雙語名著·追風(fēng)箏的人 The Kite Runner(109)

12歲的阿富汗富家少爺阿米爾與仆人哈桑情同手足。然而，在一場風(fēng)箏比賽后，發(fā)生了一件悲慘不堪的事，阿米爾為自己的懦弱感到自責(zé)和痛苦，逼走了哈桑，不久，自己也跟隨父親逃往美國。

成年后的阿米爾始終無法原諒自己當(dāng)年對哈桑的背叛。為了贖罪，阿米爾再度踏上暌違二十多年的故鄉(xiāng)，希望能為不幸的好友盡最后一點(diǎn)心力，卻發(fā)現(xiàn)一個驚天謊言，兒時的噩夢再度重演，阿米爾該如何抉擇?

故事如此殘忍而又美麗，作者以溫暖細(xì)膩的筆法勾勒人性的本質(zhì)與救贖，讀來令人蕩氣回腸。

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I put my glass on the ledge, where a row of her potted geraniums were dripping water. “I think I agree with General Sahib.”
Reassured, the general nodded and went back to the grill.
We all had our reasons for not adopting. Soraya had hers, the general his, and I had this: that perhaps something, someone, somewhere, had decided to deny me fatherhood for the things I had done. Maybe this was my punishment, and perhaps justly so. It wasn’t meant to be, Khala Jamila had said. Or, maybe, it was meant not to be.
A FEW MONTHS LATER, we used the advance for my second novel and placed a down payment on a pretty, two-bedroom Victorian house in San Francisco’s Bernal Heights. It had a peaked roof, hardwood floors, and a tiny backyard which ended in a sun deck and a fire pit. The general helped me refinish the deck and paint the walls. Khala Jamila bemoaned us moving almost an hour away, especially since she thought Soraya needed all the love and support she could get--oblivious to the fact that her well-intended but overbearing sympathy was precisely what was driving Soraya to move.
SOMETIMES, SORAYA SLEEPING NEXT TO ME, I lay in bed and listened to the screen door swinging open and shut with the breeze, to the crickets chirping in the yard. And I could almost feel the emptiness in Soraya’s womb, like it was a living, breathing thing. It had seeped into our marriage, that emptiness, into our laughs, and our lovemaking. And late at night, in the darkness of our room, I’d feel it rising from Soraya and settling between us. Sleeping between us. Like a newborn child.
FOURTEEN
_June 2001_
I lowered the phone into the cradle and stared at it for a long time. It wasn’t until Aflatoon startled me with a bark that I realized how quiet the room had become. Soraya had muted the television.
“You look pale, Amir,” she said from the couch, the same one her parents had given us as a housewarming gift for our first apartment. She’d been tying on it with Aflatoon’s head nestled on her chest, her legs buried under the worn pillows. She was halfwatching a PBS special on the plight of wolves in Minnesota, half-correcting essays from her summer-school class--she’d been teaching at the same school now for six years. She sat up, and Aflatoon leapt down from the couch. It was the general who had given our cocker spaniel his name, Farsi for “Plato,” because, he said, if you looked hard enough and long enough into the dog’s filmy black eyes, you’d swear he was thinking wise thoughts.
There was a sliver of fat, just a hint of it, beneath Soraya’s chin now The past ten years had padded the curves of her hips some, and combed into her coal black hair a few streaks of cinder gray. But she still had the face of a Grand Ball princess, with her bird-in-flight eyebrows and nose, elegantly curved like a letter from ancient Arabic writings.
“You took pale,” Soraya repeated, placing the stack of papers on the table.
“I have to go to Pakistan.”

我把酒杯放到架子上，上面一排天竺葵滴著水?！拔彝鈱④姶笕说目捶??！?br />將軍很滿意，點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭，走回烤架去。
我們都有不收養(yǎng)的理由。索拉雅有她的理由，將軍有他的理由，而我的理由是：也許在某個地方，有某個人，因?yàn)槟臣?，決定剝奪我為人父的權(quán)利，以報復(fù)我曾經(jīng)的所作所為。也許這是我的報應(yīng)，也許這樣是罪有應(yīng)得。也許事情不是這樣的。雅米拉阿姨說?；蛘撸苍S事情注定是這樣的。
幾個月后，我們用我第二部小說的預(yù)付款作為最低首期付款，買下一座漂亮的維多利亞式房子，有兩個臥房，位于舊金山的巴諾爾山莊。它有尖尖的屋頂，硬木地板，還有個小小的后院，盡頭處有一個曬臺和一個火爐。將軍幫我重新擦亮?xí)衽_，粉刷墻壁。雅米拉阿姨抱怨我們搬得這么遠(yuǎn)，開車要一個半小時，特別是她認(rèn)為索拉雅需要她全心全意的愛護(hù)和支持——殊不知正是她的好意和憐憫讓索拉雅難以承受，這才決定搬家。
有時候，索拉雅睡在我身旁，我躺在床上，聽著紗門在和風(fēng)吹拂下開開關(guān)關(guān)，聽著蟋蟀在院子里鳴叫。我?guī)缀跄芨兄剿骼抛訉m里的虛空，它好像是個活著的、會呼吸的東西。它滲進(jìn)我們的婚姻，那虛空，滲進(jìn)我們的笑聲，還有我們的交歡。每當(dāng)夜闌人靜，我會察覺到它從索拉雅身上升起，橫亙在我們之間。像新生兒那樣，睡在我們中間。
第十四章
2001年6月
我把話筒放回座機(jī)，久久凝望著它。阿夫拉圖的吠聲嚇了我一跳，我這才意識到房間變得多么安靜。索拉雅消掉了電視的聲音。
“你臉色蒼白，阿米爾?！彼f，坐在沙發(fā)上，就是她父母當(dāng)成我們第一套房子的喬遷之禮的沙發(fā)。她躺在那兒，阿夫拉圖的頭靠在她胸前，她的腳伸在幾個破舊的枕頭下面。她一邊看著公共電視臺關(guān)于明尼蘇達(dá)瀕危狼群的特別節(jié)目，一邊給暑期學(xué)校的學(xué)生改作文——六年來，她在同一所學(xué)校執(zhí)教。她坐起來，阿夫拉圖從沙發(fā)跳下。給我們這只長耳軟毛獵犬取名的是將軍，名字在法爾西語里面的意思是柏拉圖，因?yàn)?，他說，如果你長時間觀察那只獵犬朦朧的黑眼睛，你一定會發(fā)現(xiàn)它在思索著哲理。
索拉雅白皙的下巴稍微胖了些。逝去的十年使得她臀部的曲線變寬了一些，在她烏黑的秀發(fā)滲進(jìn)幾絲灰白。然而她仍是個公主，臉龐圓潤，眉毛如同小鳥張開的翅膀，鼻子的曲線像某些古代阿拉伯書籍中的字母那樣優(yōu)雅。
“你臉色蒼白?！彼骼胖貜?fù)說，將那疊紙放在桌子上。
“我得去一趟巴基斯坦。”