美國(guó)流行笑話：Where did you get that haircut 你在哪里理的發(fā)

148　Where did you get that haircut 你在哪里理的發(fā)

Bob walked into Mike's Barber Shop for his regular haircut. Mike asks, “What's up?” Bob proceeds to explain he's taking a vacation to Rome. “ROME?” Mike says, “Why would you want to go there? It's a crowded dirty city full of Italians! You'd be crazy to go to Rome! So how Ya getting there?” “We're taking TWA,” Bob replies. “TWA?” yells Mike. “They're a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they're always late! So where you staying in Rome?” Bob says, “We'll be at the downtown International Marriot.” “That DUMP?” says Mike. “That's the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and slow and they're overpriced! So whatcha doing when you get there?” Bob says, “We're going to go see the Vatican and hope to see the Pope.” “HA! That's rich!” laughs Mike, “You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on THIS trip. You're going to need it!”

A month later, Bob comes in for his regular haircut. Mike says, “Well, how did that trip to Rome turn out? Betcha TWA gave you the worst flight of your life!” “No, quite the opposite” explained Bob. “Not only were we on time in one of their brand new planes, but it was full and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old flight attendant who waited on me hand and foot!” “Well, I bet the hotel was just like I described.” “No, quite the opposite! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling. It's the finest hotel in Rome, now. They were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the Presidential suite for no extra charge!” “Well,” Mike mumbles, “I KNOW you didn't get to see the Pope!” “Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican, a Swiss guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into this private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, after 5 minutes the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand. I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me.” Impressed, Mike asks, “Tell me, please! What'd he say?” “Oh, not much really. Just ‘Where did you get that awful haircut?’”

鮑勃到麥克的理發(fā)店剪頭。麥克問(wèn)他：“有什么新鮮事？”鮑勃說(shuō)他要到羅馬去度假。麥克說(shuō)：“羅馬？你為什么要到羅馬去？那是一個(gè)又臟又?jǐn)D、滿是意大利人的城市。你一定是發(fā)瘋了才要到羅馬去。那么你們?cè)趺慈ツ兀?rdquo;鮑勃說(shuō)：“我們乘TWA去。”“TWA！”麥克大喊起來(lái)，“那是糟透了的航空公司。他們的飛機(jī)陳舊，空中小姐都很丑，他們還老是晚點(diǎn)。那么你們到羅馬住哪里呢？”鮑勃說(shuō)：“我們要住在羅馬市中心國(guó)際萬(wàn)豪酒店。”麥克說(shuō)：“那個(gè)垃圾？那是羅馬最糟的酒店！房間小，服務(wù)又慢又生硬，價(jià)錢還忒貴。那么你們?cè)诹_馬要干什么呢？”鮑勃說(shuō)：“我們要去梵蒂岡，希望能見(jiàn)到教皇。”“哈！夠勁兒的。”麥克大笑起來(lái)，“你和成千上萬(wàn)的人擠著去看他。他看起來(lái)就像螞蟻那么大一點(diǎn)兒。乖乖，祝你一路交好運(yùn)。你會(huì)需要好運(yùn)的。”

一個(gè)月以后，鮑勃又到麥克的理發(fā)店剪頭。麥克問(wèn)他：“你的羅馬旅行怎么樣？我敢打賭TWA是你這輩子飛過(guò)的最差航線了吧？”鮑勃解釋說(shuō)：“不，恰恰相反。我們不但坐了他們的新飛機(jī)，飛行正點(diǎn)，而且因?yàn)闈M員，讓我們免費(fèi)升級(jí)到一等艙。食物和酒都很棒。而且有一位28歲的漂亮空中小姐盡心盡意地為我服務(wù)。”“那么我敢打賭，旅館一定像所我說(shuō)的那樣糟。”“不，恰恰相反。他們剛剛完成了2500萬(wàn)美元的裝修，現(xiàn)在是羅馬最好的旅館了。他們的客房預(yù)定過(guò)了頭。所以向我們道歉，讓我們免費(fèi)升級(jí)到總統(tǒng)套房。”麥克喃喃地說(shuō)：“嗯，我知道你們沒(méi)有見(jiàn)到教皇。”“事實(shí)上，我們非常幸運(yùn)。我們?cè)阼蟮賹^光的時(shí)候，一位瑞士衛(wèi)兵拍拍我的肩膀，向我解釋說(shuō)教皇愿意單獨(dú)會(huì)見(jiàn)一些觀光客。如果我肯賞光到教皇的房間等候，教皇會(huì)單獨(dú)會(huì)見(jiàn)我。確實(shí)，五分鐘以后教皇從門里出來(lái)和我握手。我跪下來(lái)。他對(duì)我說(shuō)了幾個(gè)字。”麥克的心被打動(dòng)了，說(shuō)：“快告訴我，他說(shuō)什么了？”鮑勃說(shuō)：“哦，沒(méi)說(shuō)多少。他只是問(wèn)我這么難看的頭發(fā)是在哪里理的。”