The One With The Apothecary Table
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is there as Joey enters happily.]
Joey: Hey!
Ross: Hey!
Joey: Listen, do you guys think I have a chance with Janine?
Monica: Honey, we have been through this before!
Rachel: Yeah. Don’t do this to yourself.
Phoebe: She’s made it pretty clear, it is not going to happen.
Joey: Well all right then, I guess I shouldn’t get to excited about the fact (excitedly) that I just kissed her!
Monica: You serious?!
Chandler: That’s great!
Monica: Really?!
Phoebe: Yeah well, we’ll see.
Ross: You kissed her.
Joey: Oh we kissed it up real nice.
Chandler: So you kissed her, so what happened after that?
Joey: I came over here to tell you guys.
Chandler: So she’s just waiting over there for ya?
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Janine are pretty much making out at one of the tables as Monica and Rachel look on from the couch.]
Janine: I gotta go.
Joey: Okay. (They kiss.)
Janine: I’m gonna be really late for dance class!
Joey: Okay. (They kiss.)
Janine: Okay, now I’m really late. (Gets up.)
Joey: Okay, I’m all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? (She kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave.)
Janine: (to Monica and Rachel) Bye.
Monica: Bye. (Janine exits.)
Joey: Have you kissed her yet? It’s awesome! I could do it forever! Y’know what? She-she kisses better than my mom cooks!
Monica: I am so glad you said cooks.
Rachel: I know.
Chandler: (entering) Oh hey Rachel, sweetheart? You have got to tell the post office that you have moved. Okay? We are still getting all your bills and stuff. (Hands her all of her bills and stuff.)
Rachel: Oh-oh, Pottery Barn! (Grabs the aforementioned catalog and holds the rest back out to Chandler.) You can throw the rest away.
Chandler: I’m not your garbage man. I’m your mailman.
Rachel: Monica look! Look-look-look! Here is that table that I ordered. (Shows her the picture.)
Monica: You got it from Pottery Barn?!
Rachel: Yeah! It’s an apothecary table. Does anyone even know what an apothecary is?
Chandler: A pharmacist. (Rachel mocks him.)
Monica: Rach, Phoebe hates Pottery Barn.
Joey: I hate Pottery Barn too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed!
Chandler: You took off your pants and climbed under the sheets!
Joey: (indignant) I was tired!
Rachel: Phoebe hates Pottery Barn?!
Monica: Yeah, she hates all mass produced stuff. She thinks her furniture should have a history, a story behind it.
Rachel: Well this has story behind it! I mean they had to ship it all the way from the White Plains store.
Monica: It’s gotta be one of a kind. Y’know like umm, y’know uh, what’s that God awful ceramic fruit bowl she has on her counter?
Joey: Hey! I made that for her!
Chandler: You made pottery?
Joey: Yeah! I made it of this fruit bowl I found in the garbage.
Monica: I’m telling—If you put that in her apartment you’ll never hear the end of it.
Rachel: Okay fine! I’ll-I’ll just tell her it’s an antique apothecary table, she doesn’t have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
Chandler: Ahh, just like the apothecary tables of yore…
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
Chandler: …so then the farmer says, "That’s not a cow and you’re not milking it." (Everyone laughs.)
Monica: I am so glad you guys got together, Chandler and I are always looking for a couple to go out with and now we have one!
Chandler: Look at us, we’re a couple of couples!
Janine: I had so much fun tonight, and what a great restaurant.
Monica: Yeah.
Joey: And Chandler I can’t believe I let you pay for this one. (They hug and he whispers in his ear.) Thanks man.
Monica: So do you guys gonna come over tomorrow? I’ll make that pasta thing I was telling you about.
Janine: Oh that would be great!
Joey: Oh, but hey look, at least let us bring the wine.
Monica: Joey, you don’t have too!
Joey: Nope-op! I insist! (He hugs Chandler again and whispers to him.) You get the wine right?
Chandler: Yeah all right. (They part.) Okay, good night guys.
Joey: See ya tomorrow!
Monica: Tomorrow!
Janine: Can’t wait! (They each go into their respective apartments.)
[Cut to Joey and Janine’s.]
Janine: How are we gonna get out of that one?
Joey: What?
Janine: I can’t handle two nights in a row with them.
Joey: What-what’s wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Janine: I don’t know, they’re just a little blah!
Joey: Blah?!
Janine: Well y’know, he’s blah, she’s just—she’s very loud for such a small person.
Joey: Uh, they’re like my best friends. Are you saying we can’t hang out with them? ‘Cause that would kinda be a problem.
Janine: No! Of course we can still hang out with them. Just y’know, not two nights in a row. Okay?
Joey: I guess.
Janine: Thank you. (They kiss.)
Joey: If you want, I’ll sell my friends and use the money to buy you presents.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is placing CDs into her antique apothecary table as Phoebe returns home.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Rachel: Hey!
Phoebe: (sees the table) Ooh, what a great table! Where-where did you get it?
Rachel: Guess!
Phoebe: Umm, a flea market?
Rachel: Ha! See, I knew, I knew you’d get it on the first guess. Isn’t it cool! It’s an apothecary table.
Phoebe: Wow! Oh you can just imagine that this is where (She’s opening and closing the drawers) they kept all the stuff to make their potions.
Rachel: Ohh, yes.
Phoebe: Y’know? Ooh, you can almost smell the opium.
Rachel: Almost.
Phoebe: How much was it?
Rachel: It was only 500 bucks.
Phoebe: 500 bucks at a flea market?!
Rachel: Oh, okay see I thought, I thought you meant how much was it when it was new, y’know like back then.
Phoebe: Oh no.
Rachel: Yeah no, I mean it was at a flea market, so it was y’know, it was like a dollar.
Phoebe: A dollar?
Rachel: And fifty. So it was like one and fifty dollars.
Phoebe: Ohh, okay, they gave you the old time pricing.
Rachel: Yeah.
Phoebe: Well, what period is it from?
Rachel: Uh, it’s from yore. Like the days of yore. Y’know?
Phoebe: Yes, yes I do. God, oh it’s just perfect! Wow! I bet it has a great story behind it too. Did they tell you anything? Like y’know where it was from or…
Rachel: Yes! That I know, this is from White Plains.
Phoebe: (gasps) White Plains. Oh, it sounds like such a magical place.
[Scene: Ross’s apartment, Rachel is entering as Ross comes out of the kitchen carrying popcorn.]
Rachel: Hey! We’re here!
Ross: Hey!
Rachel: (seeing his new table) Ohh! Oh my God!
Ross: You like it?
Rachel: Oh no!
Ross: It’s my new apothecary table!
Rachel: Ross! Phoebe’s gonna be here any second, she cannot see this!
Ross: Well why not?! She’ll-she’ll love it! It’s the real thing! I got it at Pottery Barn.
Rachel: I know you did! I bought the same one! And if she sees your table she’s gonna know that I lied to her. I told her ours was an original.
Ross: Why did you do that?
Rachel: Because she hates Pottery Barn.
Ross: She hates Pottery Barn?!!
Rachel: I know! I know, she says it’s all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, she’s gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
Ross: What? No! No! I am not gonna hide it from Phoebe—Ooh, although I did get some great Pottery Barn sheets! (Gets them.)
Rachel: Ooo! Oh, I forgot they made sheets!
Ross: Uh, yeah! I still can’t believe she hates Pottery Barn!
Rachel: Ross, get over it! It’s not like she hates you.
Ross: Yeah but Pottery Barn! Y’know what I think? It’s just she-she’s weird. Y’know it’s because she’s a twin. Twins are weird.
Rachel: Ross, she’s not weird, she just wants her stuff to be one of a kind.
Ross: Huh. Y’know what’s not one of a kind? A twin!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Hey!
Ross: Hey!
Rachel: Ooh, Phoebe’s here! Okay, let’s turn out all the lights and we’ll just watch the movie!
Phoebe: Okay. Hey—Ooh, cool sheets! (Notices the sheet over the table.)
Ross: Oh, you like it? You wanna know where I got it?
Phoebe: Sure!
Rachel: He got it a flea market!
Phoebe: You bought your sheets at a flea market? Ross come on, you gotta loosen the purse strings a little.
[Scene: Joey and Janine’s, Joey is pacing around as Chandler and Monica enter.]
Monica: Hey!
Joey: Hi!
Monica: The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.
Chandler: And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. (Hands it to him.) You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldn’t afford it, because you paid dinner last night.
Joey: Thanks. Thanks, but uh actually it’s just gonna be me again tonight.
Monica: What happened to Janine?
Joey: Oh, she’s uh-uh really sick.
Chandler: Oh that’s too bad.
Joey: Yeah, she’s been in there all day (Points to her room), uh high fever, a nose problem… Phlegm! Phlegm! Phlegm-phlegm-phlegm!
Janine: (entering from her room) Monica! Chandler! I’m really-really sorry about tonight. I don’t know if Joey told you; I just couldn’t get out of going to this play. I’m sorry. Have a great time.
Joey: ‘Kay!
Janine: Bye. (Exits)
Chandler: That’s funny, I saw no phlegm.
Commercial Break
[Scene: Joey and Janine’s, continued from earlier.]
Joey: No-no, she really is sick!
Chandler: Then why-why is she going to a play?!
Joey: Uh, y’know, starve a fever, go to a play for a cold.
Monica: Joey! Why is Janine not coming over for dinner?!
Joey: Well uh, she didn’t want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. I’m so sorry.
Chandler: Well, why does she not want to hang out with us?!
Joey: Because she uh, she-she thinks that you are blah and that you, Monica, are too loud.
Monica: (loudly) What?!! (Quietly) What?
Chandler: So she was just pretending to have a good time last night? She was lying to our faces?!
Monica: Ugh, I can not believe this! I mean, who is she to judge us? We could not have been nicer to her!
Chandler: And I am not blah, I am a hoot!
Joey: I know! I know! Come on, please-please you guys, don’t-don’t be mad. I’m sure she just, she just said that stuff because she was nervous and you guys are like my best friends! Y’know? And it was our first date! Plus, she’s really sick!
Chandler: No, you sh—No you said you made that up!!
Joey: I know, but don’t you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?
Chandler: Eh, they’re both good. I generally just go with, Monica’s drunk again. (Monica glares at him.)
Joey: Come on you guys, come on please-please just give her another chance, huh? She’ll come around I promise.
Monica: Of course we will, come on we gotta make dinner.
Chandler: Okay.
(They exit and close the door.)
Monica: (from the hallway) I do not like that woman!
Joey: (shouting) I can hear you!
Monica: I am loud!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
All: Aww! (They all laugh.)
Rachel: That’s funny. (Phoebe puts her feet up on Ross’s table.)
Ross: Hey Pheebs, could you please not put your feet up on my new…(On Rachel’s glare)…old sheet?
Phoebe: Oh sure! (She goes to take her feet off, but drags the sheet with her which spills the wine.) Noo!
Rachel: Ohh!!
Ross: My apothecary table!!!
Phoebe: What?!
Rachel: Noooooo!! (Phoebe lifts up the sheet to discover the exact same apothecary table they have.)
Phoebe: Ross, where did you get this?!
Ross: I got it at Pottery Barn!! Okay?!
Rachel: Oh my God, Phoebe, Pottery Barn has ripped off the design of our antique!
Phoebe: Wow! Oh my God, well if they’ve ripped off our table ours must be much more than one and fifty dollars!
Rachel: Oh yes.
Phoebe: Well this doesn’t even smell like opium.
Ross: Of course not, it smells like wine, which you spilled! And thanks for wrecking my sheet by the way.
Phoebe: Oh Ross, calm down, I’ll give you the 80 cents. (Ross glares at Rachel)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Chandler: Okay, one more time.
Monica: Chandler, would you like some more orange juice?
Chandler: Perfect decibel.
Monica: (loudly) I know!!!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Hey.
Joey: So uh, what are you guys doing?
Chandler: Oh nothing, we’re just talking. Y’know, blah-blah-blah.
Joey: Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine.
Monica: Well, I’d like to but, (extremely quietly) I’m not sure we have time to go.
Joey: Ha-ha, very funny—Look! I don’t know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Monica: We owe you?!
Joey: That’s right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars!
Monica: We didn’t give you any money! (Chandler is motioning, "No!")
Joey: You don’t think I know that!
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is showing Ross around the newly decorated living room.]
Rachel: …see I can’t decide whether it would go better next to the new wicker dining chair, the Sahara desk, or the Parker console table.
Ross: Wow! I didn’t know that there was a Pottery Barn up here.
Rachel: I know, I know. I went a little crazy.
Ross: A little? Your place looks like page 72 of the catalogue. Oh look at that! The ornamental bird cage! Large!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Hey.
Phoebe: (sees Ross) Oh Ross no. Be careful, that is very old! Okay? Early Colonial bird merchants used to bring their birds to market in that.
Ross: (glaring at Rachel) Fascinating.
Phoebe: (gasps) Another amazing find! Wow! Oh I bet this has a great story too!
Rachel: Oh it does, it does! It is a room separating apparatus from Colonial times.
Phoebe: Ah!
Ross: Hmm, a lot of this stuff is from Colonial times. Hey, what are some other time periods Rachel? (She glares at him.)
Rachel: Well there’s yore. And uh, y’know, yesteryear.
Phoebe: Yeah no, I’m telling you Rachel has such a great eye for this stuff. Ross, y’know if you ever decide you need to redecorate—And I think that you should. You should, you should ask Rachel to help.
Rachel: Oh honey he doesn’t need my help.
Phoebe: Oh, come on! I think he’s ready to get rid of, what did you call it? The cheap knock-offs and dinosaur junk.
Ross: Really?! (To Rachel) Hey, y’know what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, here’s-here’s 60 bucks, why don’t you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff.
Rachel: (not sure of what to do) Y’know what? I don’t, I don’t think Phoebe really wants to come.
Phoebe: No! I do want to!
Rachel: Oh, she does want to.
Ross: She does want to.
Phoebe: Yeah!
[Scene: The Street, Phoebe and Rachel are heading back from that Colonial flea market.]
Rachel: Pheebs, I don’t know what to say. I guess the flea market was just better last time.
Phoebe: Well at least I got these sheets for Ross.
Rachel: Yeah.
(They walk by a Pottery Barn window display.)
Phoebe: Uck, look at this! Pottery Barn, yuck!
Rachel: Yeah, y’know what? Don’t look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, don’t look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: No! Look-look! There’s the coffee table they stole from us!
Rachel: Ugh, those bastards! Let’s go.
Phoebe: That fan kinda looks like ours. And the birdcage and the…wait a sec! This is our exact living room!
Rachel: No! No! No! No it’s not! No it’s not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we don’t have the… (Looks desperately for something different.) We don’t have the…that lamp! And-and that screen is y’know, on the other side.
Phoebe: Oh my God. This is where you got all our stuff, Pottery Barn! Oh my God!
Rachel: Okay! Okay-okay look—no I did, I just wanted this stuff and I know how you feel about Pottery Barn. Just… Come on don’t be mad.
Phoebe: No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And it’s all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I don’t have that lamp!
Rachel: Well then honey, buy the lamp! Hey, we have that 60 bucks from Ross.
Phoebe: I can’t! I can’t! Unless… Well are you saying that-that you would move out if-if I didn’t buy that lamp?
Rachel: What?! No! I’m not gonna move out!
Phoebe: But are you saying that you would move out if I didn’t buy that lamp?
Rachel: (gets it) Oh. Yes! I would so move out!
Phoebe: Okay then I don’t have a choice! I have to buy that lamp!
Rachel: That’s right!
(They start to go inside.)
Phoebe: But at least the apothecary table is real.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey, Janine, Monica, and Chandler are returning from their second date.]
Joey: Well, this-this-this was great. Didn’t everybody have a great time?
Janine: Well I did. I really did. And you guys, I’ve got to say, I’m sorry if I was a little weird after the last time we went out. I guess I was just nervous or something.
Chandler: That’s totally understandable.
Monica: Don’t worry about it.
Janine: So we can go out again?
Chandler: Oh yeah!
Monica: Absolutely!
Janine: Oh good.
Joey: Oh well then, good night!
Monica: Good night! (They go into their respective apartments.)
[Cut to Joey and Janine’s, they’re entering.]
Joey: See? Eh, wasn’t that fun?
Janine: We have got to move!
Monica: (bursting in) I knew it!! Y’know, you’re not so quiet yourself, missy!
Chandler: And I’m blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment."
Janine: Y’know, I know you’re talking, but all I hear is, "Blah. Blah. Blah-blah-blah."
Monica: (steps up and points at her) All right! You and me! Let’s go! Right now!
Joey: All right! All right! Enough! Enough! Enough!! Enough! (To Chandler and Monica) You two go home! I-I-I gotta talk to Janine! (They start to leave.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Y’know I think you can take her.
Monica: (to Janine) You’d better hope I don’t see you in the hallway!! (They exit.)
Joey: All right, uh, we’ve got a little bit of a problem here. These people are my friends; you can’t treat them that way.
Janine: They said stuff to me too, y’know!
Joey: I know! I know! And I’m going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They… They’re like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I… I don’t think we can be together. It just, it just can’t work. It can’t. (Starts to break up) I’m very upset.
Janine: Okay. Okay. Would, would it help if I went over and apologized?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! That would be very helpful! Yeah. (He opens the door for her and she exits into the hallway.)
[Cut to the hallway, Janine is entering as Monica is taking out the garbage.]
Monica: What did I tell you about the hall?!
Janine: I was just coming over here to apologize for my behavior! I’d really like it if we could be friends.
Monica: Well, I know that would make Joey happy, so, I would like that too.
Janine: Great.
Monica: Now come on. (They hug like men.) Well, I’m glad we worked things out.
Janine: Me too.
Monica: Okay.
Janine: I’ll see you.
Monica: Bye. (Leaves to resume her garbage removal task.)
Janine: (muttering to herself) Or I’ll hear you.
Monica: (hearing that) That’s it big girl! (Hits Janine in the butt with the garbage bag) Come on!
Janine: Wait! (Janine pauses, then runs down the stairs.)
Monica: (chasing her) You’d better run!
(Joey and Chandler both come into the hallway.)
Chandler: Did you hear that?
Joey: Yeah uh, what am I gonna do?
Chandler: Yeah, I’m sorry man. (Pause) You wanna go watch?
Joey: Yeah! (They head downstairs.)
Ending Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Joey: How ya doin’?
Chandler: Hey so, did uh, did she move out?
Joey: Pretty much, yeah.
Monica: I cannot believe you broke up with her just like that.
Joey: Well, when it’s not right, you know it.
Chandler: You okay?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah. I’ll be all right.
Ross: Y’know what would cheer you up?
Joey: What?
Ross: I’m giving this lecture on erosion theories tomorrow night, I think you should come.
Joey: (laughing hysterically) You’re right! That did cheer me up!
End
嘿!
嘿!
聽著,你們認(rèn)為我跟Janine有機(jī)會(huì)嗎?
我們以前已經(jīng)討論過了!
Yeah. 不要再問這個(gè)問題了。
她已經(jīng)說得夠明白了,她跟你是不可能的。
好吧,我想我不應(yīng)該太興奮,但是我
剛吻了她?。?
說真的?
棒極了!
真的?
是嗎,我們會(huì)看到的。
你吻了她?
哦,這個(gè)吻棒極了。
那么,你吻了她,接下來怎樣?
接下來我就過來告訴你們這個(gè)好消息。
那么現(xiàn)在她就只是在那等你?
我得走了。
好的。
我的舞蹈課真的要遲到了!
好的。
Okay, 現(xiàn)在我真的遲到了。
好的,我等著你。但是,可以留下你的唇印嗎?
再見。
再見。
看到我剛才吻她了嗎!感覺棒極了!我吻她吻得樂此不疲!
她的吻比我媽媽做菜好多了!
我很榮幸你提到烹飪。
我知道。
瑞秋, 親愛的? 你得告訴郵局你搬家了,行嗎?你的賬單什么的還是寄到我們這兒來。
噢, Pottery Barn! 你可以把這些給扔一邊了。
我不是收垃圾的,我是遞郵件的。
莫尼卡 看看看!這是我訂的那個(gè)桌子。
你從 Pottery Barn訂的?!
對!這是個(gè)藥劑商用的桌子。誰知道藥劑商是什么?
配藥的唄。
瑞秋, 菲比不喜歡 Pottery Barn.
我也不喜歡Pottery Barn. 他們就因?yàn)槲易诖采暇桶盐肄Z出去了!!
你脫下了褲子并且在他們的床單上亂爬?。?
我當(dāng)時(shí)很累!
菲比不喜歡 Pottery Barn?
對,她不喜歡所有批量生產(chǎn)的產(chǎn)品。她認(rèn)為所有家具的背后都應(yīng)該有一段歷史故事。
但是這背后就有故事呀!這些家具他們可是從 White Plains運(yùn)來的??!
她喜歡另一種類型的。你知道那個(gè)她柜臺(tái)上那個(gè)難看的要死的陶瓷水果盤嗎?
嘿! 那是我給她做的!
你還做陶瓷?
當(dāng)然!我從垃圾堆里面撿的!
我可是跟你說過了,你要是把這張桌子放在你們的屋子里,你準(zhǔn)會(huì)聽到她抱怨不休的。
好吧,好吧!我只告訴她這是一張古代的藥劑師的桌子,她也不知道是從哪來的!
看這些小抽屜!上面說能放300張CD。
跟古代的藥劑商桌子沒什么兩樣嘛!
所以,那人說了,這不是母牛,你擠出來的不是牛奶?。?! ^_^(言外之意……)
我很高興你們來了,錢德和我正在找可以一塊出去玩的情侶呢!現(xiàn)在我們有啦!
看看吧,我們是“一對”一對情侶!
我今晚過得很高興,那家餐館也不錯(cuò)。
Yeah.
錢德,我真不敢相信我這次我讓你請的客。
謝謝了,伙計(jì)。
你們明天來這里吃飯好嗎?我會(huì)給你們做我剛才提到的意大利面條。
噢,太棒了
噢,但是至少讓我們帶瓶酒吧!
喬伊, 你不用非這么做的。
不,我堅(jiān)持要帶酒來。
你弄到酒了吧。
沒錯(cuò),搞定了。
大家晚安了。
明天見!
明天見!
非常期待!
那么,我們怎么從錢德和莫妮卡的邀請中脫身?
什么?
我可不敢連續(xù)兩天跟他們玩。
莫尼卡和錢德那里不對?
我不知道,也許他們嘴太貧了!
貧?
好吧,你知道錢德很貧。莫妮卡只是——很難想象那么小一個(gè)人,嗓門那么大。
Uh, 他們是我的好朋友。你是說我們不能跟他們交往嗎?這是個(gè)問題。
不,我們當(dāng)然能跟他們交往了。只是,不要連續(xù)兩天好不好,我有點(diǎn)受不了。
我想是的吧。
謝謝。
如果你愿意,我會(huì)把我的朋友們賣了然后用那些錢給你買禮物。
嘿!
嘿!
噢,多好一張桌子???從哪兒買的?
你猜!
Umm, 跳蚤市場?
哈!你看,我就知道你會(huì)一猜就中。
這很酷吧,看,這是個(gè)藥劑商的桌子。
Wow! 你可以想象這里就是他們裝藥的地方。
哦,對的。
你看,現(xiàn)在還能聞到鴉片味兒呢!
差不多啦。
多少錢?
就500塊。
500塊??。?!跳蚤市場????!
哦——你看,這是張非常新的舊貨。
噢,不。
我的意思是,在跳蚤市場,這個(gè)就是一塊錢。
一塊錢?!
再加五十塊。所以這桌子就是五十一塊錢買的。
嘿,確實(shí)很便宜啊。
Yeah.
這是什么年代來的?
Uh, 這是古代的。古代的懂嗎。
是的我懂。這桌子多好?。∥掖蛸€這張桌子后面肯定有一段精彩的故事! 賣桌子的人沒告訴你些什么嗎?例如它是從哪來的?
是的,它是從 White Plains運(yùn)來的。
White Plains. 噢,這是個(gè)多么充滿魔力的名字啊。(其實(shí)White Plains為紐約東北郊區(qū)一小鎮(zhèn)。)
嘿! 我們來啦!
嘿!
噢,天哪!
你喜歡嗎?
噢,不?。?!
這是我的新藥劑師桌子!
羅斯! 菲比一會(huì)就來了,不能讓她看見?。?
為什么不?我相信她會(huì)喜歡它的!我從Pottery Barn買來的。
我知道!我也買了同樣的桌子!如果她看見你也有這樣的桌子,她就知道我在騙她了。我跟她說這桌子是絕版。
你為什么這么說?
因?yàn)樗幌矚gPottery Barn。
她不喜歡Pottery Barn?!!
我知道,我知道!她說Pottery Barn的產(chǎn)品批量生產(chǎn),粗制濫造,且每個(gè)人的款式都一樣。
所以幫個(gè)忙吧!她馬上就來了!我們能有個(gè)什么蓋住它么?
不不,我可不想在菲比跟前藏住什么。噢,等等,我有非常好的Pottery Barn的床單!
哦!我忘了他們也出產(chǎn)床單!
呃,是的。我還是不能相信菲比不喜歡Pottery Barn!
羅斯, 別計(jì)較了!她又不是不喜歡你。
但是這是 Pottery Barn呀!她怎么能不喜歡呢?她這個(gè)人很古怪。雙胞胎就是很古怪。
羅斯, 她不古怪,她只是喜歡一種類型的家具罷了。
你知道什么不是一種類型嗎?一個(gè)雙胞胎!
嘿!
嘿!
哦, 菲比來了!我們把燈關(guān)了開始看電影吧!
好的。 嘿,哦,多漂亮的床單啊!
哦,你喜歡嗎?你想知道我從哪買的嗎?
當(dāng)然!
他從舊貨市場(跳蚤市場)買的!
你的床單從舊貨市場買的???。×_斯,別那么窮酸啦。該花的錢要花的。
嘿!
嘿!
晚餐再過20分鐘就開始了,多令人激動(dòng)啊!
這是你今晚要帶過來的那瓶酒。
你應(yīng)該給莫尼卡買花的,但還是算了吧。因?yàn)樽蛲沓燥埬愀兜腻X。
謝謝,謝謝。但我想今晚只有我去吃了。
Janine怎么了?
哦,呃————她病了。
噢,真抱歉。
她躺那兒一整天了,發(fā)高燒,并且流鼻涕!鼻涕鼻涕鼻涕!
莫尼卡! 錢德! 昨晚我非常非常抱歉。我不知道喬伊告訴你沒有,我今天必須去看這場戲。很抱歉,祝你們玩得開心。
再見。
很好玩,我沒看到什么鼻涕。
不不,她病得很重!
那,她還去看戲?!
呃——你知道,發(fā)燒很厲害,去看戲涼快涼快。
喬伊! 為什么Janine不來吃晚餐?!!
好吧,她不喜歡跟你們交往。
那么,為什么呢?
好吧,她認(rèn)為錢德你太貧,莫妮卡你太吵。
什么??什么?
那么她昨晚說過得很愉快就是撒謊了?
我還是不能相信,我們對她多好啊!
還有,我不是貧,我是有幽默感!
我知道,我知道!拜托你們別生氣了。
我認(rèn)為她只是今天有點(diǎn)不正常,你們才是我的好朋友啊!你知道嗎,那是我們第一次約會(huì)!
另外,她確實(shí)有點(diǎn)病!
不,你說那是你編出來的借口!
我知道,但是你們不認(rèn)為病了這個(gè)借口比看戲好嗎?
呃,兩個(gè)借口都不錯(cuò)。那么我去跟莫尼卡喝酒了。
拜托了,就再給她一次機(jī)會(huì)吧。我保證她會(huì)改變你們對她的看法的。
好吧,但愿她能。我們?nèi)コ酝聿桶伞?
好吧。
我不喜歡這個(gè)女人!
我能聽到!
我很吵!
Aww!
真好笑。(菲比把腳放在羅斯的桌子上。)
嘿,菲比,你能把腳別放在我的新…… (瑞秋瞪羅斯一眼) ……舊床單上嗎?
噢,當(dāng)然。
哦?。?!
我的藥劑師桌!
什么??。?!
不?。。?!
羅斯, 你從哪兒買的?
我從Pottery Barn買的,行嗎????!
哦,天哪,菲比, Pottery Barn剽竊了我們的桌子的設(shè)計(jì)!
Wow! 天哪,要使他們剽竊了桌子的設(shè)計(jì),那么我們的桌子就不止51塊錢了!
哦,是的。
好吧,這個(gè)沒有鴉片味兒。
當(dāng)然沒有了!它現(xiàn)在有酒味,你剛灑上去的!謝謝你剛弄糟了我的床單。
Oh 羅斯, 冷靜,我會(huì)給你八毛錢的。
好,再來一遍。
“錢德,你要再來些桔子汁嗎?”
分貝很恰當(dāng)。
我知道?。?!
嘿!
嘿.
你們在這做什么?
沒什么,我們只是在聊天。你知道,貧嘴-貧嘴-貧嘴。
伙計(jì)們,你們說過要適應(yīng)Janine的!我來要請你們跟我和Janine去看電影。
我倒是想去,(但是我們沒時(shí)間)。
哈哈,好玩,我可不是想讓你們沒意思!
求求你們來跟我們看電影吧,你們可是欠我一份人情的!
我們欠你人情????!
當(dāng)然,你們剛開始交往的時(shí)候我可是一直在幫你們呢! 你們偷偷交往了半年,我卻一直像個(gè)傻瓜!
我受到了侮辱,并且只賺了200塊!
我們沒給你錢??! (錢德做動(dòng)作:“不!”)
你們以為我不知道嗎?
看,我不知道該放在巫師餐椅,撒哈拉書桌,還是派克飯桌旁。
Wow! 這些不都是你從Pottery Barn買的嗎?
我知道,我知道。我只是有點(diǎn)購物癖復(fù)發(fā)。
有點(diǎn)?你的屋子里就跟產(chǎn)品目錄第72頁差不多!哦,看那個(gè)!裝飾鳥籠!大號的!
嘿!
嘿.
Oh 羅斯,不,這些都是非常古老的東西對吧?早期殖民地的鳥販子經(jīng)常用這種鳥籠把鳥運(yùn)到市場。
聽起來很棒。
另外一處,多漂亮?。?Wow! 我打賭這個(gè)也有很精彩的一段故事呢!
是的!是的!早期殖民者用它來分割房間!
Ah!
Hmm, 好多東西都是殖民時(shí)期的。有沒有別的時(shí)期的東西,瑞秋?
嗯,看,這是古代的。19世紀(jì)晚期的。
我跟你說,瑞秋在挑選古家具方面簡直是行家。
羅斯, 我不是跟你說過你要重新裝飾房間嗎?只要找瑞秋幫忙就搞定了。
哦,親愛的,他其實(shí)不需要我來幫助。
哦,沒什么的!我想他該扔掉那些——呃…… 你怎么稱呼來著?便宜,粗制濫造,不值錢的恐龍垃圾。
真的嗎?你確定?看來你還真是行家呢。
哦,這有60塊錢,你帶著菲比去幫我在 “殖民時(shí)期”跳蚤市場幫我選兩件東西吧。
你知道嗎?我不去,我想菲比不會(huì)想去的。
不!我當(dāng)然想去!
哦,她當(dāng)然想去。
她當(dāng)然想去。
Yeah!
菲比,我不知道該說什么了。這次跳蚤市場好東西沒有上回多。
起碼我給羅斯買了床單。
Yeah.
Uck, 看這個(gè)!Pottery Barn!真難看!
不要看它們,不要仔細(xì)看……
不!看看吧!他們把我們咖啡桌的設(shè)計(jì)也偷走了!
Ugh,真是混蛋!我們走吧!
那個(gè)風(fēng)扇也像我們的!還有那鳥籠…… 等一下!這就跟我們的客廳一樣??!
不!不!菲比,不一樣!你看,我們沒有……
……我們沒有那盞臺(tái)燈!還有那個(gè)屏風(fēng)!
哦,天哪,這就是你買來我們所有家具的地方! Pottery Barn!哦,天哪??!
好吧,好吧。我只是喜歡這些家具,我知道你不喜歡 Pottery Barn. 過來吧,別生氣了。
不不,我很生氣!很生氣!這些東西現(xiàn)在全部都在我的家里擺著,我怎么能不生氣!現(xiàn)在我在想你為什么沒有買那盞臺(tái)燈!
那么,我們買下吧!我這里正好有羅斯的60塊錢呢!
我不能,我不能!除非…… 你剛才說如果我不買那盞臺(tái)燈你就會(huì)搬出去?
什么?不,我才不搬出去呢!
但是你剛才確實(shí)說如果我不買那盞臺(tái)燈你就會(huì)搬出去!
哦,是的,要是你不買,我會(huì)搬的!
好吧,我現(xiàn)在沒的選擇了!我必須要買那盞臺(tái)燈了!
這就對了。
但是至少那張藥劑師桌是絕版!
wow,真棒。大家都玩得開心吧?
真的,我必須說,我要道歉。我前幾天是有點(diǎn)古怪,我收回那時(shí)的看法。
這是完全可以理解的。
別擔(dān)心了。
那么我們可以再出去玩嗎?
好??!
當(dāng)然了!
真好。
那么,晚安!
晚安!
看,他們不錯(cuò)吧?
我們必須要搬家了?。。?
我知道!你自己本身就不安靜,小姐!
我貧嗎? 比看現(xiàn)代舞表演更討厭的是,你一直在旁邊嘮叨:
“哦,錢德,我想我現(xiàn)在完全被感染了。”
你知道嗎,我知道你們在說話,可我聽到的只有BLAH,BLAH,BLAH.
好吧!你和我!咱們出去單挑!
好吧好吧好吧!夠了!夠了!你們兩個(gè)回家!我要跟Janine談?wù)劊。。?
你知道我相信你可以打翻她。
最好不要再讓我在走道里看見你!?。。?
好吧,現(xiàn)在這里有點(diǎn)小問題。問題就是,他們是我的朋友,你不能這樣對他們。
嘿!他們也對我大罵,你沒聽見嗎?
我知道我知道?。?!我馬上就去跟他們談。但你知道,他們對我多重要。好像家庭一樣。
如果你們老是意見不和,我想我們處不來。我們不可能總在吵架吧。
當(dāng)然不能。我很沮喪。
好吧。好吧。要是我去道歉,你會(huì)不會(huì)感覺好點(diǎn)?
當(dāng)然了,當(dāng)然!這會(huì)很有幫助的!
我剛跟你說過不要讓我在走廊里面看見你?。。?!
我只是來為我的所作所為道歉!我很希望我們能成為好朋友。
好吧,我知道這會(huì)使喬伊很高興,那么,我們和好吧。
太棒了。
來吧。
我很高興我們之間沒有矛盾了。
我也是。
好的。
再見。
再見。
我會(huì)試著聽你說話的。
就是嘛,蠢女孩!來吧?。?!
等等?。?
你最好跑路先?。?
你聽到了嗎?
是的,呃,我們該怎樣?
嗯,我很抱歉。想去看熱鬧嗎?
當(dāng)然了!
嘿!
怎么樣?
嘿,那么,她搬走了嗎?
呃,是的。
我不能相信你跟她分手了。
是的,我知道她不對。
你還好嗎?
是的!是的!我會(huì)好的。
你知道什么會(huì)使你振作起來嗎?
什么?
我明天晚上有一個(gè)關(guān)于地形侵蝕理論的演講,你來吧!
你是對的!這真的會(huì)使我振作起來!