Joe Kowan: I have stage fright. I've always had stage fright, and not just a little bit, it's a big bit. And it didn't even matter until I was 27. That's when I started writing songs, and even then I only played them for myself. Just knowing my roommates were in the same house made me uncomfortable.
我有怯場(chǎng)的毛病 (演講者:?jiǎn)?middot;科文) 我一直都怯場(chǎng) 不是一點(diǎn)點(diǎn) 是非常嚴(yán)重的怯場(chǎng) 27 歲之前,這毛病對(duì)我都沒(méi)什幺影響 在 27 歲那年,我開(kāi)始寫(xiě)歌 那時(shí)只唱給自己聽(tīng) 但一想到室友就在隔壁,我就會(huì)覺(jué)得不自在
But after a couple of years, just writing songs wasn't enough. I had all these stories and ideas, and I wanted to share them with people, but physiologically, I couldn't do it. I had this irrational fear. But the more I wrote, and the more I practiced, the more I wanted to perform.
幾年后,我不再滿足于單純寫(xiě)歌 我有很多故事和創(chuàng)意想跟人們分享 但生理上,我做不到 就因?yàn)檫@沒(méi)來(lái)由的緊張恐慌 但我寫(xiě)的歌得越多,練得越多 就越想表演給大家看
So on the week of my 30th birthday, I decided I was going to go to this local open mic, and put this fear behind me. Well, when I got there, it was packed. There were like 20 people there. (Laughter) And they all looked angry. But I took a deep breath, and I signed up to play, and I felt pretty good.
所以在我 30 歲生日那一周 我決定參加社區(qū)開(kāi)麥表演 暫時(shí)把怯場(chǎng)的問(wèn)題拋在腦后 到了那兒,我發(fā)現(xiàn)已經(jīng)人山人海 大概有 20 個(gè)人在那里 (笑聲) 他們看起來(lái)都很瘋狂 我深吸一口氣,在表演報(bào)名單上簽了名 當(dāng)時(shí)感覺(jué)還不錯(cuò)
Pretty good, until about 10 minutes before my turn, when my whole body rebelled, and this wave of anxiety just washed over me. Now, when you experience fear, your sympathetic nervous system kicks in. So you have a rush of adrenaline, your heart rate increases, your breathing gets faster. Next your non-essential systems start to shut down, like digestion. (Laughter) So your mouth gets dry, and blood is routed away from your extremities, so your fingers don't work anymore. Your pupils dilate, your muscles contract, your Spidey sense tingles, basically your whole body is trigger-happy. (Laughter) That condition is not conducive to performing folk music. (Laughter) I mean, your nervous system is an idiot. Really?
一直到表演前 10 分鐘,我都自我感覺(jué)良好 接著,我全身開(kāi)始不聽(tīng)使喚 整個(gè)人也變得非常不安 聽(tīng)我說(shuō),當(dāng)你害怕時(shí) 交感神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)就開(kāi)始發(fā)揮作用 你會(huì)腎上腺素增高,心跳加速 呼吸變急促 那些不太重要的系統(tǒng)開(kāi)始關(guān)閉,比如消化系統(tǒng) (笑聲) 你會(huì)感到口干舌燥,四肢供血不足 手指變得僵硬 你的瞳孔變大,肌肉收縮 你的蜘蛛俠第六感也開(kāi)始發(fā)揮作用 基本上,你整個(gè)人處于高度備戰(zhàn)狀態(tài) (笑聲) 只是,這狀態(tài)很不適合表演民謠 (笑聲) 我的意思是,你的神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)基本報(bào)廢了 不信?
Two hundred thousand years of human evolution, and it still can't tell the difference between a saber tooth tiger and 20 folksingers on a Tuesday night open mic? (Laughter) I have never been more terrified -- until now. (Laughter and cheers)
經(jīng)過(guò)二十萬(wàn)年人類進(jìn)化 它卻分不清劍齒虎和 參加周二晚間開(kāi)麥表演的 20 名民謠歌手 (笑聲) 我從沒(méi)那幺緊張過(guò),不過(guò)現(xiàn)在更緊張 (笑聲,鼓勵(lì)聲)
So then it was my turn, and somehow, I get myself onto the stage, I start my song, I open my mouth to sing the first line, and this completely horrible vibrato -- you know, when your voice wavers -- comes streaming out. And this is not the good kind of vibrato, like an opera singer has, this is my whole body just convulsing with fear. I mean, it's a nightmare. I'm embarrassed, the audience is clearly uncomfortable, they're focused on my discomfort. It was so bad. But that was my first real experience as a solo singer-songwriter.
然后該我表演了 我掙扎著走上舞臺(tái),開(kāi)始唱歌 我開(kāi)口唱第一句歌詞 發(fā)出的卻是可怕的顫音 就是嗓音顫抖時(shí)發(fā)出的聲音 但不是歌劇演員那種好聽(tīng)的顫音 而是因?yàn)楹ε拢戆l(fā)抖發(fā)出的聲音 那真是一場(chǎng)噩夢(mèng) 我尷尬極了,觀眾也很不自在 他們只在關(guān)注我的局促不安了 真是太糟了 這就是我作為唱作歌手的第一次個(gè)人表演經(jīng)歷
And something good did happen -- I had the tiniest little glimpse of that audience connection that I was hoping for. And I wanted more. But I knew I had to get past this nervousness.
當(dāng)然,也發(fā)生了值得高興的事 我微微感受到了 希望跟觀眾達(dá)成的共鳴 我想它讓更強(qiáng)烈 當(dāng)然,我知道必須先解決怯場(chǎng)的問(wèn)題
That night I promised myself: I would go back every week until I wasn't nervous anymore. And I did. I went back every single week, and sure enough, week after week, it didn't get any better. The same thing happened every week. (Laughter) I couldn't shake it.
那一晚,我向自己許諾: 從今往后,每周都參加開(kāi)麥表演 直到不感到緊張為止 我的確這樣做了,每周都去 經(jīng)過(guò)了一周又一周,果然 情況一點(diǎn)兒都沒(méi)好轉(zhuǎn),每次上臺(tái)還是怯場(chǎng) (笑聲) 我實(shí)在擺脫不掉它
And that's when I had an epiphany. And I remember it really well, because I don't have a lot of epiphanies. (Laughter) All I had to do was write a song that exploits my nervousness. That only seems authentic when I have stage fright, and the more nervous I was, the better the song would be. Easy. So I started writing a song about having stage fright. First, fessing up to the problem, the physical manifestations, how I would feel, how the listener might feel. And then accounting for things like my shaky voice, and I knew I would be singing about a half-octave higher than normal, because I was nervous. By having a song that explained what was happening to me, while it was happening, that gave the audience permission to think about it. They didn't have to feel bad for me because I was nervous, they could experience that with me, and we were all one big happy, nervous, uncomfortable family. (Laughter)
直到有一天我靈光一現(xiàn) 那一刻我記得非常清楚,因?yàn)槲异`光一現(xiàn)的時(shí)候不多 (笑聲) 我唯一需要做的,就是寫(xiě)一首表達(dá)我緊張的歌 只有當(dāng)我怯場(chǎng)的時(shí)候,這首歌才更有感染力 我越緊張 就能把歌演繹得越好。這太好辦了 于是我開(kāi)始著手創(chuàng)作一首關(guān)于怯場(chǎng)的歌 先坦承自己有怯場(chǎng)的毛病 說(shuō)說(shuō)都有哪些生理表現(xiàn),有什幺心理感受 談?wù)劼?tīng)眾的感受 然后再做些解釋,比如為什幺會(huì)發(fā)出顫音 我知道因?yàn)榫o張 我的音比正常高半個(gè)八度 有了這幺一首解釋我狀態(tài)的歌 當(dāng)我怯場(chǎng)時(shí) 觀眾就不會(huì)覺(jué)得太突兀 他們不必因?yàn)槲揖o張而擔(dān)心我 他們可以和我經(jīng)歷這一切 我們是開(kāi)心快樂(lè)、局促不安的大家庭 (笑聲)
By thinking about my audience, by embracing and exploiting my problem, I was able to take something that was blocking my progress, and turn it into something that was essential for my success. And having the stage fright song let me get past that biggest issue right in the beginning of a performance. And then I could move on, and play the rest of my songs with just a little bit more ease. And eventually, over time, I didn't have to play the stage fright song at all. Except for when I was really nervous, like now. (Laughter)
我去體會(huì)聽(tīng)眾的感受,接受并利用自己怯場(chǎng)的問(wèn)題 從而挖出阻礙我前進(jìn)的因素 然后把它轉(zhuǎn)化為成功的必備要素 這首怯場(chǎng)歌幫我解決了 開(kāi)場(chǎng)表演最大的障礙 這樣我就能繼續(xù)唱下去 稍微輕松地表演其他歌曲 最終,我甚至完全不需要再唱這首怯場(chǎng)歌了 除了我的確非常緊張的時(shí)候,比如現(xiàn)在 (笑聲)
Would it be okay if I played the stage fright song for you? (Applause)
可以為大家唱一次怯場(chǎng)歌嗎 (掌聲)
Can I have a sip of water? (Music) Thank you.
我可以喝口水嗎 (音樂(lè)) 謝謝
I'm not joking, you know,this stage fright is real. And if I'm up here trembling and singing, well, you'll know how I feel. And the mistake I'd be making, the tremolo caused by my whole body shaking. As you sit there feeling embarrassed for me,well, you don't have to be. Well, maybe just a little bit. (Laughter)And maybe I'll try to imagine you all without clothes.But singing in front of all naked strangers scares me more than anyone knows.Not to discuss this at length,but my body image was never my strength.So frankly, I wish that you all would get dressed,I mean, you're not even really naked.And I'm the one with the problem. And you tell me, don't worry so much, you'll be great. But I'm the one living with me and I know how I get. Your advice is gentle but late. If not just a bit patronizing. And that sarcastic tone doesn't help me when I sing.But we shouldn't talk about these things right now, really, I'm up on stage, and you're in the crowd.
嘿,我沒(méi)開(kāi)玩笑 我真的怯場(chǎng) 如果我在臺(tái)上一邊發(fā)抖一邊歌唱 你會(huì)知道我的感受 我還會(huì)搞砸發(fā)出顫音 那是全身發(fā)抖的杰作 不用替我尷尬 哦,真的不用 好吧,可以有一點(diǎn) (笑聲) 我會(huì)想象你們都沒(méi)穿衣裳 但在一群躶體陌生人前唱歌更讓我緊張 不要細(xì)說(shuō)下去 身材從不是我的強(qiáng)項(xiàng) 老實(shí)說(shuō),我希望大家都正裝出席 我的意思是,不要真的什幺也不穿 我才是有問(wèn)題的那個(gè)人 你們跟我說(shuō),不要太煩惱,一定能唱好 我一直都陪著自己 我知道該怎樣做 你的建議很貼心,但來(lái)得有點(diǎn)晚 就算你不是神氣十足 那挖苦的語(yǔ)調(diào)也讓我唱不好 但現(xiàn)在我們不需要談?wù)撨@些 真的,我在臺(tái)上,你在臺(tái)下。
Hi. And I'm not making fun of unnurtured, irrrational fear, and if I wasn't ready to face this, I sure as hell wouldn't be here. But if I belt one note out clearly, you'll know I'm recovering slowly but surely. And maybe next week, I'll set my guitar ringin'my voice clear as water, and everyone singin'. But probably I'll just get up and start groovin', my vocal cords movin',at speeds slightly faster than sound.
~ 嗨 我沒(méi)有拿這莫名其妙的恐慌開(kāi)玩笑 如果沒(méi)準(zhǔn)備好去面對(duì) 我也不會(huì)站在這里 如果我清晰將一個(gè)音符彈唱 你會(huì)明白我在恢復(fù),慢卻穩(wěn)當(dāng) 或許,下周我會(huì)把吉他奏響 我的聲音清澈如水,大家一起歌唱 或許,我會(huì)走上臺(tái),漸入佳境 聲帶不停震動(dòng) 快得超過(guò)聲速