Well, how many people have ordered DVDs and haven't pay for them.
有多少人訂了DVD又不付錢的呢
If...
要是
I guess I could stop by my way to school.
我去學(xué)校的路上應(yīng)該有時(shí)間繞一下的
Really really important thing.
非常非常重要的事
Cheryl? Can I call you back?
綺麗兒 我待會(huì)打給你
Okay. Great. Bye.
行 好的 再見(jiàn)
- Yes? What? - Hey, yeah...
-好了 什么事 -那個(gè)
I was going through your drawer in the bathroom
我剛才仔細(xì)檢查了浴室你的抽屜
looking for some lip stuff because my...
找一些唇膏什么的因?yàn)槲业?/p>
Lips were dry.
嘴唇干了
- God, you know me. - Phil...
-天吶 你真了解我 -菲爾
Remember the spa certificates we got
還記得我們?cè)趦和t(yī)院拍到的
- at the children's hospital auction? - Mm-hmm.
溫泉療養(yǎng)券嗎-當(dāng)然
Well, look at this -- they expire tomorrow.
看看 明天就要到期了
Oh, wow. What are you gonna do?
那你要做什么
Claire, I don't think you're grasping the magnitude
克萊爾 我覺(jué)得你沒(méi)有意識(shí)到
of this package, valued at over $250.
這一套服務(wù)的價(jià)值 這可值兩百五十多美元呢
- Sweetie... - If you don't use them,
親愛(ài)的-如果你不用它
then all our money just goes to charity.
那慈善機(jī)構(gòu)就白拿我們的錢了
And so what am I supposed to do?
那我要怎么做
Somewhere between dropping off Alex at orchestra
在管弦樂(lè)隊(duì)放下艾麗克斯
and picking up Luke from practice --
再照慣例去去接盧克
oh, and burning a bunch of dvds of the talent show,
還燒制一堆才藝表演的DVD的日程之間
I'm gonna, what, pop in for a quick salt scrub?
難道我要跑去做個(gè)礦物鹽磨砂
I thought Cheryl was doing the DVDs.
我以為綺麗兒要燒制DVD呢
Well, she's supposed to,
是的 本來(lái)是她
but somehow she's got me doing it.
但她就是把這活塞給我了
Here's what you do.
你應(yīng)該這樣說(shuō)
Say, "Cheryl, no can do today.
就說(shuō) 綺麗兒今天我不行
Need a little 'me time.'"
我需要一點(diǎn)屬于自己的時(shí)間
Have you met Cheryl?
你見(jiàn)過(guò)綺麗兒?jiǎn)?/p>
That'll be my new nickname.
那就會(huì)變成我的新綽號(hào)的
I'll be Claire "Me time" Dunphy.
就叫克萊爾·私人時(shí)間·鄧菲
It's not worth the headache.
這可太不劃算了
Just say you're sick.
那就說(shuō)你病了
Then I run into her, and it'll be a whole thing.
然后萬(wàn)一我突然撞見(jiàn)她了 那不就徹底穿幫了
Well, if that happens,
好吧 要是真那樣的話
you say you're on your way to the pharmacy to --
你就說(shuō)你去藥店
Phil, darling, no, not helping.
菲爾 親愛(ài)的 行不通的
Fine. I'll give them to Florence Gunderman at work.
好吧 我送給同事弗洛倫斯·剛德曼
Her hands look gross ever since she took up the banjo.
她每次彈班卓琴的時(shí)候我都能看見(jiàn)她龜裂的雙手
Hey, mom, I need some money for lunch.
老媽 我要點(diǎn)錢吃午飯
We're all gonna go to --
我們要去
Oh, my god! Take off my sweater!
天吶 把我的線衫脫下來(lái)
Mom, tell her to take it off!
老媽 叫她脫下來(lái)
Alex, take it off.
艾麗克斯 脫下來(lái)
Last week, she wore my sweatshirt without asking.
上周 她問(wèn)都沒(méi)問(wèn)就穿了我的運(yùn)動(dòng)衫
That is true.
沒(méi)錯(cuò)
Oh, please -- that was an honor
拜托 那可是抬舉
for your stupid old sweatshirt.
你的破運(yùn)動(dòng)衫
It was the first time the top half got any exercise.
那是它第一次感受胸部的形狀
Now, mom, that's my favorite sweater!
老媽 那是我最愛(ài)的線衫
I just got it.
我剛買的
You know what you girls need to learn to do?
你們知道你們這些女生要學(xué)什么嗎
You need to learn to share,
你們要學(xué)會(huì)分享
because that's what sisters do.
因?yàn)槟遣攀墙忝迷撟龅?/p>
All right, Haley, nothing's gonna happen to your sweater.
行了海莉 你的線衫不會(huì)怎樣的
Right, alex?
是吧 艾麗克斯
Hmm?
是吧
Okay, fine.
行 行
Then I will just go put on your favorite nerdy T-shirt,
那我就去穿件你最喜歡的書呆子T恤
上面有"回到未來(lái)"的那件
The one with the guy from "back to the future" on it.
《回到未來(lái)》:美國(guó)科幻片
That's Albert Einstein!
那是阿爾伯特·愛(ài)因斯坦
And it is not nerdy!
而且一點(diǎn)也不書呆子氣
Well...
好吧
Hi!
你好啊
Hey, daddy. How was the farmers' market?
老爸呀 農(nóng)貿(mào)市場(chǎng)怎樣呀
Well, it was great, but guess what the new spinach is.
是不錯(cuò) 但猜猜 新品種菠菜是什么
Um, radicchio?
菊苣嗎
Kale.
甘藍(lán)
No!
不是吧
I know. I was just as blown away as you are.
我懂 我當(dāng)時(shí)跟你一樣凌亂
Oh, well, I guess we're going to have to adopt --
好吧 我想我們要采用...
yay --
耶
a new attitude towards kale.
新的態(tài)度看待甘藍(lán)了
Maybe we'll even adopt a new vinaigrette.
可能也要用新的香料
Adopt, yay!
用起來(lái)用起來(lái)
Okay, what's going on here?
好啦 看看這里怎么啦
I'm taking the negative charge
我在運(yùn)用收養(yǎng)的
out of the word "Adopted." Yay.
另一層含義 懂嗎
What did Oprah do now?
奧普拉這回又說(shuō)什么了
Well, she had a girl on
這樣的 她有個(gè)女兒
who, at 16, found out that she was adopted
十六歲的時(shí)候發(fā)現(xiàn)自己是收養(yǎng)的
and felt betrayed, ran away, and became a stripper --
她覺(jué)得被背叛就跑了 最后變成了脫衣舞女
and not the heart-of-gol kind, the by-the-airport kind.
還沒(méi)在黃金地段 而是機(jī)場(chǎng)周邊的那種
Okay.
好
行了 你盡情評(píng)論吧 朱迪法官
All right. Go get your gavel, Judge Judy.
《朱迪法官》:美國(guó)對(duì)社會(huì)熱點(diǎn)案件的直播節(jié)目
No, not at all. I'm adopting
不 完全不是 我接受了
A tolerant attitude toward your flights of lunacy.
大人不計(jì)小人過(guò)
Adopting!
接受[還有領(lǐng)養(yǎng)的意思]
Alex, come on. Hurry up.
艾麗克斯 快點(diǎn) 快點(diǎn)
The later we are,
我們?nèi)サ脑竭t
the more Cheryl texts me to do.
綺麗兒就會(huì)發(fā)短信叫我做更多的事
I'm coming, I'm coming.
我來(lái)了 來(lái)了
Tell me again why the violin just wasn't you.
再跟我說(shuō)說(shuō)這小提琴為什么不跟你一樣
It's too happy.
它太高興了
Oh, my god!
天吶
Okay, hang on. Hang on. Hang on.
行了 別動(dòng)別動(dòng)別動(dòng)
Let's see. It might not be a big deal.
我看看 應(yīng)該沒(méi)什么事
Just -- here we go. Let's see.
來(lái)吧 我來(lái)看看
- Oh, okay. - Is it bad?
好吧-很糟嗎
No, it's gonna be fine. You're gonna be okay.
沒(méi)事 沒(méi)事的 你沒(méi)事的
Oh, honey.
親愛(ài)的
Hey, I forgot my phone.
我忘帶手機(jī)了
Hi.
你好啊
What?
干嘛啊
Nothing. I love you.
沒(méi)事 我愛(ài)你
So weird.
古里古怪的
You better not spill anything on that, okay, dork?
你最好別濺什么東西在上面 知道嗎 呆子
Relax. Half the 11th grade's been inside this sweater.
放輕松 這毛衣結(jié)實(shí)著呢
More than anything
更重要的是
I want my girls to stop fighting and be close.
我希望我的女兒們不要吵架 親近一點(diǎn)
I want them to share clothes and do each other's hair
我希望他們互相分享衣服 互相做發(fā)型
and gossip about boys --
說(shuō)說(shuō)男孩子的緋聞
like I used to do with Mitchell.
就像以前我跟米奇爾那樣
Gloria! Let's go, let's go, let's go!
歌洛莉亞 走吧 我們走吧
Hey, Jay, have you noticed a spring in my step?
杰 你有沒(méi)有注意到我走路跳躍了一點(diǎn)
Oh, kids say cruel things.
童言無(wú)忌
That doesn't mean you'll turn out that way.
那也不代表你就是那樣的
No. We have something in common.
不是 我們有相似之處
I'm seeing a younger woman.
我在和一位小美眉約會(huì)
How much younger are we talking about?
那是有多小
13 months. Her name's Chloe.
十三個(gè)月 她叫克羅伊
She makes me feel like a 5th grader again.
她讓我感覺(jué)自己又是五年級(jí)了
Good for you, kid.
真替你開心 孩子
Hmm. There they are -- my two dirty old men.
都在啊 我的兩個(gè)糟老頭
Hey, pretty soon you're gonna be north of 40
拜托 你很快就四十好幾的人了
and I'm gonna have to trade you in for a newer model.
我都打算用個(gè)更靚的模特?fù)Q掉你了
Am I right, buddy?
對(duì)不 兄弟
That's my mother, Jay.
那是我老媽 杰
You ready?
準(zhǔn)備好了嗎
It's such a beautiful day. Why do we have to do this?
這么好的天 我們?yōu)槭裁匆欢ㄒ菢幼?/p>
Because when this thing is behind us,
因?yàn)檫@事辦好了
It's done and we never have to think about it again.
就完事兒了 我們就沒(méi)有后顧之憂了
Come on.
來(lái)吧
I went to a funeral last Saturday, and it got me thinking
我上周六去了個(gè)葬禮 我就開始考慮
about where Gloria and I were gonna end up after we die.
我和歌洛莉亞死后的要葬在哪里
Yeah, it's been a fun week.
可不是 這一周過(guò)得可真太有意思了
I don't like loose ends.
我不喜歡虎頭蛇尾
So I made a few calls.
所以我打了幾個(gè)電話
I found these people selling a couple of primo plots
發(fā)現(xiàn)在有人在城里最好的墓地
in the best cemetery in town.
出售幾塊風(fēng)水寶地
Not that I'm gonna go there anytime soon.
并不是說(shuō)我就快入土了
Don't be so sure...
別那么肯定
with all the bacon that he eats.
看看他平時(shí)吃的那些培根
Well, got to give my cholesterol pills
行了 我吃降膽固醇的藥
something to do.
總要有點(diǎn)用處吧
Mm. I don't care how much they promote it,
我不管他們是怎么促銷的
kale is a garnish.
甘藍(lán)是配菜
It's not ready to anchor a meal.
無(wú)法獨(dú)挑大梁的
Look at this.
看看這個(gè)
Oh, my god! Lily's little hat
天啊 是我們?cè)谠侥蠙C(jī)場(chǎng)
that we bought her at the airport in Vietnam.
給莉莉買的小帽子
Remember how cute she looked in that?
還記得她戴著有多可愛(ài)嗎
Remember how I used to wear it
還記得我還曾經(jīng)戴著它走來(lái)走去
and walk around and act like I had a giant head?
表現(xiàn)出好像我有個(gè)巨大的腦袋嗎
Mm-hmm. That was good acting.
你是實(shí)力派
So, what are you doing?
你在干什么
I'm putting together a little scrapbook
我在將領(lǐng)養(yǎng)莉莉的過(guò)程
of how Lily became ours.
做成剪貼簿
You know, her adoption certificate,
她的領(lǐng)養(yǎng)證明
some pictures of her from her village --
他們家那個(gè)村的幾張照片
All out in the open, so she has nothing to be ashamed of.
全部開誠(chéng)布公 這樣她就不用覺(jué)得羞恥了
You leaving that on all day?
你還想著這事兒呢
You know, and I'm also gonna write a little storybook --
我還要寫本小故事書
you know, something I can read her at bedtime.
我可以給她當(dāng)睡前故事講
It's called "Two monkeys and a panda."
就叫"兩只猴子和一只熊貓"
She's the panda because she's Asian.
她是亞洲人 所以她是熊貓
- And we're monkeys because... - I can draw monkeys.
我們是猴子是因?yàn)?我只會(huì)畫猴子
Okay, well, I think this is a great project,
我覺(jué)得這是個(gè)絕妙的計(jì)劃
and I believe you are gonna finish it.
我相信你一定會(huì)完成的
- Oh, my god. - What?
天啊-怎么了
Lily's adoption certificate.
莉莉的領(lǐng)養(yǎng)證明
- Her name is "Lily Tucker Pritchett." - Right.
上面寫的是莉莉·塔克·普里契特-對(duì)
Not "Tucker-Pritchett" like it's supposed to be.
而不是"塔克-普里契特" 應(yīng)該是這個(gè)才對(duì)
First name -- "Lily." Middle name -- "Tucker."
名"莉莉" 中間名"塔克"
Last name -- "Pritchett."
姓"普里契特"
Well, that can't be right.
那肯定不對(duì)啊
This is a legal document!
這可是法律文件
She only has your last name.
她冠的是你的姓
M-m-my name is just a middle name!
而我的姓就只是她的中間名
Stay calm. Don't get upset.
冷靜 別難過(guò)
Nobody knows anyone's middle name!
沒(méi)有人會(huì)知道別人的中間名的
- Quick -- what's my middle name? - Scott.
-快問(wèn)快答 我的中間名是什么 -斯考特
Of course you know mine. We're a couple!
你當(dāng)然知道我的啦 我們可是一對(duì)
Okay, look, t-this is obviously a mistake.
這明顯是弄錯(cuò)了
But you're the one who filled out this paperwork.
但表格是你填的
You don't make mistakes like this.
你不會(huì)犯像這樣的錯(cuò)誤的
You correct mistakes like this.
一般都是你來(lái)改正像這樣的錯(cuò)誤
You did this on purpose.
你是故意的
What?
什么
You buried my name,
你把我的名字藏起來(lái)
so your name could have top billing.
你的姓就可以獨(dú)霸鰲頭
Okay, no, I am not gonnsit here and listen
我才不要聽(tīng)你指責(zé)我
to you accuse me of something so horrible!
做了這么過(guò)分的事情
It makes so much sense now --
現(xiàn)在全都說(shuō)得通了
Why you wanted to fill out all these legal forms.
為什么所有法律文件你都想填
Okay, well, I'm a lawyer!
我是個(gè)律師
I fill out all the legal forms,
所以我填寫所有法律文件
ever since you signed up for a 12-year gym membership!
從你簽了一個(gè)12年的健身會(huì)員開始就這樣了
The more you spend, the more you save!
會(huì)員時(shí)間越長(zhǎng) 省的就越多
All the women I work with are too busy to use the certificate.
我所有的女同事都沒(méi)時(shí)間去用那張溫泉券
So I called the spa
所以我給溫泉那邊打了電話
and asked them to extend the expiration date.
希望他們能延長(zhǎng)那張券的有效期
But they said no.
但他們拒絕了
Really?
真的要這樣么
Here's something they didn't count on.
他們可真是打錯(cuò)算盤了
You mess with Phil Dunphy, the claws come out.
你和菲爾·鄧菲過(guò)不去 你就要吃不了兜著走
You have very nice hands.
你的手很好看
Soft like lady's.
像女人的手一樣柔軟
Thank you, Kim. I appreciate that.
謝謝你金 聽(tīng)你這么說(shuō)我很高興
My wife never seems to notice.
我妻子就好像從未注意過(guò)
This is it! Ta-da!
就這里了 嗒噠
What is ta-da?
嗒噠什么
I'm just saying this is it. Ta-da.
我就是說(shuō)就在這里了 嗒噠
Ta-da is when you do a flip
嗒噠一般是當(dāng)你按動(dòng)了開關(guān)
or where the magician cuts the pretty lady in half,
或者魔術(shù)師把個(gè)美女一切兩半時(shí)說(shuō)的
not when you show someone
而不是當(dāng)你給別人展示
where you want to shove their dead body.
你想把他們的尸體塞進(jìn)一個(gè)什么地方時(shí)說(shuō)的話
I'm not gonna argue the proper use of "Ta-da."
我才不和你爭(zhēng)論"嗒噠"的正確用法
This is it.
就在這里了
Seriously? In the file cabinet?
你認(rèn)真的么 在這么一堆柜子里面嗎
It's called a crypt.
這叫教堂墓穴
And how are you not getting how great this is?
你怎么會(huì)不懂其中的妙處
We're four down from Bugsy siegel.
我們身處在豪情似海中的古堡中
No. I'm not going into any wall.
不 我才不要葬在有墻壁的地方
I'm going in the ground.
我會(huì)長(zhǎng)眠于地下
Sorry, not me.
對(duì)不起 我才不要
There's enough to not like about death
我才不要死后
without adding dirt and worms.
還要和泥土和蟲子相伴
The whole thing gives me the willies.
那會(huì)讓我心里一陣陣發(fā)毛
You die, you go to the ground.
你死了 就應(yīng)該被埋在地下
Is natural. You go back to the earth.
這是自然法則 塵歸塵 土歸土
Here, you're just a mushy bag of bones
在這里 你就是一袋骨頭
rotting away for all eternity!
永遠(yuǎn)都在腐爛
Sorry for your loss.
請(qǐng)您節(jié)哀
Can we get the hell out of here?
我們能趕緊從這出去了嗎
What am I supposed to tell the guy?
我該和那個(gè)人怎么說(shuō)
Tell them we don't want our bodies
告訴他們我們才不希望在死后
inside these drawers where god cannot find us!
待在這樣上帝無(wú)法找到我們的小抽屜里
These are not like our drawers at home.
這和咱家的抽屜可不一樣
People can find things in these.
人們可以在這些抽屜里面找到東西
I'm thinking of getting bangs.
我想弄個(gè)劉海
Ooh, you totally should.
你絕對(duì)應(yīng)該弄一個(gè)
You would be so cute with bangs.
你要是有劉海 肯定很美
- You have the face for it. I don't.
-你的臉型很適合留劉海 我就沒(méi)有
Oh, there's my better half.
應(yīng)該是我老婆
Kim, would you mind?
金 介意幫我接一下嗎
Hey, honey. Where are you?
親愛(ài)的 你在哪里
Oh, I'm on my way to Downey.
我在去唐尼的路上
Oh, uh, did you know
你知道嗎
Karen and richard carpenter grew up in Downey?
卡倫和理查德·卡朋特夫婦是在唐尼長(zhǎng)大的嗎
What random and not-helpful fact, Phil.
你說(shuō)這事有意義嗎 菲爾
I'm sorry. I'm -- I'm having kind of a rough day.
對(duì)不起 我今天過(guò)得不太順
Yeah, I'm kind of having a rough day myself.
我過(guò)得也不是很順利
Look, Phil, I need you to take care of dinner for me.
菲爾 你得幫我做晚飯了
What's wrong?
怎么了
Oh, Alex ripped Haley's favorite sweater,
艾莉克斯弄破了海莉的線衫
and now I'm driving around from store to store,
現(xiàn)在我就奔波在商店之間
trying to find the exact same one before Haley finds out.
試圖在海莉發(fā)現(xiàn)之前給她再買件一模一樣的
Don't do that. Just explain to her what happened.
不用啊 跟她說(shuō)一下發(fā)生了什么就行了
Haley's not gonna understand.
不行 海莉不會(huì)理解的
- Sure, she will. -- No, phil, you don't understand.
她當(dāng)然會(huì)了-不菲爾 你不明白
I'm trying to avoid this turning into a whole big thing.
我只是想大事化小
Then just get her something close.
那就給她買件相似的就成啊
She'll never know the difference.
她又看不出來(lái)
Phil, could you just take care of dinner, sweetie?
菲爾 就記住做晚飯好嗎親愛(ài)的
That's all I'm asking. That's it.
我就這么點(diǎn)要求 沒(méi)了
I'm just saying, there's a simpler way to do this.
我只是想說(shuō) 有更簡(jiǎn)單的解決方式
There is no simpler way. Just make dinner!
沒(méi)什么更簡(jiǎn)單的方式 記得做飯
Thank you.
謝謝
Hello?
喂
What?
怎么了
Mr. Pritchett...
普里契特先生
We're the rutledges,
我們是魯特萊齊的人
the ones selling the spots.
就是給你賣墓穴的人
hi.-hi.
你好-你好
Oh, my gosh. Look, honey.
天啊 看看親愛(ài)的
I hadn't heard. Martin is in.
我都沒(méi)聽(tīng)說(shuō) 馬丁住進(jìn)來(lái)了
Well, look at that.
瞧瞧啊
- I'm sorry. Is that a friend of yours? - We've made a point
-不好意思 那是你的朋友嗎 -我們只是
to get to know everyone in the neighborhood.
想認(rèn)識(shí)"左鄰右舍"的人而已
We think it makes it less awkward, you know, later.
我們覺(jué)得 之后如果在那邊遇見(jiàn)不會(huì)那么尷尬
Oh, I'm sorry. This is my wife, Gloria.
對(duì)不起 這位是我妻子 歌洛莉亞
I'm Ed, and this is my bunk.
我是艾德 這里就是我的位置
And this is my loving wife
這位是我可愛(ài)的妻子
and devoted mother of three, Winnie.
為三個(gè)孩子日夜操勞的母親 維尼
She'll be here.
她會(huì)在這里
I don't know what our lineup is yet.
我還不知道我們要怎么排
But at home,I sleep on the right side.
但在家的時(shí)候 我睡在右邊
So probably there.
所以也許在那里
We don't mean to be rude,
請(qǐng)恕我們無(wú)禮
but you seem to be much younger than your husband.
但你看起來(lái)好像比你丈夫年輕很多
You're not rude. I'm very much younger.
您不算無(wú)禮 我是年輕很多
Is that a problem?
有問(wèn)題嗎
Well, it's just that there's a good chance,
只是很有可能
uh, you'll be moving in long before she would.
你會(huì)比她早很久進(jìn)來(lái)
Our concern is, your wife remarries,
我們關(guān)心的是 一旦你妻子改嫁
and wants to be laid to rest with her new husband.
而她想又和新丈夫葬在一起
So she sells this spot to the highest bidder.
她就會(huì)把這個(gè)位置高價(jià)賣出
And we're left lying next to a complete stranger,
我們就要和一個(gè)陌生人做鄰居了
without even so much as a formal "How do you do?"
甚至連個(gè)形式上的招呼都不會(huì)和我們打
Gloria, tell them you're in.
歌洛莉亞 告訴他們你不會(huì)這樣
I don't know, Jay. I think they have a very good point.
我不知道 杰 我覺(jué)得這確實(shí)是個(gè)問(wèn)題
And they're not crazy at all.
而且他們一點(diǎn)也不荒唐
What do you mean they have a good point?
你說(shuō)這話是什么意思
I don't think this is going to work.
我想我們不會(huì)選這里了
Good luck getting someone into your drawers.
希望你們能找到"新鄰居"
It occurs to me
我覺(jué)得
that I may have gotten a little too upset
我可能有點(diǎn)過(guò)于不安了
and jumped to some conclusions
還得出了某些
that were perhaps not true.
或許不正確的結(jié)論
I realize now that you would
我現(xiàn)在意識(shí)到
never intentionally do something so unthinkable.
你絕對(duì)不會(huì)故意做出如此荒唐的事情
So...
所以
I just wanted to say I'm sorry for accusing you.
我想說(shuō) 我很抱歉 我指責(zé)了你
I did it.
我確實(shí)做了
I knew it! You two-faced --
我就知道 你個(gè)兩面派
Let me explain. There is --
聽(tīng)我解釋 那是
There is no explanation. There is just no excuse.
解釋就是掩飾 掩飾就是一切罪惡的開始
I just want to know why!
我只想知道為什么
Okay, y-you know how, um, s-some women say
你知道嗎 有些女人說(shuō)
that they forget how painful childbirth was?
她們忘了生孩子有多痛苦
Well, I-I-I think that you are forgetting
我想你是忘了
how panicked you were before we got Lily.
在領(lǐng)養(yǎng)莉莉之前你有多驚慌失措
- You were freaking out. - I was not!
你完全抓狂了-我沒(méi)有
Okay, so, it says that we can put the mattress
這上面說(shuō)床墊
at one of three different levels.
有三種不同的放法
- Which one should we do? - I don't know.
我們應(yīng)該選哪一個(gè)呢-我不知道
Well, just think about how far down she should be.
好吧 那想想我們應(yīng)該把她放在多深的位置
- How far -- - I don't know! I can't do this!
多深-我不知道 我不能做這個(gè)
Okay.
好的
Oh, this latch system is great.
這個(gè)彈簧固定系統(tǒng)真是太棒了
What did people do before this?
真不知道以前的人是怎么固定的
I don't know! Stop asking me questions!
我不知道 別問(wèn)我問(wèn)題
- Cam... - I can't do this! I can't!
小卡-我不能做這個(gè) 我不能
Okay, well, I...
好吧 我
I don't see what that has to do with anything.
我可不覺(jué)得這兩件事之間有什么聯(lián)系
I-I was scared that -- that it was just gonna all be
我很害怕這件事
too much for you and that you were gonna leave.
你承受不了 我怕你會(huì)離開我
And then I would be the one taking care of a baby
我就會(huì)成為一個(gè)單身爸爸
and half of her last name
帶著的孩子還跟一個(gè)
would belong to the guy who left us.
棄我而去的人姓
It was a mistake. I'm sorry.
是我做錯(cuò)了 我很抱歉
I-I wanted to have it changed,
我本想挽回的
but I needed to get your signature,
但是我需要你的簽名
and I was afraid that it would start a big fight
我怕這會(huì)讓我們大吵一架
and that you would hate me and...
會(huì)讓你討厭我 然后
OK, I'm confused.
那我就不明白了
You're saying that if she tells me she has a problem,
你們是說(shuō) 如果她告訴我她有了麻煩
I'm not supposed to help her?
我卻不該幫助她
Not unless she asks for your help.
除非她求你幫她
But if she lets me help her,
但如果她讓我?guī)椭?/p>
I can make her problem go away.
她就不會(huì)有麻煩了啊
That is such a male thing to say.
那是你們男人的觀點(diǎn)
Well, forgive me for being a man.
請(qǐng)?jiān)徫沂莻€(gè)男人
Mango or kiwi?
芒果的還是獼猴桃的
Ooh, kiwi.
獼猴桃的
When you say, you know, "Do this or do that,"
當(dāng)你說(shuō)應(yīng)該如何如何做時(shí)
all she's hearing is, "I'm smarter than you."
她會(huì)覺(jué)得你是在說(shuō)"我比你聰明多了"
Believe me, she doesn't think that.
相信我 她不會(huì)這么想的
She doesn't want you to save her problems.
她不希望你替他解決麻煩
She just wants you to give her support
她只希望得到你的支持
so that she can solve her problems herself.
讓她自己解決麻煩
Yes, and sometimes --
沒(méi)錯(cuò) 而且有時(shí)候
sometimes she just wants a sympathetic ear.
有時(shí)候她只需要一個(gè)傾訴的對(duì)象
Maybe it's all the creams,
或許這才問(wèn)題的關(guān)鍵
but that just made sense, girlfriends.
但說(shuō)的很有道理 姑娘們
So if Claire says, "I hate getting stuck in traffic,"
那么如果克萊爾說(shuō) 我討厭堵車
- I shouldn't say, "Maybe you should leave earlier"... - No.
-我就不該說(shuō) 你應(yīng)該早點(diǎn)出門 -不
- ...Or, "Don't get on the freeway." - No.
-或是 別上高速公路 -不
I should just say, "I know. It's so frustrating."
我應(yīng)該說(shuō) 我懂 這是挺郁悶的
- Yes! That's it! - Really?
-是的 這就對(duì)了 -真的嗎
Yes! Yes!
沒(méi)錯(cuò)
And -- and if she says, uh, uh...
如果她說(shuō)
The waiter I had today was so rude,
今天的服務(wù)員態(tài)度太差了
I shouldn'say, "Maybe you should just order
我不該說(shuō) 你應(yīng)該一次性
- something on the menu for once." - No.
把菜全點(diǎn)好-不行
I should just say, "What a jerk."
我應(yīng)該說(shuō) 真混蛋
Yes! Yes! Yeah!
對(duì)了 就是這樣
And if she says, "Phil, the TV's driving me crazy,"
如果她說(shuō) 菲爾 這節(jié)目快把我逼瘋了
I should just say, "I know!
我應(yīng)該說(shuō) 我知道
There is not enough quality programming for men."
現(xiàn)在的電視節(jié)目都不是人看的
No! Turn off the damn TV.
不 你應(yīng)該關(guān)掉那該死的電視
Okay, now I'm confused again.
好吧 我又不明白了
So, I heard you had a rough time today.
聽(tīng)說(shuō)你今天過(guò)的不太愉快啊
Yeah, well...
是啊
Remember the days when we thought we'd live forever?
還記得那些我們以為會(huì)永遠(yuǎn)在一起的日子嗎
Don't you want to go play?
你想去玩嗎
When do I ever play?
我什么時(shí)候玩過(guò)
I'm kind of wrestling
我似乎也得應(yīng)付
with this whole "older man, younger woman" thing.
這些老夫少妻的事
It's like Chloe and I grew up in different worlds.
就好像我和克羅伊的生活背景不同
Today I made a joke about the Wiggles.
今天我說(shuō)了個(gè)關(guān)于威格爾家的笑話
- It went right over her head. - I don't know what that is.
她居然一頭霧水-我不知道你說(shuō)的什么
It's an expression -- means she didn't get it.
這是個(gè)短語(yǔ) 意思就是她不明白
Yeah, it sometimes -- this age thing --
是啊 有時(shí)候年齡的事
knocks you in the head.
是很讓人心煩
That what this is about?
你是指什么呢
I always knew your mother might remarry after I'm gone.
我一直都明白 我去世之后你媽可能會(huì)改嫁
That never bothered me.
可我從來(lái)沒(méi)煩惱過(guò)
I figured her husbands would be your dad, me,
她嫁過(guò)你爸 嫁過(guò)我
and some putz who could never live up to me.
肯定也會(huì)嫁某些完全比不上我的傻瓜
But what if I'm not the main guy?
但如果我不是她心中最重要的那一個(gè)怎么辦
What if some other guy is?
如果她更愛(ài)其他人
What if I'm the putz?
如果我才是那個(gè)傻瓜
When my mom and dad got divorced,
我媽和我爸離婚的時(shí)候
do you have any idea how many guys chased after her?
你知道有多少人在追求她嗎
The phone didn't stop ringing.
電話鈴聲就沒(méi)停過(guò)
Men would stop her on the street.
那些人會(huì)半路把她攔住
Guys would propose to her from moving cars.
車還沒(méi)停下 就向她求婚
They were good-looking guys, Jay -- with money.
他們都長(zhǎng)得很帥 又多金
I think one of them was a Kennedy.
我覺(jué)得他們中的一個(gè)能當(dāng)總統(tǒng)
Where are you going with this?
你說(shuō)這些是什么意思
When you showed up, I didn't think you had a prayer.
當(dāng)你出現(xiàn)的時(shí)候 我覺(jué)得你沒(méi)什么希望
You were so nervous and sweaty, I felt sorry for you.
你緊張得大汗淋漓的 我真為感到難過(guò)
I had to climb three flights of stairs.
我可是被迫爬了三段樓梯
But of all people, my mom fell for you.
但在所有人中 我媽選中了你
I got a few moves.
她追姑娘很有一手
She said she fell in love with you during your first fight.
她說(shuō)第一次和你吵架的時(shí)候就愛(ài)上你了
- What? - She said she'd finally met her match.
什么-她說(shuō)她終于找到了真命天子
Oh.
是嘛
So if you think she's just gonna replace you
所以如果你認(rèn)為她會(huì)在你去世后
when you're gone,
找人代替你
Then you are the putz.
那你就是個(gè)傻瓜
Thanks, kid.I appreciate that.
謝謝你 孩子 醍醐灌頂啊
I thought you liked me when I first showed up.
我還以為一開始你就喜歡我
Please. For the first month,
拜托 頭一個(gè)月
I didn't even bother to learn your name.
我甚至都不想知道你的名字
- Is she back yet? - She's on her way.
她回來(lái)了嗎-在路上了
- Did you find it? - I did.
你找到了嗎-找到了
At the fifth store I went to.
終于在第五家店找到了
It was in the window, and I had to undress a mannequin
就在櫥窗里 我是從模特身上扒下來(lái)的
while a creepy guy filmed it,
還被一個(gè)變態(tài)拍了下來(lái)
So we have to look forward to on the internet.
我們估計(jì)能在網(wǎng)上找到
- Thank you so much, mom. - You're welcome.
-太謝謝你了 媽媽 -不謝
Now, go put that exactly where you found the other one, okay?
現(xiàn)在 快放到它原來(lái)的地方去 知道嗎
Okay.
好的
Uh-oh.
啊歐
- What? The security tag -- it's still on!
什么-防盜扣還在上面呢
I told those people to take that off.
我跟他們說(shuō)了讓他們?nèi)∠聛?lái)
- Oh, no. - She's pulling into the driveway!
不-她已經(jīng)開入停車道了
Okay. It's fine. It's fine.
好的 沒(méi)事 沒(méi)事
Don't panic. I've got it. I've got it.
別緊張 快弄好了 快弄好了
- She's getting out of the car! - All right! I am doing it!
她下車了-別鬧了 我正在弄
I've almost got it. I -- oh, god! Oh, no!
快弄好了 我 哦 天啊 糟了
- What is that?! - Well, it's ink.
什么東西-是墨水
Aah! Hide it. Hide it.
藏起來(lái) 快藏起來(lái)
- She's in the house! - What are you doing with my sweater?
她進(jìn)來(lái)了-你把我毛衣怎么了
Oh, my god! It's ruined!
天啊 你把它毀了
It was an accident!
只是個(gè)意外
I knew this would happen, you idiot!
我就知道會(huì)這樣 你個(gè)笨蛋
Hey, hey! Let's try to get along.
嘿 嘿 有話好好說(shuō)
I wish she was never even born!
我真希望她根本沒(méi)生下來(lái)過(guò)
They were trying to make one with a brain!
他們只不過(guò)需要一個(gè)有腦子的孩子
Not fair! Honey, you guys are both...
別亂講 親愛(ài)的 你們都很
Oh...pretty smart.
都很聰明
Ohh...
噢
Geez.
天啊
It's that sweater, huh?
是線衫的事對(duì)吧
Yeah. It is that sweater.
對(duì) 就是線衫的事
And I did everything I can to stop them from fighting.
我盡了一切努力避免她們吵架
I don't understand.
我就不懂了
Why they can't see how much you love them.
她們?cè)趺礇](méi)意識(shí)到你有多么愛(ài)她們
I don't know.
我也不懂
Meanwhile, Cheryl has be calling me all day
還有今天綺麗兒一直給我打電話
because she's angry I didn't show up.
就因?yàn)樗鷼馕覜](méi)去
Doesn't Cheryl have a housekeeper and a nanny?
綺麗兒家里不是有管家和保姆什么的嗎
Why does she need so much help?
為什么她還要?jiǎng)e人幫忙
I know, right?
我也知道 你說(shuō)是吧
You work so hard.
你鞠躬盡瘁
You do so much.
你勞苦功高
I do.
對(duì)啊
Of course you do.
百分之百對(duì)
I do.
確實(shí)
I do.
確實(shí)
Oh, sweetie, thank you.
親愛(ài)的 謝謝你
I really appreciate that.
真的很感謝
Hey.
嘿
Yeah?
什么
Who's my gal?
我老婆是誰(shuí)
I am.
就是我
Darn right. Yeah.
答對(duì)了 就是你
Oh. Let me get this.
我去洗個(gè)手
Hey, by the way --
嘿 還有一件事
notice anything different about me?
發(fā)現(xiàn)我有什么不同嗎
Unh-unh.
沒(méi)啊
Huh.
哈
Hmm. What is it?
哪里不同了
Nothing.
沒(méi)什么
- A haircut? - A week ago.
剪頭發(fā)了嗎-一個(gè)禮拜前就剪了
Okay, so, tell me.
好啦 快點(diǎn)告訴我
Forget it. It's not important.
算了 沒(méi)什么重要的
Okay. I'll just go start dinner.
我去做飯了
Listen, I've been thinking.
聽(tīng)著 我想了想
When I go,
在我死了以后
I want you to know...
我想告訴你
It's okay if you marry someone else.
你嫁給別人也可以的
I know.
我知道
Because I want you be happy.
因?yàn)槲蚁肽阈腋?/p>
I'll be happy.
我會(huì)幸福的
You're driving me crazy on purpose, right?
你故意氣我是不是
Jay, I'm not going to marry anyone else.
杰 我不會(huì)嫁給別人的
That's what you say now,
你現(xiàn)在是這么說(shuō)的
but no one knows what the future holds.
但是沒(méi)人知道未來(lái)是怎樣的
So I want you to have this.
所以我給你這個(gè)
Look at this,
看這個(gè)
an empty coffee can.
一個(gè)空的咖啡罐
Do you know what men used to buy me?
你知道追我的男人給我買什么嗎
When I go, toss me in the fire,
我死了以后 把我火化了
Sweep up my ashes, stick 'em in that.
把我的骨灰放進(jìn)這個(gè)罐子里面
Ta-da!
嗒噠
We need to talk about this "Ta-da."
我得跟你談一談這個(gè)"嗒噠"
Cause I don't care if it's in a wall
因?yàn)槲也辉诤跷宜篮蟠牡胤接袥](méi)有墻
or if it's in the ground --
或者還是被深埋地下
just as long as I end up with you.
我只要和你在一起就行了
Oh, Jay.
哦 杰
It's perfect.
太完美了
Jay Pritchett sitting on the mantel in the old coffee can.
杰·普里契特的骨灰咖啡罐放在壁櫥上
That will drive the putz crazy. And I like that.
這些追求者就傻眼了 我就喜歡這樣
Um, so, f-for whatever it's worth,
所以說(shuō) 我左思右想
I-I called the adoption attorney --
我還是叫來(lái)了收養(yǎng)律師
Adoption, yay!
收養(yǎng) 耶
And on Monday, they're gonna start the process
在星期一 他們就會(huì)開始著手準(zhǔn)備
of changing lily's last name to "Tucker-pritchett."
把莉莉的姓改成塔克-普里契特
Great.
好啊
Again, I'm -- I'm so sorry.
我想再次道歉
Okay.
好吧
Um... Oh, I, uh...
這個(gè) 我
I took a quick pass at "Two Monkeys and a Panda."
我剛寫完了《兩只猴和一只熊貓》
So, just let me know what you think.
我想聽(tīng)聽(tīng)你的看法
Once upon a time,
很久很久以前
there were two monkeys.
有兩只猴子
They loved each other very much,
他們都很愛(ài)對(duì)方
but there was something missing."
但是還是缺少一樣?xùn)|西
A hyphen?
連字號(hào)嗎
They wanted a baby.
他們想要一個(gè)孩子
And they heard that there was a very special baby
他們聽(tīng)說(shuō)在遙遠(yuǎn)的地方有一個(gè)特別的孩子
in a faraway land who needed a family.
她需要一個(gè)家
She was a panda named Lily.
她是一只熊貓 名字叫莉莉
One of the monkeys was scared.
其中一只猴子驚慌失措
They'd never had a panda before.
他們從未養(yǎng)過(guò)熊貓孩子
But they held Lily in their arms,
但是在他們把莉莉抱在懷里的時(shí)候
and the scared monkey became the brave one.
那只驚慌失措的猴子變得勇敢了
And the two monkeys --"
這兩只猴子
- Coco and Miko. - I'm sorry. What?
可可和米克-不好意思 你說(shuō)什么
Coco And "Miko" Are the names of the monkeys.
可可和米克是兩只猴子的名字
Really?
是嗎
That doesn't seem like it's a little un--
聽(tīng)起來(lái)有那么一點(diǎn)
Coco and Miko. I like that. I like that.
可可和米克 我喜歡 我喜歡
Coco and Miko -- yeah.
可可和米克 對(duì)
They traveled all the way home
他們帶上他們收養(yǎng)的完美的小熊貓
with the perfect panda that they adopted."
回到了家里
Did she just clap?
她剛剛是不是拍手了
She heard "Adopted" And clapped!
她聽(tīng)到"收養(yǎng)"就拍手了
Cam! That's amazing!
小卡 這太不可思議了
Oh, my god! You did that!
哦 天啊 你做到了
- Well, I don't... - What?!
-那個(gè) 我沒(méi)有 -什么
You did that. That is amazing. I can't believe that.
你做到了 難以置信 我不敢相信
And just like that, peace returned to our house.
就像這樣 和平回到了家里
Well, technically, I-it's my house, but...
理論上來(lái)說(shuō) 這是我的家 但是
I-I will -- I will fix that, too.
我 我馬上就去改了
Once we finished writing the book,
當(dāng)我們把書寫完的時(shí)候
we realized something.
我們發(fā)現(xiàn)一件事情
We're not the only two monkeys with the panda,
不僅僅是我們這兩只猴子有熊貓寶寶
gay parents are a huge market,
同性戀夫婦是一個(gè)巨大的市場(chǎng)
and no one's writing for them.
沒(méi)人專門給他們寫書
We thought we were sitting on a gold mine.
我覺(jué)得我們簡(jiǎn)直是坐擁金礦
But we weren't.
可惜不是
Gay Parenting.
《同性戀養(yǎng)孩子》
"Gay Adoptive Parenting."-Okay.
《同性戀收養(yǎng)孩子》-好吧
Gay Adoption: Foreign Children. Wow.
《同性戀收養(yǎng)外國(guó)孩子》-哇哦
"Gay Adoption: Asian Children."-What?
《同性戀收養(yǎng)亞裔孩子》-蝦米
"Bisexual Adoption: Asian Children."
《雙性戀收養(yǎng)亞洲孩子》
"Transgendered Adoption."
《變性人收養(yǎng)孩子》
Okay, come on. Let's go, Miko.
夠了 米克我們走
?