情人節(jié),Jay帶著Gloria去聽(tīng)脫口秀,沒(méi)想到的是他倒成了被取笑的對(duì)象。Mitchell 和Cameron帶著Manny去奪回他的情人節(jié)約會(huì),Mitchell發(fā)揮了他的律師口才。Phil則帶著Claire出外吃飯,Claire外套衣帶被電梯卡住,眼看真空著裝的Claire就要出丑,Gloria用她的經(jīng)驗(yàn)幫Claire解了圍。
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情人節(jié)快樂(lè)
Happy Valentine's Day.
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00:00:06,170 --> 00:00:09,050
情人節(jié)快樂(lè)
Oh, happy Valentine's Day.
3
00:00:15,370 --> 00:00:16,650
那今晚去弗里特利餐館咯
So, Fratelli's tonight?
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我來(lái)了 奶油糕餅
Hello, cannoli canoe.
5
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我喜歡 很合身
I like it. Nice fit.
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面料時(shí)髦
Swanky material.
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杰 你看起來(lái)又壯又性感
Jay, you look so strong and sexy.
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像個(gè)奧運(yùn)會(huì)摔跤健將 同時(shí)又是個(gè)款爺
Like an Olympic wrestler, but with money.
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-到你的了 -好的
- Your turn. - Okay.
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情人節(jié)是我最喜歡的美國(guó)節(jié)日
This is my favorite day in America.
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情人節(jié)快樂(lè) 美女
Happy Valentine's Day, gorgeous.
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好大啊
They're huge!
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-我的天啊 -是啊 肯定好看
- Oh, my God. - Yeah, those will work.
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-真漂亮 -你今晚戴著吧
- Beautiful. - You can wear 'em tonight.
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我準(zhǔn)備了驚喜
I have a surprise.
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莫非你終于要帶我去跳莎莎舞嗎
Don't tell me you're finally taking me salsa dancing!
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大衛(wèi)·布倫納是誰(shuí)
And who's David Brenner?
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拉斯維加斯的傳奇人物
Only a Vegas legend.
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他是魔術(shù)師嗎 我可喜歡魔術(shù)師了
Is he a magician? 'Cause I love magicians.
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他是個(gè)喜劇大師
He's a comedian.
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喜劇大師 可今天是情人節(jié)啊
A comedian? It's Valentine's Day.
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我還以為是去跳莎莎舞呢 別去看喜劇嘛
I thought we were going salsa dancing, not to watch a comedian.
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你會(huì)愛(ài)死他的 相信我
You're gonna love him. Trust me.
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那家伙可逗了
The guy's hilarious.
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好吧 說(shuō)一個(gè)他的段子
Okay, tell me one of his jokes.
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他可不說(shuō)段子
He doesn't do jokes.
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-那他有小木槌嗎 -沒(méi)
- Does he have a mallet? -No.
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那他怎么打頭逗笑啊
So then how does he get hit in the head?
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他不需要打頭逗笑
He doesn't get hit in the head.
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他觀察在場(chǎng)的觀眾們
He- He makes observations.
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然后用幽默的方式說(shuō)出來(lái)
He tells the truth in a funny way.
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拜托 他上過(guò)無(wú)數(shù)次《魯豫有約》了
Come on. He's been on Johnny Carson a hundred times.
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魯豫又是誰(shuí)
Who the hell is Johnny Carson?
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老天爺啊
Oh, for God's sake.
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我和歌洛莉亞不是一輩人
Gloria and I are from different generations.
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老實(shí)說(shuō) 我很難跟她交流
And I won't lie- It isn't always easy.
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上個(gè)星期 她還以為
I mean, last week she thought
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"西蒙和加韋科"組合是我的律師呢
Simon and Garfunkel were my lawyers.
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我可沒(méi)
No I didn't.
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我開(kāi)玩笑的呢
It was a joke.
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我沒(méi)聽(tīng)懂笑點(diǎn)
I don't get it.
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可能是因?yàn)槲覜](méi)小木槌逗你笑
Maybe that's because there's no mallet.
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是啊 我現(xiàn)在就想用木槌捶死你
Yeah, I wish I had a mallet right now.
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00:01:47,350 --> 00:01:49,270
...打算待在加州北部
...was to stay in Northern California.
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你有沒(méi)告訴她 需要多長(zhǎng)時(shí)間
Did you indicate to her how long that you were gonna take?
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00:01:52,940 --> 00:01:55,240
-情人節(jié)快樂(lè) -情人節(jié)快樂(lè)
- Happy Valentine's Day. - Happy Valentine's Day.
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00:01:56,430 --> 00:01:59,530
-情人節(jié)快樂(lè) 爹地 -情人節(jié)快樂(lè) 莉莉
- Happy Valentine's Day, Daddy. - Happy Valentine's Day, Lily.
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發(fā)現(xiàn)什么特別的了嗎
Notice anything different?
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-真有愛(ài) -有愛(ài)而已嗎
- Oh, that is cute. - Cute?
50
00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:06,700
我們花了很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間打扮呢
We spent a lot of time on this.
51
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我可沒(méi)看出來(lái)
I don't see how.
52
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你只是拆了一條羽毛圍巾而已
You just cut up one of your boas.
53
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其實(shí) 我們重新改造了一下
Uh- Actually, no. We repurposed it.
54
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,460
我們走的是名人混搭風(fēng)
It was sort of a Bob Mackie meets Martha Stewart project.
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好吧 我們還以為能給你個(gè)驚喜呢
Okay. Well, we just thought it would be a nice surprise.
56
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其實(shí)沒(méi)什么好驚喜的
It's hardly a surprise. I mean,
57
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逢年過(guò)節(jié)你都會(huì)把她打扮一番
you dress her up for every holiday.
58
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我昨晚給她洗澡時(shí)
I was giving her a bath last night,
59
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,810
我發(fā)現(xiàn)馬丁·路德·金的妝還在呢
and I still saw traces of Martin Luther King behind her ear.
60
00:02:23,890 --> 00:02:25,260
好吧 你不喜歡 我們懂了
All right. Not in the spirit. We get it.
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不不 對(duì)不起
No, I'm-I'm sorry.
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不 你弄得很好看 只是我
No. It's adorable. I just-
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我真的很擔(dān)心我的結(jié)案陳詞
I'm really nervous about my closing argument.
64
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你都練了好幾個(gè)星期了
Oh, you've been rehearsing for weeks.
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你會(huì)發(fā)揮出色的
You're gonna be great.
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00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:33,660
但愿如此吧
Let's hope so.
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對(duì)了 我在想
Hey, and I was wondering-
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既然你一整天都要在法院里
since you're gonna be in court all day-
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你想吃巧克力就先吃吧
You can open the chocolates.
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00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,010
好極了
Score.
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00:02:43,450 --> 00:02:44,620
你好 迪蘭
Hi, Dylan.
72
00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:47,500
鄧菲太太 情人節(jié)快樂(lè)
Happy Valentine's Day, Mrs. Dunphy.
73
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迪蘭 謝謝啊 你真貼心
Oh. Dylan, thank you. That is so sweet.
74
00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:54,340
要是所有老女人都像你這樣有氣質(zhì)就好了
You know, all women should look as tasty as you when they're old.
75
00:02:54,420 --> 00:02:56,090
這話聽(tīng)著怪怪的
Huh. Conflicted.
76
00:02:56,170 --> 00:02:57,630
嘿 寶貝兒
Hey, baby.
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這份禮物代表了我對(duì)你的鐘情
Hey. Take this sweet gift as a token of my affection,
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00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:02,800
對(duì)你的愛(ài)慕和無(wú)盡的愛(ài)意
my unending love and admiration-
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00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:04,800
我的天 真大啊
Oh, my God. Yay, it's big!
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00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,180
天吶
Oh, my God.
81
00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:11,060
愛(ài)死了 這是我見(jiàn)過(guò)最漂亮的東西
I love it. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
82
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:13,040
你得用紫外燈照著看看[精液斑斑]
Seriously, you gotta put a black light on it.
83
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,770
會(huì)美得讓你犯暈?zāi)?/p>
It'll blow your mind.
84
00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:17,820
迪蘭 原來(lái)你還會(huì)畫畫啊
Wow! Dylan, I didn't know you could paint.
85
00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:19,710
不不 我只是照了張照片
Oh, I didn't. I just took a photo
86
00:03:19,710 --> 00:03:20,830
然后用軟件處理了一下
and I put it through this program
87
00:03:20,830 --> 00:03:22,320
就把它變成畫了
that turns it into a painting.
88
00:03:23,490 --> 00:03:25,870
所以你們還真的做過(guò)
So you two actually did...
89
00:03:25,950 --> 00:03:27,950
-那個(gè) -嗯嗯
- that. - Uh-huh.
90
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,100
是啊
Yeah.
91
00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:30,370
我們把它掛在我床頭吧
Let's go put this over my bed.
92
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,120
不行 不行
Not- No, no.
93
00:03:32,210 --> 00:03:34,210
那東西不能進(jìn)你閨房
You don't need to be in the bedroom at all.
94
00:03:34,290 --> 00:03:36,250
我替你保管
I'll take it.
95
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,460
他比我浪漫嗎 迪迪仔
Did he trump me? D-Money.
96
00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:42,720
你說(shuō)呢 他把一張照片做成了一幅畫
You tell me. He made a painting out of a photograph one time.
97
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,390
而我只是送一張賀卡
I have hand-picked a card,
98
00:03:45,470 --> 00:03:47,720
偷偷在浴室的鏡子上畫一顆心
drawn a heart in the steam on the medicine cabinet,
99
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然后帶克萊爾去弗里特利餐廳
and taken Claire to Fratelli's,
100
00:03:49,890 --> 00:03:51,500
去吃意大利家常菜
a family-style Italian restaurant,
101
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:54,060
17年來(lái)一成不變
for 17 years in a row.
102
00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,460
毫無(wú)疑問(wèn) 他比我浪漫多了
Yeah, he got me. He got me.
103
00:04:05,590 --> 00:04:06,920
摩登家庭
第一季第十五集
104
00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:09,870
-再見(jiàn) 寶貝 -待會(huì)兒見(jiàn)
- Bye, honey. - See you later.
105
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:10,850
待會(huì)兒見(jiàn)
See you later.
106
00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:12,660
菲爾 你這是鬧哪出
Phil, what is that?
107
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,420
我們今晚也不是非要去弗里特利餐廳啦
You know, we don't have to go to Fratelli's tonight.
108
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:20,800
好啊 那你有什么好主意
Okay, what do you have in mind?
109
00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:25,110
我嘛 覺(jué)得你可以去酒店開(kāi)房爽一晚
Well, I thought you might enjoy a night at a hotel.
110
00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:28,720
好啊 不過(guò)你在家?guī)Ш⒆有袉?/p>
I would, but would you and the kids be okay?
111
00:04:28,850 --> 00:04:31,100
-我也和你去啊 -好的 我懂了
- I meant together. - Yes, I know.
112
00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,350
我當(dāng)然懂 明白了
Oh. I know. I know. I got it.
113
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,690
那 你意下如何
So, what do you think?
114
00:04:37,530 --> 00:04:40,320
我想你今晚就別想睡了
I think you're not getting any sleep tonight,
115
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,320
所以你今天上班時(shí)好好歇著吧
so you might want to take a nap at work today.
116
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,700
我一向如此
I always do.
117
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,620
菲爾 親愛(ài)的
Phil? Sweetie.
118
00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:55,520
既然我們要玩點(diǎn)兒情色的
As long as we're talking about being a little bit naughty,
119
00:04:55,520 --> 00:05:00,690
你覺(jué)得來(lái)點(diǎn)兒角色扮演怎樣
what would you say to a little role-playing?
120
00:05:00,690 --> 00:05:03,090
-角色扮演啊 -嗯嗯
- Role-play? - Mm-hmm.
121
00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:05,170
好啊
I'm in.
122
00:05:05,170 --> 00:05:07,680
我去安排孩子們今晚住別人家
I'll set up sleepovers for the kids.
123
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,850
那我下班后來(lái)接你吧
And I'll swing by after work to pick you up.
124
00:05:09,850 --> 00:05:13,800
不不 要不你到酒店的酒吧去找我唄
No, no. Why don't you meet me in the hotel bar
125
00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,810
看看你能不能在哪兒釣到我
and see if you can pick me up there.
126
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:20,900
小心點(diǎn) 小姐 你會(huì)喚醒一頭沉睡的"雄"獅哦
Careful, lady. You're gonna wake up a sexy sleeping giant.
127
00:05:22,430 --> 00:05:24,900
也許我可以扮演雷金納德·阿普比
Perhaps I'll be Reginald Appleby,
128
00:05:25,230 --> 00:05:28,660
一位來(lái)參加馬球比賽的英國(guó)紳士
an English gentleman in town for a polo match.
129
00:05:28,780 --> 00:05:29,700
菲爾
Phil.
130
00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:33,890
要不 一位來(lái)自香港的優(yōu)雅商人
Or...Honorable businessman from Hong Kong.
131
00:05:33,890 --> 00:05:35,240
再說(shuō)就性趣全無(wú)了
Kinda wrecking it.
132
00:05:38,790 --> 00:05:40,330
沒(méi)什么大不了的 克萊爾
It's not a big deal, Claire.
133
00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:42,710
我只是個(gè)拿皮鞭的馴獸師
I just train tigers for a living.
134
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,760
太重口味了嗎
Too... No?
135
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,400
這些是玫瑰花瓣嗎
Are these rose petals?
136
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,310
是的 為了紀(jì)念我們的愛(ài)情
Yes, to commemorate our love.
137
00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,710
我被迫和解[安定下來(lái)]
I had to settle.
138
00:05:59,710 --> 00:06:00,940
你媽或許會(huì)認(rèn)為你是"被迫"的
Well, your mom might think so,
139
00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:02,090
不過(guò)其他人都覺(jué)得我是個(gè)賢夫哦
but a lot of people think I'm a catch.
140
00:06:02,090 --> 00:06:05,380
不 我是說(shuō)那案子 我差點(diǎn)兒就要成功了
No. The case. I- I was this close to nailing it,
141
00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:08,870
可我的委托人臨陣退縮 和解了
and then my client gets scared and settles.
142
00:06:08,870 --> 00:06:11,700
真遺憾 來(lái)顆巧克力吧
I'm sorry. Maybe you'd like a chocolate.
143
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:15,020
我可是一顆也沒(méi)偷吃哦
Notice that I have not eaten any of the chocolates.
144
00:06:15,470 --> 00:06:18,640
盒子原本有兩層的 你我心里都清楚
There were two levels. You know it and I know it.
145
00:06:18,730 --> 00:06:20,900
真是太受打擊了
This is so frustrating.
146
00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:23,820
我精心準(zhǔn)備了有史以來(lái)最強(qiáng)的結(jié)案陳詞
I had one of the greatest closing arguments of all time-
147
00:06:23,820 --> 00:06:26,520
控訴"大政府"如何欺壓"小人民"
all about the big government rolling over the little guy,
148
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,120
而且我還想好了如何推向高潮
and I even had this great moment at the end...
149
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:31,680
我會(huì)指著國(guó)徽高呼 "可恥啊"
where I would point to the state seal and I'd say, "Shame!"
150
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,640
原來(lái)你洗澡時(shí)是在練這個(gè)啊
Oh, that's what you were doing in the shower.
151
00:06:33,770 --> 00:06:35,680
我那時(shí)還擔(dān)心呢
I was a little worried.
152
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:36,790
是曼尼來(lái)了
Um, that's Manny.
153
00:06:36,790 --> 00:06:39,250
我答應(yīng)今晚照看他 希望你別介意
I said we would watch him tonight. I hope you don't mind.
154
00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:40,840
我沒(méi)想到你今天會(huì)這么倒霉
I didn't know you were gonna be going through all this.
155
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:42,800
沒(méi)關(guān)系 有個(gè)孩子在挺好的
No, it's fine. It might be nice to have him around.
156
00:06:42,930 --> 00:06:45,250
他總是能逗我發(fā)笑
He always make me laugh.
157
00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:46,250
嗨 曼尼
Hi, Manny.
158
00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:48,350
世界又冷酷又無(wú)情
The universe is cold and loveless.
159
00:06:48,350 --> 00:06:50,860
怎么了 情人節(jié)過(guò)得不好嗎
Uh-oh. Bad Valentine's Day?
160
00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:54,550
我追尋我的愛(ài)人 菲奧娜·岡德森
I went for the gold- Fiona Gunderson.
161
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:58,540
我傾心吐膽地為她寫了首詩(shī) 放在她桌子上
I poured my heart and soul into a poem, left it on her desk.
162
00:06:58,890 --> 00:07:01,470
我甚至把紙邊燒了一下 讓它更好看些
I even burned the edges to make it look fancy.
163
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:02,720
她不喜歡嗎
And she didn't like it?
164
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:03,810
她很喜歡
Oh, she loved it.
165
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:06,020
可有個(gè)叫德卡斯的小崽子說(shuō)是他寫的
But this kid Durkas told her he wrote it.
166
00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:08,610
曼尼 那你為什么不告訴她真相呢
Well, Manny, why-why didn't you just tell her the truth?
167
00:07:08,690 --> 00:07:10,120
她那時(shí)已經(jīng)走了
She was already gone.
168
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,570
而且他倆要去我最喜歡的餐廳約會(huì)
And she's on a date with him at my favorite restaurant,
169
00:07:12,570 --> 00:07:13,320
美奶昔餐廳
Great Shakes.
170
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:14,380
你怎么知道啊
How do you know all this?
171
00:07:14,380 --> 00:07:16,050
我在信里邀請(qǐng)她去那兒的
I invited her in the poem.
172
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:17,300
就在那詩(shī)句之后
Right after the line of,
173
00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:20,120
"五大湖水深千尺 不及我愛(ài)你之情"
"My love is deeper than the Great Lakes."
174
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,330
好吧 這簡(jiǎn)直無(wú)法容忍
Okay, well, this is unacceptable.
175
00:07:22,330 --> 00:07:23,550
我的天 又來(lái)了
Oh, boy. Here we go.
176
00:07:23,550 --> 00:07:24,850
不 其實(shí)沒(méi)什么難的
No, it's not that big of a deal.
177
00:07:24,850 --> 00:07:25,550
接下來(lái)我們這么干
This is what we're gonna do.
178
00:07:25,550 --> 00:07:27,680
我們?nèi)ッ滥涛舨蛷d 找張桌子坐下
We're gonna shoot over to Great Shakes, get a table.
179
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,460
曼尼去追回他的摯愛(ài)
Manny can reclaim the love of his life.
180
00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:31,390
你我去弄點(diǎn)好吃的
You and I can get a couple Mudslides.
181
00:07:31,470 --> 00:07:33,140
我覺(jué)得不太好
I don't know.
182
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,370
德卡斯也在那兒
Durkas is gonna be there.
183
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:36,360
那小崽子可壯了
I've seen the kid do a pull-up.
184
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,840
曼尼 今天是情人節(jié)
Hey, Manny, it's Valentine's Day.
185
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,450
今天不是逃離愛(ài)情的日子
It's not the day you run away from love.
186
00:07:40,450 --> 00:07:43,060
而是追逐愛(ài)情 收獲愛(ài)情的日子
It's the day you track it down, tie it up and take it home.
187
00:07:43,470 --> 00:07:44,820
要是我們能成功
Now, if we can pull this off,
188
00:07:44,820 --> 00:07:47,710
你和你的小女朋友就能倚在吧臺(tái)前
you and your little lady friend will be belly up to a ice cream counter
189
00:07:47,710 --> 00:07:49,340
浪漫地共享一杯奶昔
having a milk shake with two straws.
190
00:07:49,340 --> 00:07:50,940
你看如何
What do you say?
191
00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:52,820
我喜歡
I like it.
192
00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:55,070
謝謝 謝謝
Thank you. Thank you.
193
00:07:55,150 --> 00:07:57,860
科學(xué)家也無(wú)法解釋這個(gè)現(xiàn)象
Scientists- They don't know why this is true,
194
00:07:57,950 --> 00:07:59,610
可確實(shí)如此
but it's true.
195
00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:04,660
大屁股的女人能長(zhǎng)壽
Women with big rear ends live longer.
196
00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:07,150
但夸女人屁股大的男人會(huì)短命
Man who tell 'em that don't.
197
00:08:08,540 --> 00:08:10,460
你們聽(tīng)過(guò)這么件事沒(méi)有
Did you read about this man,
198
00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:13,670
有個(gè)91歲的老頭在德州搶銀行
a 91 -year old bank robber in Texas?
199
00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:15,750
他走進(jìn)銀行
He goes into a bank-
200
00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:19,630
"我要干什么來(lái)著"
"The hell did I want?"
201
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:23,260
他們照下了四千張他逃離銀行的照片
They had over 4,000 photos of him escaping from the bank.
202
00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:30,770
是吧 他很逗 對(duì)吧
See? He's funny, huh?
203
00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:43,200
能坐你旁邊嗎
Mind if I join you?
204
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,200
我叫克里夫 克里夫·比克斯比
I'm Clive. Clive Bixby.
205
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,460
我看到了 我叫朱莉安娜
Yes, I can see that. I'm Juliana.
206
00:08:50,540 --> 00:08:53,080
克里夫 你是來(lái)這兒開(kāi)會(huì)的
So, Clive, you in town for a convention,
207
00:08:53,170 --> 00:08:55,880
還是只是老記不住自己的名字
or do you just forget your name a lot?
208
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,590
性感小野貓爪子挺鋒利嘛
Pretty kitty has nails.
209
00:08:58,670 --> 00:09:00,590
我喜歡
I like that.
210
00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:04,090
我是來(lái)參加交易會(huì)的
I'm in town for a trade show.
211
00:09:04,180 --> 00:09:08,390
我設(shè)計(jì)高級(jí)電聲轉(zhuǎn)換器
I design high-end electroacoustic transducers.
212
00:09:08,470 --> 00:09:10,520
那可真是
Wow, that is very...
213
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:11,940
特別啊
specific.
214
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:16,480
意思是我能讓東西叫出聲
It's a fancy way of saying I get things to make noise.
215
00:09:18,610 --> 00:09:20,940
那你呢
So, what's your story?
216
00:09:21,990 --> 00:09:24,310
你是選美佳麗嗎
Miss America Pageant in town?
217
00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:27,910
你跟女人搭訕很順溜啊 克里夫
You're a pretty smooth talker, Clive.
218
00:09:27,990 --> 00:09:30,500
我全身上下都很"順溜"
I'm pretty smooth all over.
219
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,960
先生 本餐廳禁止吸煙
Sir, there's no smoking in here.
220
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,830
好的 其實(shí)我也不抽煙
Oh, that's fine. I'm not actually a smoker.
221
00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:43,170
你真像個(gè)小童子軍 克里夫
You're quite the Boy Scout, Clive.
222
00:09:43,260 --> 00:09:44,580
我問(wèn)你 今晚你有沒(méi)興趣
Tell me, would you be interested in
223
00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:47,390
來(lái)贏一枚小勛章呢
earning a merit badge tonight?
224
00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:50,680
你會(huì)捆綁 會(huì)打結(jié)嗎
Do you know anything about tying knots?
225
00:09:51,770 --> 00:09:55,690
我或許不該找你聊天的
I probably shouldn't be talking to you.
226
00:09:55,810 --> 00:09:57,770
我是有婦之夫
I'm a married man.
227
00:09:57,860 --> 00:10:01,860
正好 我就喜歡有婦之夫
Well, I just so happen to like married men.
228
00:10:01,990 --> 00:10:03,130
跟我說(shuō)說(shuō)你妻子吧
Tell me about your wife.
229
00:10:03,130 --> 00:10:05,110
她非常漂亮 必須的
Well, she's beautiful, of course.
230
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,500
是嗎 既然她那么漂亮
Really? Well, if she's so very beautiful,
231
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:08,910
你怎么會(huì)跟我在一起呢
why are you here with me?
232
00:10:08,990 --> 00:10:10,910
因?yàn)樗偸呛芷v
Because she's always so tired...
233
00:10:10,990 --> 00:10:14,370
而且她總是忙著使喚我干活兒
and she's always making lists of things for me to do.
234
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:17,050
也許如果你聽(tīng)她使喚 她就不會(huì)這么累了
Maybe if you did them she wouldn't be so tired.
235
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,420
不 她吩咐的事根本做不完
Oh no. She can make list for days.
236
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:22,880
不過(guò)說(shuō)回你的性感雙唇
But back to your mouth and how sexy it is.
237
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:25,530
不不 我倒是想說(shuō)回那些"使喚"
Mm-mmm. I wanna go back to these alleged lists
238
00:10:25,530 --> 00:10:26,820
還有你那嘮叨的妻子
and your nagging wife.
239
00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:28,640
我不是在說(shuō)你
I'm not talking about you.
240
00:10:30,850 --> 00:10:32,770
我不是那個(gè)意思 再重來(lái)一次好嗎
I didn't mean that. Can we try this again?
241
00:10:32,850 --> 00:10:34,850
好吧
Yeah.
242
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,760
那既然你妻子這么漂亮
So if your wife is so beautiful,
243
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,310
你怎么會(huì)跟我在一起呢
why are you here with me?
244
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,650
因?yàn)?/p>
Because...
245
00:10:46,740 --> 00:10:49,430
我太疼她了
I respect her too much...
246
00:10:49,430 --> 00:10:51,660
所以我不忍對(duì)她下手
to do to her...
247
00:10:51,740 --> 00:10:54,530
像對(duì)你般地蹂躪她
what I'm going to do to you?
248
00:10:54,830 --> 00:10:56,560
噢 中大獎(jiǎng)了
Oh, jackpot.
249
00:10:57,980 --> 00:11:00,580
我一會(huì)兒就回來(lái) 克里夫
I'll be right back, Clive.
250
00:11:09,810 --> 00:11:11,980
你發(fā)現(xiàn)她了嗎 她在這兒?jiǎn)?/p>
Do you have eyes on her? Is she here?
251
00:11:12,060 --> 00:11:14,270
兩點(diǎn)鐘方向 坐在后排桌子的金發(fā)女生
Two o'clock- blonde at the back table.
252
00:11:14,350 --> 00:11:16,900
明白 發(fā)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)了
Yep. I have a visual.
253
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:19,570
別再用這種軍事用語(yǔ)了 完畢
Let's not talk like that anymore. Over.
254
00:11:19,650 --> 00:11:22,570
好 就這么干 我要去贏回我的愛(ài)人
Okay, this is it. I'm off to win the heart of my beloved.
255
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:26,330
這真是件好事
Well, this is nice.
256
00:11:26,330 --> 00:11:28,570
如果沒(méi)法好好過(guò)自己的情人節(jié)
I mean, if we can't have our own Valentine's Day,
257
00:11:28,570 --> 00:11:30,200
能幫別人過(guò)個(gè)好節(jié)也不錯(cuò)
it's nice that we can give somebody else one.
258
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,790
好吧 小卡 對(duì)不起
All right, Cam. I'm sorry.
259
00:11:31,870 --> 00:11:33,790
我很抱歉 忽視了你的精心安排
I'm sor- I'm sorry I have not been attentive.
260
00:11:33,870 --> 00:11:35,500
過(guò)去五個(gè)月來(lái)
I've been spending the last five months...
261
00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:36,910
我嘔心瀝血
pouring my core beliefs
262
00:11:36,910 --> 00:11:38,880
寫出了自己最棒的講稿
into the greatest speech that I will ever write,
263
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,030
但一切努力卻付諸東流
and then that moment gets taken away.
264
00:11:41,420 --> 00:11:42,670
老弟 情況如何
Hey, buddy. How'd it go?
265
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,620
我做不來(lái) 德卡斯在那兒呢
I can't do it, not while Durkas is there.
266
00:11:45,690 --> 00:11:48,880
他有種天生的自信 我對(duì)他又敬又怕
He has the natural confidence. I admire it and fear it.
267
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,670
我們會(huì)搞定他的 我們得計(jì)劃一下
We will deal with him directly. We need a plan.
268
00:11:54,550 --> 00:11:56,760
你敢再戲劇化一點(diǎn)嗎
Could you be more dramatic?
269
00:11:58,850 --> 00:12:00,670
我們得計(jì)劃一下
We need a plan.
270
00:12:02,060 --> 00:12:03,210
在俄勒岡州
In Oregon,
271
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,140
立法會(huì)頒布了一項(xiàng)法令
the state legislature ratified a, uh, bill...
272
00:12:07,140 --> 00:12:08,700
規(guī)定從今往后
that from now on
273
00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:13,080
人和動(dòng)物發(fā)生性關(guān)系將被視為犯罪
it is a crime to have sex in Oregon with a farm animal.
274
00:12:14,190 --> 00:12:17,490
俄勒岡的女人是有多丑啊
How ugly are the women in Oregon?
275
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:21,390
杰 他太逗了
He's funny, Jay.
276
00:12:21,390 --> 00:12:22,710
對(duì)啊 沒(méi)說(shuō)錯(cuò)吧
I know. See?
277
00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:25,090
-我看得出來(lái) 你肯定不是從俄勒岡來(lái)的 -不是
- I can tell you're not- you're not from Oregon. -No.
278
00:12:25,090 --> 00:12:28,130
-你美極了 -謝謝
- You are gorgeous. - Thank you.
279
00:12:28,210 --> 00:12:30,630
謝謝你帶你爸爸來(lái)看我表演
Thank you for bringing your father to the show.
280
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:33,180
不對(duì) 我是她丈夫 大衛(wèi)
Oh, no. I'm her husband, Dave.
281
00:12:33,260 --> 00:12:35,050
-沒(méi)開(kāi)玩笑吧 -沒(méi)呢
- No kidding. - Yeah.
282
00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:36,640
和他結(jié)婚的感覺(jué)如何啊
What's it like to be married to someone
283
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,640
那家伙估計(jì)和《圣經(jīng)》一樣老了吧
who was there when the Bible was written?
284
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:43,520
你們那時(shí)候叫什么 就叫《箴言錄》嗎
What was it called then? Just "The Testament"?
285
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:47,270
真是 真是有意思
That's, uh- That's- That's good stuff.
286
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,780
現(xiàn)在他就想關(guān)燈睡覺(jué)了
Oh, now he's trying to turn out the light.
287
00:12:56,660 --> 00:12:58,790
有電話找您 在那邊
Phone call. Over there.
288
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:03,230
-喂 -喂 您好
- Hello? - Uh, yes. Hello.
289
00:13:03,230 --> 00:13:05,000
-是德卡斯先生嗎 -是我
- Mr. Durkas? - Yeah.
290
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,290
我是唐·卓立
This is Don Jolly...
291
00:13:06,380 --> 00:13:07,690
我是"美奶昔"公司的
with the Great Shakes corporate office,
292
00:13:07,690 --> 00:13:09,270
我有個(gè)好消息告訴您
and I have good news for you.
293
00:13:09,270 --> 00:13:12,710
您被抽中參與我們的調(diào)查
You have been selected to take part in a random survey...
294
00:13:12,710 --> 00:13:14,630
而且您將獲得現(xiàn)金獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)
that you could win cash and prizes.
295
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,720
您有興趣參加我們的活動(dòng)嗎
Does that sound like something you'd be interested in?
296
00:13:16,850 --> 00:13:18,630
好啊 當(dāng)然
Yeah, sure.
297
00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:20,880
好的 我們只是問(wèn)您幾個(gè)小問(wèn)題
Okay, just a few simple questions for you.
298
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,960
您能否根據(jù)自己的喜好
Would you please rank your favorite ice creams
299
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:26,350
把美奶昔的冰激凌排一下序
at Great Shakes from least favorite to favorite?
300
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,180
我其實(shí)也不太熟悉產(chǎn)品
I don't know 'em by heart.
301
00:13:28,180 --> 00:13:30,230
您右手邊應(yīng)該就有一本菜單
There should be a menu right there to your right.
302
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:33,190
在你右邊 好了 開(kāi)始吧
To your right. Mm-hmm. There you go.
303
00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:37,620
你好 曼尼
Oh. Hi, Manny.
304
00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:39,830
你好 菲奧娜 我能坐下嗎
Hi, Fiona. Can I join you?
305
00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:41,370
-可以吧 -謝謝
- I guess so. -Thanks.
306
00:13:43,870 --> 00:13:46,700
你不必?fù)?dān)心他會(huì)出軌 那是肯定的
And you don't have to worry about him cheating. That's for sure.
307
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,970
如果他出軌了 你肯定會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)的
Because if he does, you'll catch him...
308
00:13:48,970 --> 00:13:51,570
因?yàn)樗丶視r(shí)嘴里肯定有兩副假牙
when he comes home with two sets of teeth in his mouth.
309
00:13:52,670 --> 00:13:53,520
是啊
Yeah.
310
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,070
給我們說(shuō)說(shuō) 他在新婚之夜表現(xiàn)如何
So tell me, on the wedding night, what-what did he do?
311
00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:58,040
他是不是說(shuō)想換個(gè)舒服的做愛(ài)姿勢(shì)
Did he say he wanted to change into something comfortable
312
00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,040
然后就一睡不起了
and go into a coma?
313
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:01,950
-我想去去洗手間 -別去嘛
- Listen, I gotta use the men's room. - Nuh-uh.
314
00:14:01,950 --> 00:14:03,640
我必須去一趟 馬上就回來(lái)
I gotta use the men's room. I'll be right back.
315
00:14:03,730 --> 00:14:04,980
你要去哪兒 等會(huì)兒
Where you going? Wait a minute.
316
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,730
我只是開(kāi)玩笑的 我就是干這個(gè)的
I'm only joking. That's what I do.
317
00:14:06,810 --> 00:14:08,650
你比我可年輕多了
You know, you're way younger than I am.
318
00:14:08,730 --> 00:14:10,570
你只是看著顯老
You just don't look it.
319
00:14:17,110 --> 00:14:21,200
克里夫 我有點(diǎn)兒小東西給你
Clive, I have a little something for you.
320
00:14:21,290 --> 00:14:23,620
是什么
What is it?
321
00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:26,780
我的裙子
My dress.
322
00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:31,750
-我的胸罩 -我的天
- My bra. - Oh, my g-
323
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,840
我的小內(nèi)內(nèi)
My underwear.
324
00:14:35,630 --> 00:14:37,550
-我的天 -嗯嗯
- My God. - Yeah.
325
00:14:37,630 --> 00:14:41,130
要不我們拿著這些上樓去吧
What do you say we take this upstairs?
326
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:44,050
這比吃意大利菜好太多了
This is so much better than cheesy garlic bread.
327
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,130
-巧克力味 -好的 繼續(xù)
- Chocolate. - Uh-huh. Go on.
328
00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:51,140
-香草味 -我正記著呢
- Vanilla. - I'm taking copious notes.
329
00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:53,060
您繼續(xù)說(shuō) 德卡斯先生
Keep goin', Mr. Durkas.
330
00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:55,890
如果詩(shī)不是泰德寫的 他為什么騙人呢
So, why would Ted say he wrote the poem if he didn't?
331
00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:57,890
也許是因?yàn)槟闶切;?/p>
Maybe because you're the cutest girl in school,
332
00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,980
而且你回眸一笑就傾國(guó)傾城
and you have a laugh that makes science lab seem like recess.
333
00:15:04,050 --> 00:15:06,370
那你愿不愿意
Would you be more or less inclined
334
00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:08,140
去"美奶昔"公司做客
to visit a Great Shakes establishment...
335
00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:10,600
如果你事先知道你的愿望都會(huì)被滿足
if you knew your satisfaction was guaranteed?
336
00:15:10,730 --> 00:15:12,100
-真是個(gè)傻逼問(wèn)題 -不好意思
- That's a dumb question. - Excuse me.
337
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:13,390
我這問(wèn)題不傻逼 先生
It is not a dumb question, Mr. -
338
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,310
-該死 他掛了 -那你不必裝那口音了
- Tarnation! He hung up. - Then you can drop the accent.
339
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,530
迪爾加多 你在這兒干嘛
Delgado. What are you doing here?
340
00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:24,380
在討論詩(shī)歌呢 你想背誦一下你的作品嗎
Discussing poetry. Maybe you'll like to recite some of yours.
341
00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:25,910
我才不背什么東西呢
I'm not gonna recite anything.
342
00:15:25,990 --> 00:15:27,990
承認(rèn)吧 那首詩(shī)根本不是你寫的
Just admit you didn't write the poem.
343
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:29,580
我不知道他在說(shuō)什么
I don't know what he's talking about.
344
00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:31,370
趕緊滾蛋 別逼我揍你一頓
Get out of here before you get your butt kicked.
345
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,580
-我要過(guò)去一下 -不 我來(lái)吧
- I'm going over there. - No, I got this.
346
00:15:37,210 --> 00:15:40,000
喂 喂 先生 先生 轉(zhuǎn)回去
Whoa! Whoa, sir! Sir? Turn around.
347
00:15:40,090 --> 00:15:41,940
先生 你無(wú)權(quán)
Sir, you have no right
348
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:44,130
把他人的作品據(jù)為己有
to claim ownership of another person's work.
349
00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:45,290
你算老幾
Who are you?
350
00:15:45,290 --> 00:15:47,130
我是個(gè)律師
I'm a lawyer.
351
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,550
你還有律師啊
You have a lawyer?
352
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,930
你說(shuō)謊是一回事
It is one thing to lie,
353
00:15:51,020 --> 00:15:53,600
但你竟然接著又欺負(fù)這位年輕人 簡(jiǎn)直不可饒恕
but then to bully this young man- it's unforgivable.
354
00:15:53,730 --> 00:15:55,640
這就是當(dāng)今世界的不公平
And this is what's wrong with the world today.
355
00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:57,810
大塊頭
The big guy...
356
00:15:57,900 --> 00:15:59,810
自以為能凌駕于小家伙之上
thinks that he can roll right over the little guy...
357
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:03,700
直到小家伙說(shuō)"夠了"
until the little guy says, "Enough."
358
00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:05,240
而那正是這位小家伙要做的
And that's what this little guy's doing-
359
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,490
就在此時(shí) 此刻
right here, right now.
360
00:16:07,570 --> 00:16:09,950
能別再叫我"小家伙"了嗎 我還不算矮的呢
Can we stop calling me "Little guy"? I'm in the 40th percentile.
361
00:16:10,030 --> 00:16:11,320
噓 看我的吧
Shh. I got this.
362
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:15,750
泰德·德卡斯 顯然沒(méi)有寫那首詩(shī)
Ted Durkas clearly did not write that poem.
363
00:16:15,830 --> 00:16:18,960
我清楚 他心里也清楚
I know it. He knows it.
364
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,130
你好好問(wèn)問(wèn)自己 菲奧娜
Deep down in your heart, Fiona-
365
00:16:22,580 --> 00:16:24,160
你一定也清楚
You know it too.
366
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:31,050
可恥啊
Shame!
367
00:16:31,140 --> 00:16:33,140
好吧 隨便了 我是偷了他的傻逼詩(shī)
Fine! Whatever. I stole his stupid poem.
368
00:16:33,220 --> 00:16:34,990
-你偷的 -我就說(shuō)嘛
- You did? - I told you.
369
00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:36,000
認(rèn)罪吧
There you go.
370
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,940
我這么做 是因?yàn)槲矣写松钋?/p>
I only did it because I had the feelings,
371
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,270
我只是不知道如何向你表達(dá)
I just didn't know how to show 'em.
372
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:45,690
真的嗎 從來(lái)沒(méi)人對(duì)我做如此甜蜜的事
Really? That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me.
373
00:16:46,650 --> 00:16:48,400
開(kāi)什么玩笑啊
You've gotta be kidding me.
374
00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:51,590
-走吧 這妞兒是個(gè)二逼青年 -絕對(duì)的
- Let's get out of here. This chick's crazy. - Seriously.
375
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:53,440
我從沒(méi)見(jiàn)過(guò)你如此霸氣啊
I've never seen you like that.
376
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,250
你無(wú)法想象那種感覺(jué)有多爽
You have no idea how good that felt.
377
00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:58,250
情人節(jié)快樂(lè) 律師先生
Well, happy Valentine's Day, counselor.
378
00:16:58,460 --> 00:17:01,000
我們發(fā)展得真快啊 朱莉安娜
This is all happening so fast, Juliana.
379
00:17:01,090 --> 00:17:04,050
是啊 而且我午夜之前必須趕回家陪老公
I know, and I have to be home to my husband by midnight.
380
00:17:04,130 --> 00:17:06,380
喲 糾結(jié)的劇情
Ooh, a twist.
381
00:17:08,630 --> 00:17:11,180
菲爾 菲爾 我的外套卡住了
Phil! Phil, my coat is stuck.
382
00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:12,930
-菲爾是誰(shuí) -不 別鬧了 認(rèn)真點(diǎn)兒
- Who's Phil? - No, not now! Seriously.
383
00:17:13,060 --> 00:17:15,220
-我的外套卡住了 -寶貝 快把外套脫掉
- My coat is stuck. - Oh, oh. Honey, take off your coat!
384
00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:17,640
-開(kāi)什么玩笑啊 快拔 -我的天啊
- Are you kidding me? Pull it. - Oh, my goodness.
385
00:17:17,730 --> 00:17:20,020
快拔 用力 用力
Pull it. Come on. Come on.
386
00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:22,190
天吶 這回完了 這回完了
Oh, boy. Not good. Not good.
387
00:17:24,110 --> 00:17:26,690
好了 好了 好了
Okay. Okay. Okay.
388
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:28,740
快上來(lái)吧 就當(dāng)是爬樓梯了
Come on up. Treat 'em like they're regular stairs.
389
00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:30,490
-沒(méi)事了 -快過(guò)去吧
- It's okay. - Come on through.
390
00:17:30,570 --> 00:17:33,030
情人節(jié)快樂(lè) 您真美
Happy Valentine's Day. You look lovely.
391
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,160
-您也美 我沒(méi)別的意思 -我懂
- So do you. Not in a weird way. - Yeah.
392
00:17:35,290 --> 00:17:36,870
-你好 嗨 -嗨
- How are you? Hi. - Hi.
393
00:17:36,950 --> 00:17:38,480
-情人節(jié)快樂(lè) -讓我來(lái)弄弄
- Happy Valentine's- - Let me just get in here.
394
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:39,250
讓我來(lái)弄弄
Let me get in here.
395
00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:40,420
-好的 -菲爾
- Okay? - Phil?
396
00:17:40,540 --> 00:17:42,130
-嘿 湯姆 -嘿
- Hey, Tom. - Hi.
397
00:17:42,210 --> 00:17:44,000
你好啊 親愛(ài)的
How are you? Honey
398
00:17:44,090 --> 00:17:46,480
克萊爾 還記得我同事湯姆·麥克森嗎
Claire, you remember Tom Mickleson from the office
399
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,810
-還有他妻子 蘇珊 -記得 你們好
- and his wife, Susan. - I do. Hey.
400
00:17:48,820 --> 00:17:49,590
你的外套卡住了嗎
Is your coat stuck?
401
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,220
是啊 卡得死死的了
It is. It really is. It's in there pretty darn good.
402
00:17:53,350 --> 00:17:54,630
何不脫下來(lái)呢
Why don't you take it off?
403
00:17:54,630 --> 00:17:57,600
我...覺(jué)得很冷
Um, I'm freezing cold.
404
00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,140
來(lái)吧 讓我試試
At least let me give it a shot.
405
00:17:59,270 --> 00:18:01,850
-不必了吧 -沒(méi)事沒(méi)事 看我的
- Oh, I don't think... - No, no, no. I got it.
406
00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:03,520
-鄧菲先生 夫人 -嗨
- Mr. And Mrs. Dunphy? - Hey.
407
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:06,180
-巴拉班校長(zhǎng) -你好啊
- Principal Balaban. - Hey, how are you?
408
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,800
克里夫·比克斯比是誰(shuí)啊
Who's Clive Bixby?
409
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,940
他是個(gè)推銷擴(kuò)音器的
Oh, uh, he makes speakers.
410
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,570
-他是來(lái)參加交易會(huì)的 -菲爾
- He's actually in town for a trade show. - Phil.
411
00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:16,140
天 你被卡住了嗎
My, are you stuck?
412
00:18:16,140 --> 00:18:17,870
是啊 有點(diǎn)兒
Yeah, I am. A little bit.
413
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,020
何不把外套脫了呢
Why don't you take off that coat?
414
00:18:19,020 --> 00:18:20,250
我怕冷
Um, I'm chilly.
415
00:18:20,330 --> 00:18:22,210
真是卡死在這兒了
It's really jammed in here.
416
00:18:22,330 --> 00:18:24,920
-讓我過(guò)去試試 我?guī)湍? -不必了 我們沒(méi)事
- Let me in there. I'll get you. - No, I think we're okay.
417
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,050
鄧菲太太
Mrs. Dunphy?
418
00:18:27,130 --> 00:18:29,260
開(kāi)什么玩笑啊
Are you kidding me?
419
00:18:29,340 --> 00:18:32,340
嗨 這位是盧克的數(shù)學(xué)老師 帕斯沃小姐
Hi! Luke's math teacher, Ms. Passwater.
420
00:18:32,430 --> 00:18:34,090
"拍死我"
"Passwater."
421
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,560
老杰 別在意他說(shuō)的
Ah, Jay, papi, don't pay attention to what he's saying.
422
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:39,810
他只是開(kāi)玩笑的
He's just being funny.
423
00:18:39,810 --> 00:18:41,490
但他說(shuō)的是事實(shí)
Because he points out the truth.
424
00:18:41,490 --> 00:18:44,130
觀眾們笑是因?yàn)樗麄円灿X(jué)得確實(shí)如此
Those people were laughing because they saw it too.
425
00:18:44,130 --> 00:18:46,170
-你干嘛在意他們?cè)趺聪? -我不在意
- What do you care what they think? - I don't.
426
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,780
我在意你怎么想
I care what you think.
427
00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:50,530
我愛(ài)你 你是我的愛(ài)人
I love you. You're my valentine.
428
00:18:50,530 --> 00:18:51,440
只是現(xiàn)在而已
Yeah, for now.
429
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:52,830
等我80歲了呢
But what about when I'm 80
430
00:18:52,830 --> 00:18:54,790
我坐在輪椅上 插著氧氣管
and I'm in a wheelchair, on oxygen?
431
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,380
你還會(huì)要我嗎
You still gonna want me?
432
00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:57,430
你以為我如此膚淺嗎
Do you think I'm so shallow
433
00:18:57,430 --> 00:18:59,220
你老了我就會(huì)拋棄你嗎
that I'm gonna leave you when you're old?
434
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,900
如果我胖了100磅 你會(huì)拋棄我嗎
What if I gain a hundred pounds? You gonna leave me then?
435
00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:06,180
-不會(huì) -你怎么猶豫了一下
- No. - What's with the pause?
436
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:07,800
你這假設(shè)不公平啊
Well, it's not exactly fair.
437
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,330
我變老是必然的 可你不一定會(huì)變胖
I mean, I have to get old. You don't have to get fat.
438
00:19:10,330 --> 00:19:11,820
要是我想變胖 就能變胖
If I want to get fat, I get fat.
439
00:19:11,820 --> 00:19:12,930
那好 如果你胖了
Okay, fine. And if you do,
440
00:19:12,930 --> 00:19:14,230
我也會(huì)守著你 不信你試試
I'll be there. You'll see.
441
00:19:14,230 --> 00:19:16,650
是啊 你看我怎么變胖
Yeah, watch me. Watch me, how I get fat.
442
00:19:17,730 --> 00:19:20,360
-我能變胖的 -那我也會(huì)守著你
- I can get fat. - And I'll be there.
443
00:19:22,180 --> 00:19:23,480
很好
Good.
444
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:26,100
-你還想回去看戲嗎 -不去了
- You wanna go back in? - No.
445
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:27,540
我有個(gè)更好的主意
I got a better idea.
446
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:31,060
我們?nèi)ヌ璋? 那家伙也不怎么有趣
Let's go salsa dancing. This guy's not that funny.
447
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:33,360
好極了
Perfect.
448
00:19:34,330 --> 00:19:36,540
好了 好了 我打給維修部了
We're good! We're good! I talked to Maintenance.
449
00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:39,230
他們 他們馬上就來(lái) 大家忙去吧
They're- They're- They're coming, so go on ahead.
450
00:19:39,860 --> 00:19:41,250
再見(jiàn) 回頭見(jiàn)吧
See you guys. See you later.
451
00:19:41,340 --> 00:19:43,380
學(xué)校里見(jiàn) 見(jiàn)到你們真開(kāi)心
See you in school. Good to see you guys.
452
00:19:43,470 --> 00:19:45,090
維修部的人會(huì)解決的
Maintenance is gonna take care of it.
453
00:19:45,220 --> 00:19:48,300
-我們得救了 -好吧 好吧 他們要多久才到
- So we're fine. - Okay. Okay, how long till they get here?
454
00:19:48,390 --> 00:19:50,390
我是騙他們的 沒(méi)人來(lái)救我們
I was faking it. No one's coming for us.
455
00:19:50,470 --> 00:19:52,820
那就去找人啊 快點(diǎn)兒
Well, then, go and get them! Hurry!
456
00:19:52,820 --> 00:19:55,270
此刻是我這輩子最糗的時(shí)刻
That was the most embarrassing moment of my life.
457
00:19:55,350 --> 00:19:57,310
克萊爾 菲爾
Claire! Phil!
458
00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:00,150
淡定
Stand by.
459
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:03,620
怎么了 腰帶卡住了嗎
What, did you get your belt stuck?
460
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,080
是啊 卡住了
I did. Yeah.
461
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,900
那把外套脫了唄 我?guī)湍惆?/p>
Take your coat off. Here, let me help you.
462
00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:08,740
-別別 老爸 我沒(méi)事 -得了吧
- No, no, Dad. Dad, I'm fine. - Come on!
463
00:20:08,820 --> 00:20:10,490
莫非你里面沒(méi)穿衣服嗎
What are you, naked under there?
464
00:20:11,950 --> 00:20:14,830
-我靠 -沒(méi)關(guān)系
- Aw, geez. - It's okay.
465
00:20:14,910 --> 00:20:17,290
-讓我來(lái)吧 -好吧
- I got this. - Okay.
466
00:20:17,370 --> 00:20:19,330
-克萊爾 照我說(shuō)的辦 -好的
- Claire, follow my lead. - Okay.
467
00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:22,210
好吧
Okay.
468
00:20:28,630 --> 00:20:30,380
-哇塞 -好了
- Wow. - Okay.
469
00:20:31,470 --> 00:20:34,370
-謝謝 -我以前也有同樣的經(jīng)歷
- Thank you. - It has happened to me before.
470
00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:37,270
她真有一手啊
That was impressive.
471
00:20:37,350 --> 00:20:39,060
克里夫 下次玩點(diǎn)正常的吧
Take it down a notch, Clive.
472
00:20:40,730 --> 00:20:42,940
-你還好吧 -嗯 挺好
- You okay? - Yeah. I'm good.
473
00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:44,310
-好吧 -我沒(méi)事
- All right. - I'm good.
474
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,110
-情人節(jié)快樂(lè) -情人節(jié)快樂(lè)
- Happy Valentine's Day. - Happy Valentine's Day.
475
00:20:46,230 --> 00:20:47,570
-再見(jiàn) -再見(jiàn)
- Chao. - Okay. See ya.
476
00:20:47,690 --> 00:20:48,860
再見(jiàn) 晚安
Bye. Good night.
477
00:20:48,990 --> 00:20:50,700
哎呀媽呀
Oh. That's-
478
00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:53,740
不好意思 再見(jiàn)吧
Sorry. See you, guys.
479
00:20:56,910 --> 00:20:58,490
喂 寶貝
Hi, honey.
480
00:20:58,580 --> 00:21:01,410
嗨 我就是想告訴你 你昨晚真棒
Hey, I just wanted to tell you how great you were last night.
481
00:21:01,540 --> 00:21:05,460
-菲爾 -對(duì)不起 我把油弄得到處都是
- Uh, Phil... - Sorry I got the, uh- the oil everywhere, but, hey"
482
00:21:05,590 --> 00:21:08,670
-親愛(ài)的 -幸好不是自家的床單
- Uh, sweetie. - They're not our sheets, right?
483
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,840
寶貝 還記得賣車的人怎么說(shuō)的嗎
Honey- Honey, remember when the salesman told us...
484
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,130
他說(shuō)"豐田塞納是適合全家人的車"
that the Sienna was built with the whole family in mind?
485
00:21:13,260 --> 00:21:15,470
全家人都聽(tīng)見(jiàn)你剛剛說(shuō)的話了
Yeah. Well, the whole family just heard that.
486
00:21:15,550 --> 00:21:18,100
囧 看來(lái)
Uh- Uh- Guess-
487
00:21:18,180 --> 00:21:20,140
看來(lái)藍(lán)牙對(duì)講挺好用的嘛
I guess the Bluetooth works.
488
00:21:20,270 --> 00:21:23,350
-嗯嗯 -你們用油干嘛
- Mmm. - Why did you have oil?
489
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,690
因?yàn)榘? 小弟 我們?cè)谧稣ㄊ項(xiàng)l啊
Because, buddy, we were making French fries.
490
00:21:26,770 --> 00:21:28,270
在你臥室里炸啊
In your room?
491
00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,940
要不你們播張DVD看吧
Why don't you guys just pop in a DVD?