Well, uh... okay.
I don't want to get back together with Penny.
We tried it, it was crazy, it didn't work,but I can't deal with the fact that she slept with my friend Raj.
And then I find out that Raj's sister Priya, who I've been going out with for eight months, is moving back to India. So I'm just completely confused and alone.
I understand.
Yes. Buck up.
Excuse me. You're a world-renowned expert in parenting and child development,and all you've got is "Buck up"?
Sorry. Buck up, sissy pants.
Thanks, Mother. I feel much better.
If you need any more help from me,my books are available on Amazon. Logging off.
...ninety-nine, one hundred.
It's like a waterfall of liquid gold.
My turn.
You know, I don't even know what the point of me staying in L.A. Is. I haven't gotten a single acting job since I moved out here.
The closest I came was last month,I got a callback for a hemorrhoid commercial.
Oh, I could so see you being the face of hemorrhoids.
Maybe I should just move back to Nebraska.
No, I can't let you do that.
For the first time ever,I have a thriving social life. And no pressure,but it kind of lives and dies with you.
你好 艾米 我能和佩妮談?wù)剢?/div>
A guest in my trundle bed and a boy at my door?
我的滾輪床有人來(lái)睡 還有男生來(lái)我家
I wish I could tell 13-year-old me "It does get better."
我真想穿越回去告訴十三歲的我 "真的會(huì)好起來(lái)的"
How did you know I was here?
你怎么知道我在這里
It's all over her Facebook page.
她的Facebook上都寫(xiě)了
I'll take your stuff to the bedroom and clear out a drawer.
我把你的東西搬去臥室 然后給你謄出一個(gè)抽屜
Thanks.
謝謝。
No problem. Try and keep it in your pants, okay?
沒(méi)事 這次管好你的褲子 好嗎
So, hi.What's up?
你好 有事嗎
I was wondering if you're free Friday.They're having a Totally '80s Night at the Greek. Hall & Oates, Katrina and the Waves and three-fifths of Kajagoogoo.
不知道你周五有沒(méi)有空 周五在格里克有個(gè)八十年代之夜 有霍爾與奧茲二重唱 卡特琳娜 均是八十年代的音樂(lè)人和組合 還有卡加勾勾組合里的三個(gè)人
Oh Gee, that's really sweet, but the thing is...
這真的很不錯(cuò) 但問(wèn)題是...
Aw, there's a thing.
有問(wèn)題了
Look, honey, I was really drunk and made a huge mistake last night. We should've never slept together.It's what ruins friendships.
聽(tīng)著 親愛(ài)的 我當(dāng)時(shí)醉得很厲害 昨晚犯了個(gè)嚴(yán)重的錯(cuò)誤 我們絕不該發(fā)生這種關(guān)系 這會(huì)毀了我們的友誼的
You can't ruin a friendship with sex.
做愛(ài)是毀不了友誼的
That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.
就好像巧克力屑不會(huì)毀了冰淇淋一樣
Come here.Just listen to me. I want to go back to the way we were before.
來(lái)坐下來(lái) 聽(tīng)我說(shuō) 我想時(shí)光倒流 回到我們從前那樣
You know, friends.No sprinkles.
當(dāng)朋友 不放巧克力屑
Oh. All right.
哦!好吧
Thank you.
謝謝你
Well, as your friend, you might like to know that, um...
作為朋友 我要告訴你
we didn't have sex in the conventional sense.
傳統(tǒng)意義上來(lái)說(shuō) 我們沒(méi)有做愛(ài)
Oh, God.Did you pull some weird Indian crap on me?
天哪 你對(duì)我做了什么怪異的印度花樣嗎
No, no.
不 不是的
After we got undressed and jumped in bed,you-you asked if I had protection.
我們脫光衣服上床之后 你問(wèn)了我有沒(méi)有帶安全套
Oh, you did, didn't you?
哦 你一定帶了 是吧
Of course. I'm always packing.
當(dāng)然 我一向隨身帶著的
Anyway,um, I had trouble putting it on and you tried to help and...that was all she wrote.
總之 當(dāng)時(shí)我有點(diǎn)戴不上套子 你就想來(lái)幫我 然后就沒(méi)有然后了
So, we didn't actually...
所以 我們其實(shí)沒(méi)有...
I did.It was beautiful.
我射了 感覺(jué)很美妙
Oh!!
天啊??!
Penny, please, please promise me you won't tell anybody about this.
佩妮 求求你答應(yīng)我 不會(huì)告訴任何人
Of course I won't. No, I won't. Oh, good.
當(dāng)然 一定不說(shuō) 太好了
Um, can I tell people that our love burned too bright and too quickly? Kind of a "Candle in the Wind" deal?
我可不可以告訴別人 我們的愛(ài)燃燒太快 轉(zhuǎn)瞬即逝 就像"風(fēng)中之燭"那樣
Sure.
當(dāng)然可以
Cool. Can I say it fell apart because you were all "I want to have your babies" and I was like "I'm too rock and roll to be tied down"?
酷 我可以說(shuō)我們分手是因?yàn)槟阋恢比氯轮胍液⒆?而我覺(jué)得自己還要繼續(xù)流浪不能安定下來(lái)嗎
No.
不行
Can I say I ruined you for white men?
我可以說(shuō)因?yàn)槟闶前追N人 所以我甩了你嗎
Also no.
還是不行
Okay just the kindle thing... Yeah...
好,那就直說(shuō)“風(fēng)中之燭”…… 對(duì)……
Cool.All right... friend.
酷 好吧 朋友
I'll see you around.
回見(jiàn)
Okay.
好的
Raj, wait.
拉杰 等等
Thank you for being my friend.
謝謝你當(dāng)我朋友
Penny? enhuh?
佩妮 嗯?
It's getting beautiful again.
我又開(kāi)始覺(jué)得美妙了
All right, this is a Google Earth view of the field of battle.
好了 這是本戰(zhàn)場(chǎng)的"谷歌地球"畫(huà)面
I don't see anything.
我什么都沒(méi)看見(jiàn)
Give it a second to load.
等一會(huì) 在載入
Whenever you're ready, AT&T!
可以了吧 AT&T(美國(guó)電話電報(bào)公司)
Okay, here we go.This is us here.
好了 來(lái)吧 我們?cè)谶@
To the south is Professor Loomis and the Geology Department.According to their twitter feed, they're out of sunblock,which means they'll have to hug the tree line or risk melanoma.
南面是盧米斯教授和地質(zhì)系諸人 據(jù)其twitter記錄 他們沒(méi)防曬霜了 就是說(shuō)他們要不躲在林木線下 不然就有得黑色素瘤危險(xiǎn)
That's our edge.
這就是我們的優(yōu)勢(shì)
All we have to do is move quickly over this ridge,the rock-worshipping pasty-faced bastards won't know what hit them! All right, let's move out.
我們只需要快速穿過(guò)這個(gè)山脊 就能把這幫崇拜石頭 蒼白臉色的混蛋 出其不意地?fù)舻?好了 出發(fā)吧
Hang on, Sheldon.
等等 謝爾頓
How could you not tell me your sister was moving back to India?
你怎么能不告訴我 你妹妹要回印度
Maybe he was too busy writing clumsy penis metaphors about my fiance.
也許他當(dāng)時(shí)正忙著寫(xiě)關(guān)于我未婚妻的拙劣陰莖隱喻
Screw you.That was a beautifully written penis metaphor.
滾你的 那明明是絕妙的陰莖隱喻
You know what, guys, I'm not in the mood for paintball. What do you say we just bag it?
各位 我實(shí)在沒(méi)心情打彩彈球 不如我們直接當(dāng)逃兵吧
Fine with me. Sure whatever.
我沒(méi)意見(jiàn)。 好吧,隨便。
You can't quit. That's a court-martial offense. That's punishable by...
不能當(dāng)逃兵這樣是要交軍事法庭審判的罪行 可被判處...
You can't quit.
反正不行
Sorry, Sheldon, it's just not a good time for playing games.
抱歉謝爾頓 現(xiàn)在玩彩彈球游戲?qū)嵲诓皇菚r(shí)候
This is a game to you? Uh, was the Battle of Antietam a game? Huh? Was the sack of Rome a game?
你以為這是游戲嗎 安提耶坦之戰(zhàn)也是游戲嗎 美國(guó)南北戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)時(shí)期的著名戰(zhàn)役 羅馬被洗劫也是游戲嗎(歷史上 羅馬曾遭多次洗劫 )
Yes, no and no.
是 不是 不是
Wait.
慢著
I just want you all to know that I forgive you.
我只是想你們知道 我原諒你們了
This mutiny isn't your fault,it's mine.
這次叛變不是你們的錯(cuò) 是我的問(wèn)題
I haven't earned these bars.
我配不上這些兩道杠(軍銜)
Although what I lack in leadership, apparently I more than make up for in sewing.
顯然我的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)才能的不足 全彌補(bǔ)在縫紉技術(shù)上了
Let it go, Sheldon. I'll get you a Jamba Juice on the way home.
算了吧 謝爾頓 (原名堅(jiān)寶果汁)回家的路上我會(huì)給你買(mǎi)杯丈八果汁的
No. Jamba Juice is for heroes.
不要 丈八果汁是給英雄喝的
And that's what we're going to be.
所以我們要當(dāng)英雄
What are you doing?
你要干嘛
Following in the footsteps of Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo.
步柯克船長(zhǎng)和嘎嘣脆船長(zhǎng) 以及袋鼠船長(zhǎng)的后塵
Geology isn't a real science!
地質(zhì)學(xué)不是真正的科學(xué)
Damn those sons of bitches!Let's get 'em! Eat paint!
那幫混球太過(guò)分了 干掉他們 嘗嘗老子的厲害
If there's ever a Church of Sheldon,this will be when it started.
如果將來(lái)有謝爾頓黨的話 那應(yīng)該就是從此時(shí)開(kāi)始的
Ow!
哎呦喂
I'd like to propose a toast to the man whose noble sacrifice inspired our victory,Captain Sheldon Cooper.
讓我們?yōu)橛⑿叟e杯 正是他悲壯的犧牲 我們才能贏得勝利 感謝謝爾頓·庫(kù)珀上尉
Cheer Cheer
干杯 干杯
Excuse me. It's Major Sheldon Cooper.
抱歉 應(yīng)該是謝爾頓·庫(kù)珀少校
With my last breath, I awarded myself a battlefield promotion.
為了犒賞在沙場(chǎng)上的英勇 我用僅存的一口氣 給自己升了一級(jí)官
It's kind of a big deal.
這也算小有成就吧
Hi. You guys have a minute?
嗨 你們有時(shí)間嗎
Uh, yeah, sure.
當(dāng)然有
Okay.
好的
Well, I already talked to Raj,but I wanted to apologize to the rest of you for,you know, everything.
我已經(jīng)跟拉杰談過(guò)了 但是我想向你們其他幾個(gè)道歉 為之前的一切 道個(gè)歉
Please, Penny, let me.
拜托 佩妮 讓我來(lái)說(shuō)吧
We've decided to let our crazy, wonderful night together be just one of those memories you have and can call to mind when you're feeling blue or you're in the shower.
我們決定讓那晚既瘋狂又美好的春宵 成為大家心里的美好回憶 當(dāng)你們心情低落或洗澡時(shí) 可以拿出來(lái)回味一下
Hey, what you doing, Quick Draw?
你這是干什么 三分鐘先生(早泄王)
Sorry. Go on.
抱歉 您請(qǐng)說(shuō)
Anyways, I wanted you guys all to know that I've been taking a really hard look at things and come to the conclusion I have to stop kidding myself.
總之 我來(lái)是想告訴大家 我很認(rèn)真地審視了一遍自己 于是得出一個(gè)結(jié)論 我不能再自欺欺人了
I suck at acting.
我根本不會(huì)演戲
It's time for me to move back to Nebraska.
是時(shí)候卷鋪蓋回家了
You're leaving?
你要走嗎
Yeah.
對(duì)
What are you going to do in Nebraska?
你準(zhǔn)備回內(nèi)布拉斯加做什么
I don't know, maybe teach acting.
不知道 或許教表演吧
Oh, sorry. Hold on.Hello?
抱歉 稍等 你好
Penny, listen, I hope you're not doing this 'cause of you and me, because I have a girlfriend, and you're a single woman...
佩妮 聽(tīng)著 我不希望你是因?yàn)槲也抛叩?因?yàn)槲矣信严喟?而你只能孤芳自賞
Shh! It's my agent, it's my agent.
別吵 我經(jīng)紀(jì)人打來(lái)的
You're kidding.Oh, my gosh.I can't believe it! Really?!
你開(kāi)什么玩笑 天啊 我簡(jiǎn)直不敢相信 真的嗎
Oh, I'm so excited! Thank you so much. Okay, bye.
我太激動(dòng)了 非常感謝 好 再見(jiàn)
I got the hemorrhoid commercial!I start Monday!
我接了個(gè)痔瘡廣告 周一開(kāi)拍
What about Nebraska?
那內(nèi)布拉斯加呢
Oh, hell with Nebraska.I'm gonna be a star!
鬼才回內(nèi)布拉斯加 姐要當(dāng)明星啦
Have you ever thought of teaching physics?
你有考慮過(guò)教物理嗎
Ready to ride?
準(zhǔn)備要上馬了嗎
I don't think so, Mom.Not today.
恐怕不行 媽 今天不行
Oh, sweetie.
小寶貝
Hemorrhoids acting up again?
痔瘡又犯了吧
You don't know the half of it.
你不會(huì)明白我的痛
Oh, yes, I do.
不 我懂
Try a dab of this.
只需輕抹痛處一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)
Rose-scented Preparation-H for women?
女性專用玫瑰香型白宮痔瘡膏
Now, the "H" Is for "Her."
現(xiàn)在白宮的大門(mén)是專為你而開(kāi)
I'm proud of you.
我真為你感到驕傲
Shh! Here comes my joke.
別吵 到我抖包袱了
How you doing?
感覺(jué)如何
Sittin n pretty
爽快又自在(雙關(guān): 痔瘡沒(méi)問(wèn)題+騎馬很開(kāi)心)
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