雙語《園丁集》 我想對你說出我要說的最深的話語

41

I LONG to speak the deepest words I have to say to you; but I dare not, for fear you should laugh.

That is why I laugh at myself and shatter my secret in jest.

I make light of my pain, afraid you should do so.

I long to tell you the truest words I have to say to you; but I dare not, being afraid that you would not believe them.

That is why I disguise them in untruth, saying the contrary of what I mean.

I make my pain appear absurd, afraid that you should do so.

I long to use the most precious words I have for you; but I dare not, fearing I should not be paid with like value.

That is why I give you hard names and boast of my callous strength.

I hurt you, for fear you should never know any pain.

I long to sit silent by you; but I dare not lest my heart come out at my lips.

That is why I prattle and chatter lightly and hide my heart behind words.

I rudely handle my pain, for fear you should do so.

I long to go away from your side; but I dare not, for fear my cowardice should become known to you.

That is why I hold my head high and carelessly come into your presence.

Constant thrusts from your eyes keep my pain fresh for ever.

41

我想對你說出我要說的最深的話語，我不敢，我怕你哂笑。

因此我嘲笑自己，把我的秘密在玩笑中打碎。

我把我的痛苦說得輕松，因?yàn)榕履銜@樣做。

我想對你說出我要說的最真的話語，我不敢，我怕你不信。

因此我弄真成假，說出和我的真心相反的話。

我把我的痛苦說得可笑，因?yàn)槲遗履銜@樣做。

我想用最寶貴的名詞來形容你，

我不敢，我怕得不到相當(dāng)?shù)某陥?bào)。

因此我給你安上苛刻的名字，而夸示我的硬骨。

我傷害你，因?yàn)榕履阌肋h(yuǎn)不知道我的痛苦。

我渴望靜默地坐在你的身旁，

我不敢，怕我的心會跳到我的唇上。

因此我輕松地說東道西，把我的心藏在語言的后面。

我粗暴地對待我的痛苦，因?yàn)槲遗履銜@樣做。

我渴望從你身邊走開，我不敢，怕你看出我的懦怯。

因此我隨隨便便地昂首走到你的面前。

從你眼里頻頻擲來的刺激，使我的痛苦永遠(yuǎn)新鮮。