生活大爆炸第一季第十五集Sheldon的妹妹來了事件

[00:00.00] [00:01.76]on the other hand,some physicists are concerned that 另一方面 有的物理學(xué)家擔(dān)憂 [00:05.12]if this supercollider actually works, 一旦超級粒子加速器研制成功 [00:06.68]it'll create a black hole and swallow up the earth, 它將會制造一個黑洞 吞沒整個地球 [00:09.12]ending life as we know it. 結(jié)束一切生命 [00:11.48]what a bunch of crybabies. 物理學(xué)家真是幫膽小鬼 [00:13.68]No guts,no glory,man. 舍不得孩子套不到狼嘛 [00:16.12]Hey,check it out. 快瞧這個 [00:16.44]The school of pharmacology is looking for volunteers. 藥理學(xué)院在征召志愿者 [00:19.56]"We are testing a new medication "for social anxiety, "我們需要測試一種新藥物 主治社交憂慮 [00:21.48]panic attacks,agoraphobia and obsessive compulsive disorder." 驚慌失措 陌生環(huán)境恐懼以及強(qiáng)迫癥" [00:29.12]Why would they be looking for test subjects here? 他們?yōu)槭裁磥磉@兒找測試對象? [00:31.48]I don't know,raj. 我不知道 Raj [00:34.36]Maybe the comic book store doesn't have a bulletin board. 因為漫畫店里沒有公告板吧 [00:38.36]What's going on? 你們在干嘛? [00:40.12]hot girl in sheldon's office. Sheldon辦公室有美女! [00:43.28]Sheldon's office? Sheldond的辦公室? [00:45.84]Is she lost? 她迷路了吧? [00:50.08]I don't think so. 我想不是 [00:50.56]I followed her here from the parking lot. 我從停車場一直跟蹤她到這里 [00:55.28]Maybe she's his lawyer. 可能是他的律師吧 [00:56.56]Well,she's free to examine my briefs. 她可以隨意檢查 我的公文包("貼身短內(nèi)褲") [00:57.32]-Howard. -I know,I'm disgusting. - Howard - 我知道 這樣很猥瑣 [00:59.80]I should be punished... by her. 應(yīng)該受罰...任她處置 [01:01.48]Oh,look,I did it again. 天呀 我又胡來了 [01:03.28]That should do it. 這樣就可以了 [01:04.100]Thank you for coming by. 謝謝你來這一趟 [01:13.88]Hello. 大家好 [01:16.28]-Oh,hey,buddy... -"buddy..."? - 嗨 哥們兒 - 哥們兒? [01:23.00]Sorry I'm late. 對不起我來遲了 [01:22.84]I'm working on a project that 一直在忙項目 [01:25.56]may take me up on the next space shuttle. 我得參加下次的宇航飛行 [01:29.88]How can you be late? 什么叫來遲了? [01:28.20]I wasn't expecting you at all. 我根本沒叫你來 [01:32.64]Nobody ever expects me. 沒有人能叫我來 [01:32.36]Sometimes you just look and... bam! 你得到處找尋 然后... 砰! [01:36.04]Howard wolowitz. 我是Howard Wolowitz [01:39.72]Sheldon,are you gonna introduce us? Sheldon 快介紹介紹嘛 [01:39.88]Oh,all right. Uh,this is missy. 好吧 這位是Missy [01:43.24]Missy,this is leonard and rajesh, Missy 這是Leonard Rajesh [01:43.00]and you've already met howard. 和你已經(jīng)見識過的Howard [01:46.48]It's nice to meet you. 很高興見到你們 [01:47.88]You,too,as well,also. Yeah. 我也...一樣...同樣... 是的 [01:51.76]So,how do you two know each other? 你們兩個怎么認(rèn)識的? [01:54.04]Oh,he once spent nine months 他有一次 花了九個月的時間 [01:56.52]with my legs wrapped around his head. 把腦袋擱在我兩條腿之間 [01:60.64]Excuse me? 什么意思? [02:04.24]She's my twin sister. 她是我的雙胞胎妹妹 [02:03.16]She thinks she's funny,but frankly, 她自以為很幽默 不過說實話 [02:07.96]I've never been able to see it. 我從來都不覺得 [02:08.44]That's because you have no measurable sense of humor,shelly. 那是因為你的幽默感 少到可以忽略不計 Shelly [02:12.04]How exactly would one measure sea nse of humor? 幽默感怎么可以測量呢? [02:13.40]A humormometer? 幽默感計量表? [02:17.24]Well,I think you're delightfully droll. 我覺得你很風(fēng)趣幽默 [02:20.28]Or,as the french say,trs drale. 法國人常說 "très drole(很好笑)" (Howard發(fā)音是錯的) [02:24.60]Okay,so let me see if I got this. 好了 看看我記憶力如何 [02:26.08]Leonard,howard and... I'm sorry,what was your name again? Leonard Howard和... 不好意思 你叫什么來著? [02:57.04]Rajesh. Rajesh [02:60.04] [03:15.32] the big bang theory Season 1 Episode 15 天才理論傳 第一季 第15集 [03:23.80]So missy,what brings you all the way from texas? Missy 什么風(fēng)把你從德克薩斯吹來了? [03:26.64]Was it perhaps destiny? I think it was destiny. 命運之風(fēng) 我想是命運之風(fēng) [03:29.32]My friend's getting married at disneyland tomorrow night. 我朋友明晚在迪士尼樂園結(jié)婚 [03:32.04]Destiny,thy name is anaheim. 命運啊 你的名字就是阿納海姆! (加州迪士尼樂園所在地) [03:37.32]And I had to drop off some papers for shelly 我還要給Shelly捎點文件 [03:37.44]to sign for my dad's estate. 給爸爸的不動產(chǎn)簽字 [03:38.68]The papers could've been mailed. 文件郵寄就可以了 [03:40.52]Mom just sent you here to spy on me,didn't she? 媽媽讓你來監(jiān)視我的 對吧? [03:42.20]I guess that's why they call you a genius. 這就是為什么他們叫你天才 [03:44.100]They call me a genius because I'm a genius. 他們叫我天才因為我就是天才 [03:50.80]Tell mom that I currently weigh 165 pounds 告訴媽媽 我現(xiàn)在165磅重 [03:52.20]and that I'm having regular bowel movements. 我的腸道運動相當(dāng)規(guī)律 [03:55.04]Enjoy the wedding. Good-bye. 婚禮玩得愉快 再見 [03:59.08]If the wedding's not until tomorrow, 既然明天才舉行婚禮 [04:01.32]why don't you stay with us tonight? 今晚為何不和我們同住呢? [04:04.88]Oh,I don't think so. 還是算了吧 [04:05.96]Shelly doesn't like company. Shelly不喜歡有人陪 [04:07.16]Even as a little boy, 他還是個小男孩的時候 [04:07.32]he'd send his imaginary friends home at the end of the day. 晚上都會把想象中的朋友送回家 [04:11.40]They were not friends. 他們不是我的朋友 [04:13.64]They were imaginary colleagues. 他們是我想象中的同事 [04:15.80]Look,you're here. We have plenty of room. 你瞧 你人都來了 我們房子又有足夠的地方 [04:16.36]No,we don'T. 我們沒有啊 [04:17.04]Come on,shelly. She's family. 拜托 Shelly 這可是家里人吶 [04:20.64]So what,ion't issue invitations to your mother. 那又怎樣 我也沒邀你媽媽住過 [04:24.64]Well,it would be nice not to have to drive to anaheim in rush hour. 不用在交通高峰期 開車去阿納海姆真好 [04:29.08]And don't ever call me shelly. 不許再叫我Shelly [04:29.88]So it's settled: You'll stay with us. 那就定了 你和我們住一起 [04:32.52]Yeah,I'll walk you to your car. 我陪去你取車 [04:33.52]You're in structure 3,level c,right? 在三區(qū)C層 沒錯吧? [04:41.48]What just happened? 剛才是怎么一回事? [04:44.96]So anyway,we're eight years old 不管怎樣 我們那時8歲 [04:45.96]and sheldon converts my easy bake oven Sheldon把我的簡易烤爐 [04:48.80]to some kind of high-powered furnace. 改裝成了高能鍋爐 [04:52.04]just classic. 太經(jīng)典了 [04:53.84]I needed a place to fire ceramic semiconductor substrates 我想烤一烤瓷半導(dǎo)體基 [04:55.40]for homemade integrated circuits. 做一套自制電路 [04:59.20]He was trying to build some sort of armed robot 他竟做了個武裝機(jī)器人 [05:01.40]to keep me out of his room. 阻止我進(jìn)他房間 [05:02.60]Made necessary by her insistence on going into my room. 她執(zhí)意要進(jìn) 我不得不做 [05:05.24]Anyway,I go to make those little corn muffins they give you. 我去做那種你們吃的玉米松餅 [05:09.68]There's a big flash. 巨大的火光一閃 [05:09.92]Next thing you know my eyebrows are gone. 我回過神來眉毛就已經(jīng)燒沒了 [05:12.80]not your eyebrows. 不會吧 咋燒眉毛呢 [05:16.16]Yep,I had to go through the entire second grade 沒錯 整個二年級我都 [05:19.64]with crooked eyebrows my mom drew on. 頂著媽媽畫的逗號眉去上學(xué) [05:22.20]Is that what that was? 不就應(yīng)該這樣嗎? [05:22.32]I just assumed that the second grade curriculum 我認(rèn)為二年級的課程表 [05:26.32]had rendered you quizzical. 和你那造型相得益彰 [05:29.68]hey,leonard,you left your underwear in the dryer downstairs. Leonard你把內(nèi)褲忘在 樓下的烘干機(jī)里了 [05:39.76]Those are not mine. 那不是我的 [05:42.28]Really? They have your little name label in them. 真的嗎? 標(biāo)簽上面還寫了你名字呢 [05:47.48]Yeah... no,I do... I... I use those,uh, 嗯...我用這個...唔... [05:49.04]just to polish up my spearfishing equipment. 來擦我的魚叉 [05:56.72]I spearfish. 我用魚叉捕魚 [05:59.32]When I'm not crossbow hunting,I spearfish. 我不用弩打獵時 就用魚叉捕魚 [06:04.40]Uh,penny,this is sheldon's twin sister,missy. Penny 這是Sheldon的孿生妹妹 Missy [06:08.92]-Missy,this is our neighbor,penny. -Hi. - Missy 這是我們的鄰居 Penny - 你好 [06:10.56]you don't look that much alike. 你倆長得可不大像 [06:10.92]Can I get a hallelujah? 謝天謝地 [06:16.16]Fraternal twins come from two separate eggs. 我們是異卵雙胞胎 [06:17.56]They are no more alike than any other siblings. 不比其他兄妹更相像 [06:19.84]Hallelujah! 謝天謝地 [06:22.56]Hey,guess what. 嗨 猜猜怎么了 [06:24.52]I've been accepted as a test subject for a new miracle drug 我被選為一種神奇新藥物 的測試對象了 [06:24.100]to overcome pathological shyness. 來克服病態(tài)羞怯感 [06:28.52]Oh,good for you,raj. 恭喜你 Raj [06:29.76]Yes,I'm very hopeful. 是的 我滿懷希望 [06:32.60]Hello,missy. 你好 Missy [06:42.04]They mentioned there may be side effects. 他們說會有副作用的 [06:47.84]So,missy,have you ever met a man Missy 你有沒有見過 [06:49.12]from the exotic subcontinent of india? 來自充滿異國情調(diào)的 印度次大陸的男人? [06:54.00]Well,there's dr. Patel at our church. 見過 我們教堂的Patel博士 [06:55.32]Ah,yes,patel-- good man. 對 Patel 很好的人 [06:57.64]Do you like motorcycles? 'Cause I ride a hog. 你喜歡摩托車嗎 我有輛HOG (哈雷擁有者協(xié)會的車) [07:03.56]A hog? HOG? [07:03.80]You have a two-cylinder scooter with a basket in the front. 你有的是 前面帶籃子的兩缸電動車 [07:08.80]You still have to wear a helmet. 反正都帶頭盔嘛 [07:10.04]Have you ever heard of the kama sutra? 你聽說過伽摩經(jīng)嗎? [07:12.16]-The sex book. -the indian sex book. - 性典? - 印度性典! [07:17.80]In other words,if you "wonder,wonder 也就是說 如果你想知道 [07:19.36]who wrote the book of love," it was us. 是誰寫了愛之典籍 是我們印度人! [07:22.88]-So,sheldon's sister is pretty cute -I wasn't staring. - Sheldon的妹妹很有魅力 - 我沒盯著她看 [07:27.92]I didn't say you were. I just said she was cute. 我沒說你看了 我只是說她很有魅力 [07:30.88]Oh,maybe,if you like women who are tall... and perfect. 還行吧 如果你喜歡高個子... 又完美的女人 [07:41.80]Sheldon,why are you ignoring your sister? Sheldon你為什么不理你妹妹? [07:45.16]I'm not ignoring my sister. I'm ignoring all of you. 我不是不理她 我是無視你們所有人 [07:48.32]I brought snacks! 我拿了小零食 [07:51.12]Oh,my,gherkins and... 哦 天呀 腌黃瓜和... [07:54.84]onion dip.It's onion dip. 洋蔥醬 那個是洋蔥蘸醬 [07:58.20]We don't entertain much. 我們不常款待客人 [08:04.96]Missy. Do you enjoy pajamas? Missy 你喜歡寬松睡衣嗎? [08:06.72]I guess. 我想是的 [08:06.48]Yeah,we indians invented them. 那是我們印度人發(fā)明的 [08:09.60]You're welcome. 不用客氣 [08:14.92]Yeah,well,my people invented circumcision. 我們猶太人發(fā)明了割禮 [08:20.52]You're welcome. 不用客氣 [08:25.00]Missy,I'm gonna go get my nails done. Missy 我要去做美甲 [08:25.80]-Do you want to come? -God,yes. - 你想來嗎? - 求之不得 [08:27.44]-Thanks. -You're welcome. - 謝謝 - 不用客氣 [08:32.20]Bye,guys. 伙計們再見 [08:32.44]-Bye,missy. -Bye,missy,see you. - Missy 再見 - Missy 再見 一會兒見 [08:33.24]-Good-bye,leonard. -Oh,yeah,no,uh,bye,penny. - 再見 Leonard - 是...不... 再見 Penny [08:39.08]Okay,you two have to back off. 你們兩個得靠邊站 [08:41.60]Why should I back off? You back off,dude. 憑什么要我靠邊站 你怎么不靠邊站? [08:42.32]Excuse me,this is my apartment,and she's my roommate's sister. 拜托 這是我的公寓 她是我室友的妹妹 [08:45.40]So what? You've already got penny! 那又怎樣 你都已經(jīng)有Penny了 [08:48.68]How do I have penny? 我哪里有Penny了? [08:47.72]In what universe do I have penny? 你哪只眼睛看見我有Penny了? [08:51.76]-So I can have penny? -Hell,no! - 那我能要Penny了嗎? - 沒門! [08:56.28]Excuse me. Can I interject something? 打擾一下 我能說句話嗎? [08:60.16]I'm ordering pizza online. 我正在網(wǎng)上預(yù)定比薩呢 [08:60.60]Is everyone okay with pepperoni? 意大利辣香腸的行嗎? [09:04.20]-Sheldon,can I talk to you in private? -I guess. - Sheldon 我能和你私下談?wù)剢? - 我猜行 [09:09.96]Don't worry. I was going to order you cheese-less. 別著急 我給你預(yù)訂了不加奶酪的 [09:10.40]-Thank you. -It's okay. - 謝謝 - 不客氣 [09:11.40]Lactose intolerance is nothing to be embarrassed about. 你不耐乳糖 這沒什么可害羞的 [09:17.92]I'm a fancy indian man. We invented pajamas. 我是了不起的印度人 我們發(fā)明了寬松睡衣 [09:21.00]Hey,look at me. I don't have a foreskin. 嗨 快瞧 我沒有包皮 [09:30.40]Sheldon... Sheldon... [09:35.84]are you aware that your sister 你有沒有意識到 你妹妹 [09:35.88]is an incredibly attractive woman? 非常的性感有魅力? [09:39.24]she certainly has the symmetry and low body fat 她長得很對稱 身體脂肪比很低 [09:41.20]that western culture deems desirable. 西方文化是推崇的 [09:44.68]It's noteworthy,at other points in history, 值得一提的是 在某些歷史階段 [09:48.56]heavier women were the standard for beauty 胖一些的女性才符合標(biāo)準(zhǔn)美 [09:50.08]because their girth suggested affluence. 因為她們的腰圍顯示了財富 [09:53.04]-That's fascinating,but... -I didn't say it was fascinating. - 這非常有趣 但是... - 我沒有說這很有趣 [09:54.36]I said it was noteworthy. 我說這是值得一提的 [09:58.84]All right,but... noted. 好的 但是...我注意到了 [10:01.20]My point is that koothrappali and wolowitz, 我想說的是Koothrappali 和Wolowitz, [10:04.40]they're hitting on your sister. 他們看上你妹妹了 [10:06.40]Oh,it'S... 實在是... [10:08.72]oh,ay. 好吧 [10:12.20]You know,I don't want to criticize your rhetorical style, 我不想批評你的修辭風(fēng)格 [10:13.60]but we'd be a lot further along in this conversation 但是 如果你直奔主題的話 [10:15.84]if you'd begun with that thought. 我們的討論本可以快得多 [10:17.16]That's great,but my... 太好了 但是我... [10:18.24]what I'm saying is that we took quite an unnecessary detour 我是說 繞了這么大一個圈 [10:22.84]from what I now understand to be your thesis. 我才知道你的本意是什么 [10:22.92]Whatever. 隨便你怎么說啦 [10:25.44]-You have to do something about it. -Why? - 你得想個辦法才行 - 為啥? [10:28.96]Because she's your sister. 因為她是你妹妹 [10:31.24]I don't understand. 我很費解呀 [10:33.08]Yes,we shared a uterus for nine months, 對 我們的確共用了子宮九個月 [10:37.28]but since then we've pretty much gone our own separate ways. 但從那以后我們就分道揚鑣了 [10:40.84]Okay,uh,consider this... with your father gone, 好吧 想想吧... 你父親早逝 [10:43.96]it is your responsibility to make sure that 那兄長就有責(zé)任 [10:46.88]missy chooses a suitable mate. 在Missy選最佳配偶的時候把好關(guān) [10:50.56]I hadn't considered that. 這我倒還沒有想到 [10:55.24]We do share dna. 既然我們分享了基因 [10:57.00]So there is the possibility,however remote, 那就會有一種可能 盡管它微乎其微 [10:57.32]that resting in her loins is the potential 在她的恥骨區(qū)隱藏著一種潛能 [10:60.32]for another individual as remarkable as myself. 可以和一個如同我般 卓越的人完美的配對 [11:05.16]Exactly. 瞧你說的多對呀 [11:06.84]And you owe it to yourself and to posterity to protect 你理應(yīng)為了你和你的子孫們 [11:09.52]the genetic integrity of your sister's future offspring. 捍衛(wèi)你妹妹后代的基因完整性 [11:16.28]You're right. 說的太對了 [11:16.92]If someone wants to get at missy's fallopian tubes, 如果誰想占有Missy的輸卵管 [11:19.52]they'll have to go through me. 統(tǒng)統(tǒng)得先過我這一關(guān) [11:31.08]I am shiva the destroyer! I will have the woman. 濕婆(印度神) 賜予我毀滅的力量! 我要得到這女人 [11:35.36]I'm warnin ug yo I was judo champion at math camp. 不要怪我沒有警告過你 我可是數(shù)學(xué)夏令營的柔道冠軍 [11:40.64]All right,now that's enough juvenile squabbling. 夠了 孩子們 調(diào)皮時間馬上結(jié)束 [11:43.32]You stop it. Stop it,I say! 停下來 我叫你們停下來! [11:47.72]I'm going to settle this right now. 我現(xiàn)在就來解決這個問題 [11:48.20]Neither of you are good enough for my sister. 你倆都沒有資格配我的妹妹 [11:52.60]Who are you to decide that? 憑啥由你來決定? [11:51.96]He's the man of his family. 人家可是他們家里的爺們呀 [11:55.88]You have to respect his wishes. 你們得尊重他的意愿 [11:55.84]-You're out,too,by the way. -Say what? - 隨便說下 你也出局 - 你說什么? [11:59.60]It's nothing personal. 不是故意針對你 [11:58.48]I'd just prefer if my future niece or nephew 我只是不想我未來的侄子侄女 [12:01.96]didn't become flatulent every time they ate an eskimo pie. 一吃紫雪糕就胃脹氣 [12:11.64]What are you so happy about? 你現(xiàn)在樂顛個啥呀? [12:13.36]I'm not happy. 我一點都不高興 [12:14.32]It's the medication. I can't stop smiling. 這是藥物作用 我笑臉扭不過來了 [12:22.48]Now that leonard's made me aware of how high the genetic stakes are, 既然Leonard提醒了我 基因的風(fēng)險會有多高 [12:26.48]we have to face the fact that none of you 我們不得不面對一個事實 [12:27.28]are suitable mates for my sister. 你們都不是我妹妹的最佳配偶 [12:29.24]Wait a minute. Leonard made you aware of that? 等會兒 Leonard提醒你的? [12:34.52]We all make mistakes. Let's move on. 誰沒犯過錯呢 我們得向前看 [12:37.52]Excuse me,but I think you're missing a big opportunity here. 打斷你下 我認(rèn)為你將錯過一個大好機(jī)會 [12:39.08]How so? 此話怎講? [12:39.00]Everybody knows genetic diversity produces the strongest offspring. 眾所周知遺傳多樣性 更能篩選出優(yōu)良的后代 [12:44.52]Why not put a little mocha in the family latte? 為何不加點黑摩卡咖啡 在你家的拿鐵里呢? [12:51.96]In principle,you have a point. 理論上 你說的很對 [12:52.64]But as a practical matter,need I remind you that 但是事實上 我必須提醒你 [12:55.32]it takes experimental pharmaceuticals to simply enable you 服用實驗階段的藥物僅僅是 [12:57.84]to speak to the opposite sex. 讓你能對異性張口而已 [12:60.88]I think you're focusing entirely too much on the drugs. 我看你實在太多的考慮這些藥了 [13:10.48]Is it 'cause I'm jewish? 因為我是猶太人嗎? [13:11.48]'Cause I'd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister. 我可以為了你妹妹 用豬排干掉我的猶太老師 [13:19.72]This has nothing to do with religion. 和信仰沒有關(guān)系 [13:23.80]This has to do with the fact that you're a tiny,tiny man 而是因為 你是個特小特小的男人 [13:24.76]who still lives with his mother. 居然還跟老媽一起住 [13:28.60]Sheldon,you are really being unreasonable. Sheldon 你實在太蠻不講理了 [13:29.20]Am I? 有嗎? [13:30.100]Here,eat this cheese without farting 來 吃了這片奶酪 要是不放屁 [13:32.100]and you can sleep with my sister. 就讓你和我妹妹上床 [13:37.88]Oh,really? 真的? [13:44.28]Shelly,can I speak to you for a minute? Alone. Shelly 我可以和你談下嗎? 就我倆 [13:48.48]Why does everyone suddenly want to talk to me alone? 怎么突然都想和我單獨談了? [13:52.08]Usually nobody wants to be alone with me. 平時都沒人愿意和我呆一塊 [13:59.92]We all make mistakes. Let's move on. 誰都犯過錯 我們得向前看 [14:04.96]Okay,I'm not even going to ask 好吧 我都不打算質(zhì)問你 [14:06.52]why you're pimping me out for cheese. 怎么會拿奶酪來兜售我 [14:10.56]But since when do you care at all about who I sleep with? 但我想知道什么時候你開始 關(guān)心起我和誰上床了? [14:15.92]Well,truthfully,I've never given it any thought, 說實話 其實我從沒有考慮過 [14:15.56]but it has been pointed out to me that 但是讓我關(guān)心的是 [14:19.28]you carry dna of great potential. 你的基因里 攜帶著巨大的天賦 [14:21.80]-What on earth are you talking about? -Let me explain. - 你到底在扯什么鬼東西? - 容我解釋下 [14:23.16]You see,I'm a superior genetic mutation, 你知道 我是一次高級別的基因突變 [14:25.36]an improvement on the existing mediocre stock. 在已存的平庸血統(tǒng)上的一次進(jìn)化 [14:30.04]And what do you mean,"mediocre stock"? 你說的"平庸血統(tǒng)"是指什么? [14:35.72]That would be you. 可能就是你 [14:37.08]But residing within you,is the potential for another me. 你身上所具備的 可以提供潛勢給另外的我 [14:41.84]Perhaps even taller,smarter, 也許會更高 更加聰明 [14:43.76]and less prone to freckling,a sheldon 2.0,if you will. 不會老是長雀斑 如果你配合的話 一個Sheldon 2.0版 [14:48.08]-"Sheldon 2.0"? -Exactly. - "Sheldon 2.0版"? - 十分正確 [14:49.96]Now,I am not saying that I should be 我不是在說我就是 [14:54.04]the sole decider of who you mate with. 誰和你配對的唯一決策者 [14:54.84]If you're not attracted to the suitor, 還取決于你對求偶者的吸引力 [14:57.08]then the likelihood of conception will be reduced. 否則孕育的幾率將會下降 [14:59.80]-You have got to be kidding me. -Not at all. - 你開什么國際玩笑啊 - 完全不是 [14:60.88]Frequent coitus dramatically increases the odds of fertilization. 頻繁的交媾 會激增受精的幾率 [15:04.32]Okay,shelly,sit down. 夠了 Shelly 坐下 [15:11.16]Now I've lived my whole life dealing with the fact 我活到現(xiàn)在 照老媽的話說 [15:12.96]that my twin brother is,as mom puts it, 我一直活在老哥的陰影下 [15:16.80]"one of god's special,little people." 而他是"上帝的特殊小杰作" [15:18.68]I always thought I was more like a cuckoo bird. 我一直認(rèn)為鵑鳩更貼切些 [15:22.52]You know,a superior creature whose egg 一種占優(yōu)勢者的生物 [15:24.56]is placed in the nest of ordinary birds. 把蛋產(chǎn)在普通的 諸如麻雀的巢里 [15:25.00]Of course,the newly hatched cuckoo eats all the food, 很自然地 先出殼的鵑鳩會吃光所有的食物 [15:27.04]leaving the ordinary siblings to starve to death. 剩下那些可憐的小麻雀 只有餓死的份 [15:32.80]Luckily for you,that's where the metaphor ended. 走運的是 對你來說 隱喻到此就結(jié)束了 [15:35.56]I thought it ended at "cuckoo." 我以為在你提到鵑鳩的時候 就結(jié)束了 [15:42.08]You listen to me. 聽我說 [15:42.28]If you want to start acting like a brother 如果你想開始 表現(xiàn)的像個稱職的哥哥 [15:44.80]who cares about me,then terrific. 來關(guān)心我的話 那就好極了 [15:47.52]Bring it on. 來吧 [15:48.28]But you try one time to tell me who I should be sleeping with, 要是你想再嘗試一次 告訴我該和誰上床的話 [15:51.00]and you and i are going to go round 就讓你再嘗嘗我們 [15:52.64]and round the way we did when we were little. 小時候的滋味 [15:54.64]Remember? 還記憶猶新吧? [15:60.52]I have an alternate proposal. 我有另外一個提議 [15:60.56]Go on. 說吧 [16:02.40]You donate eggs. 你去捐卵子 [16:02.68]We will place them in cryogenic storage. 我們會把它們低溫貯存起來 [16:04.20]I will find an appropriate sperm donor for your eggs, 我去找一個和你卵子 配型的捐精者 [16:09.88]have them fertilized and implanted in you. 對它們?nèi)斯な诰笾踩肽泱w內(nèi) [16:12.24]That way,everybody wins. 這辦法 我們就是雙贏啦 [16:22.08]Correction. 修正我的聲明 [16:24.28]Missy can date whoever she wants. Missy可以和她愿意的人約會 [16:26.72]Look,we have to settle this. 我們得解決下這個問題 [16:30.32]I agree. 對 [16:31.64]Sheldon's sister is hiding at penny's Sheldon妹妹躲到Penny那兒 [16:31.84]because we've all been hitting on her at the same time. 都是因為我們 全一起沖上去獻(xiàn)殷勤 [16:34.64]She's not hiding. 人家才不是躲起來呢 [16:36.84]She needed privacy to call her grandmother 她只是需要獨處 好給她奶奶打電話去 [16:37.80]who's apparently very sick. 顯然人家的奶奶病得厲害 [16:39.88]Oh,and then I believe she has to wash her hair. 我想她總還得洗個頭吧 [16:41.96]Oh,you poor,deluded bastard. 你這個可憐的蠢家伙 [16:44.04]Don't start with me,dude. 別惹我 伙計 [16:44.80]You want to go again? Let's go. 又想單挑啊? 出來呀 [16:47.00]-Sit down. -Okay. - 坐下 - 行 [16:50.52]If we're going to fight over missy,let's do it the right way. 就算我們要爭奪Missy 也得按合適的方式來呀 [16:52.48]The honorable way. 高尚的方式 [16:55.40]Take that! 嘗嘗這個! [16:56.04]you want some more? 想再來下子嗎? [17:02.00]And he's down! 他倒下啦! [17:06.88]come on,come on! Get up! 快 快點! 爬起來! [17:08.36]Stay down,bitch! 老實趴著吧 賤骨頭! [17:14.28]yeah! Natural selection at work. 耶! 這是自然選擇的結(jié)果 [17:18.48]I weep for humanity. 真為人性感到悲哀 [17:20.44]Excuse me while I go tell missy the good news. 不好意思 我該去告訴Missy這個喜訊了 [17:29.64]-Hey,leonard. -Oh,hi,penny. How's it going? - 好呀 Leonard - 好 Penny 最近好嗎? [17:32.48]Listen,that guy mike that you were dating, 那個你最近約會的 叫Mike的家伙 [17:34.28]is that still going on? 你們還在拍拖吧? [17:35.24]-pretty much. Why? -Nothing,just catching up. - 算是吧 怎么? - 沒事 只是隨便聊聊 [17:36.36]By the way,may I speak to missy,please? 順便問下 讓我和Missy說話 好嗎? [17:39.64]Of course. 當(dāng)然可以呀 [17:42.76]Hi,leonard. What's up? 你好 Leonard 有什么事? [17:44.20]Well,since you're leaving tomorrow, 既然你明天要走了 [17:47.28]I was wondering if you'd like to go to dinner with me. 我想知道你是否愿意 和我共進(jìn)晚餐呢 [17:50.32]That's so sweet. But no thanks. 太貼心了 但不了 謝謝 [17:53.88]-Do you have other plans or...? -No. - 你是另有安排還是...? - 不是 [17:60.48]All right,enjoy the rest of your evening. 好 那么祝你今晚愉快了 [18:05.96]Thanks. See ya. 謝謝 再見 [18:13.00]here's something we didn't anticipate. 出了些始料未及的狀況 [18:21.80]What do you want,howard? 有什么需要幫助的 Howard? [18:23.36]I'm fine. Thanks for asking. 沒事 非常感謝你的詢問 [18:29.12]I've come to call on missy. 我是想來和Missy打個招呼的 [18:30.68]Missy. Missy [18:35.08]Hi,howard. 你好 Howard [18:36.00]The amazing howard. 驚奇無處不在的Howard [18:39.88]-Do you like magic? -Not really. No. - 喜歡魔術(shù)嗎? - 其實不喜歡 [18:43.96]Then you are in for a treat. 那你會喜歡上的 [18:45.36]Behold,an ordinary cane. 瞧 一根普通的手杖 [18:52.36]"想跟我出去么?" [18:56.48]No. 不想去 [18:60.40]Okay. 沒關(guān)系 [19:06.100]"你確定嗎?" [19:17.100]missy. Missy [19:21.16]Thank you. 謝謝 [19:21.44]I apprec... apprec... appreeee... 我和感... 干... 敢敢... [19:32.28]Oh,honey. Is your medication wearing off? 小家伙 藥力快失效了吧? [19:39.64]Well,hi,tie pie. 你好呀 小可愛 [19:39.92]I was hoping you'd show up. 真期待看到你展現(xiàn)出邀女孩的魅力 [20:11.08]we had a dog who made a noise like tha had to put him down. 我家曾有只像那樣吠的狗 不得不宰了它 [20:17.88]Any news you want me to pass along to mom? 有什么你的近況 要我告訴媽媽嗎? [20:22.08]Well,she might be interested to know that 她可能會有興趣知道 [20:24.44]I have refocused my research from bosonic string theory 我重新把我的研究重心 從玻色弦理論 [20:26.88]to heterotic string theory. 重新轉(zhuǎn)到了雜化超弦理論上 [20:28.28]Yeah,I'll just tell her you say "hey." 我會轉(zhuǎn)告她 你向她問好的 [20:32.76]Okay,well,it was pleasant seeing you, 好吧 除了我小弟弟的事故外 [20:34.16]other than that business with my testicles. 能見到你真是件高興的事 [20:40.64]Come on,shelly. 來吧 Shelly [20:47.08]I want you to know I'm very proud of you. 要知道 我可是以你為自豪的喲 [20:48.36]Really? 真的? [20:50.24]Yep,I'm always bragging to my friends about my brother, 對呀 我一直在我的朋友們那里 吹捧我有個哥哥 [20:54.08]the rocket scientist. 是個火箭專家 [20:56.00]You tell people I'm a rocket scientist? 你給別人說 我是搞火箭研究的? [20:59.36]Well,yeah. 是呀 [20:60.84]I'm a theoretical physicist. 我是一名理論物理學(xué)家 [21:04.00]-What's the difference? -What's the difference?! - 有什么區(qū)別呢? - 有什么區(qū)別?! [21:08.92]Good-bye,shelly. 再見了 Shelly [21:07.80]My god! Why don't you just tell them 我的主呀! 干脆你告訴他們 [21:11.04]that I'm a toll-taker at the golden gate bridge?! 我是金門大橋收過路費的算了! [21:18.36]Rocket scientist. How humiliating. 火箭科學(xué)家 太傷自尊咧 [21:19.52]

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