GRE作文 ETS官方Issue主題范文(五)

What is important is that secondary students develop and grow in the hands of the professionals.

The secondary educational experience is designed to prepare a student for college.  It is in college where the individual learns to examine the world and how it works, and the individual's place in it.

As for duty, it is the educators' duty not simply to determine the curriculum, but to present it effectively.  They cannot half-heartedly paint it on the blackboard, they must enliven it and actually teach.  Hard work must be lauded, while freeloaders are punished.  These are the duties of teachers, and the duty of the students is not just to learn or study, but to grow. An independent mind is what students need, and that mind has to be in a position to want and be able to question beyond the material presented, not simply to question its legitimacy. That distinction, though subtle, is the difference between letting the students follow a self-destructive course of premature self-determination on the one hand , and permitting on the other hand the fostering of great talents through a cooperative, mentoring relationship

COMMENTARY

This is an insightful, well-articulated discussion of curricular responsibility and the larger issue of academic responsibility.  After a brief introduction examining assumptions implied by the topic, the writer skillfully develops the position that letting students dictate the curriculum could dilute the educational experience.  Allowing students to determine the curriculum, the writer claims, will deny them the guidance and direction they need to learn academic responsibility.

The line of reasoning is strengthened by the discussion of how teachers and students can work in partnership to satisfy the needs of students.  The argument is further advanced with concrete examples from high school courses showing how teachers provide guidance for students through group collaboration, development of interpersonal skills, and preparation for college.  The examples are varied (from condom use to reading Angelou, Yeats, or Euripedes) and used effectively to further support the writer's position.

In the conclusion, the writer thoughtfully discusses how educators should not only determine the curriculum but present it in an enlivened and appropriate manner.  The final sentence, contrasting a "self-destructive course of premature self-determination" and "a cooperative, mentoring relationship," ties the essay together.

The essay is clearly organized, although the writer does not rely on conventional phrases (such as "first," "second," etc.) to signal the organizational structure.  Instead, the organization and focus progress through the line of reasoning that moves fluently and coherently from one paragraph to the next.

Language use is generally precise and effective (e.g., "holding royalty accountable to the mob"), and sentence structure is well controlled (e.g., "hard work must be lauded, while freeloaders are punished").  The few errors are minor, the kind that can easily be made -- and forgiven -- under testing conditions.

This outstanding response received a score of 6.

SAMPLE-2 (score 5)

FROM WHENCE SHOULD CURRICULUM COME?

"It is unfortunate that today's educators place so much emphasis on finding out what students want to include in the curriculum and then giving it to them.  It is the educator's duty to determine the curriculum and the students' duty to study what is presented to them."

As an elementary educator, I believe this stance is extremist.  Educators and the public must come to a middle road.  The high road and the low road are intimated in this statement.  I believe the high road on this topic (from whence should curriculum come) represents a nouveau approach.  Ask the students what they want to learn and study for the year; then meander, research and branch off of their interests.