托福獨立寫作常見的一些審題的雷區(qū)
我們將審題的雷區(qū)大致歸結(jié)為兩個方面，一是宏觀層面踩到了大雷，即題目回答角度完全跑偏，非但“fail to address the task and the topic effectively”，更是“fail to address the task and the topic”;二是微觀層面被散彈擊中，即題目雖然沒有理解錯，但在論述過程中因為審題不仔細或論述不嚴謹，亦或是論述過程中思路出現(xiàn)偏差而帶來的論述跑偏。
首先我們先來看一下所謂宏觀層面的審題雷區(qū)，這樣的審題錯誤往往是由于考生錯誤地理解考題的本意，而給出了可謂“驢唇不對馬嘴”的答案，以TPO 25為例：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.
以下是一個學生給出的一個主體段：
The main reason for my disagreement is that community service could help students gain knowledge and abilities that cannot be acquired in school. They can get acquainted with people in different age, with different backgrounds, and having different hobbies in helping neighborhoods. This means that students may have to learn how to express ideas, listen to others and cooperate with others, since much team work tends to be involved in the process of doing community service. Last month, I helped plant several trees in my community, and met a retired professor who is also a volunteer. He imparted me a great deal of knowledge about trees and planting. Because of his age, I also helped him finish nearly all labor work and he was more like a director who gave me suggestions and guidance. Evidently, if rejecting community service, I would definitely lose such a precious opportunity.
如果單看上面這個段落，不難看出，作者思路清晰、文字流暢、論述有理有據(jù)，但是如果結(jié)合題目，其實也不難體會到，作者清晰的思路其實都用在了一個跑偏的方向上。題目問我們“是否同意：如今的年輕人并沒有花足夠的時間做社區(qū)服務(wù)”，上文中第一句里的“disagree”告訴我們他不同意，但是讀完整個段落，你是否發(fā)現(xiàn)，他不同意的并不是題目，而是這樣一個命題，即“如今的年輕人不應(yīng)該花時間來做社區(qū)服務(wù)”，因為整個段落他講的都是做社區(qū)服務(wù)的好處。
如果回答題目，很明顯應(yīng)該分析的是年輕人為什么已經(jīng)花了/并沒有花足夠的時間做社區(qū)服務(wù)。所以分析的角度也自然應(yīng)該從年輕人出發(fā)，比如如果同意，可能會說現(xiàn)在年輕人太忙了，或是服務(wù)意識下降了，或是現(xiàn)在的社會足夠健全，不需要年輕人了;如果不同意可以說現(xiàn)在的年輕人服務(wù)意識更強了，學校組織或公司組織的服務(wù)活動很多，或一些民間NGO等等都讓現(xiàn)在的年輕人花了更多時間在help communities上。
這樣，才是正確的解題思路，而按照上文的思路，就算文字再好，邏輯再連貫，也只能接受成績不理想的后果了。這種跑題我們可以稱之為是一種宏觀的、徹頭徹尾的跑題，像踩中了地雷，還是那種一踩即爆的雷，基本后果只能是粉身碎骨。不過如果在考試之前加以足夠的練習，這種嚴重的跑題大部分同學基本都可以避免，然而接下來這種微觀的審題失誤造成文章跑題就稍顯麻煩了。
我們來看一下以下這道題目：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities.
以下是一位學生的作文片段，開頭段和第一主體段(讓步段)：
In almost every form of media, including television, newspapers and magazines, a great deal of attention is paid to the personal lives of celebrities. It seems that the public cannot get enough of this kind of news. However, I believe that what the media should do is to protect and respect the lives of public figures rather than giving too much exposure.
Of course, close reports of super stars, especially news about their private lives and relationships, can satisfy fans’ curiosity and therefore promote the sales of fan magazines and other related products. Those celebrities can also achieve more affection and appear more on TV shows or entertainment news. However, the media should respect the privacy of every individual, including public figures. It is true that celebrities may have chosen to be in the public eye, but that does not give the public the right to know everything about them. Zhang Bozhi, a famous Chinese actress, has to change her dwelling places for three times to protect her sons due to the fanatical paparazzi. It is definitely understandable that a super star should have privacy and an ordinary life.
相信你如果只看以上兩個段落可能并不會覺得有什么問題，但是如果我們結(jié)合起來題目，不免會產(chǎn)生一些猶疑，也就是很多學生經(jīng)常有的一種感受，叫做“怪怪的”，這樣寫得話真的對嗎?
我們先來分析下題目：
“你是否同意：電視、報紙、雜志以及其他媒體過于關(guān)注名人(比如公眾人物或者明星)的私生活了。”
對于這樣的問題，我們該如何切題得回答呢?咱們不妨來打個比方，如果你跟你的朋友抱怨“我媽最近太關(guān)注我學習了”，那么接下來你的解釋應(yīng)該選擇以下哪種思路呢?
1. 她老人家天天盯著我寫作業(yè)，每天檢查我做了多少道題，每周都會跟我們班主任溝通我上課的情況，導致我現(xiàn)在壓力非常大，每天都神經(jīng)緊繃，上課也非常緊張，怕老師跟我媽打小報告;
2. 我媽不應(yīng)該這么關(guān)注我學習，她這樣做導致我每天都神經(jīng)緊繃，上課也非常緊張，怕老師跟我媽打小報告，她也應(yīng)該關(guān)心關(guān)心我的心理狀態(tài)還有我的日常生活。
很明顯，第一種回答方法，是先對于“我媽關(guān)注我學習”進行了解釋，然后又說了下這樣的關(guān)注產(chǎn)生的后果，來說明“已經(jīng)過頭了”，而第二種回答方式，雖然也有說到“關(guān)注的后果”，但是重點則是在討論“我媽該不該這樣做，我媽應(yīng)該怎樣做才對”。雖然上面兩種回答中有相同的地方，但是出發(fā)點不一樣，導致終點勢必有些區(qū)別。很明顯第一種答法更符合題目要求，既回應(yīng)了“關(guān)注”又回應(yīng)了“太”。
類比一下上面的作文題目，如果我同意，應(yīng)該論述的是“媒體就是太關(guān)注了”，反之，應(yīng)該論述的是“媒體并沒有過分關(guān)注”，至于“媒體是否應(yīng)該關(guān)注”，這個論題并不是我們重點要討論的內(nèi)容，但是“媒體過分關(guān)注所產(chǎn)生的后果”可以作為一部分支持論述來支持“too much”。
在上文的寫作片段中，作者從開頭段開始就已經(jīng)走在了一條不太正確的道路上：“…a great deal of attention is paid to the personal lives of celebrities … However, I believe that what the media should do is to protect and respect the lives of public figures rather than giving too much exposure.”他用一句話回應(yīng)了題目，而立場則開始帶入了明顯的評價。接下來在讓步段，前半段他說明的是媒體這樣做的意義或產(chǎn)生的正作用，但是接下來話鋒一轉(zhuǎn)，說媒體不該這樣做，這樣的做法其實并沒有尊重名人們的隱私，并用影星張柏芝的例子來證明，媒體這樣的報道所產(chǎn)生的問題。如此種種，該考生已經(jīng)沉浸在自己所設(shè)定的題目中了，即討論“媒體是否應(yīng)該過分關(guān)注明星”，至于“pay attention”這個關(guān)鍵詞卻并沒有給出明確的回應(yīng)，因此即使語言再好，恐怕得分也不會太高。
