliment that he could relax under the spell of my playing.

“很好，比上星期強。”他會說。于是我一口氣拉下去，把他最喜歡的歌曲《紅河谷》和《家在牧場》混在一起，于是他不知不覺地睡去，報紙還攤在膝上。他能在我的演奏感召之下，也輕松一下算是對我的贊賞吧。

One July evening I was giving an almost flawless rendition of "Come Back to Sorrento,"and myparents called me to an open window. An elderly neighbor, rarely seen outside her house, wasleaning against our car humming dreamily to the tune. When I finished, she smiled broadly andcalled out, "I remember that song as a child in Italy. Beautiful, just beautiful."

有年七月的一天傍晚，我正在拉《重歸蘇連托》，幾乎是無懈可擊，父母把我叫到一扇窗口。一個上了年紀的鄰居，很少見她出門，這時正依在我家車旁，恍恍惚惚地跟著曲子哼著。我拉完了，她笑瞇瞇地喊道：“我小時候在意大利就記得這首歌。好聽，真好聽。”

Throughout the summer, Mr. Zelli's lessons grew more difficult. It took me a week and a half tomaster them now. All the while I could hear my buddies outside playing heated games ofstickball. I'd also hear an occasional taunt: "Hey, where's your monkey and cup?

整個夏天，澤里先生的課越上越難?，F在要花一個半星期才能學會。我一邊學琴一邊可以聽到伙伴們在外面玩棍球玩得好熱鬧，不時還聽到句把損人的話：“喂!你那猴兒罐兒呢?”

Such humiliation paled, though, beside the impending fall recital, I would have to play a soloon a local movie theater's stage. I wanted to skip the whole thing. Emotions boiled over in thecar one Sunday afternoon.

不過，眼看秋季演奏會就要到來，這么糟踐人也就不算個事了。強得耷本地一家電影院上臺獨奏。我想賴掉這差事。個星期天下午在車上，我們都動了感情，都發(fā)火了。

"I don't want to play a solo," I said.

我不想獨奏。”我說。

"You have to," replied my father.

你就得獨奏。”父親答道。

"Why?" I shouted. "Because you didn't get to play your violin when you were a kid? Whyshould I have to play this stupid instrument when you never had to play yours7"Dad pulled thecar over and pointed at me.

“為啥?”我吼道，“就因為你小時候沒能拉成小提琴?你不拉就行我干嗎就非得拉這笨乎乎的玩意兒?爸爸剎住車，面對著我。

"Because you can bring people joy. You can touch their hearts. That's a gift I won't let youthrow away." He added softly, "Someday you'll have chance I never had: you'll play beautifulmusic for your family. And you understand why you've worked so hard."

“就因為你可以給別人帶來歡樂。你可以打動他們的心。，那是給人的一份禮物，我不許你白扔了。”他又輕聲說，“總有一天你會有我從來沒有的機會：你會給你的妻子兒女演奏美麗動聽的音樂。那時候你就會明白你干嗎要這么苦練了。”

I was speechless. I had rarely heard Dad speak with such feeling about anything, much less theaccordion. From then on, I practiced without parents' making me.

我無言以對。我很少聽到父親說話這么動情，更何況是說的手風琴。從此我練琴不用父母逼了。

The evening of the concert Mom wore glittery earrings and more makeup than I couldremember. Dad got out of work early, put on a suit and tie, and slicked down his hair withVitalis. They were an hour early, so we sat in the living room chatting nervously. I got theunspoken message that playing this one song was a dream come true for them.

音樂會那天晚上，媽媽戴上亮晶晶的耳環(huán)，臉上沒見她這么打扮過。爸爸早早就下了班，扎上領帶，一身套裝，頭發(fā)用發(fā)油梳得溜光。他們提前一小時就打扮完了，我們便坐在客廳里緊張地聊天。這時我得到一個無言的啟示：演奏這么一首歌是實現他倆的一個夢想。

At the theater nervousness overtook me as I realized how much I wanted to make my parentsproud. Finally, it was my turn. I walked to the lone chairon stage and performed "Are YouLonesome Tonight?" without a mistake. The applause spilled out, with a few hands still clappingafter others hadstopped. I was lightheaded, glad my ordeal was over.

在電影院，我意識到我是真想使父母感到自豪時，簡直緊張死了。終于輪到我上場了。我走向臺上孤零零的椅子，演奏了《今晚你可寂寞?》沒出一點兒錯。一時掌聲四起，落下后還有幾個人在拍手。我高興得輕飄飄的，總算熬到頭了。

After the concert Mom and Dad came backstage. The way they walked—heads high, facesflushed—I knew they were pleased. My mother gave me a big hug. Dad slipped an arm aroundme and held me close. "You were just great," he said. Then he shook my hand and was slow tolet it go.

音樂會散后媽媽和爸爸來到后臺。瞧他們走路那神氣——昂首挺胸，紅光滿面，我就知道他們很高興。母親緊緊擁抱了我。爸爸伸過一只胳臂摟住我不放。“你真是好樣兒的!”他說，然后又握住我的手，久久不松開。

As the years went by, the accordion drifted to the background of my life. Dad asked me to playat family occasions, but the lessons stopped. When I went to college, the accordion stayedbehind in the hall closet next to my father's violin.

隨著歲月的流逝，那架手風琴在我的生活中也漸漸隱退了。爸爸只要我在家有節(jié)慶的時候拉一拉，課是不上了。我上大學，那琴就放在門廳的壁櫥里，挨著父親的小提琴。

A year after my graduation, my parents moved to a house in a nearby town. Dad, at 51, finallyowned his own home. On moving day, I didn't have the heart to tell him he could dispose ofthe accordion, so I brought it to my own home and put it in the attic.

我畢業(yè)一年后，父母搬到了附近一個鎮(zhèn)上。父親在51歲終于有了自己的房子。搬家那天，我不忍心告訴他可以把手風琴賣了，于是我把它拿回我自己的家，放在閣樓上。

There it remained, a dusty memory until one afternoon several years later when my two childrendiscovered it by accident. Scott thought it was secret treasure; Holly thought a ghost livedinside. They were both right.

它就呆在那兒，一件灰塵撲撲的紀念物，直到好幾年后的一天下午，我的兩個孩子偶然發(fā)現了它。司各特以為是個秘藏的珍寶，荷里以為里頭住了個精靈。他倆都講對了。

When I opened the case, they laughed and said, "play it, play it." Reluctantly,I strapped on theaccordion and played some simple songs. I was surprised! my skills hadn't rusted away. Soonthe kids were dancing in circles and giggluig. Even my wife, Terri, was laughing and clapping tothe beat. I wa samazed at their unbridled glee.

我一打開箱子，他們就笑了，說道：“拉拉，拉拉嘛。”我勉強套上琴的背帶，拉了一些簡單的歌曲。沒想到我的琴法竟然沒有荒疏。很。陜孩子們就轉著圈子跳呀笑個不停。連我妻子特麗也樂呵呵地和著節(jié)奏拍起手來。他們那興高采烈的痛快勁兒真讓我吃驚。

My father's words came back to me: "Someday you'll have the chance I never had. Then you'IIunderstand."I finally knew what it meant to work hard and sacrifice for others. Dad had beenright all along: the most precious gift is to touch the hearts of those you love.

這時，父親的話又回到我的腦海：“總有一天你會有我從來沒有的機會。那時你就會明白的。” 我終于明白了為他人努力工作和做出犧牲的意義。爸爸始終是對的：打動你所愛的人的心才是最寶貴的禮物。

Later I phoned Dad to let him know that, at long last, I understood. Fumbling for the rightwords, I thanked him for the legacy it took almost 30 years to discover. "You're welcome," hesaid, his voice choked with emotion.

事后我打電話給爸爸，告訴他我終于明白過來了。我拙嘴笨舌地不知說什么好，只說我花了差不多30年的工夫才發(fā)現了他留給我的這筆財富，為此我感謝他。“不客氣。”他說，嗓音因激動而哽咽了。

Dad never learned to coax sweet sounds from his violin. Yet he was wrong to think he wouldnever for his family. On that wonderful evening, as my wife and children laughed and danced,they heard my accordion. But it was my father's music.

爸爸從未學會從他那小提琴上撥出甜美的聲音。但他以為他永遠都不會為他的家人演奏樂曲，那是他錯了。就在那個美妙的夜晚，我的妻兒又笑又跳，聽著我拉手風琴。可那是我父親的音樂。