英語幽默笑話大全爆笑精選

　　英語幽默笑話大全爆笑精選（一）: 男人不喜歡幽默的女生

　　If you want to impress a man, don't try to be funny.

　　如果你想給一個(gè)男人留下好印象，那么不要試圖太有趣。

　　Research shows that men aren't hugely attracted to witty women.

　　研究表明，機(jī)智幽默的女人對(duì)男人沒有太大的吸引力。

　　Given the choice of a female who makes him laugh, or one that laughs at his jokes, he will choose the latter.

　　如果讓男人選擇讓她笑的女人還是聽他的笑話笑的女人，他會(huì)選擇后者。

　　Luckily, women aren't too worried about their jokes being appreciated. They, it seems, like men who make them smile.

　　幸運(yùn)地是，女人不太擔(dān)心她們的笑話會(huì)不會(huì)被欣賞。他們似乎更喜歡讓她們笑的男人。

　　It is thought that women see the ability to make people laugh sign of intelligence – and men have evolved to show off how good they are with words.

　　女人把讓人們笑的能力當(dāng)做是聰明的標(biāo)志，男人已經(jīng)演變的擅長賣弄他們對(duì)文字的操控能力是多么的游刃有余。

　　The University of Miami researchers quizzed more than 80 men and women about how much importance they placed on having a partner who could make them laugh.

　　有個(gè)讓他們笑的對(duì)象到底有多重要?邁阿密大學(xué)的研究員采訪了80多位男人和女人。

　　The answers revealed that women like men make them laugh, while men want to go out with women who appreciate their humour.

　　答案顯示，女人喜歡讓他們笑的男人，然而男人想要跟欣賞他們的幽默的女人約會(huì)。

　　Given that women tend to be more choosy, men are under pressure to make them laugh.

　　考慮到女人們變得更加挑剔，男人也有逗她們笑的壓力。

　　Miss Hone, who is close to completing her PhD, said: 'Given that humour requires high-level linguistic capacity, women are thought to use humour production as a sign that a man is a mentally-capable suitor.'

　　將要獲得博士學(xué)位的Hone小姐說：‘鑒于幽默需要高水平的語言能力，女人把幽默作品看做是男人是個(gè)充滿智慧的追求者的標(biāo)志。’

　　However, she said that funny women shouldn't despair. There is also hope for bachelors who never remember punch lines.

　　然而，她說，有趣的女人不應(yīng)該絕望。還有希望，還是有很多單身漢不會(huì)妙語連珠的。

　　This is because her results were based on averages – and not everyone will have the same taste.

　　這是因?yàn)樗慕Y(jié)果是基于平均值的，并且不是每個(gè)人的品位都是相同的。

　　英語幽默笑話大全爆笑精選（二）:讀點(diǎn)笑話學(xué)英語：最丑的孩子?

　　A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

　　一位女士抱著她的寶寶上公交車，司機(jī)看到后說：“額，那是我這輩子見過的最丑的小孩。”

　　The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

　　女士走到車廂后面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對(duì)旁邊的男士說：“司機(jī)剛剛羞辱了我。”男士回應(yīng)說：“你快上去斥責(zé)他。去吧，我替你抱著你的猴子。”

　　【注釋】

　　1. fume - to be angry about something 發(fā)怒，生氣

　　常用介詞搭配：fume at/over/about

　　例如：fume about what he said 對(duì)他所說的話感到生氣

　　2. tell somebody off 斥責(zé)，責(zé)罵

　　tell somebody off for doing something 因?yàn)槟橙俗瞿呈露?zé)罵他/她

　　例如：The boss is always telling me off for being late, even though he is late every day! 我的老板總拿遲到的事斥責(zé)我，即便他自己天天遲到!

　　英語幽默笑話大全爆笑精選（三）: 區(qū)別 Difference

　　"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles.

　　"When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."

　　“研究生班和本科生很容易就能區(qū)別開來，”在洛杉磯加利福利亞州立大學(xué)給我們研究生上工程學(xué)課的老師如此說。

　　“我說‘下午好’，本科生們回答說‘下午好’。研究生們則把我說的話記在筆記本上。”

　　英語幽默笑話大全爆笑精選（四）:《狗住旅店》

　　一個(gè)人給一家他計(jì)劃在假期里停留的小旅館寫了封信，“我非常希望帶著我的狗，它很干凈很有教養(yǎng)，你能允許它和我睡一間屋子嗎?”

　　旅館主人立即回了封信，“我經(jīng)營旅館很多年了，狗從沒偷過毛巾，床單， 餐具，或者墻上的畫。我也從沒有在半夜因?yàn)楣泛茸砗[而趕走它，狗也從不不付帳就跑掉。實(shí)際上我們非常歡迎您的狗來我們旅館，如果它為您擔(dān)保，也歡迎您來。

　　A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

　　An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

　　我要做的一切就是付錢 !All I do is pay

　　All I do is pay

　　"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My

　　wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,

　　and my daughter is foreign secretary."

　　"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your

　　position?"

　　"I’m the people. All I do is pay."

　　我要做的一切就是付錢

　　布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就象一個(gè)國家一樣。我妻子

　　是財(cái)政部長。我岳母是作戰(zhàn)部長，我女兒是外交秘書。”

　　“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說，“那你的職務(wù)是什么呢?”

　　“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢。”