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Jamie: Dr. Knight.
Knight: Hey, I'm very late.
Jamie: One thousand dollars.
Knight: Excuse me?
Jamie: It's a check for $1,000.
Knight: For what?
Jamie: For a special Pfizer preceptorship. For me to shadow you, learn your practice, and better serve the needs of doctors.
Knight: Are you bribing me?
Jamie: No, Doctor, no. It's a special Pfizer preceptorship for me to shadow you.
Knight: Is this a joke?
Jamie: If you think $1,000 is a joke. That's 33% fewer phone calls at 4:00 a.m...
Knight: I'd write a lot more of your scrip if I were a regularly paid consultant.
Jamie: Well, you know, we can talk to them about that.
Knight: They spend $5 billion a year on marketing, right? Instead of flying me to Cancun and making me sit through some bullshit, nonsense, peer-to-peer conference, just give me half that money in cash.
Jamie: Yeah, but Cancun...
Cindy: Dr. Knight, Mrs. Putney's on the phone. Excuse me.
Jamie: Sorry.
Cindy: Her daughter has to sing on Friday. They're doing Bye Bye Birdie, and she's playing Kim, and she wondered if you could call in an antibiotic?
Knight: Sure. Why not?
Cindy: Okay, thanks.
Knight: This can't be right. Janice? Janice? A 26-year-old needs Parkinson's medication?
Janice: Beth wrote that one up.
Knight: All right, look, if a patient asks, you're an intern, okay?
Jamie: Yeah. Can I take notes?
Knight: Sure. Why not?
Jamie: All right.
Knight: Hey. I'm Dr. Knight.
Maggie: Maggie Murdock.
Knight: So your file says, "Kind of an emergency."
Maggie: Yeah. My apartment was burgled yesterday, and they took my Parkinson's meds. But my symptoms are pretty good today, so it's "kind of an emergency." I know your Lilly rep, Trey Hannigan? He asked Cindy to squeeze me in, so...
Knight: Yeah, Trey's a great guy.
Maggie: Oh. Well, I wouldn't say that.
Knight: So, monotherapy?
Maggie: Yep. Sinemet CR, 50 milligrams, two times a day, plus Domperidone to cut the nausea, 10 milligrams, three times a day. Artane for the tremor, two milligrams, a whole tablet, three times a day. And Prozac, so that I'm not too bummed about having a major degenerative disorder at 26. Forty milligrams, once, in the morning.
Jamie: Zoloft has fewer side effects.
Maggie: I'm sorry, who are you?
Jamie: Jamie Randall. Intern.
Knight: So, early-onset Parkinson's. That's pretty rare.
Maggie: Yeah, yeah, yeah. First they thought it was essential tremor, then Wilson's disease, then Huntington's. Then, they tested for MAS, PSP, syphilis. I was very glad for a negative on that one. I didn't really relish the thought of feeling like a 19th century slut. Let's see. Then, there was brain tumor week, which was very scary. And then six months chasing obscure dystonias, but, no, it just turned out to be good, old-fashioned Parkinson's.
Knight: Right. And... Don't you have a neurologist?
Maggie: We broke up.
Knight: And do you have insurance?
Maggie: Do I have insurance.
Knight: Okay. Well, sure. Why not?
Maggie: Great.
Knight: Is there anything else I can do for you?
Maggie: Nope. Oh! Um... Actually, yeah. I have a weird blotch on my breast. I don't know, I'm trying not to freak out about it.
Knight: Well, let's have a look.
Maggie: Great. Here you go. Do you see that?
Knight: That's a spider bite.
Maggie: Is it?
Knight: Yeah, that's a spider bite.
Maggie: Great!
Knight: All right. There you are.
Maggie: Thank you, Dr. Knight.
Knight: Sure. You're welcome.
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