Mom. The dog again.
媽 那狗又在吠
I know baby. I want to strangle that crazy old thing.
聽到了 寶貝 我想掐死那條瘋老狗
Just ignore it.
別理它就是了
It's easy for you to ignore
對(duì)你來說確實(shí)容易
because you have the old-man hearing.
因?yàn)槟阋呀?jīng)老耳閉塞
But Manny and I -- we have the young ears.
但是我跟曼尼有著朝氣蓬勃的雙耳
I don't get how one dog keeps you awake
我就不明白你怎么會(huì)受不了一條咆哮狗
when you grew up sleeping through
你老家滿街都是斗雞和武裝革命
cockfights and revolutions.
應(yīng)該早習(xí)慣了吧
Mm-hmm. Very funny, Jay.
很好笑 杰
Manny hasn't been able to sleep in weeks.
曼尼已經(jīng)好幾個(gè)禮拜都沒睡好覺了
It's screwing his brain for school.
他都沒精神上課
And it doesn't stop.
那狗吠個(gè)不停
It goes on and on and on and on and on and on
一直不停地叫啊叫啊叫啊叫啊叫啊叫啊
- and on and on and on. - Yes, that could be annoying.
叫啊叫啊-行了 這聲挺煩的
That's it. I'm going over there.
我受夠了 我去找他們
Gloria, now, don't go starting something
歌洛莉亞 別惹事
because whenever you do, I'm the one that --
因?yàn)椴还苣愀墒裁?最后還不是我善后
That she couldn't hear.
這聲她倒是可以不理會(huì)
They're gone. Cam.
他們都不見了 小卡
All the children are gone.
所有的小孩都不見了
What children?
什么孩子們
I was running in the park,
我在公園跑步
and I noticed that none of the kids
然后我發(fā)現(xiàn)
Lily usually plays with were there.
跟莉莉一起玩的小孩都不見了
- Well, it's still early. - But then I ran into Lori.
現(xiàn)在還早著呢-但是我遇到了羅莉
Boobs Lori or adult-braces Lori?
大胸羅莉還是牙套羅莉
Great-shoes Lori.-Oh,I like her.
美鞋羅莉-我喜歡她
And she said that they all sent their kids to preschool.
她說他們都把孩子送去上幼兒園了
What?! We agreed to wait till next year.
什么 我們說好了明年再上的
It was a fake-out to make sure that their kids got a spot.
那是忽悠我們 好給自家孩子爭(zhēng)取名額
Those skinny bitches.
那些瘦婊子
We have got to get her into school, Cameron,
我們必須去報(bào)名 卡梅隆
or else she's gonna fall behind.
不然她就落后了
Don't you think I know that?
你以為我不知道嗎
This is perfect.
真夠絕的
Oh, leave it to the gays
讓那對(duì)基佬
to raise the only underachieving Asian in America.
養(yǎng)出美利堅(jiān)唯一一個(gè)成績(jī)爛的亞洲小孩吧
[亞洲學(xué)生在美國一般成績(jī)都比較優(yōu)秀]
Okay, here you go.
好了 這個(gè)給你
Guys, breakfast.
伙計(jì)們 吃早餐了
Guys. Phil. Hello.
伙計(jì)們 菲爾 理我一下
Totally with you.
我在我在
Kids, put your dishes in the dishwasher.
孩子們 盤子放到洗碗機(jī)里去
Okay, no. That's it.
好了 我受夠了
Everybody, gadgets down now!
每個(gè)人都給老娘把手里的玩意兒放下
Why are you freaking out?
你干嘛發(fā)飆
Because you're all so involved with your little gizmos,
因?yàn)檫@些玩意把你們魂都勾跑了
nobody is even talking.
都沒人講話了
Families are supposed to talk.
家人彼此間應(yīng)該交流
What are you doing that's so important?
你在處理什么了不得的事嗎
Oh, I'm locking in my fantasy roster.
我在搗鼓俺的夢(mèng)幻烤爐
I'm unbeatable.
我戰(zhàn)無不勝
We're totally getting an aboveground pool.
我們正要建一個(gè)地上泳池
Die, stupid, die!
去死吧 蠢貨 去死吧
Luke, I told you to put that down now.
盧克 我叫你把那東西放下
Come on, buddy.
快點(diǎn) 小子
One second. I'm about to beat dad's record.
等一下 我就要破老爸的記錄了
You heard your mother.
聽媽媽的話
What is so funny?
有什么這么好笑
Nothing.
沒什么
Mom's insane. Thank you, Haley.
老媽瘋了 謝謝 海莉
At least we talk.
至少我們?cè)诮涣?/p>
Hello.
喂
Hey, it's me. What's a good preschool?
是我 哪所幼兒園比較好
Uh, well, our kids went to Wagon Wheel.
我家小孩去的是沃根威爾
And it was good? You liked it?
那所好嗎 你喜歡嗎
Oh, well, you know my kids
你知道我的小孩
are middle-management material at best.
反正也都不是什么太好的胚子
Didn't want to waste a lot of money --
也不想在他們身上浪費(fèi)太多錢
Yes, Mitchell, it's good.
米奇爾 那所不賴
Why the interest?
干嗎突然問這個(gè)
I just realized that all of Lily's friends
我突然發(fā)現(xiàn)莉莉的玩伴們
are going to school this year, and now she's late.
今年都上幼兒園了 她現(xiàn)在落后了
Don't worry. She can wait another year.
別擔(dān)心 她可以明年再上
Just buy her a Blackberry,
給她買部黑莓手機(jī)就是了
that's all she's gonna want to do anyway.
反正現(xiàn)在的小孩就愛它
What did she say?
她說什么
She says to buy her a Blackberry.
她說給莉莉買部黑莓手機(jī)
Lily doesn't have the dexterity for that, Claire!
莉莉的小手還沒法玩手機(jī)呢 克萊爾
What is happening?
她瘋了吧
Can you just check with your school
你能不能問一下你那間學(xué)校
and see if maybe you can get us in?
看看能不能接收我們
Hmm. I-I can probably get you an interview.
我也許可以幫你安排一次會(huì)面
Oh, no. That's great. That's great.
太棒了 太好了
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
謝謝 真的太感謝了
Oh, and, by the way, what do you think
還有 順便問一下 你覺得
of that place Billingsley Academy?
比林斯利學(xué)院怎么樣
Ooh. Billingsley. Very hoity-toity.
比林斯利 拽得很呢
You can't get in there unless you're really rich
一般人根本進(jìn)不去 除非你富得流油
or you know somebody on the board.
或者在校董會(huì)有人
Oh, god, this is a nightmare.
天啊 這簡(jiǎn)直是個(gè)噩夢(mèng)
Mitch, it's preschool. Don't overthink it.
米奇 幼兒園罷了 別小題大做
My kids didn't go to Billingsley,
我家小孩也沒上比林斯利
and they are fine.
他們不也好好的嗎
I have to go.
我得掛了
Phil.
菲爾
That's awesome.
有創(chuàng)意
- Buenos dias. - Hi.
早上好-你好
We haven't formally met.
我們還沒正式見過面
I'm Gloria Pritchett from next door.
我是住在隔壁的歌洛莉亞·普里契特
Larry Paulson. Yeah, I've seen you. Mm.
我叫拉瑞·保森 見過面了
Lucky guy.
艷福不淺啊
Wait a minute, then tell me.
是福是禍你很快就知道了
Your dog doesn't stop barking.
你的狗吠個(gè)不停
All morning, all night.
整日整夜亂吠
He wakes my son up,
他吵醒了我兒子
and he needs his sleep.
他需要充足的睡眠
It's not my dog. It's my soon-to-be ex-wife's.
不是我的狗 是我即將散伙的妻子的
She moved out three weeks ago.
她三個(gè)星期前搬出去了
Is she coming back for it?
她會(huì)回來取嗎
Not unless it starts crapping money.
除非狗屎變美鈔
Well, you need to do something about the dog.
那你必須想辦法治治它
The dog is old and stupid.
那狗又老又笨
Who are you really mad at, Larry?
你到底是在生誰的氣 拉瑞
The dog or your wife?
那條狗還是你妻子
Who the hell is this kid?
這小孩怎么回事
Hey, there's no need for that.
別扯上小孩
I'll tell you who he is.
我告訴你他是怎么回事
His name is "shut up your damn dog"!
他的名字就叫做 讓你那該死的狗閉嘴
You know what's ironic?
真是諷刺至極啊
And I have never once said a word
我從來都沒有抱怨過
About that obnoxious parrot of yours
你們家那只聒噪的鸚鵡
That's always squawking.
叫聲簡(jiǎn)直非人類
Parrot?
鸚鵡
What parrot?
什么鸚鵡
Jay!
杰
Jay!
杰
Jay!
杰
What is he talking about? What parrot?
他那是什么意思 哪兒來的鸚鵡
How the hell do I know?
我怎么知道
So, what do we do now?
那我們現(xiàn)在應(yīng)該怎么做
Nothing. We did it. He heard us.
我們已經(jīng)和他說了 還能做什么
He didn't hear nothing.
但他什么都沒聽進(jìn)去
Jay, don't go. Jay!
杰 別走 杰
Jay! Jay!
杰 杰
Okay, we have called this family meeting
好了 我們召開這次家庭會(huì)議的原因是
Because the personal electronics have gotten out of control.
個(gè)人電子產(chǎn)品已經(jīng)影響了正常生活
Starting today, there's going to be a one-week ban
從今天起 將進(jìn)行為期一周的電子設(shè)備禁用周
-On all cellphones, texting, -oh!
-禁止用手機(jī) 發(fā)信息 -噢不
Im'ing, video chatting, video-gaming,
禁止上論壇 視屏聊天 玩游戲
-Anything on the internet. -How am I supposed to do my homework?
禁止任何網(wǎng)絡(luò)行為-那我該怎么做作業(yè)
The way I did.
跟我學(xué)學(xué)
With a chisel and a piece of stone.
拿一個(gè)鑿子和一塊石頭
-Phil. -Can't unplug my funny bone.
菲爾-別想阻止我發(fā)自內(nèi)心的幽默感
I have a huge science paper due.
我馬上就要完成一份科學(xué)論文
And we have a great set of encyclopedias...Somewhere.
別擔(dān)心 也許家里還有本祖?zhèn)鞯陌倏迫珪?/p>
What do you think the public library is for?
不然你認(rèn)為公共圖書館是用來干嗎
I thought that was a bathroom for homeless people.
我以為那里是流浪漢的免費(fèi)公廁
Can I still play plants vs. Zombies?
我還能繼續(xù)玩植物大戰(zhàn)僵尸嗎
Are you not listening?
?
你是不是聾了
-But you learn about plants. -Mm-hmm.
但是你了解植物-怎么
And plants are life.
植物是有生命的
Are you against life?
難道你反對(duì)生命嗎
How am I supposed to talk to my friends?
那我該怎么和我的朋友聊天
Talk to them at school.
在學(xué)校聊個(gè)痛快
Or at a juice bar.
或者在果汁店
Or on the house phone.
或者用座機(jī)打
Nobody even knows our number.
沒人知道我們家的號(hào)碼
I don't even know our number.
連我自己都不知道
So, you're saying dad's not going to go online?
這么說老爸也不會(huì)再去上網(wǎng)咯
Yep.-Dad?
當(dāng)然-老爸
-That's right. -What about fantasy football?
是的-那瘋狂足球怎么辦
Not a problem. My team's set this week.
不用擔(dān)心 球隊(duì)那邊已經(jīng)都安排好了
I am completely on board
我至死不渝地
your mother's horse and buggy to yesteryear.
支持你老媽的突發(fā)奇想
For the next week, I may as well be Amish.
[Amish提倡遠(yuǎn)離電器過簡(jiǎn)樸的生活]
接下來的一周 我要回歸原始社會(huì)
Jebediah Dunphy.
原始人鄧菲
Raising barns, witnessing murders,
穴居狩獵 茹毛飲血
Making electric fireplace hearths.
鉆木取火
Oh! This is so unfair!
這簡(jiǎn)直太不公平了
You know what?
你猜怎么著
We're gonna make this fun.
我們可以搞得有趣些
Turn it into a game.
把它當(dāng)作一次比賽
Whoever stays unplugged the longest, wins.
堅(jiān)持到最后的那個(gè)人就是勝利者
Not what I had in mind, Phil.
菲爾 這不是我的初衷
-What do we win? -What do you want?
我們能贏得什么-你們想要什么
I want a new computer.
我想要一臺(tái)新電腦
Done
成
We're gonna get them off of electronics
我們禁止他們用電子產(chǎn)品
with the promise of more electronics?
結(jié)果卻要給他們添置更多電子設(shè)備嗎
-I want chicken pot pie. -And chicken.
我想要雞肉餡餅-整只雞都行
I want a car.
我想要一輛車
-No way! -Done!
沒門-成
Yeah, I'm getting a car!
我能有自己的車了
-Yeah, fun, right? -Phil!
-沒錯(cuò) 很有趣 對(duì)吧 -菲爾
We cannot afford a third car.
我們養(yǎng)不起第三輛車
Relax. They're never gonna last as long as us.
別擔(dān)心 他們不可能贏我們
Oh, honey, don't take this the wrong way,
親愛的 別誤會(huì)
but I have almost no faith in you.
但我確實(shí)對(duì)你沒有任何信心
Joanie will be right out.
喬安妮馬上就會(huì)出來
She's just finishing up another interview.
她馬上就會(huì)結(jié)束那個(gè)接見
Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
好的 謝謝 謝謝 謝謝
- You're welcome. - I really like this place.
不客氣-我真心喜歡這個(gè)地方
- Look at all these drawings. - I know.
看看這些畫-我看到了
And did you see the duckies in the yard?
你看到院子里的鴨鴨了嗎
- Lily loves duckies. - I know.
莉莉最喜歡鴨鴨了-我知道
I'm gonna mention that.
我等會(huì)要提到這些
Okay, well, do,
行啊 說啊
because that's really gonna set her apart from the rest of the kids.
搞的好像說這個(gè)就能讓她顯得與眾不同似的
We should also mention
我們還要提到
how she always perks up when we watch "Charlie Rose."
當(dāng)我們看克萊爾· 羅斯的 脫口秀時(shí) 她總是很興奮
[艾摩是兒童劇芝麻街中的角色]
That was one time. He was interviewing Elmo.
就一次而已 因?yàn)楫?dāng)時(shí)他在采訪艾摩
You boys ought to relax.
你們放輕松點(diǎn)
Oh, I'm sorry.
對(duì)不起
- We just -- we really want to make a good impression. - Mm.
我們只是想留下一個(gè)好印象-對(duì)的
Gay adoptive parents with a minority baby?
基佬養(yǎng)父母加上一個(gè)外籍寶寶
Sugars, you can get into any school you want.
學(xué)校隨你們挑
What was that? Really?
什么 真的嗎
Oh, you didn't know that?
你們不知道嗎
oh, yeah.
當(dāng)然
All of these schools like to brag about their diversity.
所有的學(xué)校都愛吹噓自己沒有任何歧視
You're diverse times three.
你們簡(jiǎn)直是神奇三俠啊
In demand.
絕對(duì)供不應(yīng)求
You're like Jimmy Buffett tickets
你們簡(jiǎn)直就像熱賣的音樂會(huì)門票
[吉米·巴菲特是美國著名音樂人]
to these hybrid-driving, straight white folks.
那些非同白人完全不是你們的對(duì)手
I hear that, girl.
多謝夸獎(jiǎng) 小妞
Yeah.
好吧
I'm coming!
我來啦 別急
Where the hell is the dog?
我家的狗在哪
-Who is it? -It's our neighbor.
是誰在敲門-我們的鄰居
The dog is gone.
我家的狗不見了
Maybe it ran away.
也許它自個(gè)跑走了
It was chained to a tree.
有鏈子鎖著呢 怎么跑
Maybe your wife took it.
也許你老婆帶走了
According to my credit card, my wife is in europe,
根據(jù)我的信用卡賬單 我老婆人在歐洲
searching for the world's most expensive hotel.
正在搜尋最豪華的酒店
Then what do you want from us?
那關(guān)我們什么事
You come over complaining about the dog
你來我家抱怨狗吵
And the next day it's gone?
然后第二天我家的狗就不見了
You tell me.
你說我來干什么
-I'll tell -- -how dare you?
我會(huì)...-居然敢來這里撒野
You come to our house, you ring our bell many times,
你到我們家來 把我們家的門鈴都要按爆了
And you accuse us of taking your dog.
還指責(zé)我們綁了你的狗
You should go home.
慢走不送
-We're not done here. -Yes, we are.
這事還沒完呢-不 已經(jīng)說的很清楚了
What did you do?
你到底做了什么
You don't want to know.
你肯定不想知道的
Gloria's grandfather and uncles were butchers,
歌洛莉亞的祖父和叔叔們都是屠夫
so she's always had a certain comfort level
所以一說到殺戮
when it comes to...Killing.
她總是習(xí)以為常
One time, we had this rat...
有一次 我們家鬧耗子
What? First you smash it,
首先拍爛它
then you cut the head off.
然后砍斷鼠頭
It was like nothing to her.
她就像孫二娘轉(zhuǎn)世
I go to church now.
我要去教堂了
She left the head out there
她把鼠頭留在那兒
To send a message to the other rats.
殺一儆百
Hey.-Hi,honey.
嗨-嗨 親愛的
How was your day at work?
今天工作順利不
Amazing. Mwah.
棒極了
Great. What happened?
哇 說說看
Instead of wasting my lunch hour surfing the web,
沒有像平常那樣 把午休時(shí)間浪費(fèi)在上網(wǎng)啊
checking football stats,
查足球動(dòng)態(tài)啊之類的
I put on some mellow music,
今天我在舒緩的音樂伴奏下
and I meditated.
冥思靜想
Wow. For how long?
哇 堅(jiān)持了多久
I have no idea. I just woke up 2 minutes ago.
我也不知多久 反正我二十分鐘前剛醒
Hey, mom.
媽
I need a bar of soap and a black marker for an art project.
我們美術(shù)課作業(yè)要用一塊肥皂和一根黑色馬克筆
Okay. Well, the marker's over there,
好的 馬克筆在那兒
and the soap is under the sink.
肥皂在水池下面
Isn't it great how much time you have
你看只要你不沉迷于網(wǎng)絡(luò)
now that you're not wasting it online?
就能省出大把時(shí)間啊
Oh, my god. Is this what you always sound like?
老天 你一直都這么說話嗎
Look what I built, dad. Dunphy towers.
老爸 看看我建了什么 鄧菲之塔
2 condos, a happy family in every one.
二百間公寓 每間都住了一個(gè)幸福的家庭
Way to go, buddy.
不錯(cuò)啊 小伙
I got to hand it to you, honey.
親愛的 我真佩服你
24 hours without video games,
24小時(shí)沒玩游戲
he's already contributing to society.
他都開始造福社會(huì)了
Die! Die!
去死吧 去死吧
To be fair, he's using his imagination.
老師說 他已經(jīng)分不清夢(mèng)境和現(xiàn)實(shí)了
There's no fire escapes!
沒有安全出口
They cut corners!
他們抄近路了
I'll cut your corners!
我來滅了你們
Hello?
喂
Oh, hi. Luke, honey, it's for you.
哦 嗨 盧克小寶貝 找你的
Hi, Griffin. How are you?
嗨 格里芬 你好嗎
Yeah, he's right here. Hold on.
嗯 他在這兒 稍等
Hey, Griffin.
喂 格里芬
- Oh, my God! - What happened?
-哦 天哪 -怎么了
There's a parasailing-donkey video on Youtube.
Youtube上有個(gè)驢在水上滑翔的視頻
Oh, my god!
哦 天哪
Wait, Luke. What about the contest?
等等 盧克 比賽怎么辦
I quit.
我退出
I'm not made of stone, you know.
我可不是石頭人
Uhh! I can't believe it.
惡 難以置信
I got a "B" on my paper.
我論文居然拿了個(gè)"B"
- Good for you. - Yeah.
恭喜-不錯(cuò)哦
No, it would be good for you.
不 對(duì)你們來說可能不錯(cuò)
It's terrible for me.
對(duì)我簡(jiǎn)直糟糕透頂
Thanks to your moldy encyclopedias,
多謝你那發(fā)了霉的百科全書
my take on mitosis was completely out of date.
我對(duì)有絲分裂的描述完全過時(shí)了
They don't even call it protoplasm anymore.
甚至都沒人用原生質(zhì)這種說法了
It's cytoplasm.
現(xiàn)在都叫細(xì)胞質(zhì)
Well, you could have asked one of us.
你可以問我們的呀
Now you're making jokes?
你在搞笑嗎
- I'm not making a joke. - Really?
我沒在搞笑-真的嗎
?
What's the difference between a gamete and a zygote?
生殖細(xì)胞和受精卵的區(qū)別是什么
Don't fall for it, Claire.
別上當(dāng) 克萊爾
She's just making up words.
她瞎編了倆單詞
That's it.
夠了
I need the internet.
我需要因特網(wǎng)
I'm out of your stupid contest.
我退出你們的爛比賽
And then there were three.
三強(qiáng)爭(zhēng)霸
She's kind of scary.
她殺氣十足
We're not buying her a car.
我們才不會(huì)給她買車
Hey, buddy, what you reading?
小伙兒 看啥呢
The old man and the sea.
《老人與?!?/p>
You like it?
喜歡嗎
I like that Hemingway gets to the point.
我喜歡海明威的開門見山
You read a lot of his stuff?
你讀過他另外的作品啊
That was a hint, Jay.
我是在暗示你有話就說 杰
Oh, okay.
哦 明白
I want to ask you something...
我想問你點(diǎn)事
between you and me.
天知地知 你知我知
You want to know if I think my mom
你想知道我媽有沒有
did something to that dog.
對(duì)那狗下毒手
Yeah.-Sit.
對(duì)-坐
Don't most kids drink soda?
小孩一般都喝汽水的吧
Who knows what they do?
誰管他們喝什么
So, your mom.
回歸正題
Jay, I've learned a few things in my 12 years.
杰 這十二年來我學(xué)會(huì)了幾件事
Don't skimp on linens,
亞麻衣服別買地?cái)傌?/p>
don't compliment a teacher on her figure,
千萬不要贊美老師的身材
and when it comes to my mom,
至于我媽
never ask questions I don't want the answers to.
有些問題你還是別問了 我也不想知道答案
I don't buy it. Sensitive kid like you.
我才不信 你這么敏感的小孩兒
I think you want to know every bit as much as I do.
肯定跟我一樣 有打破沙鍋探到底的精神
You're wrong.
你錯(cuò)了
Then why is your hand shaking?
那你手怎么發(fā)抖了
This is my fifth one of these today.
這是我今天第五杯咖啡
I may have a problem.
我可能咖啡喝太多了
Okay. That's enough.
好吧 別喝了
No, no, no, 4: tomorrow is fine.
不不不 明天下午四點(diǎn)非常好
Yeah, my life partner and I will see you then.
好的 那么我和我的伴侶與您到時(shí)見
Thank -- thank you.
謝謝您
Since when do you call me your life partner?
什么時(shí)候起你開始管我叫伴侶了
Since a spot opened up at Billingsley Academy.
從我們拿到了比林斯利學(xué)園的面試名額起
But I liked Wagon Wheel. It had all the duckies.
但我喜歡沃根威爾 那里有好多小鴨鴨
And it reminded me of where I went in Missouri.
這讓我回憶起我在密蘇里童年時(shí)光
Cam, everyone goes to Billingsley for a reason --
小卡 比林斯利可不是浪得虛名
It's the Harvard of preschools.
它就相當(dāng)于學(xué)前班中的哈佛
She's not even 2 years old yet.
她還不到兩歲呢
She doesn't need the Harvard of Preschools.
她不需要什么哈佛學(xué)前班
She needs finger painting and duckies.
她需要的是手指畫和小鴨鴨
I'm begging you to please just say "Ducks."
我求你了 你就不能說"鴨子"嗎
Hello?
喂
Great news. Wagon Wheel loved you.
好消息 沃根威爾很欣賞你們
- You're in. - Oh.
你們進(jìn)了-哦
Wagon Wheel wants us.
沃根威爾要咱們
Oh, yes!
哦 太棒了
Okay. Well, that's great and everything,
這真是個(gè)好消息
but actually we have an appointment tomorrow
不過我們明天還要去趕另一個(gè)入學(xué)面試
- At Billingsley. - Really?
比林斯利小學(xué)-真的嗎
Yeah, apparently we are in very high demand.
沒錯(cuò) 顯然我們很搶手
Oh, well, just so you know, I don't think Wagon Wheel
只是要你知道 我覺得沃根威爾
is gonna hold a place for you.
不會(huì)給你們當(dāng)備胎
Well, I think we're gonna take our chance.
我覺得我們這回得碰碰運(yùn)氣
Take our chance? That sounds chancy.
碰運(yùn)氣 聽起來真不靠譜
You know, Mitchell,
米奇爾
you were the one who called me in a panic.
是你驚慌失措地給我打電話
You were the one who needed me to get you in.
是你叫我?guī)兔?bào)上名
I'm sorry, Claire.
我很抱歉 克萊爾
I didn't mean to put you out.
我不是有意麻煩你的
But let's not get too dramatic here.
但你也別說得這么夸張
You wrote an e-mail.
不過就是寫了封郵件而已
It wasn't an e-mail.
這不是封郵件
It was a phone call from a land line.
是一通有線電話
What did you do?
你做了什么
- What's best for Lily. - Did you?
是為莉莉好-是嗎
Cam, this is the first time that being gay
小卡 這是我們作為基佬頭一回
is a competitive advantage.
享受到競(jìng)爭(zhēng)優(yōu)勢(shì)
They're choosing teams for gym class,
他們體操班正在招人
and we're finally getting picked first.
我們終于能首批入選
I always got picked first.
我一直都是最先被選上
I could throw a dodgeball through a piece of plywood.
因?yàn)槲夷苡枚惚芮蛟掖┮粚訆A板
But I see your point.
不過我懂你意思
Don't sneak up on me like that.
別像鬼一樣靠近我
What are you doing out here?
你出來這兒干什么
You got in my head about my mom.
你來問我媽的事搞得我頭都大了
Is that the rat shovel?
這就是殺鼠之鏟嗎
Yeah.
沒錯(cuò)
Are you checking it for signs of dog?
你在找狗狗的線索嗎
I was going to.
我正準(zhǔn)備檢查
Well, let's do this quick.
我們速戰(zhàn)速?zèng)Q
If she catches us,
要是被她抓住的話
we're as dead as that dog probably is.
我們就跟這狗一樣死定了
- What are you doing here? - Nothing.
你們?cè)谶@兒干嘛呢-什么也沒干
Why are you looking at that shovel?
你們干嘛看這個(gè)鏟子
Do you think someone
你覺得有人
did something with that shovel, Manny?
用這鏟子干了什么事嗎 曼尼
He thinks you killed the dog.
他認(rèn)為是你殺了那只狗
You little rat.
你這鼠輩
Don't call me a rat!
別叫我老鼠
She kills rats!
她是滅鼠天后
You really think that I would kill a dog?
你真的認(rèn)為是我殺了那只狗嗎
Well, what was I supposed to think?
那我該怎么想
I don't know.
我不知道
How about I didn't kill a dog?
我沒殺那只狗怎么樣
Just tell me what you did with it.
那就告訴我你把它怎么了
He's in a better place.
他去了一個(gè)更好的地方
That's what people say when something's dead.
人們說什么東西死了的時(shí)候都這么說
Okay, fine.
好吧
I took him to a farm
我把它帶去了一個(gè)農(nóng)場(chǎng)
where he has plenty of room to run.
那里地方很大任由它玩耍
That's the second thing people say when something's dead.
人們說什么東西死了的第二種表述方式
My hairdresser's brother has three kids.
我專屬美發(fā)師的兄弟有三個(gè)孩子
They live in the country.
他們住在鄉(xiāng)下
They were so happy to have the dog
他們很高興擁有這只狗
that they gave me a jar of pickles.
還送給我們一瓶咸菜
Is that also what they say when something is dead?
這也是人們說什么東西死了的一種方式嗎
Really?
真的嗎
Look. Look how happy they are,
看 看看他們多么開心
instead of him being tied to a tree outside
而不是在這兒孤零零地
with no one to talk to.
被綁在外面的樹上
Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
你怎么不一開始告訴我這些
Like you would be okay with me stealing a dog?
就好像你不在意我偷一只狗似的
No.-Exactly.
當(dāng)然不行-就是這樣
That's why I didn't tell you.
這就是我不告訴你的原因
Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep,
現(xiàn)在狗狗開心 曼尼能安心睡覺
and we have pickles.
而我們還有咸菜吃
Okay, it worked out this time,
好的 這次的事就這么算了
but don't forget that stealing is against the law.
不過別忘了偷竊是違法的
- Now, maybe in Colombia. - Ah, here we go,
也許在哥倫比亞-又來了
because in Colombia we trip over goats
因?yàn)樵诟鐐惐葋單覀儠?huì)被羊絆倒
and we kill people in the street.
我們當(dāng)街殺人
Do you know how offensive that is?
你知道這有多傷人嗎
Like we are Peruvians!
就好像我們是秘魯人似的
The contest was hard.
這比賽太難熬了
Reservations.
預(yù)定
Even though we had sworn off the internet,
雖然我們發(fā)誓斷絕網(wǎng)絡(luò)
the rest of the world hadn't.
但是外面的人沒有
Orlando.
奧蘭多
Domestic.
國內(nèi)的
Representative.
代理人
Representative!
代理人
Representative! Representative!
代理人 代理人
You've got mail.
你有一封郵件
- Really, Claire? - You don't understand.
-真的假的 克萊爾 -你不明白
I was trying to deal with our plane tickets
我正試著買機(jī)票
to visit your family.
去拜訪你的家人
Please stop. You're just embarrassing yourself.
別說了 你這是自找難堪
Well, it looks like it's just you and me, old man.
巔峰對(duì)決 老頭
Bring it.
放馬過來吧
And finally, here we are back at the office.
終于 我們逛回辦公室了
If you two would like to take a seat,
你們?nèi)绻敢庾粫?huì)的話
I will let Mr. Plympton know that you're here.
我這就去通知普林普頓先生說你們到了
?
- Thank you. - Yes, thank you.
謝謝你-好的 謝謝你
This place is amazing!
這地方太贊了
I told you.
我早就告訴你了
[哈利波特小說中的魔法學(xué)校]
It's like Hogwarts!
就像霍格沃茨一樣
The ladybug sanctuary.
瓢蟲避難所
Oh, my gosh. The little cobblestones.
我的天啊 還有那些小鵝卵石
So sweet. I know.
太可愛了 我知道
Screw the duckies. We belong here.
去他的鴨鴨吧 我們屬于這里
Do you think they're gonna let us in?
你覺得他們會(huì)收我們嗎
Cam, relax.
小卡 放松一下
We're queer, we're here.
基佬就是好 學(xué)校任我挑
Yes, we are.
沒錯(cuò) 對(duì)極了
Okay. Just a few more minutes.
好了 再等幾分鐘
Thank you.
謝謝
Yes, thank you.
是的 謝謝
Hi. I'm Stephanie Kaner.
你好 我是斯蒂芬妮·卡萊爾
And this is Javar.
這是加佛
We have an interview with Mr. Plympton.
我們和普林普頓先生約好有個(gè)面試
Wonderful. These two are first. You'll be next.
真好 這兩位先來 你是下一個(gè)
Single white mother, black child.
單身白人母親 黑人小孩
So what?
那又怎樣
Lily's asian. We're gay.
莉莉是亞洲寶寶 我們是基佬
In the school admissions poker game,
在這場(chǎng)入學(xué)撲克賽中
we're the winning hand.
我們可是一手好牌
Oh, honey, sorry.
親愛的 不好意思
My partner Kavita.
這是我的伴侶卡維塔
Hi. Nice to meet you.
你好 很高興見到你
Hello. Nice to meet you.
你好 很高興見到你
It will be just a few minutes.
再等幾分鐘
Disabled interracial lesbians with an african kicker.
跨種族的殘疾拉拉帶著一個(gè)非洲娃娃
Did not see that coming.
始料未及
It's been a while since I read an actual newspaper.
我已經(jīng)有段時(shí)間沒看紙質(zhì)報(bào)紙了
Miss that sound.
真懷念那聲音啊
- No, no, no, no! - What is it?
-不會(huì)吧 不會(huì)吧 -怎么啦
Brady's injured.
布拉德受傷了
No! He's my whole team.
別這樣啊 他是整支隊(duì)伍的靈魂人物
I have to change my roster.
看來我得修改隊(duì)員名單了
Honey, if you can't do it over the phone,
親愛的 如果你在電話上不能搞定的話
You can't do it, because we're not buying Haley a car.
這事你就搞不定了 我們可不會(huì)為海莉買車
Yeah.-Yeah.
也是噢-你明白就好
Yeah.
好吧
Well...
那么
Well, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom.
我還是去浴室待著好了
Phil Dunphy, don't you even dream of it.
菲爾·鄧菲 你休想這樣做
Claire, all my friends are in that league.
克萊爾 我所有的朋友都在那個(gè)聯(lián)賽里
- I'm gonna like an idiot. - So what?
別人會(huì)以為我傻呢-那又怎么樣
So I paid a huge entrance fee.
我可是支付了高額的入會(huì)費(fèi)
- How huge? - Not huge. Tiny.
有多高額-也不是很高 一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)而已
Oh, my goodness. How is she not cracking up there?
我的天哪 什么事情把她樂成這樣
Listen to her.
瞧她樂的
No, I know, but do you know?
不 我知道 不過你知道嗎
Wait a minute. She's alone.
等等 她一個(gè)人待著呢
So?
然后呢
She's alone.
她一個(gè)人待著呢
Oh, my god.
娘親噢
I know. You should see her pants.
我知道 你真該看看她的短褲
I'll text it to you.
我用彩信發(fā)給你好了
Oh, wait. Okay. Hold on. I'll send it.
好的 等等 別掛 我會(huì)發(fā)給你的
Ha! Aha! Aha! Busted!
噢耶 被逮著了吧
Sophie, I have to call you back.
索菲 我等會(huì)兒再打給你
I knew it. I knew you couldn't do it.
我就知道 我就知道你沒法做到
I told you I'd outlast them.
我告訴你我肯定笑到最后
- This sucks! - What's going on?
真沒勁-這是怎么了
I'll tell you what's going on.
我來告訴你這是怎么了
I win.
爺贏了
Nobody gets a car, I dump Tom Brady,
汽車泡湯了 我得把湯姆·布拉德拋售了
and our long amish nightmare is over.
長(zhǎng)時(shí)間困擾我們的噩夢(mèng)終結(jié)了
I can't believe you thought
我真的不敢相信
you were gonna put one over on us.
你居然以為能戰(zhàn)勝我們
I can't believe
我也不敢相信
that he's actually already on the internet.
他居然已經(jīng)在上網(wǎng)了
Believe it, girl.
認(rèn)栽吧 孩子
- So, you're actually online right now? - Yep.
你現(xiàn)在真的在上網(wǎng)嗎-是滴
Well, then I hate to break it to you, daddy,
很好 那我不得不很遺憾地告訴你 老爹
but you lose.
你輸了
What?-What?
什么-什么
This isn't my phone.
這才不是我的手機(jī)呢
I carved it out of a bar of soap
是我用一塊肥皂刻成的
and colored it in with a marker.
然后又用記號(hào)筆給它上色
Phil, she carved a telephone out of a bar of soap.
菲爾 她居然用一塊肥皂刻了部手機(jī)出來
I can't believe it! I'm getting a car!
太激動(dòng)鳥 我就要有車?yán)?/p>
Holy crap. We've been shawshanked.
真扯淡 我們居然被忽悠了一把
Sorry about the delay.
抱歉來晚了
I was going over the plans for our new dance studio.
因?yàn)樾挛璧甘业囊?guī)劃一事耽誤了
Wow.
真棒
So, tell me about yourselves.
那么 你們先自我介紹下吧
Uh, well, I'm a lawyer.
好的 我是一名律師
Many of our applicants are attorneys.
我們的申請(qǐng)人中有很多律師
Of course.
當(dāng)然
What sets you apart?
你有什么出眾的地方嗎
Um, well, I --
我 我
While my white-man name is Tucker,
我的白人名字叫塔克
I am 1/16 Cherokee.
我有16分之一的徹羅基族血統(tǒng)
[北美原住民]
Ready for child to soar like eagle.
期望著孩子像雄鷹一般展翅高飛
Oh, god.
我的天哪
So, what are you saying?
你們是怎么個(gè)說法
You're not getting a car.
你得不到汽車
But I won.
但是我贏了啊
Yes, but we never thought you would.
是的 但是我們之前從未想過你居然會(huì)贏
So?
然后呢
So, congratulations on your victory.
然后 恭喜你的勝利
Nobody can ever take that away from you.
沒人能奪走這份榮譽(yù)
So true. Mm-hmm.
言之有理
But I spent two days in my room
可是我在房間里
talking to a bar of soap.
對(duì)著塊肥皂自言自語了兩天啊
It's not fair.
這不公平
It's totally not fair.
一點(diǎn)都不公平
We're outraged.
我們也義憤填膺
Bad parenting.
我們不是好父母
But we had a deal.
可我們之前說好的啊
Which, in hindsight, was utter nonsense.
事后諸葛亮 事前豬一樣
Hey.
你們好啊
We hated Billingsley.
我們討厭比林斯利
The place is so stupid. Ugh!
那地方簡(jiǎn)直愚蠢至極
You blew the interview, didn't you?
面試泡湯的是吧
Lesbians.
殺出一對(duì)拉拉
In a wheelchair.
其中一個(gè)還坐輪椅
Oh.
不會(huì)吧
You still mad at me?
你還生我氣呢
You tell me.
你說呢
What is this?
這是什么
I've been thinking if you said as much about America
我在想 我一直在詆毀哥倫比亞
as I said about Colombia, I'd be plenty ticked off.
如果你也像我那樣詆毀美國 我早就氣冒煙了
Doesn't make up for everything, but...
這彌補(bǔ)不了什么 只是
A trip to Colombia?
去哥倫比亞的旅行
I want to see your village, learn your culture.
我想看看你們的村莊 學(xué)習(xí)下你們的文化
I love you.
我愛你
I'm sure I'm gonna love where you come from.
毫無疑問無論你來自哪里我都愛你
Aw, Jay. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
杰 謝謝 謝謝 謝謝
No way he's going to my village.
他想去我的村莊 沒門
I was in two car accidents when I was living there.
我住在那的時(shí)候出過兩次車禍
Both times I hit a goat.
兩次都是撞上了一只山羊
One was hurt pretty bad.
其中一次還傷得挺重
But it was a good thing I had a shovel in the trunk.
不過好在我后備箱里放著把鏟子
The tribe builter fortold that
族長(zhǎng)預(yù)言過
though I lay with fire-haired man,
雖然我會(huì)與金毛男結(jié)合
the giving hawk would bring us baby
送子雄鷹會(huì)給我們
with her skin the color of sweet corn,
玉米色肌膚的孩子
which my people call maize.
我們的族人稱之為黃金之子
Please stop.
快別說了
Well, um...
好吧
Knowledge is her sustenance,
知識(shí)就是她的養(yǎng)料
like so much maize --
就像那么多的玉米
which, you'll remember, means "Corn."
玉米這個(gè)詞你應(yīng)該記得住吧
What if I was a single dad?
如果我是個(gè)單身父親呢