聽美劇學英語_生活大爆炸第四季 第10集 (下)

My blood work shows thyroid function normal. Cortisol levels normal.

How about your follicle-stimulating hormone levels?

Sheldon, I am not going through menopause.

Are you sure? You said that with the testy bark of an old biddy.

I think we need to face the cold, hard truth: I was sexually aroused by Penny's friend Zack.

Hang on. I don't know that we've given the alien parasite hypothesis a fair shake.

Let's look at this logically. I have a stomach; I get hungry. I have genitals; I have the potential for sexual arousal.

A cross we all must bear. You know, in difficult moments like this, I often turn to a force greater than myself.

Religion?

Star Trek. Did you see Star Trek: The Motion Picture?

No. Don't. It's terrible. However... in it, we learn that when Spock finds himself drawn off the path of logic by feelings bubbling up from his human half, he suppresses them using the Vulcan mental discipline of Kolinahr.

Are you suggesting we live our lives guided by the philosophies found in cheap science fiction?

"Cheap science fiction"?

What are you doing?

Using Kolinar to suppress my anger at that last comment.

Is it possible that your concern for me at this moment is motivated by nothing more than simple jealousy?

I hadn't considered that. Give me a moment. All right, I've considered it.

And?

I reject it.

You reject it because you don't feel jealousy, or because you are suppressing jealousy?

I think I'll eat my lunch at home.

That's not your lunch, Sheldon; those are the cadaver brain specimens.

As they were incorrectly sliced, you can see how I could mistake them for my sashimi.

Hello.

Hi, it isn't tomorrow you use the laundry?

The supermarket was out of my regular fabric softener. If this one under-or over-softens, I'll need time to make things right.

That's thinking ahead.

The alternative would be to think backwards. That's just remembering.

So how's Amy?

Amy's changed. I might have to let her go.

Oh, no. Why?

I thought she was a highly evolved creature of pure intellect, like me. But recent events indicate that she may be a slave to her baser urges. Like you.

Just going to skip over that insult.

What insult?

Yeah! That's why I'm going to skip over it. Are you saying that Amy is... oh, what's the scientific word...

Forget science. She's horny. Oh! Okay. Wow. It's simple biology. There's nothing I can do about it.

Are you sure?

What are you suggesting?

I'm suggesting there might be something you could do about... Amy's urges?

It's illegal to spay a human being.

Yeah. That's not what I had in mind.

You mean... something I could do. Exactly. Well, I was hoping to avoid this. But I might as well get it over with. Thank you, Penny. I'll let you know what happens.

Oh, Amy, you lucky girl.

Yes. This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Is this the Zack Johnson who used to have coitus with my neighbor Penny? Sorry to bother you. Hello. I'm looking for a Zack Johnson who used to have coitus with my neighbor Penny. Coitus. It means intercourse. And I have a feeling I'm speaking to the right Zack. This is Sheldon Cooper. Fine. Shelly. Yes, that does sound like a girl's name. No, it doesn't bother me. Yes, "Smelly Shelly" does bother me. Let me tell you why I'm calling. I'd like to know if you'd be interested in having sex with Amy Farrah Fowler. Amy Farrah Fowler. Yes, that is a girl's name. Good grief. It's like trying to talk to a dolphin.

Really? This is going to decide who's the hero and who's the sidekick?

You got a better idea?

Every idea is better than this idea.

Ding!

Wait.

What the hell is "ding"?

It's a bell.

I don't think this kind of wrestling has a bell.

Fine. How do you want to start? I say, uh, how about one, two, three, go?

One-two-three-go? That's for babies.

Okay, how about, uh... on your mark, get set, go?

That's for a footrace. If you want to race, we have to go outside.

No, it's chilly outside. Didn't bring my jacket.

Oh, for crying out loud. What kind of superhero needs a jacket?

What kind of superhero says, "Dibs on the red tights!" "Dibs on the red tights!"

All right, how about this? Ready, wrestle.

Wait. Are we starting now? Or is that what you're going to say when we do start, or...

We're starting now! Don't yell at me!

Suppose there are worse ways to spend a Friday night. None come to mind.

Look at this stamp. On what authority are they permitted to mutilate patrons as they enter?

I'm sure it'll wash off.

Little comfort tonight. I look like a Hell's Angel.

There's Zack.

Are you sure this is what you want to do?

It's not what I want to do; it's what I have to do.

Go, Amy Farrah Fowler. Follow your endocrine system.

Thank you, Sheldon. You're a good friend.

Please don't drag this out.

This is never going to come off.

Excuse me? Zack, I am Amy Farrah Fowler. We met the other night.I have spent my life in pursuit of pure knowledge. Until I met you, my decisions were founded in logic and reason And yet here I stand before you, 130 pounds of raging estrogen, longing to grab hold of your gluteus maximus and make Shakespeare's metaphorical beast with two backs.

My gluteus what?

On the other hand, as I look at the blank, ape-like expression on your face, I have decided to adopt the Vulcan practice of Kolinar. Good-bye, Zack.

Bye.

Hoo. That should hold me for a while.

I'm legally obligated to inform you that I took a karate lesson when I was 11. I'd be a regular ninja by now if my mom could've arranged a carpool.

Oh, yeah? Well, I've been taking Pilates class at the rec center, and my abs look like sections of a Hershey bar.

Oh, yeah? Won't matter, you're going down!

No, uh-uh, you're going down!

If anybody's going to go down, it's going to be you.

Fellas. It's been 30 minutes. Nobody's touched each other.

I'm glad you decided to reject your animal hindbrain and return to the realm of pure intellect.

As am I.

What are you doing?

An experiment. Nope. Nothing. Never mind.

You realize you can't win.

I prefer to think that I can't lose.

You're wrong. It's only a matter of time before you fall into Rat-Man's rat trap.

You pathetic fool! If there were a rat-catcher, wouldn't it catch Rat-Man?

Just because I didn't express myself well doesn't mean my underlying point was invalid! You bloviating buffoon!

You narcissistic nincompoop! You crimson coward!

Oh, Leonard, wake up, you're missing some very excellent superhero quips.