811 The One With Ross’ Big Step Forward
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is looking around the shop as Phoebe returns from getting some more coffee.]
Rachel: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Rachel: Look at that guy by the window, wow!
Phoebe: He’s awfully short and I think he’s talking to himself. And to be completely honest, he’s not that good in bed.
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean it’s like every guy I see—I mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally that’s not someone I would-would be attracted too, but right now, with the way I’m feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Phoebe: Wait a second! This is about the forth month of your pregnancy right?
Rachel: Yeah.
Phoebe: This is completely normal, around the forth month your hormones start going crazy.
Rachel: Really?! So this has happened to you?
Phoebe: Oh absolutely yeah! Oh and keep in mind now, I was carrying triplets so in, y’know, medical terms I was-I was thrice as randy.
Rachel: Wow! This explains so much! Last weekend, I went from store to store sitting on Santa’s lap.
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, I remember trying to steal a cardboard cutout of Evander Holyfield from a Foot Locker.
Rachel: Ah.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Rachel: Well, y’know what? I go see my doctor tomorrow I’ll ask her about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something.
Phoebe: Yeah. Yeah, that’s what you need a good…pill.
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Mona enters.]
Mona: Hey! (To Joey) Hey!
Ross: Hi!
Mona: Hi! Look! I got our pictures developed from Rockefeller Center.
Ross: Oh great! Hey-hey Joey, do you want to check out pictures of me and Mona ice skating?
Joey: Oh uh, ordinarily I would love too, but I am just swamped right now. (Brushes something off of his shirt and looks around, but doesn’t move from his chair.)
Ross: Hey where-where are the pictures that creepy pretzel vendor took of us together?
Mona: Oh yeah, probably at the end. (Flips to the end.) Oh my God! He only took pictures of my breasts!
Joey: I’m missin’ picture time?! (Jumps over to look, Ross glares at him and he retreats.)
Phoebe: (sitting down next to Ross) Y’know she has a face Ross!
Mona: Okay. Okay, here’s a good one of us.
Ross: Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card y’know, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.
Mona: Y’know, every year I say I’m gonna send out holiday cards and I never do it. Do you wanna, do you wanna send this one out together?
Ross: (pause) Together? Like-like to people?
Mona: Yeah, y’know. Happy holidays from Mona and Ross. It’ll be cute, okay?
Ross: Okay. (Not happy about it.)
Mona: Oh, I gotta get to work. So call me later?
Ross: Uh sure, sure.
Mona: Bye guys.
Phoebe: Bye.
(Mona exits.)
Joey: (To Ross) Congratulations! You just got married!
Ross: I know. Can you believe that?
Phoebe: Wait, I’m-I’m sorry. What’s the big deal about a holiday card?
Ross: Married couples send out cards, families send out cards, people who have been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards! What-what is she crazy?!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, hey that’s your wife you’re talking about!
[Scene: Chandler’s Office, his boss Doug is entering Monica is there as well.]
Doug: Bing! Ho! And the Bing-ette!
Chandler: Honey, you remember my boss Doug right?
Monica: Yes, hi.
Doug: Hi. So good news, the divorce is final. I signed the papers this A.M.
Chandler: I didn’t know you and Carol were getting divorced, I’m sorry.
Doug: Sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap. Hey, congratulations to you guys though!
Monica: No leg chewing for us sir.
Doug: Oh well, give it time. So the divorce, the marriage, we’ve got a lot to celebrate. How about we all go out to dinner tomorrow night?
Monica: I can’t think of anything we’re doing. (Quietly) Why can’t I think of anything we’re doing?
Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!
Monica: Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow! (Doug exits.) Just so you know, we’re not seeing him tomorrow. (Chandler wonders why.) I-I cannot spend another evening with that man. Do you remember how he behaved at our wedding?
Chandler: No.
Monica: That’s because he wasn’t invited because of the way he behaved at our engagement party.
Chandler: Oh yeah. Boy, urine cuts right through an ice sculpture doesn’t it?
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, there’s a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.]
Mona: Hi!
Ross: Hey!
Mona: Hey, I went by the photo shop, take a look, here is a mockup of our card. What do you think?
Ross: Huh. Wow, this is great.
Mona: Now, do you think it should say, "Love Ross and Mona?"
Ross: Well, we-we haven’t said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people.
Mona: How many did you want? I’m getting a hundred.
Ross: A hundred?! Well, I-I guess I’ll take a—Mona, uh…I-I’m not sure about the whole uh, card thing.
Mona: Really? Why not?
Ross: Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just don’t know if we’re really quite there yet.
Mona: Oh y’know, I didn’t think of it that way. You’re right. You’re right. So, can I ask you a question?
Ross: Yeah.
Mona: Where are we?
Ross: Huh.
Mona: Y’know, like where are we? Where is this relationship going?
Ross: Hmm…
Mona: I mean I love spending time with you, y’know I just—I hope we’re moving forward. I mean, we should probably talk about that. Don’t you think?
(Pause.)
Ross: Let’s do the card!
Mona: What?
Ross: The card! I think we’re there!
Mona: Okay. I—But I think we should still have this conversation.
Ross: Really?! I mean, even with the card?
[Scene: Rachel’s Doctor’s Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Nurse: Hi!
Rachel: Hi!
Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long can’t be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.
Rachel: Oh, okay. Hey, can I ask you a question? Was it me, or-or was the guy who took my blood sample really cute? Y’know who I’m talking about, bald haircut, hairy fingers… (Stops when she realizes it was her.)
Dr. Schiff: (entering) Hi Rachel? I’m Dr. Schiff. (By the way, he’s an attractive man.)
Rachel: Yes, you are.
Dr. Schiff: So, how’s it going?
Rachel: Oh, really, really good. But enough about me, come on! Where-where are you from? What do you do?
Dr. Schiff: I’m a doctor.
Rachel: Right! Right! I-I actually meant in your spare time, do you cook? Do you ski? Or do you just hang out with your wife or girlfriend?
Dr. Schiff: Uh, I don’t have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski.
Rachel: Oh, I love to ski! How amazing is this?!
Dr. Schiff: So, are you experiencing any discomfort?
Rachel: No. I’m very comfortable.
Dr. Schiff: Any painful gas?
Rachel: No! Shoot, Dr. Schiff what kind of question is that?!
Dr. Schiff: Okay then, would you like to lie down on the table?
Rachel: Well would you like me to lie down on the table?
Dr. Schiff: I’m sorry, is there something going on here?
Rachel: Do you feel it too?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hi.
Phoebe: Oh hey! So, how did your doctor’s appointment go?
Rachel: Well, let’s see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.
Phoebe: Oh my God.
Monica: Why did you do that?
Phoebe: Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my forth month of pregnancy?
Monica: Oh yeah, the Evander Holyfield phase. Oh man you were so hard up you practically came on to me.
Phoebe: You wish.
Monica: Hey, I could’ve had you if I wanted you.
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Come and get it.
Rachel: Okay, even this is turning me on!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey how’s it, how’s it going with you and Mona? Are you guys still together?
Ross: Oh yeah, yeah we’re moving forward. You’ll be getting our card!
Monica: You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?
Ross: Yeah, we’re not just doing a card! Y’know, she-she also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going.
Phoebe: Ugh! Women!
Ross: I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?"
Rachel: Uh Ross? You asked me that.
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? I’m not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. I’m horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Y’know, something that says we’re moving forward without having to talk about it.
Monica: Like asking her to move in with you?
Ross: Smaller than that.
Monica: Making her a mixed tape?
Ross: Uh, bigger than that.
Phoebe: Give her a key to your apartment.
Ross: Whoa-hello! We were closer with the mixed tape.
Monica: All right. Have you said, "I love you?" You could say, I love you.
Ross: Yeah I-I don’t-I don’t think I’m quite there yet, but I could say I looove spending time with you.
Phoebe: No, we hate that.
Monica: That is a slap in the face.
Ross: Forget it. I-I—Y’know what? I’ll just have the conversation. I’ll just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
[Scene: Chandler’s Office, Doug is entering.]
Doug: Bing! We’re all set for tonight, 8 o’clock.
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we can’t do it. Monica has to work.
Doug: Oh, my ex-wife didn’t work, unless you call turning into her mother work. Fine. Tomorrow night then.
Chandler: Oh uh well tomorrow’s no good for her either.
Doug: Oh? Why not?
Chandler: It’s the semi-finals…of her…botchy ball tournament.
Doug: What’s going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something?
Chandler: Well now-now you’re just talking crazy.
Doug: So why can’t the three of us go out together?
Chandler: Because uh…we-we…we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold me.
Doug: Good God Bing I…well I can’t say I’m altogether surprised, I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at me, pure lust.
Chandler: Y’know what would really help me through this tough time is choking something. Can I choke ya?
Doug: Bing my boy, we’re gonna get you over this. Now here’s the plan, grab your coat, we’re going to a strip club.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, Monica would freak. (Doug looks at him.) But to hell with that bitch.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is getting Mona some coffee.]
Ross: Here we go. Mona umm, I think it’s time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us.
Mona: Yeah, I-I think I suggested that.
Ross: Aw, we-we are so…(Motions that they’re connected.) So umm, well I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, y’know hanging out with you. And I mean-I’m having a lot of fun. (He pauses and thinks there might but more, but decides there isn’t.)
Mona: Okay.
Ross: I mean, there’s no point in spending time with someone if-if it’s just fun. It’s gotta be, it’s gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! That’s-that’s the real question. And-and the answer is…is it’s going somewhere…fun. Now I-I know what you’re thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago y’know, but you’re-you’re not getting any younger. No I mean—No not you, not you, you—you are getting younger. I mean—you-you look like you’re getting younger by the second—What’s your secret?
Mona: I’m sorry, so umm, so where are we?
Ross: Well, well to sum up, we’re having fun, you look young.
Mona: Okay…
Ross: But that’s not enough. So… So…here’s a key to my apartment. (Hands her his key.)
Mona: Really?!
Ross: Really.
Mona: You don’t think this is too fast.
(Ross groans no.)
Commercial Break
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is telling Rachel and Monica about yet another mistake he’s made with a woman.]
Rachel: You gave her a key to your apartment?!
Ross: Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.
Phoebe: (entering with some guy) Hey. Ooh Ross! How’d the conversation go?
Ross: Oh great, I live on the street.
Phoebe: Where?! (Ross exits.)
Rachel: Hey!
Phoebe: Hi! Okay, Monica, Rachel, this is my friend Roger.
Roger: Hey everybody.
Monica: Hi Roger.
Phoebe: So umm, I’m gonna get us some drinks. (To Rachel) Would you help me out?
Rachel: Yeah. (They go into the kitchen.)
Phoebe: Umm, he’s here to have sex with you.
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: You’re welcome.
Rachel: Phoebe no!
Phoebe: It’s okay, he’s a virgin.
Monica: Rachel umm, I was just talking to this guy and I think he’ll have sex with you.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay let’s leave these two alone.
Rachel: No! I do not care what my hormones are doing, I am not going to just do it with some random guy!
Phoebe: Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this! (Phoebe exits.)
[Scene: A Strip Club, Doug and Chandler are there.]
Doug: Oh Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls. Huh?
Chandler: Oh that’s all right sir, and that’s just one girl.
Doug: Bing—What’s this?! (Grabs his hand.)
Chandler: It’s a hand. It’s a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder.
Doug: No, it’s a wedding ring. You gotta get rid of it. We’re gonna go to the East River right now and throw it in there!
Chandler: Oh no-no-no!
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, y’know I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, a locksmith has finished changing the locks on Ross’s door.]
Ross: Okay, and oh I’m gonna need a bunch of extra keys. Apparently I give them away for no reason at all.
Mona: (entering) Hey Ross, what’s going on? You changing the lock?
Ross: No. That guy is.
Mona: I don’t understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then you change the lock.
Locksmith: Good luck buddy. (Exits.)
Mona: Umm, I-I thought we were moving forward and now you’re-you’re sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me?
Ross: I’m trying to tell you I made you a mix tape.
Mona: What?
Ross: I love you!
Mona: Ohh! (Hugs him.) And I love spending time with you. (Ross isn’t happy.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is eating dinner as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hi honey I’m home.
Monica: From the tequila factory?
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldn’t give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Monica: Come here. I can breath throw my mouth.
Chandler: Y’know what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like It’s a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Monica: I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year?
Chandler: Ooh, I don’t know if we’re there yet.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is on the phone.]
Rachel: Yes. Hi, I’d like to order a pizza. Okay, can I ask you a question? Is-is the cute blond guy delivering tonight? Very Ambocrombie & Fitch. (Joey enters.) I’ll call you back.
Joey: Who was that?
Rachel: It’s just the pizza place.
Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I don’t hang up on your friends.
Rachel: I’m sorry honey, I’m just having a, having a rough day.
Joey: Oh, what’s wrong?
Rachel: Oh you really, you really just don’t want to hear about it.
Joey: Then why did I ask?
Rachel: Okay, it’s just—and this is really embarrassing—but lately with this whole pregnancy thing I’m just finding myself…how do I put this umm, erotically charged.
Joey: Is that college talk for horny?
Rachel: Yeah. So y’know, I have all of these feelings and I don’t know what to do about them, because I can’t date like a normal person, which is fine because I don’t need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, y’know? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what he’s doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so…hard…to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
Joey: Good, I uh, I saw a pretty big pigeon.
Rachel: Well, I gotta get up early and it’s almost seven o’clock.
Joey: Yeah, I gotta, I gotta go to my room to.
Rachel: Okay, good night!
Joey: Good night. (They both enter their rooms.)
(Pause.)
Joey: (entering) I can’t do it!
Rachel: (entering) I didn’t ask you to do it!
Joey: You’re Rachel!
Rachel: You’re Joey!
Joey: You’re my friend!
Rachel: Right back at ya!
Joey: But plus it would be wrong and weird and-and-and bad.
Rachel: And so bad. I don’t even know what you’re talking about because I didn’t ask you to do anything!
Joey: I know!
(Pause.)
Joey: Do you wanna do it?
Rachel: No!
Joey: All right, me neither! I was just testing you!
Rachel: That’s the end of this conversation!
Joey: This conversation never happened!
Rachel: Never happened! Good night!
Joey: Good night!
(They both go into their rooms and after a little while Rachel pokes her head into the living room.)
Joey: Get back in there! (Rachel re-enters her room and closes the door.)
Closing Credits
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, I’m sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasn’t right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think you’ll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? I’m gonna, I’m gonna want him back. So… (Looks at him longingly) I’m gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) I’m sorry, I thought I could do it and I can’t! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
End
嗨.
嗨,你認(rèn)為怎么樣?
新發(fā)型?
項鏈?
衣服?
靴子?
靴子!
是的!當(dāng)然了,比我平時買的靴子貴了一點, 嗯...
比房租還貴.
哦,天哪.
我知道.
我得為衣食發(fā)愁了.
我很抱歉,但它們實在迷人.
而且,那個售貨員看我的眼神就像我買不起它似的。
這才是你想買的主要理由吧.
- 嗨.
- 嗨.
哦,天哪.
哦, Monica. 這些鞋真有型!
當(dāng)然,也不看看誰買的。
是的,嗯,但可惜我們正要把它退了.
你要退了這靴子?!
小點聲! 它們會聽見的!
親愛的,我們別退,好么?
我是指,我知道買它太奢侈,但你同時也會天天欣賞.
除此之外,
我愛聽恭維.
你可曾有過什么東西,美麗到人人都想擁有嗎?
我有你.
干得好。我留下這靴子了.
F*R*I*E*N*D*S
810: Monica的靴子
Chinese Sitcom Site
https://www.cnsitcom.com
好的,我愛你...
我會整日和你玩耍.
你怎么可以讓他對你的胯部這樣說話?
他是在和小寶寶說.
噢,好吧!
好, '因為他說:我等不及聽你第一句話."
我想, "這是個騙局.",
好... 嗯,我得走了.
- 回見.
- 好.
- 再見.
- 再見
- 哦, hey, Rach, 聽著-- hi.
- Hi.
嗯,你能否幫我個忙?我曾和我妹妹說起過。
她知道你在Ralph Lauren上班--
算了吧-- 沒門-- 我再也不把Ralph Lauren賣給監(jiān)獄了,太浪費了.
不不,不是她,是我的最小妹妹, Deena--
她確是有志于時尚,想和些專家談?wù)劊媒o她些建議.
她可以和我的主管談?wù)?
不,不,不,她想和你談.
真的?
哦,老天!
我是專家.
那好,你愿見她么?
我愿意.
讓她到我辦公室.
謝謝。你會喜歡她的.
她是Tribbiani家的孩子里最聰明的.
你知道SATs(相當(dāng)于美國的高考)嗎?
是.
她通過了.
Hey, Ross,
Ben是不是在史密斯菲爾德日校上學(xué)?
是的,怎么了?
Sting(英國歌星)有個兒子也在那.
是,我知道。他和Ben一個班.
你為何知道這個卻從來不說?
還老跟我們講愚蠢的恐龍故事。
好,再也不提恐龍了.
我能說有關(guān)化石的話題嗎?
"Sting的兒子,七歲大,還有他的照片.
你在讀什么?綁架曼哈頓私人學(xué)校校童的指南?
不,是紐約雜志。有篇文章寫本市最好的學(xué)校.
嗯,你對Sting了解多少?
事實上我們從未碰過面.
阿哈,好.
真倒霉,我很想去看他周五晚上的演唱會,但票已售謦.
我知道!
你為何不與他見面....要點票!
若你拿到2張,我便帶你去.
嗯,事實上,我明日去接Ben,可能他在那兒.
那快去!
噢,你真走運,明天就能見到sting了.
你有孩子就為這個.
- Hey, 伙計們.
- Hey.
Hi, Monica.
Hi, 靴子.
看看, Chandler, 我?guī)缀跷锉M其用了。
它們很實用.
看,這雙靴子能搭配裙子和褲子...
你還可以穿得更短些,站在街角招攬生意.
哇,它們真漂亮.
它們真令我受傷!
什么?!
作鞋的家伙肯定跟腳有仇,恨不得殺了它們。
好,把它們給我,我數(shù)年來不知腳在何處.
我不能,我為它們花了大錢并告訴Chandler我會整日穿它們。我不能把它們送人.
嗯,那去退貨.
我也不能.
鞋底已磨損,里面也粘了我的血.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Hey,我從學(xué)校接了Ben.
Oh.
我不認(rèn)為你已做徹底.
我把他送到Carol家了.
還有,我覺得門票的事沒戲了.
噢,不!為什么?
嗯,因為Ben和Sting的兒子有矛盾.
怎么會?
明顯的, Sting兒子拿ben媽媽是女同性戀開玩笑
等等,但是,Ross,他們之間的矛盾你可以解決.
讓他們做朋友.
Phoebe, 你不能強(qiáng)迫小孩交朋友.
你行的。給他們些石頭,把他們關(guān)進(jìn)嬰兒圍欄.
嬰兒圍欄?Ben已七歲.
你孩子七歲了?!
看起來可不象.
求求你,一定要搞到票.
對不起, Pheebs.我做不到.
不,你可以的.
Sting自己說的.
什么?
Ross 可以!
聽著, 菲比-- 對不起,但只是--
Ross 可以!
Phoebe, 我...
Ross 可以。拿到我的門票!
Ross 可以給我門票!
她來了-- 未來時尚之星.
噢, Joey,我?guī)缀跻?-
我老妹Deena!
好的,hi, Deena. 很高興見你.
Hi. 謝謝你能見我.
Joey告訴我你的很多事.
這令她興奮.
好,我會讓你們兩個時... 進(jìn)入正題.
好... 好...
那好, Deena. 我們來談?wù)剷r尚的不同領(lǐng)域
先從設(shè)計說起吧--
但你需先到一定程度--
還是說說銷售吧,你會在旅行中接觸到...
我不關(guān)心時尚.
我懷孕了,
我知道你也是,所以你該幫我.
這就是行銷.
怎么了?
噢,不,沒什么... 我只是打呵欠.
噢,別忘記,我的辦公室聚會是今晚.
親愛的,我們不是真的要去吧?
甜心,我知道你不喜歡我的辦公室聚會
但你可以穿那雙新靴子.
聽著,每朵云
都有柔軟的皮襯底.
我今晚不想穿這雙靴子.
為什么?
是因為,我擔(dān)心你們老板看到這種高檔貨以后,會覺得你的薪水太高了.
或者被你助理看到了,她會跟你要求加薪.
你認(rèn)為我在靴子價格公司上班?
我要穿套裝
那鞋子和它們不搭配.
可是你說過,這靴子和任何服飾都能搭配.
好吧,如果你非讓我穿,那我就穿.
我先回屋打扮一下.
好.
Ooh-wee!
我的靴子里正在開圣誕晚會!
我不能去那.
我不能跟他說.
親愛的,一切將無事.
他曾超級支持我.
若他有一絲不爽,
這個三明治就可以派上用場.
謝謝.
Hey! 我的時尚妹妹來了!
怎么了?
寶貝,你為何不坐下?
Deena有事想告訴你.
Oh. 發(fā)... 發(fā)生了什么?
是有關(guān)老媽?她病了?
老爸的心臟病犯了?
那是個三明治?
Joe,咱爸咱媽都好.
那是個三明治?
Joey, 有些事你應(yīng)該知道.
Deena?
我懷孕了.
什么?!
現(xiàn)在-- 給他三明治!
嗯,明顯的,那是個錯誤.
你不經(jīng)性行為怎可懷孕.
Joe, 我嘗試像你一樣直到25歲才做.
什么?! Deena...
閉嘴!
我不敢相信!
你是好孩子!
上過大學(xué)!
雙倍時間!
誰干的好事?
Bobby Corso.
但他是個好人.
我很喜歡他.
他很搞笑.
你為搞笑獻(xiàn)身?
Deena,
若他搞笑,你只管笑就罷了!
我會馬上回來,你站在這兒.
為什么?你去哪?
我現(xiàn)在不想見你.
Wow.
我知道.
Oh, 是你, Ben.
Phoebe阿姨你來這干么?
嗯,我聽說你和一個同學(xué)發(fā)生問題。
所以我想來幫你們,讓你們平心靜氣解決.
現(xiàn)在,告訴我那孩子名字
Sting的兒子.
Jack? 我恨他。他是個變態(tài).
Ben,有些人外表看起來像變態(tài)
但他們有名人老爸.
我得走了.
我的朋友Doug 在那等我.
他是你的朋友.
打擾了.
何事我可效勞?
當(dāng)然。我在找Jack的父母.
你和哪位學(xué)生一起?
啊哈,我和Ben.
你是他的媽媽之一?
是的.
我是個同性戀.
敢跟父母承認(rèn)這一點并非易事.
嗯, hi,我是Jenny Boone.
我是這的新老師.
我只見過你的愛人Carol.
啊哈,那么我就是Susan.
好.
你在找Jack的父母以解決他和Ben的問題?
我也認(rèn)為家長們該在一起好好談?wù)?
對! 那就快干吧!
這... 這聽起來不錯。我們會坐下談.
就我,我的愛人,和sting.
嗯,那... 我該如何同他們接觸?
他們的號碼在聯(lián)系單上.
我能要一張么?
因為Carol弄丟了.
她向來都這么馬虎.
但當(dāng)她在床上時,卻總是集中精神.
這個聚會不賴吧.
是啊,我甚至不知道還有舞會.
那真是個搞笑的驚奇.
我沒見到任何車子.或許我們可以走路。
不,不,我們不能走路.
好像15區(qū)有地鐵,走.
Hey, 你認(rèn)為我們可否在這搭地鐵
若我們爬過下水道?
怎么了?
我不能走,知道么?
好吧,買這雙靴子是個大錯誤.
怎么了?
好吧,你對了行了吧。我不該買它.
它每次都弄傷我腳趾.
所以我對.
對的感覺......
有點奇怪的不安.
我們怎么回家?
也許你可以背著我?
上來.
好的,給我一秒,我得先脫鞋.
親愛的,我知你很痛
但我有些許勃起.
你可曾擔(dān)心你和寶寶走,他跌倒?
是什么大學(xué), Deena?
Oh,我的老天.
Bobby?
Hi, Deena.
高興見到你。
Joey, 你干嘛?
干應(yīng)干之事.
親密愛人,
我們在這里成為...
Joey, 太狂野了.
我和神說話時別打斷我.
我們到哪了?
好,你, Deena, 愿和這男的...
不!
Oh, 你要和他.
不,我不.
你不該這么說.
是的,我就是.
我聽到"我愿意."
我們已經(jīng)搞定一半了.
那好,你...
好, Joey ,夠了.
聽著,這個偉大的婚禮是不合法的?
他們沒結(jié)婚證也沒證婚人。
新郎也只有一只鞋.
是的,他脫了另一只拿它砸我.
Well,我該做什么?
你該做的是認(rèn)識到他們已成年,有能力做決定.
不,他們不.
他們蠢到不會避孕。.
Hey.
避孕套并非總有用.
對么?
嗯... 我們是那種什么不用的人.
拜托,小子,你就不能向著我說?
Wow. 這地方真不可思議.
Sting的筆...
他給Phoebe的.
噢,秘密入口.
Hi.
Hi.
我是Trudy.你必是Ben的媽媽.
否則我來這干什么?
- 請坐.
- 啊-哈.
我知道Jack和Ben最近有些矛盾.
對.
我相信兩邊皆有責(zé)任。
但我聽說是Ben有些怪怪的.
嗯,對不起。Jack爸爸不加入討論?
嗯,很抱歉他爸沒空.
嗯-嗯.
那我們可重訂時間,
周五晚,8:00左右怎么樣?
哦,恐怕不行。我老公那時正在開演唱會.
演唱會,對.
這真令我們進(jìn)退兩難
因為我演唱會前后都很忙碌。
他在此期間也顯然沒空.
那么,我想我們現(xiàn)在得談?wù)凧ack和Ben.
除非...
除非,嗯... 我很愿意去那演唱會.
當(dāng)然,在那期間我會一直考慮孩子們的問題.
你為門票而來?
謝謝。四張就好.
我不會給那些利用孩子的家長演唱會的門票.
Oh, 那太好了.
Ben并非我小孩.
聽著,我已按了無聲警報的按鈕.
警察隨時會來.
警察樂隊... 來這?
(Sting以前是警察樂隊的主唱)
樂隊重組了? Ooh.
Okay,已經(jīng)走過十個區(qū)了,
就剩五個區(qū)了.
Oh,等等,停,停.
Oh, 抱歉.
你需要休息么?
那是我的靴子,不過是棕色的,我能否靠近點看清價錢?
我從這都可見它.
它會花你一個丈夫.
那好,我很抱歉,我想我可在路上慢行.
給我靴子.
我沒拿你的靴子.
我也沒拿,它在哪?
你為何不檢查一下馬鞍,我也可以趁機(jī)吃點草.
我們回去拿它.
親愛的,你真要再穿那鞋?
我再也不想穿它.
我只想有機(jī)會說再見.
你可以向這雙棕色的說再見.
- 好,好吧.
- 好.
再見,靴子.
等等,半價?!
Joey, 他們不結(jié)婚不代表一切皆完,或許他們有計劃。.
Oh, oh, 聽聽他們的計劃.
現(xiàn)在,Deena和Bobby,你們對未來有何打算?
嗯...
我對我的樂隊期望值很高.
你說對了,此人真搞笑.
Hey, 等等.
我想,當(dāng)你告訴陌生人你要當(dāng)個演員時,他們一定也會笑話你.
來吧, Bobby ,對我說一些你樂隊的事。
就是我和老友Rooster.
樂隊叫休克瘋子.
真的?
Deena,
若你有小孩你就應(yīng)該結(jié)婚.
既使是和Bobby.
伙計,這并非贊美.
Joey, 我就知道你不會支持我.
那么,你該怎么做? 你準(zhǔn)備生下孩子自己養(yǎng)大? 沒老公?
你不能當(dāng)單身母親.
你將毀了自己.
嗯,對不起,我也毀了自己?
不,不,不,這和你不同.
你既強(qiáng)壯又合群.
不像有些笨小孩不知道自己在干什么.
對不起?
孕婦們一個接一個來好么.
我只是想你好.
強(qiáng)迫她嫁給Bobby會令她快樂?
有可能.
那么,休克瘋子唱何種音樂...?
嗯,算了吧.
Joey... 我對發(fā)生的這些怕的要死.
但我真的認(rèn)為我能處理,我只是需要些幫助.
而且Bobby將任何時刻來此.
我會.
回答你之前的問題
我們唱rap.
聽著, Rachel已經(jīng)告訴我,你是怎么對待她的.
你為什么不能用同樣的態(tài)度對待我呢?
因為... 因為...
因為你是我小妹妹.
你是我大哥哥.
我指,你是我世間最愛.
我不怕告訴父母.
只怕告訴你.
嗯,我也怕他們,但還好.
Joey, 我只是不能承受懷著孩子看你發(fā)火.
我希望他有個舅舅.
我的孩子會有Joey舅舅么?
當(dāng)然他會有Joey舅舅.
一切都會好的.
我指,就算我們不結(jié)婚孩子也有足夠的愛.
不是都來自父母.
對.
也來自他舅舅.
也來自你.
Bobby,我們何不到這邊來,讓他們單獨呆一段?
來吧.
靠,你有病啊?
你會為我發(fā)狂.
我搞到Sting演唱會的門票了!
Oh,上帝,我愛死你了!
從何得來?
嗯,只能說...
Ross 可以!
座位在哪??
中間的包廂.
你認(rèn)為那兒和Sting妻子或他的任何一個家人的距離有50碼遠(yuǎn)么?
是.
那沒有觸犯法律,我會在那!
牛過論壇·missingyou翻譯