生活大爆炸 第五季:第1集 佩妮庫(kù)薩帕里醉宿同屋(上)
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Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
《生活大爆炸》前情提要
My brother, he's got a big crush on Bernadette.
我哥哥 深深地暗戀著伯納黛特
You're moving back to India?
你要回印度嗎
What's going on?
這是怎么回事
It's-It's not what it looks like.
反正不是你們看上去的那樣
What does it look like?
那到底看上去像怎么樣
It's not what it looks like.
不是你們看上去的那樣
It's not what it looks like.
不是你們看上去的那樣
What are you grinding about?
你在碎碎念什么啊
Penny's brain teaser this morning.
佩妮今早留下的頭腦風(fēng)暴懸念
She and Koothrappali emerge from your bedroom.
她跟庫(kù)薩帕里 從你的臥室走出
She is disheveled, and Raj is dressed only in a sheet.
她衣衫不整 拉杰只裹了個(gè)床單
The sole clue: "It's not what it looks like."
唯一的線索只有"不是你們看上去的那樣"
Just let it go, Sheldon.
別糾結(jié)了 謝爾頓
If I could, I would, but I can't, so I shan't.
糾結(jié)不是我想停 想停就能停的
Now, knowing Penny,the obvious answer is, they engaged in coitus.
目前的信息表明佩妮 最明顯的答案當(dāng)然是兩人交媾了
But...
但是...
Since that's what it looked like,
鑒于那是"看上去的那樣"
we can rule that out.
我們可以排除這個(gè)可能性
Let's put on our thinking cap, shall we?
讓我們戴上智能帽子考慮一下吧 如何
Raj is from India, a tropical country.
拉杰來(lái)自印度 一個(gè)熱帶國(guó)家（智能帽子:澳大利亞思維中心研制的讓人更聰明的帽子）
Third World hygiene.
第三世界的衛(wèi)生條件
Parasitic infections are common, such as pinworms.
寄生病感染司空見(jiàn)慣 例如蟯蟲病
The procedure for diagnosing pinworms is to wait until the subject is asleep,
診斷蟯蟲病的步驟 就是等待直到宿主陷入沉睡狀態(tài)
and the worms crawl out of the rectum for air.
然后蟯蟲從宿主的直腸爬出來(lái)透氣
Yes, just like that.
沒(méi)錯(cuò) 正像你剛才那樣
Penny could have been inspecting Raj's anal region for parasites.
佩妮可能在觀測(cè)寄生蟲從拉杰的菊花爬出來(lái)呢
Oh, boy.
天吶
That's a true blue friend.
真是位稱職的藍(lán)顏知己啊
They slept together, Sherlock.
他們上床了 大神探
No, you weren't listening.
不 你沒(méi)認(rèn)真聽(tīng)
She said it's not what it looks like.
她說(shuō)了 "不是你們看上去的那樣"
She lied.
她說(shuō)謊了
Oh.
呃
Don't I look silly sitting here wearing this?
那我坐在這還戴著這東西豈不是弱爆了
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
我們的宇宙進(jìn)入了極熱的高濃度狀態(tài)，后來(lái)，140億年前它開始擴(kuò)張。等等……
The Earth began to cool,the autotrophs began to drool,neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids),
地球開始冷卻，自養(yǎng)生物開始繁殖,穴居人學(xué)會(huì)使用工具，我們開始建墻（我們還建了金字塔）
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!
數(shù)學(xué)、科學(xué)、歷史解開了宇宙之謎。這一切從宇宙大爆炸開始。
Hey!Hey!Hey!Hey!
嗨！嗨！嗨！嗨！
Leonard, is it awkward for you knowing that one of your dear friends had sexual intercourse with a woman you used to love in the very place you lay your head?
萊納德 現(xiàn)在對(duì)你而言 看到你的摯友跟你曾經(jīng)愛(ài)過(guò)的女人 就在你每天睡覺(jué)的地方交媾 是否覺(jué)得很尷尬
No, I'm fine with it.
不 我能接受
That sounds like sarcasm,
那聽(tīng)起來(lái)像諷刺啊
but I'm going to disregard it, because I have an agenda-- paintball.
但是我決定無(wú)視它 因?yàn)槲疫€有其他安排: 玩彩彈槍
Specifically, the interdepartmental tournament this weekend.
本周來(lái)點(diǎn)特別的 搞個(gè)不同部門間的比賽
In order to function better as a fighting unit,I thought we should establish a chain of command.
為了變?yōu)楦行实淖鲬?zhàn)小隊(duì) 我認(rèn)為我們有必要建立一個(gè)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)機(jī)制
Now, it goes without saying that I would outrank the three of you, but the question remains, by how much?
當(dāng)然自不待言 我的地位理應(yīng)高于你們?nèi)?但問(wèn)題在于 高多少呢
Now, I don't see me as some four-star general, back at HQ riding a desk
我認(rèn)為我不該充當(dāng)那種在指揮部桌前發(fā)號(hào)施令
and playing golf with the Secretary of Defense.
只會(huì)跟國(guó)防部打高爾夫的四星上將的角色
But I also can't be Sergeant Cooper,
但我也不能當(dāng)庫(kù)珀中士
because that might lead you to think of me as just a regular Joe.This might take some thought. As you were.
這可能會(huì)誤導(dǎo)你們 把我僅僅看成個(gè)小人物 這事兒可能需要?jiǎng)狱c(diǎn)腦筋 交給你們了
What the hell is wrong with you?
你到底有什么毛病啊
Yeah, how could you do that?
是啊 你怎么能這么做呢
What is it to you?
關(guān)你什么是？
I got his back.
我挺他。
Yeah, right. You're just jealous because it turns out I'm Penny's number two choice after Leonard.
是啊 你嫉妒我因?yàn)槭聦?shí)證明 我才是佩妮僅次于萊納德的第二選擇
Hey, if I wasn't engaged to Bernadette,that totally could have been me.
拜托 如果我沒(méi)跟伯納黛特訂婚 二號(hào)選擇完全可能是我
Please. Sheldon would have been before you, and he might not even have genitals!
拜托 謝爾頓都有可能在你之前 他說(shuō)不定連生殖器都沒(méi)有呢
Why do you care so much? You're dating my sister, and Penny and I are in love.
你為何這么在意啊 你還跟我妹妹約會(huì)呢 況且佩妮和我還相戀了
What?!
什么？！
Gentlemen, if I may interject,
先生們 容我插一句
I've decided my rank will be captain.
我決定我的軍階為上尉了
If it's good enough for Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo, it's good enough for me.
如果科克船長(zhǎng) 嘎嘣脆船長(zhǎng)和袋鼠船長(zhǎng)都能勝任此職 那對(duì)我而言也不錯(cuò)（嘎嘣脆船長(zhǎng):麥片品牌 袋鼠船長(zhǎng):美國(guó)某兒童節(jié)目主持人的稱呼）
You're not in love with Penny.
你沒(méi)有跟佩妮相戀
Yes, I am.
有 我有
The god Kamadeva has shot us with his flowery arrows of love.
偉大的天神迦摩天用他的愛(ài)之花箭射中了我們
Who?
誰(shuí)
He's the Hindu version of Cupid,
他是印度的丘比特
but way better, because he rides a giant parrot.
但他帥多了 因?yàn)樗T著一只碩大的鸚鵡
Raj, come on. You fall in love with any girl who smiles at you. A month ago, you were writing poems about his fiance.
拜托拉杰 哪個(gè)女孩子對(duì)你笑 你就會(huì)愛(ài)上誰(shuí) 一個(gè)月前 你還給他未婚妻寫情詩(shī)呢
I'm sorry. What?!
什么 他啥意思
Rubbish. He's talking rubbish.
胡說(shuō) 他胡說(shuō)八道
Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet.
哦 伯納黛特 請(qǐng)給我吹簫吧
That could have been about anyone.
那也可以是別人嘛
Besides, you have nothing to worry about,because now I'm the dusky half of Koothrapenny.
況且 你沒(méi)必要擔(dān)心 我現(xiàn)在是庫(kù)佩戀的主角之一
For the record, I do have genitals.
說(shuō)明一下 我有生殖器
They're functional and aesthetically pleasing.
不但功能強(qiáng)勁 而且外形健美
Oh. Coming.
來(lái)了
Yup, that's good.
說(shuō)到底
Wine glasses should have handles.
還是一醉解千愁
Keeping accurate track of your alcohol intake.
準(zhǔn)確記錄你的酒精攝入量
Smart idea considering how trampy you get when you've had a few.
鑒于你的酒后亂性程度 這么做很聰明
You heard what I did?
你聽(tīng)說(shuō)我干的事了
Well, I heard who you did.
我聽(tīng)說(shuō)你干了誰(shuí)了
Oh, my God,I screwed up everything.
老天吶 我全搞砸了
I hurt Leonard. I hurt Raj. I mean, what is wrong with me?
我傷害了萊納德 我傷害了拉杰 我真是有毛病啊我
I feel like two totally different people--Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Whore.
我感覺(jué)自己完全是兩個(gè)不同的人 原電影名為Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde（化娼博士）
Don't be so hard on yourself.
別太自責(zé)了
Do you know the story of Catherine the Great?
你知道凱薩琳大帝的故事嗎
No.
不知道
She ruled Russia in the late 1700s, and one night, when she was feeling particularly randy,she used an intricate system of pulleys to have intimate relations with a horse.
她是俄羅斯 18世紀(jì)后期的統(tǒng)治者 一天晚上 她感覺(jué)性欲特別強(qiáng) 她用一個(gè)復(fù)雜的滑輪系統(tǒng) 跟一匹馬發(fā)生了親密關(guān)系
I'm... I'm sorry.What does this have to do with me?
不好意思 這跟我有什么關(guān)系
She engaged in interspecies hanky-panky,and people still call her "Great."
她跟不同物種發(fā)生過(guò)關(guān)系 但人們依然尊稱她"大帝"啊
I'm sure your reputation can survive you shagging a little Indian boy.
我相信你的名譽(yù)不會(huì)因?yàn)?一個(gè)小印度男而毀掉的
You jerk face!
你個(gè)不要臉的東西
What did you tell Howard?!
你跟霍華德說(shuō)什么了
Did you say there was something going on between us? Because he thinks there is! He's completely freaking out!
你跟他說(shuō)我們之間有奸情是不是 他現(xiàn)在就是這么想的 他整個(gè)人都抓狂了
Please, come in.
請(qǐng)進(jìn)
What the hell is wrong with you?!
你這人有毛病啊
Well...You were always so nice to me, I thought maybe you liked me.
你總是對(duì)我這么好 我以為你喜歡我嘛
I'm nice to everyone!
我對(duì)誰(shuí)都這么好啊
I'm sorry!
對(duì)不起！
Damn right, you're sorry!
沒(méi)錯(cuò) 你是對(duì)不起我
And you tell Howard there's never been anything between us!
你去跟霍華德說(shuō)我們之間 沒(méi)有任何曖昧之情
I will. Hey, Bernadette?
我會(huì)的。嘿，伯納黛特？
What?!
干什么？
Do you think I have a shot with Penny?
你覺(jué)得我和佩妮有機(jī)會(huì)嗎
Of course you do. You're a cutie pie! Any girl would be lucky to have you!
當(dāng)然啦 你那么可愛(ài) 哪個(gè)女孩子遇到你真是三生有幸啦
You know, I've done this before.
你知道嗎 我以前就犯過(guò)這種錯(cuò)
In kindergarten,I was supposed to marry Jason Sorensen at recess,but by the time my class got out there,he was already engaged to Chelsea Himmelfarb.
在幼兒園的時(shí)候 我本來(lái)要在下課期間嫁給杰森·索倫森 但等同學(xué)們都出來(lái)的時(shí)候 他已經(jīng)和切爾西·辛莫法訂婚了
So what did I do?
知道我怎么做嗎
Hung upside down from the monkey bars, let all the boys see my underpants.
我倒吊在猴架上 讓全部男生看我的內(nèi)褲
You can't blame yourself.
你不能責(zé)怪自己
When your prefrontal cortex fails to make you happy,promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of dopamine.
當(dāng)你的前額皮質(zhì)無(wú)法使你開心時(shí) 濫交能給你帶來(lái)大量所需的多巴胺
We neurobiologists refer to this as the "Skank reflex."
我們神經(jīng)生物學(xué)家稱之為"下流反射"
You know what? Let's get out of here.
這樣吧 我們出去玩
Where are we going?
我們?nèi)ツ耐?/div>
Somewhere where no one's seen me naked.
去沒(méi)有人看過(guò)我裸體的地方
We may have to drive awhile.
可能得開一會(huì)車才行
Subtlety isn't her strong suit, is it?
聰敏就不是她的強(qiáng)項(xiàng) 對(duì)吧
Can I stay at your place for a few nights?
我能去你家睡幾晚嗎
Really? A best friend sleepover? Yay.
真的嗎 閨蜜來(lái)過(guò)夜 好嘢
Yeah, sure. Yay!
當(dāng)然 好嘢
We'll make popcorn, stay up all night and I'll teach you my secret language, Op.
我們弄點(diǎn)爆米花 玩他個(gè)通宵 我會(huì)教你說(shuō)我的密語(yǔ) 表嗷話
Sounds "Gop Rop E A Top."
應(yīng)該是聽(tīng)上去"表嗷錯(cuò)噢"
Yeah, I'm gonna go pack a bag.
好吧。我去打包一下東西。
No, you're not.You're gonna "Pop A Cop Kop A Bop A Gop."
不你不是。你是去"收個(gè)表嗷噢"
Do we really have to wear this camouflage crap to play paintball?
我們真要穿這蠢爆了的迷彩服去打彩彈嗎
Who said that?
誰(shuí)在說(shuō)話
Leonard, I can hear your voice,but I can't see you.
萊納德 我能聽(tīng)到你 但看不到你
I'm not in the mood, Sheldon.
我沒(méi)那心情 謝爾頓
Oh, there you are!
哎呀 你在這啊
Leonard,I know you're upset about recent events, and I have someone here to help.
萊納德 我知道你為最近的事不開心 所以我找了人來(lái)幫你
I don't want to talk to Amy.
我不想和艾米說(shuō)話
No, it's not Amy.
不 那不是艾米
Hello, dear.
你好 寶貝兒
You called my mother?
你叫了我媽
Oh, Leonard,is it really necessary to caption the obvious?
萊納德 這么明顯的事實(shí)非要說(shuō)出來(lái)嗎
He's been like that since he was a toddler.
他還是小孩時(shí)就這樣了
Look, Mommy-- a butterfly.Maddening.
看呀 媽咪 一只蝴蝶 真鬧心
What's going on? What do you want?
怎么了 你有什么事
Sheldon informed me that you're experiencing an emotional upheaval,and I'm here to help.
謝爾頓告訴我說(shuō) 你正在遭遇感情上的劇變 所以我來(lái)幫忙
That's so nice.
你真貼心
And we're back to the obvious.
這不又是明擺著的么
