當(dāng)你喜歡上某個(gè)人時(shí),你會(huì)特別注意他的行為,迫切想了解他的心意,但又可能因?yàn)閾?dān)心被拒絕而沒有告白的勇氣。好在除了直截了當(dāng)?shù)谋戆?,你還可以通過觀察一些跡象來判斷他的心意。如果你和他的關(guān)系之間存在以下8個(gè)問題,那么他可能真的只想和你做朋友。
1. You always make the first move
你總是主動(dòng)
You've gone to the movies, grabbed coffee, and even hit up an amusement park together. You had a fantastic time together and you can't wait to do it again. That's when you realize, though, that he's never the one extending an invite.
你們已經(jīng)看過電影、喝過咖啡,甚至去過游樂場。你們一起度過了美好的時(shí)光,而你對(duì)下次約會(huì)迫不及待。然而,此時(shí)你卻發(fā)現(xiàn),他從沒有主動(dòng)邀請(qǐng)你過。
If he's never initiating contact with you, he might be trying to send a message that he's not looking for a romantic relationship. He might be more than willing to tag along as a buddy, though!
如果他從不主動(dòng)地聯(lián)系你,那么他可能在向你釋放信號(hào):他并不想和你談戀愛。他可能更想做你的好朋友。
Pro tip: Take a break from reaching out if you're always the one making the first move. Either he will miss you and hit you up or your adventures will come to an end. It's better to know, right?
小貼士:如果你總是那個(gè)主動(dòng)的人,那就暫停聯(lián)系吧。他要么會(huì)想你,約你見面,要么你們的關(guān)系可能到此結(jié)束。好歹也要有個(gè)結(jié)果,對(duì)吧?
2. He talks up his friends
他談?wù)撍呐笥?/p>
When it's time to meet up, you make a real effort to put your best foot forward. You've showered and feel confident, you've got great things to talk about, and you easily establish that you're a pretty great catch.
當(dāng)你們要見面時(shí),你煞費(fèi)苦心以最佳狀態(tài)出現(xiàn)。你洗了澡,信心滿滿,你準(zhǔn)備了很多談資,你輕松建立了一個(gè)魅力十足的形象。
Why, then, is he talking about his friends? If it feels like he's playing matchmaker and suggests that you meet some of his boys, that's really not a good sign.
然而,他怎么談?wù)撈鹚暮门笥蚜?如果他好像開始扮演起媒人的角色,并且建議你認(rèn)識(shí)一些他的好哥們兒。這并不是什么好跡象。
Pro tip: Ask him to describe the kind of guy that he thinks is perfect for you. If it's the opposite of who he is, you've got your answer.
小貼士:問他認(rèn)為什么樣的男生最適合你。如果回答和他本人相反,你就清楚答案了。
3. You hang out in groups
你們和一群人一起出去
You've been dreaming of a little one-on-one time with your crush. You can't wait to have him alone so that you can build up the courage to tell him how you feel and see if there's any hope for a future together.
你已經(jīng)在幻想和喜歡的他獨(dú)處的時(shí)光。你迫不及待地想要和他單獨(dú)待在一起,這樣你就能鼓起勇氣告訴他你的感受,并確認(rèn)你們未來是否有可能在一起。
The problem is, though, that every time you make plans, he brings an entourage! If he's surrounded by a group of friends whenever you're together, he might be putting you in the friend zone.
然而,問題是每當(dāng)你有所計(jì)劃時(shí),他總會(huì)帶上他的“跟班”!如果每次你們?cè)谝黄穑紩?huì)帶上一群朋友,那么他可能是把你放在朋友的位置。
Pro tip: Invite him to do something that is clearly meant for two people and see what he says. If he balks or mentions how much better it would be if you went as a group, he probably doesn't want to be alone with you.
小貼士:邀請(qǐng)他做一些明顯只能兩個(gè)人做的事,看看他的反應(yīng)。如果他推三阻四,并表示一群人一起出去玩比較好時(shí),他可能不想和你單獨(dú)出去。
4. Your relationship is text-based
你們的關(guān)系僅限于“文字”
Maybe you're in a position where you wish you could actually see your crush under any circumstances — even if it's with a group of 50 of your closest friends for breakfast. You just want to see him!
你可能每時(shí)每刻都想見到喜歡的人——即使是和50個(gè)密友一起吃早餐的時(shí)候。你就是想要見到他。
When the guy you're interested in is happy to communicate by text but always finds a way to get out of meeting in person, he might not want to take the relationship to the next level.
當(dāng)那個(gè)人只喜歡和你短信交流,卻總找借口拒絕單獨(dú)見面時(shí),他可能并不想要和你進(jìn)一步發(fā)展。
Pro tip: If he doesn't have much of a social life at all, it could just be that this is a really busy time in his life. Let him know you'd love to hang out when he has the time. If he never makes time for you, move on.
小貼士:如果他根本沒有什么社交生活,那么也許他真的是太忙了。讓他知道當(dāng)他有空時(shí),你想和他出去。如果他從來不曾為你騰出時(shí)間,那么就放棄吧。
5. He talks about other girls
他談?wù)撈渌?/p>
It's one thing if you talk about a variety of other people — including exes — during your conversation, but it's another if the guy you like is constantly talking about women he finds attractive or interesting.
如果你們聊天時(shí)談到其他各種人,比如各種前任,這是一回事兒,但是如果你喜歡的對(duì)象不停談?wù)撍信d趣的女生,這又是另一回事兒。
Pay attention to the tone of these interactions and take them at face value. If he is trying to build a relationship with you, he will focus on getting to know you better instead of wasting time talking about other women.
注意這些對(duì)話的語氣,予以重視。如果他想要和你維持良好的關(guān)系,他會(huì)花更多的注意力在你身上,而不會(huì)浪費(fèi)時(shí)間討論其他女性。
Pro tip: If he's telling you about the dates he's going on, he clearly wants you to know that he's seeing other people.
小貼士:如果他告訴你他的約會(huì)計(jì)劃,那么他就是在明確告訴你他有喜歡的人了。
6. He doesn't make an effort
他從不為你花心思
When we like someone, we tend to go that extra mile to impress them. We might brush up on the things that they like, surprise them with their favorite meal, or even just put a little more effort into feeling and looking our best.
當(dāng)我們喜歡上一個(gè)人時(shí),為了給對(duì)方留下深刻印象,我們往往會(huì)多付出一些??赡軙?huì)牢記他們喜歡的東西,準(zhǔn)備他們最愛的食物制造驚喜,或者多花點(diǎn)心思讓自己處于最佳狀態(tài)。
Does the guy you're into look like he just rolled out of bed every time you see him? Does he forget your interests and let you make all of the plans? Do you feel unimportant? If so, you might want to find a new crush.
你每次看到喜歡的對(duì)象時(shí),他是不是看起來像剛起床的樣子?他會(huì)忘記你的興趣,讓你制定所有的計(jì)劃嗎?你有被輕視的感覺嗎?如果是這樣,你可能要換個(gè)人喜歡了。
Pro tip: If you feel like this is a one-sided relationship, even as a friendship, you need to decide whether it's truly worth your time.
小貼士:如果你覺得這是一段一頭熱的關(guān)系,即使是朋友關(guān)系,你也要決定是否有必要在上面浪費(fèi)時(shí)間。
7. He refers to you as a friend
他把你稱作朋友
One of the easiest ways to determine your status is to pay attention to how the guy you like introduces you to his friends. You should also take note of how they react to meeting you.
要想確定你在他心中的位置,最簡單的方法之一就是看他如何向他的朋友們介紹你。你也應(yīng)該注意他們見到你時(shí)的反應(yīng)。
Consider it a positive sign if he uses your first name (bonus points if people seem to have heard of you!), but if he makes a point of referring to you as his "friend," there's a good chance that he doesn't want you to become more than that.
如果他介紹你時(shí)不帶姓地稱呼你,那這是個(gè)積極的信號(hào)(如果他的朋友中有人似乎聽說過你,那么可以加分)。但是如果他稱你為他的“朋友”,那很可能說明,他不想和你超越這層關(guān)系。
Pro tip: If he puts extra emphasis on the fact that you are just friends in front of other women, take the hint.
小貼士:如果他在其他女人面前特別強(qiáng)調(diào)你和他僅僅是朋友……那就死心吧。
8. Be open to friendship
接受朋友關(guān)系
While it might be disappointing to learn that your crush doesn't share your romantic feelings, don't shut down the possibility of a friendship. If you have things in common and enjoy spending time together, try to see if you can manage your expectations.
雖然得知你喜歡的人并不喜歡你可能讓人很失落,但也別把成為朋友的可能性扼殺掉。如果你們有共同的愛好并且享受在一起的時(shí)光,那就試著調(diào)整自己的期望。
Of course, if it's too difficult and you find yourself pining over him, you should probably keep your distance. Also, never enter a friendship with the goal of making someone fall for you.
當(dāng)然,如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)這樣太困難了,而且你每天都在為他難過,你可能就需要和他保持距離了。此外,永遠(yuǎn)不要以“讓他人愛上你”為目標(biāo)開始一段友誼。
Instead, be cool and let things unfold on their own. Besides, who knows who you might find in his circle of friends, right?
相反,要保持淡定,讓一切順其自然。而且,誰知道你會(huì)在他的朋友圈遇到誰呢,你說對(duì)不對(duì)?