日記不是治愈分手創(chuàng)傷的萬靈藥

WRITING about your feelings, a practice longembraced by teenagers and folk singers, is nowattracting attention as a path to good health. And arecent study suggests that reflecting on youremotions could help you get over a breakup. But,one of its authors says, journaling can have itsdownsides.

寫下自己的感想，這種長期被青少年和民謠歌手所采納的做法，目前正作為一種保持健康的途徑，吸引著人們的注意力。最近的一項研究表明，反思自己的情緒能幫你渡過分手時期。但是，論文的一名作者稱，記日記可能會產(chǎn)生消極影響。

Is structured self-reflection, as some suggest, a healthy tuneup for the heart and head — orcan it make hurt feelings worse?

有人建議進行有條理的自我反思，但這樣做會讓身心得到健康的調(diào)整——還是會讓受傷害的感覺更加強烈?

 

 

For a study published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, Grace M.Larson, a graduate student at Northwestern University, and David A. Sbarra, a psychologyprofessor at the University of Arizona, looked at self-reflection through a speaking exercise.They recruited 210 young people (they ranged in age from 17 to 29) who had recently brokenup with their partners, and then split this brokenhearted sample into two groups.

美國西北大學(xué)(Northwestern University)的研究生格雷斯·M·拉爾森(Grace M. Larson)和亞利桑那大學(xué)(University of Arizona)的心理學(xué)教授戴維·A·斯巴拉(David A. Sbarra)在《社會心理與人格科學(xué)》(SocialPsychological and Personality Science)期刊上發(fā)表了一篇論文，為此，他們通過自述對自我反思進行了研究。他們招募了210名最近與伴侶分手的年輕人(年齡從17歲到29歲不等)，然后把這些極度傷心的研究對象分成兩組。

One filled out a questionnaire on how they were feeling, then completed a four-minuteassignment in which they were asked to talk into a recording device, free-associating inresponse to questions like, “When did you first realize you and your partner were headedtoward breaking up?” This group repeated the same exercise three, six and nine weeks later.

其中一組需要填寫關(guān)于個人感受的調(diào)查問卷，然后再對著一臺錄音設(shè)備講話4分鐘，對于“你從什么時候開始意識到自己和伴侶即將分手”等問題，他們可以自由聯(lián)想。這組人在3周、6周和9周之后，重復(fù)了同樣的任務(wù)。

The second group filled out the questionnaire at the beginning and the end of the nine-weekstudy period (they did the speaking exercise only once, after filling out their finalquestionnaires).

第二組則在最初和為期9周的研究即將結(jié)束時填寫了調(diào)查問卷(他們只在填完最后的調(diào)查問卷后，做過一次自述)。

Ms. Larson and Dr. Sbarra found that the breakup sufferers in the first group experiencedgreater improvements in “self-concept clarity” than those in the second. Dr. Sbarra definesself-concept clarity as “the degree to which you understand yourself as a person.” He andMs. Larson measured it by asking subjects how much they agreed with statements like “I donot feel like myself anymore” or “I have regained my identity.” Much of our understanding ofourselves can be bound up in our relationships with our partners, Dr. Sbarra explained — and ifwe break up, it can be hard to answer questions like “Who am I?” or “Who are my friends?” or“How should I spend my time?” The speaking exercise helped people, he explained, because “itimproved their sense of self independent of their former partner.”

拉爾森和斯巴拉發(fā)現(xiàn)，與第二組因為分手而備受折磨的人相比，第一組人在“自我概念清晰性”方面有更大的改善。根據(jù)斯巴拉的定義，自我概念清晰性指的是“人對自身存在的理解程度”。他和拉爾森通過詢問研究對象對一些觀點的認(rèn)可程度，對這一點進行了評測。這些觀點包括“我覺得自己已經(jīng)不像自己了”和“我已經(jīng)找回了自我”等等。斯巴拉解釋道，我們對自身的理解在很大程度上可能都與我們和伴侶的關(guān)系緊密相關(guān)，所以一旦分手，像“我是誰”、“我的朋友都有哪些”或者“我應(yīng)該如何打發(fā)時間”這樣的問題，就往往會變得難以回答。他解釋說，自述能幫助人們，因為“它可以幫人們提高脫離于前情侶的自立感”。

That improved sense of self, in turn, led to reductions in loneliness and “emotional intrusion.”As for why the exercise worked, Dr. Sbarra has a few theories. “There is a degree ofhabituation that takes place as you are repeatedly thinking and talking about the process” of abreakup, he said. “You defang it a little bit.” And, he added, hearing yourself say something mayprove revelatory. He imagines a subject’s internal monologue: “I didn’t know I seemed to begetting better until I said I seemed to be getting better. I must be getting better.”

這種經(jīng)過提高的自我意識，反過來又能減少孤獨感和“情緒入侵”。至于自述為什么會起作用，斯巴拉有幾個推測。“隨著你反復(fù)思考和談?wù)摲质诌^程，就會產(chǎn)生一定程度的習(xí)慣化，”他說。“這樣會削弱它的影響力。”他還說，聽自己講述一些內(nèi)容，可能會具有啟發(fā)性。他想象研究對象的內(nèi)心獨白：“直到我說出自己似乎好些了，才知道我似乎真的已經(jīng)好些了。我一定要好起來。”

For people going through breakups without the benefit of psychology researchers to recordtheir thoughts, Dr. Sbarra says the study offers some insights. Getting back your sense of selfafter a breakup, he argued, is crucial: “You really need to figure out a way to pull yourself backtogether and to try to get some reorganization in terms of who you are, what you do, how youspend your time.” You may not need a recording device to do that — Dr. Sbarra believes thatyou might also be able to rebuild your self-concept by writing, “in a stream-of-consciousnessway, how you’re feeling about things.”

斯巴拉說，對于那些在分手后沒有心理學(xué)研究人員幫他們記錄想法的人，這項研究提供了一些啟發(fā)。他認(rèn)為，在分手后找回自我意識至關(guān)重要：“你真的需要找到一種找回自我的方式，試著對你是誰，你要做什么，你應(yīng)該如何打發(fā)時間等問題進行重組。”做到這一點，你或許并不需要錄音設(shè)備——斯巴拉認(rèn)為你或許也能通過寫作來重塑自我概念，“以一種意識流的方式來書寫你對事物的感覺”。

OTHER researchers see benefits from self-reflective writing beyond soothing post-breakuppain — and the practice is drawing media attention, too. At the news website Mic, Rachel Gratecites research by a team from New Zealand showing that writing exercises may aid woundhealing. She also quotes the psychologist James W. Pennebaker of the University of Texas atAustin: “When people are given the opportunity to write about emotional upheavals, theyoften experience improved health.”

還有一些研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)，進行反思式寫作除了可以緩解分手后的痛苦，還有其他好處，這種做法也獲得了媒體關(guān)注。在新聞網(wǎng)站Mic上，拉赫爾·格拉特(Rachel Grate)提到了一個新西蘭團隊的研究項目，該研究說明寫作聯(lián)系可能有助于創(chuàng)傷修復(fù)。她還引用德克薩斯大學(xué)奧斯汀分校(University of Texas at Austin)心理學(xué)家詹姆斯·W·佩內(nèi)貝克(James W. Pennebaker)的話稱，“當(dāng)人們有機會記錄自己的情緒波動時，他們的健康狀況通常會有所改善。”

According to James Hamblin at The Atlantic, a 2012 study found that writing improved qualityof life for breast cancer patients. Laura I. Miller at the website Bustle offers 12 reasons weshould all resolve to write more in 2015. And “if writing about the difficult parts of your lifewere a drug,” writes Drake Baer at Business Insider, “it would be making bank for some facelesspharmaceutical company.”

詹姆斯·漢布林(James Hamblin)在《大西洋月刊》(The Atlantic)雜志發(fā)表文章稱，2012年的一項研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，寫作的做法提高了乳腺癌患者的生活質(zhì)量。勞拉·I·米勒(Laura I. Miller)在Bustle網(wǎng)站撰文，列出了我們在2015年應(yīng)該決心記錄更多的12個理由。“如果記錄生活中的艱難時刻的做法是一種藥物，”德雷克·貝爾(Drake Baer)在商業(yè)內(nèi)幕(Business Insider)網(wǎng)站上寫道，“一些不知名的制藥公司就可以一夜暴富了。”

But if it were a drug, it might be one with a maximum recommended dosage — and warnings forcertain patients. In another study, Dr. Sbarra found that divorced people assigned to doexpressive writing exercises — essentially, exercises wherein they reflected on their feelings —showed no greater improvement in measures of emotional well-being than those asked towrite, without emotion, about what they did during the day. And subjects who tended toruminate on their situation actually did better if they were assigned to the emotion-free writing.

但如果這是一種藥物，它可能會設(shè)有最大推薦劑量——以及針對某些病人的警告。在另一項研究中，斯巴拉發(fā)現(xiàn)，與那些沒有情緒的、被要求記錄一天當(dāng)中的所作所為的人相比，被指派做表達性寫作練習(xí)的——基本上是記錄對自己的感覺的反思——離婚人士并沒有獲得更大程度的改善。當(dāng)那些傾向于反思自身情況的人被指派進行無情緒寫作時，他們實際上做得更好。

The prompts in the expressive writing study were more involved than those in the speaking-exercise one — instead of responding to simple questions, participants were asked to “reallydelve into your deepest emotions and thoughts” or to “work toward creating a coherent storyand narrative, with yourself as the storyteller.”

表達性寫作研究中的提示比自述研究的提示更為深入。它要求參與者“真正探索自己最深層的感受與想法”或“自己作為敘述者，努力創(chuàng)作一個連貫的故事”，而不僅限于回答簡單的問題。

“I think the expressive writing intervention at times can be too heavy-handed,” said Dr.Sbarra. “It can be too directive without allowing people’s natural coping tendencies to do whatthey’ve done over the course of evolutionary history.” And for some people, reflecting toomuch on their feelings can make things worse. “That’s the real danger of our journalingculture,” he added — diary writing isn’t “one size fits all.”

“我覺得表達性寫作這種干預(yù)手段有時會力度過大，”斯巴拉說。“如果不允許人采用自然的應(yīng)對機制，從事他們在演化過程中發(fā)展出來的慣用做法，那么這種手段就會指令性過強。”對于一些人來說，過度反思自己的感受會讓情況變得更糟。“這是日記文化真正的危險所在，”他還表示——寫日記的做法“并不適用于所有人”。

For many, the key may turn out to be some self-reflection, but not too much: writing aboutyour feelings, “but then not necessarily mulling over it or doing any more. Just write it, talkabout it, leave it, do it again.”

對于很多人而言，秘訣可能是一定程度上的自我反思，可是不要過多：記錄自己的感受，“但不一定要思前想后或做更多的事情。就把它記錄下來，聊一聊，然后遺忘，再來一遍”。

“There’s a really delicate balance between avoiding and getting overinvolved for every stressfulevent,” Dr. Sbarra explained, “and so you touch on it, you think about it, you put it out there,you reflect, and then you sort of create some distance.”

“實際上，對于每一個承受壓力的情境，在避免過分投入和過分投入之間存在微妙的平衡，”斯巴拉解釋稱，“你提到這種情緒，你去思考它，把事實擺在那兒，反思，然后就在某種程度上拉開了一些距離。”

So if you ever get a prescription for writing, it might read: Spend a little time with your diary— and then go for a walk.

因此，如果你得到了一張有關(guān)寫作的處方，它可能是這么寫的：花一點時間寫日記，然后出去走走。