領英“十誡”

It has taken me 13 years and 414m people have got there before me, but last week I finally sat down to compose my summary for the networking site LinkedIn.The beauty of being such a late adopter is that all you have to do is find one person who has mastered this practically impossible form of composition and crib them.

不久前我終于開始認真地為社交網(wǎng)站領英撰寫我的個人簡介，此時領英已經(jīng)走過了13個年頭，已經(jīng)有4.14億人在我之前成為了會員。如此慢熱的好處是你只需要做一件事：找到一個精通這種實際上不可能掌握的文體的人，然后照搬一下。

My first stop was the summary written by a woman who I hope will soon be themost important in the world.Hillary Clinton's effort goes like this.

我首先點開的資料頁屬于一位我希望很快就能成為世界上最重要的人物的女性。以下是希拉里·克林頓的嘗試：

“Wife, mother, grandmother, women and kids advocate, FLOTUS, FLOAR, Senator, secretary of state, dog person, hair icon, pantsuit aficionado, 2016 presidential candidate.” Is this a spoof? Can the former FLOTUS really think her role as a grandmother （of which there are an estimated 35m in the US alone） is more interesting to LinkedIn members than her shot at the White House? And as for the dogs and trouser suits, I can see she is trying to seem humorous, but it doesn't work.I shan't be copying Mrs Clinton, but she has taught me my first two lessons：no jokes and stick to the point.

“妻子、母親、姥姥、女性和兒童擁護者，美國第一夫人、阿肯色州第一夫人、參議員、國務卿、愛狗人士、發(fā)型偶像、褲裝套裝狂熱愛好者、2016年總統(tǒng)候選人?！边@不會是個惡搞賬號吧？這位前美國第一夫人難道真的認為“姥姥”（僅僅在美國估計就有3500萬）這個角色比她白宮角逐者的角色更能引起領英會員們的興趣？至于狗和褲裝套裝，我能看出她是在努力顯得幽默，但效果不佳。我不會照搬希拉里的個人簡介寫法，但她教會了我頭兩條教訓：別說笑話，緊扣重點。

Next, I tried Reid Hoffman.As he founded LinkedIn, he really ought to know how to do it.His summary begins：“All aspects of consumer internet and software.Focus is on product development, innovation, business strategy, and finance, but includes general management, operations, business operations, business development, talent management, and marketing.” He lost me after a dozen words, but at least gave lesson three：don't be boring.

然后我試了試里德·霍夫曼。既然是他創(chuàng)立了領英，他當然應該知道怎么寫。他的個人簡介是這么開頭的：“消費者互聯(lián)網(wǎng)和軟件的各個方面。重點是產品研發(fā)、創(chuàng)新、商業(yè)策略、財務，但也包括綜合管理、運營、業(yè)務運營、業(yè)務發(fā)展、人才管理和市場營銷?！笨戳藥拙湮揖鸵活^霧水了，但他至少也讓我學到了一條教訓：避免乏味。

After that I hopped from one profile to another, and discovered that no one has a clue how to write one.Some summaries are maximalist, others minimalist.There is Arianna Huffington padding out an already long one with an entire paragraph listing every TV show she has ever gone on from Charlie Rose to The O'Reilly Factor.There is another lesson here：don't be self-indulgent.Bill Gates, on the other hand, keeps his short.

之后我從一個資料頁跳到另一個資料頁，發(fā)現(xiàn)沒人知道該怎么寫。一些個人簡介太啰嗦，其他的又太簡潔。阿里安娜·赫芬頓在原本就寫得很長的簡介后面加上了一整個段落，列出了她曾經(jīng)參加過的從《查理·羅斯訪談錄》到《奧賴利實情》的每一個電視節(jié)目。這又是一條教訓：不要自我陶醉。另一方面，比爾·蓋茨的個人簡介就很短。

“Co-chair of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.Chairman, Microsoft Corporation.Voracious reader.Avid traveller.Active blogger.” He teaches lesson five：you are only allowed to mention your hobbies if, like Mr Gates, you have made them your life.

“比爾及梅琳達·蓋茨基金會聯(lián)合董事。微軟董事長。如饑似渴的讀者。酷愛旅行的人。勤更新的博主?！彼虝宋业?條教訓：你只能在一種情況下提到你的愛好，那就是假如你像蓋茨一樣，已經(jīng)把愛好變成了你的人生事業(yè)。

Not only is there no agreement on length, nor is there any on something even more basic：first person or third? Almost all grand business figures go for third, pasting in their official bios：“Jack Welch is one of the world's most respected and celebrated CEOs, known for his unmatched track record of success, enormous love of people, fierce passion for winning, and unbridled desire to change the world for the better . . .” From the former head of GE, I extract lessons six and seven.The third person is too stiff for a social networking site.And bragging like this is not just flagrant, it is borderline fraudulent.Unmatched record? Enormous love of people? Says who?

不僅是在個人簡介的長度方面，人們在一些更基本的事情上也沒能達成一致：用第一人稱還是第三人稱？幾乎所有的商界大人物都選擇了第三人稱，在個人簡介里粘貼上他們的官方介紹：“杰克·韋爾奇是世界上最受尊敬和贊頌的首席執(zhí)行官之一，以無與倫比的功績、對人類的博愛、對取勝的滿腔熱情、對把世界變得更好的無盡渴望……而聞名?！睆倪@位前通用電氣掌門人身上，我吸取了第6和第7條教訓。在一個社交網(wǎng)站上使用第三人稱太生硬了。而且像這樣自吹自擂不僅明目張膽，近乎可以說是欺詐了。無與倫比的功績？對人類的博愛？誰說的？

David Cameron, by contrast, goes for the first person.“I became Prime Minister after the General Election in May 2010,” he begins simply enough, ending：“I am married to Samantha, and we have three young children, Nancy, Elwen, and Florence.”

相比之下，戴維·卡梅倫選擇了第一人稱?！拔以?010年5月的英國大選后當上英國首相，”他的開頭夠簡單的，結尾寫著：“我的妻子是薩曼莎，我們有三個年紀尚幼的孩子，南希、埃爾溫和弗洛倫絲?！?/p>

This establishes rule eight, which says you can only refer to your family on LinkedIn if you are the prime minister, in which case your luckless wife and children are part of the package.Otherwise, leave them out.

這就是第8條規(guī)則——只有一種情況，你可以在領英上提到你的家人：你是首相，這種情況下你不幸的妻子和孩子是跟你綁在一起的。否則請略過他們。

All these famous people have it easy as we know who they are already, while the rest of us have to try to stand out.Steven Burda, an unknown consultant, became the most connected man on the site in 2013 on the basis of a summary that said “I move mountains …One day I'll take over the world.Nothing is impossible for me.” This leads me to rule nine.A lot of people on LinkedIn must be twits.

這些名人的個人簡介都很簡單，因為我們已經(jīng)知道他們是誰了，其他人就不得不試著與眾不同一點了。一位名不見經(jīng)傳的咨詢師史蒂文·布爾達靠這樣的一份個人簡介成為了2013年領英網(wǎng)站上聯(lián)系人最多的人：“我能創(chuàng)造奇跡……有一天我會征服世界。對我來說沒有什么是不可能的?！边@教會我第9條規(guī)則。領英上肯定有很多人是笨蛋。

The only thing I'm sure about is the headline; I'm simply going to use my title at the FT.To anyone who thinks that is too dull, I direct them to the horror composed by a senior banker at Lloyds：“Shaper Planter with strong Adaptive Dealer behaviours”.

我唯一能夠確定的是頭銜；我準備就用我在英國《金融時報》的頭銜。如果有任何人覺得這太乏味，我想指引他們去領略一下一位勞埃德銀行資深銀行家恐怖的頭銜：“一臺具備高度適應性交易員行為的起壟播種機”。

As for the rest of it, I am still chewing my pencil.But that might be because I don't know what the site is really for.Some people use it to find jobs.Others use it to connect—but some don't even do that.Michael Dell ends his official third-person summary with the first-person plea：“Please do not request to connect with me unless we know each other or have worked together.”

至于其余部分怎么寫，我還在冥思苦想。但這可能是因為我不知道這個網(wǎng)站到底是干什么的。一些人用它來找工作。其他人用它來社交——但有些人連這個都不做。邁克爾·戴爾在官方口吻的第三人稱個人簡介后加上了一條第一人稱請求：“請不要請求加我為聯(lián)系人，除非我們互相認識或者曾經(jīng)共事過。”

For him the site isn't for connecting, but one-upmanship.In that case there is a better way of doing it—to steer clear.Declining to be on LinkedIn is a position occupied by the Queen, the governor of the Bank of England, Philip Green, Warren Buffett, the Pope, the editor of the Financial Times—and by a man I sincerely hope will not shortly become the most important in the world—Donald Trump.

對他來說，這個網(wǎng)站不是用來社交的，而是用來擺譜的。如果是那樣的話，還有一種更好的辦法——直接回避。拒絕注冊領英的有英國女王、英國央行行長、菲利普·格林爵士、沃倫·巴菲特、教皇、英國《金融時報》主編，還有一個我衷心希望不會很快成為世界上最重要的人物的男性——唐納德·特朗普。

詞匯總結

crib[kr?b]

n.（有欄桿的）小兒床;飼料槽;牛欄;剽竊，偷竊

vt.束縛，限制;為…設置木欄;剽竊

vi.抄襲;欺騙

The beauty of being such a late adopter is that all you have to do is find one person who has mastered this practically impossible form of composition and crib them.

如此慢熱的好處是你只需要做一件事：找到一個精通這種實際上不可能掌握的文體的人，然后照搬一下。

presidential candidate總統(tǒng)候選人

Wife, mother, grandmother, women and kids advocate, FLOTUS, FLOAR, Senator, secretary of state, dog person, hair icon, pantsuit aficionado, 2016 presidential candidate

妻子、母親、姥姥、女性和兒童擁護者，美國第一夫人、阿肯色州第一夫人、參議員、國務卿、愛狗人士、發(fā)型偶像、褲裝套裝狂熱愛好者、2016年總統(tǒng)候選人?！?/p>

voracious[v??re???s]

adj.貪婪的;如饑似渴的;貪吃的;渴求的

adv.貪婪地

Voracious reader.Avid traveller.Active blogger.

如饑似渴的讀者?？釔勐眯械娜恕Ｇ诟碌牟┲?p>