托?？谡Z如何表達委婉的拒絕

　　1. “This sounds interesting, but I have too much on my plate at the moment.”

　　“聽起來很有趣，但是我現(xiàn)在有太多的事情要做。”

　　When you start your disagreement with a compliment: “this sounds interesting”, it makes the person less defensive and gives you a validreason to decline “I have too much on my plate at the moment”.

　　如果你在表達異議時用贊美開頭：“聽起來很有趣”，會讓人的心理防御降低，這時你可以用正當理由來拒絕，如“我現(xiàn)在有太多的事情要做。”

　　2. “I’m sorry but last time I did ___, I had a negative experience.”

　　“不要意思，上次我這樣做時，我很難受 。”

　　This is a life-saver for me every time I have to explain to people that I do not eat meat. Before I would say that I was a vegetarian, but for some reason this explanation has never worked on hospitable Italian grandmothers. They would try to feed me bacon, sausage and octopuses (yuck!) explaining it with “this is not meat” or “I just put a little in this dish”.

　　當我每次需要向他人解釋我不吃肉時，這句話是我的救命稻草。在此之前，我通常說我是素食主義者，但是不知什么原因，這種解釋對好客的意大利奶奶們一點兒用也沒有。她們總是讓我吃培根、香腸和章魚(真難吃!)，并向我解釋“這不是肉”或“只放了一點點兒。”

　　Now I simply say, “I’m sorry, but I can not eat meat. Last time I did, I had a terrible headache.” And it works like a charm, because no one wants to hurt you on purpose.

　　現(xiàn)在我只是說，“不好意思，我不能吃肉。上次我吃肉時，我頭疼得很厲害。” 這非常管用，因為沒人想故意傷害你。

　　The focus here is not on what you want or do not want to do, but on your previous bad experience.

　　這里要注意的是，關鍵不在于你想要什么或不想做什么，關鍵在于上次你這樣做很難受。

　　3. “I’d love to do this, but ____”

　　“我想這么做，但是____”。

　　This is a great way of saying that you like the idea, you are willing to help, but you just can not do it at the moment.

　　這是一種很好的方式，說你喜歡這樣做，你想去幫忙，但是你現(xiàn)在沒法做。

　　Note: Just do not go into a lengthy justification of why you can not do it.

　　注意：不要進一步說明你為什么不能做。

　　First, it is not necessary. Time is a limited resource and when you say “yes” to one task, you have to say “no” to other opportunities that might be more important, urgent and beneficial to you at the moment. Second, offering a lengthy explanation makes you sound guilty and unsure, so people might push further to see if you will agree.

　　首先，沒有必要。每個人的時間都是有限的，當你對一項任務說“是”的時候，你就不得不對另外的一些機遇說“不”，盡管那些機遇現(xiàn)在對你來說可能是更加重要、緊急或有益的。另外，進一步解釋會讓你有種負罪感和不確定感，人們可以進一步勸說你看你是否會同意。

　　4. “I’m not the best person to help on this. Why don’t you try X?”

　　“我不是這項任務的最佳人選。要不你們看看X行不行?”

　　If you feel that you can not contribute much to the task, have no time or lack the resources, do not beat around the bush! Let the person know it up front. This, however, does not mean that you can not be helpful. You can still refer the person to a lead they can follow up on.

　　如果你覺得你不能在任務中投入太多精力，沒有那么多時間或缺少資源，那就不要拐彎抹角!讓別人知道。這樣，別人就不會覺得你沒有幫忙。你可以推薦他人供他們參考。

　　5. “I can’t do this, but I can do ____ (less commitment).”

　　“我不能這樣做，但是我可以 ___(做出較少的承諾)。”

　　This is another variation of the previous method. You are saying “No” to a request, but you are still offering your help on your own terms, choosing the easier, less time-consuming commitment.

　　這是前面那種方法的變種。你雖然是對別人的請求說“不”，但是你仍然提供幫助，選擇相對簡單、需要較少時間的方式。

　　6. “You look great, but ___ does not do you justice”

　　“你看上去很棒，但是___不是很適合你。”

　　This is a great way to diplomatically express your opinion when someone asks you a question about their appearance, without hurting the other person’s feelings (especially if the person asking you is your friend, your superior or your spouse).

　　當別人問你外貌方面的問題時，這是一個既能表達出你的想法卻又不傷害別人情感的好方法。(尤其當那個人是你的朋友、上級或配偶時)。

　　7. “That sounds great, but I just can’t put one more thing on my calendar for the next few weeks. Let me call you ___ (specific time range).”

　　“聽起來很不錯，但是接下來的幾周，我的行程已經(jīng)排得滿滿的了。等我在__時(具體的時間范圍內(nèi))打電話通知你。”

　　Sometimes you might get a proposal, an idea or a request that sounds interesting. But considering the amount of tasks on your to-do list, you do not feel like taking another commitment just yet.

　　有時你可能會得到一個有趣的提議、想法或請求。但考慮到你任務清單上的內(nèi)容， 你可能不想做出其他承諾。

　　In this case, instead of saying a straight out “No”, you are giving yourself time to reflect before making a final decision: “Let me call you ___ (specific time range).”

　　在這種情況下，與其直接說“不”， 不如爭取時間想想再做決定：“等我在__時(具體的時間范圍內(nèi))打電話通知你。”

　　However, if you are not interested, do not leave the person hanging on. Use other ways to say “No” that are more definitive (e.g. methods #1,#2 or #3). It is more disappointing when the person is counting on you and you let them down.

　　然而，要是你不感興趣的話，就不要讓別人等待。使用另外幾種明確說“不”的方式。(如方法#1、#2或#3)。如果別人指望你，而你讓他們掃興的話，那樣會更令人失望的。