銀行
Banks will loan you money if you can prove you don't need it.
銀行會(huì)貸款給你,如果你能證明你并不需要這筆錢(qián)。
Bank accounts give a person a good feeling until theyrealize that banks are insured by an agency of afederal government that's over $2 trillion in debt.
有銀行賬戶會(huì)讓人感覺(jué)良好,可等他們知道銀行因?yàn)榍穫?萬(wàn)億而被聯(lián)邦政府部門(mén)上了保險(xiǎn)之后呢。
Banks have a very interesting philosophy. You give them your money to keep--and if you try toborrow it back, they want to know if you're good for it!
銀行有一套有趣的哲學(xué)。你把你的錢(qián)放在他們那里保管,當(dāng)你想借回時(shí),他們卻要你證明自己的資信!
I just went partners with my bank. They own half my car.
我剛和我的銀行合股,他們擁有我的車(chē)的一半產(chǎn)權(quán)。
Even my bank doesn't have confidence in me. I have three things printed on my checks: myname, address and insufficient funds.
我的銀行都不信任我。我的支票上印了三樣?xùn)|西:我的姓名、我的地址和短缺資金。
Banks are very much concerned with the best interest of your own. And they get it!
銀行非常在乎本城最好的利率,他們確實(shí)拿到了!
A bank is a dignified institution that was established for people to have a place to keep thegovernment's money until tax time.
銀行是個(gè)莊嚴(yán)的機(jī)構(gòu),它的設(shè)立是為了讓人們能有地方在交稅日前保存政府的錢(qián)。
The first drive-in bank was established so that people could show their cars who really ownedthem.
第一家汽車(chē)(駛?cè)?銀行建立了,這樣人們就能把他們的車(chē)展示給真正擁有它們的人了。
Why are there bank robbers? Bank ads make it seem like it's easier to just walk in and get aloan.
為什么會(huì)有人搶劫銀行?銀行的廣告使他們覺(jué)得這樣走進(jìn)去就得到一筆貸款更容易些。
I must have a dishonest face. The bank asks me for ID when I deposit money.
我一定長(zhǎng)著一張不誠(chéng)實(shí)的臉,不然為什么我去銀行存錢(qián)時(shí),他們還管我要身份證。
If bankers can count, how come they always have ten windows and two tellers?
如果開(kāi)銀行的會(huì)數(shù)數(shù),他們?cè)趺茨苡?0個(gè)窗口卻總是只坐著兩個(gè)出納。
A guy walked into a bank and said, "I want to open a joint account with somebody who hasmoney."
一個(gè)人走進(jìn)銀行說(shuō):“我想和一個(gè)有錢(qián)的人開(kāi)一個(gè)聯(lián)合賬戶。”
Last week I got a $5000 home improvement loan from my bank. I'm sending the kids tocollege.
上星期我得到了5000美元的房貸,我要用這錢(qián)送孩子們上大學(xué)。
One bank opened a branch near a cemetery. In the window the president put a sign that read, "You can't take it with you when you go, but here's a chance to be near it."
一家銀行在公墓邊開(kāi)了個(gè)分行。他們的總裁在銀行窗戶上掛了一塊廣告牌,上面寫(xiě)著:“你不能帶著它走,但放在我們這里會(huì)讓你離它近些。”
I tried to open an account in the bank yesterday, but they turned me down.
昨天我想在銀行開(kāi)個(gè)賬戶,可他們拒絕了我。
Why?
為什么?
I wanted to open a charge account!
我想開(kāi)個(gè)賒欠戶。