第三章
He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Dating You
如果他不跟你約會(huì),那他只是沒(méi)那么喜歡你
"Hanging Out" is Not Dating
“出去玩兒”并不是約會(huì)
Oh, there seem to be so many variations to dating,particularly in the early stages of a relationship.
哦,看起來(lái)約會(huì)有很多的變數(shù),尤其是在戀愛(ài)初期。
So many gray, murky areas of vagueness, mystery,and no questions asked.
很多模糊、神秘、無(wú)條件的灰色朦朧地帶。
Dudes love this time because that's when they get to pretend they're not really dating you.
男人們喜歡這段時(shí)間,因?yàn)樗麄兛梢约傺b并沒(méi)有在跟你約會(huì)。
Then they also get to pretend they're not really responsible for your feelings.
而且他們還可以假裝不需為你的感情負(fù)責(zé)。
When you ask someone out on a real bonafide date, you're making it official: I'd like to see youalone and find out if we have a romantic future together (or at least pretend to listen to you whileI ponder whether you're wearing a thong) .
當(dāng)你邀請(qǐng)某人進(jìn)行一次充滿誠(chéng)意的約會(huì)時(shí),那是很正式的:我希望能和你單獨(dú)見(jiàn)面,試試我們是否能開(kāi)展一段感情。(或者至少在我打量你是否穿著人字拖的時(shí)候假裝在聽(tīng)你講話)。
In case you need more clues: There's usually a public excursion, a meal, and some hand-holdinginvolved.
以防你需要更多的提示:它通常涉及公共游覽、一頓飯和牽手。
The "He Just Got Out of a Relationship" Excuse
“他剛結(jié)束一段感情”的借口
Dear Greg,
親愛(ài)的格雷格,
I'm really, really in love. I want to say that first.
我首先申明,我是真的真的墜入了愛(ài)河。
I've been sleeping with a really, really good friend of mine who recently got out of a terriblemarriage.
我和我一個(gè)特別特別要好的朋友睡了,他剛擺脫一段糟糕的婚姻。
Because he is in the process of going through a very traumatic breakup, he's really clear that hecan't have any kind of expectations or demands put on him in any way.
由于他正處于痛苦的分手中,他十分明確自己無(wú)法承擔(dān)任何形式的期望和要求。
Basically, he wants to come and go as he pleases.
總而言之,他希望自己能隨心所欲自由來(lái)去。
We've been seeing each other and sleeping together for six months now.
我們戀愛(ài)并一起睡了半年了。
It's very painful not to be able to have any say about when or how often I get to see him.
無(wú)權(quán)置喙什么時(shí)候、多久見(jiàn)他讓我十分痛苦。
Yet it's also very painful to think about not being with him.
但是想象無(wú)法和他在一起也很痛苦。
I don't like being in this powerless a position, but I feel like if I hold out, eventually he'll be mine.
我不喜歡處于這樣的弱勢(shì)地位,但是我覺(jué)得如果我堅(jiān)持住了,他遲早會(huì)屬于我。
But it's very difficult for me in the meantime. What should I do?
但在此期間我處境艱難。我該怎么辦呢?
Sighed Lisa
麗莎