像從前一樣,大狗是睡在門前的木臺上。望著這兩只狗我沉默著。我自己知道又是想起我的小黑狗來了。
One morning two months ago, when I went out to empty the chamber pot, I saw the landlady’s housemaid Xiaoyu squatting near the rear corner of the house. Her fluffy yellow hair and unbuttoned jacket still remain fresh in my mind to this day. But with only a view of her back, I could hardly figure what she was up to.
前兩個月的一天早晨,我去倒臟水。在房后的角落處,房東的使女小鈺蹲在那里。她的黃頭發(fā)毛蓬著,我記得清清的,她的衣扣還開著。我看見的是她的背面,所以我不能預測這是發(fā)生了什么!
I wanted to ask her, and began to soften my tone. However, before I could even open my mouth, her hands began to tremble. Ah! In her tender hands I glimpsed a small pup, eyes closed.
我斟酌著我的聲音,還不等我向她問,她的手已在顫抖,唔!她顫抖的小手上有個小狗在閉著眼睛,我問:
“Where did you get it?” I asked.
“哪里來的?”
“Come and see.”
“你來看吧!”
Thus saying, she tossed her fluffy hair, and I saw in her hands another pup, also with its eyes closed.
她說著,我只看她毛蓬的頭發(fā)搖了一下,手上又是一個小狗在閉著眼睛。
No, not only two. I couldn’t tell how many, there must have been a bunch of them. Full of joy, I became as childlike as Xiaoyu. I ran back to my room and grabbed the hand of Pingsen, who was still in bed.
不僅一個兩個,不能辨清是幾個,簡直是一小堆。我也和孩子一樣,和小鈺一樣歡喜著跑進屋去,在床邊拉他的手:
“Pingsen… Ah… Er…”
“平森……啊,……喔喔……”
The soles of my shoes resounded on the floor, while I failed to utter a single coherent word, as if my mouth had lost its function. We were locked in a mutual stare, for him out of astonishment, and for me out of happiness. Finally I managed to tell him that the big dog of the landlord had given birth.
我的鞋底在地板上響,但我沒說出一個字來,我的嘴廢物似的啊喔著。他的眼睛瞪住,和我一樣,我是為了歡喜,他是為了驚愕。最后我告訴了他,是房東的大狗生了小狗。
Four days later, another bitch, a white spotted dog, gave birth too.
過了四天,別的一只母狗也生了小狗。
By and by all the pups were able to open their eyes. We played with them all day. To give them a new home, we put them all in a wooden box.
以后小狗都睜開眼睛了。我們天天玩著它們,又給小狗搬了個家,把它們都裝進木箱里。
Seeing that the old dog had eaten up one of its pups, Xiaoyu opposed letting it live with its litter any longer, for fear that it would do the same to the rest. Hence we purposely put the two litters together in the same box under the care of the white spotted dog. And it was this that led to the fight between the two dogs.
爭吵就是這天發(fā)生的:小鈺看見老狗把小狗吃掉一只,怕是那只老狗把它的小狗完全吃掉,所以不同意小狗和那個老狗同居,大家就搶奪著把余下的叁個小狗也給裝進木箱去,算是那只白花狗生的。
The old dog, though not much more than skin and bones with a smattering of hair, somehow followed up. The spotted dog, taking the advantage of being younger, did not flinch, but snarled menacingly, ready to fight. These two dogs were usually very peaceful, never biting anyone. Yet now they were like two little bears, engaged in a brawl so vicious that neither the landlord’s sons and daughters nor their servants and housemaids could break them up. Pingsen and I were not able to be of any more help. The two dogs chased and wrestled with each other all over the courtyard. They were crazy, and so were the people around them. Amid the confusion, the spotted dog bit a nipple off the old dog and held it in its mouth.
那個毛褪得稀疏、骨格突露、瘦得龍樣似的老狗,追上來。白花狗仗著年輕不懼敵,哼吐著開仗的聲音。平時這兩條狗從不咬架,就連咬人也不會?,F(xiàn)在兇惡極了。就像兩條小熊在咬架一樣。房東的男兒、女兒、聽差、使女,又加我們兩個,此時都沒有用了。不能使兩個狗分開。兩個狗滿院瘋狂地拖跑。人也瘋狂著。在人們吵鬧的聲音里,老狗的乳頭脫掉一個,含在白花狗的嘴里。
Eventually the two dogs were beaten apart. When the old dog tried to chase after the spotted dog again, the latter, leaving the bitten-off nipple on the ground, had already leapt in the wooden box, reassuming her role as mother to all the pups.
人們算是把狗打開了。老狗再追去時,白花狗已經(jīng)把乳頭吐到地上,跳進木箱看護它的一群小狗去了。
The old dog, bleeding and in pain, milled around in the courtyard, while in the wooden box its three pups were found suckling at the breast of the spotted dog, which was not their real mother.
脫掉乳頭的老狗,血流著,痛得滿院轉(zhuǎn)走。木箱里它的叁個小狗卻擁擠著不是自己的媽媽,在安然地吃奶。
Some days later, I took a pup into my room and sat it on the table. Fearful and unable to move, it was trembling all over. With a sense of pride, I said joyfully to Pingsen:
有一天,把個小狗抱進屋來放在桌上,它害怕,不能邁步,全身有些顫,我笑著像是得意,說:
“Hey! Come and have a look!”
“平森,看小狗啊!”
But his response was the opposite of my expectation.
他卻相反,說道:
“Humph! Now you think they are lovable, but nobody will care a fig when they grow up and starve to death.”
“哼!現(xiàn)在覺得小狗好玩,長大要餓死的時候,就無人管了。”
I understood what he meant to say, and the smile on my face froze. In silence I took the pup out of the room. I was not happy with his words, I didn’t want to see the pups die of starvation, but I didn’t know what to say. I gazed through the back window at the vacant ground, where the sunshine was almost completely blocked out by the surrounding buildings of wealthy families. Under some wooden boards, a dead little pup had been left to rot away. It must have been there for quite some time, since flies were buzzing around the place. I sank into a sort of hallucination, in which I became the dead pup, listening to the buzz of the flies feeding themselves on my body.
這話間接的可以了解。我笑著的臉被這話毀壞了,用我寞寞的手,把小狗送了出去。我心里有些不愿意,不愿意小狗將來餓死??墒俏覅s沒有說什么,面向后窗,我看望后窗外的空地;這塊空地沒有陽光照過,四面立著的是有產(chǎn)階級的高樓,幾乎是和陽光絕了緣。不知什么時候,小狗是腐了、亂了,擠在木板下,左近有蒼蠅飛著。我的心情完全神經(jīng)質(zhì)下去,好像躺在木板下的小狗就是我自己,像聽著蒼蠅在自己已死的尸體上尋食一樣。
Pingsen walked over. I pretended to have seen nothing, for fear that he would use the dead pup as a proof of his words and launch into a longer lecture. However, he had already discovered the pup himself, and began talking:
平森走過來,我怕又要證實他方才的話。我假裝無事,可是他已經(jīng)看見那個小狗了。我怕他又要象征著說什么,可是他已經(jīng)說了:
“A little dog has died in such a sunless place, and you feel sorry for it? What about the old beggars who can’t get any food and are left to die in the gutter or on the dark street? Women, children, even young men out of a job all face the same fate.”
“一個小狗死在這沒有陽光的地方,你覺得可憐么?年老的叫化子不能尋食,死在陰溝里,或是黑暗的街道上;女人,孩子,就是年輕人失了業(yè)的時候也是一樣。”
I felt like crying. But I held back my tears, because people often say women settle everything with a fit of crying and I didn’t want to do so. Nonetheless, tears finally found their way down my cheeks. He said, “Hush! Why cry? It is the way of the world these days that people die from hunger, cold and darkness. Control yourself! Take care of our own business, girl!”
我愿意哭出來,但我不能因為人都說女人一哭就算了事,我不愿意了事??墒锹奈医K于哭了!他說:“悄悄,你要哭么?這是平常的事,凍死,餓死,黑暗死,每天都有這樣的事情,把持住自己。渡我們的橋梁吧,小孩子!”
Embarrassed, I wiped away my tears, though I remained in a pensive mood the whole day.
我怕著羞,把眼淚拭干了,但,終日我是心情寞寞。
The days passed, and another two of the twelve pups were found to be missing, which made the remaining ones more precious than ever. They wagged their tails, learned to bark after the big dogs, and roamed all over the courtyard in a little pack. Whenever a stranger appeared at the gate, they would run forward after the big dogs, but they never tried to bite, and only wagged their tails as a token of hospitality. Perhaps they were still too young to understand their duty to safeguard the property of their master.
過了些日子,十二個小狗之中又少了兩個。但是剩下的這些更可愛了。會搖尾巴,會學著大狗叫,跑起來在院子就是一小群。有時門口來了生人,它們也跟著大狗跑去,并不咬,只是搖著尾巴,就像和生人要好似的,這或是小狗還不曉得它們的責任,還不曉得保護主人的財產(chǎn)。
The landlady was sat in her armchair in the courtyard, smoking and enjoying the cool air. She began to talk casually, and the topic shifted to the pups:
天井中納涼的軟椅上,房東太太吸著煙。她開始說家常話了。結(jié)果又說到了小狗:
“What’s the use of having all those pups? Not one of them is good-looking! Take them far off to the road and leave them there. Another bunch will be born in autumn. What a nuisance!”
“這一大群什么用也沒有,一個好看的也沒有,過幾天把它們遠遠地送到馬路上去。秋天又要有一群,厭死人了!”
Sitting by the landlady was a night watchman in his sixties. Straining his eyes, he stammered out a mean suggestion:
坐在軟椅旁邊的是個60多歲的老更倌。眼花著,有主意的嘴結(jié)結(jié)巴巴地說:
“Tomorrow, send them to the river in a bag…”
“明明……天,用麻……袋背送到大江去……”
Young as Xiaoyu was, she still managed to speak out:
小鈺是個小孩子,她說:
“No need to send them to the river. There will be adopters.”
“不用送大江,慢慢都會送出去。”
The pups ran all around the courtyard. They were most adorable when they slept together, this one’s head resting on another one’s neck, their round bellies pressed against each other. When we had visitors, we would ask them to adopt one or two, and a few good-looking ones were thus picked up and taken away.
小狗滿院跑跳。我最愿意看的是它們睡覺,多是一個壓著一個脖子睡,小圓肚一個個的相擠著。是凡來了熟人的時候都是往外介紹,生得好看一點的抱走了幾個。
I chose a black one as mine, its ears being the biggest and its belly the most protruding. A friend of ours then took away two more in a basket. Thus we were left with only two pups, one black and one yellow, to which the big dogs both tried to give more love, vying with each other to lick their fur. Now the pups could no longer form a pack in the yard.
其中有一個耳朵最大,肚子最圓的小黑狗,算是我的了。我們的朋友用小提籃帶回去兩個,剩下的只有一個小黑狗和一個小黃狗。老狗對它兩個非常珍惜起來,爭著給小狗去舐絨毛。這時候,小狗在院子里已經(jīng)不成群了。
I came back home from the street, opened the window and began to read a novel. Seeing me, the yellow pup stood up on its hind legs and scratched the gauze window mischievously.
我從街上回來,打開窗子。我讀一本小說。那個小黃狗撓著窗紗,和我玩笑似的豎起身子來撓了又撓。
“How come I haven’t seen my black pup these days?” I thought.
我想:“怎么幾天沒有見到小黑狗呢?”
I called Xiaoyu. Many others living in the same courtyard also came to help. We searched every nook and cranny of the yard, but to no avail. It was not to be found in the street either. My big-eared pup was missing!
我喊來了小鈺。別的同院住的人都出來了,找遍全院,不見我的小黑狗。馬路上也沒有可愛的小黑狗,再也看不見它的大耳朵了!它忽然是失了蹤!
Three days later, someone adopted the yellow pup.
又過叁天,小黃狗也被人拿走。
Xiaoyu, herself a motherless young girl, told me what she had seen:
沒有媽媽的小鈺向我說:
“Every time the pups of our neighbor bark, our big dogs are reminded of theirs and begin to search all over the yard, even jumping on the roof to look around. Unable to see their own kids, they howl so sadly!”
“大狗一聽隔院的小狗叫,它就想起它的孩子??墒菨M院急尋,上樓頂去張望。最終一個都不見,它哽哽地叫呢!”
One by one the thirteen pups had gone. Like two months before, the big dogs slept lonely on the wooden platform.
十叁個小狗一個不見了!和兩個月以前一樣,大狗是孤獨地睡在木臺上。
Pingsen’s feet, his dove-shaped feet, were perched on the bed sheet—he was sleeping. I was writing, I was thinking, three flies were flying against the windowpane. ...
平森的小腳,鴿子形的小腳,棲在床單上,他是睡了。我在寫,我在想,玻璃窗上的叁個蒼蠅在飛…… □