過節(jié)餐桌不談政治

Our sister who’s hosting Thanksgiving dinner just texted all the guests a *directive: “No talking politics when we get together for the holiday.”

我們主持感恩節(jié)晚宴的姐姐剛剛給所有客人發(fā)了一條手機短信：“感恩節(jié)聚會，請勿談政治。”

She’s trying to head off heated discussions because, two weeks post-election, people still haven’t cooled off. You think you know people, but you don’t know whom they voted for. And when you find out, you’re mad at them.

她在試圖阻止激烈討論的發(fā)生，因為大選結束兩周后，人們還是無法平靜。你以為你了解對方，但卻不知道他們把票投給了誰。而當你發(fā)現真相后，你會對他們非常生氣。

We’ll be able to *abide by the no-politics request because we’ve been avoiding sensitive subjects at family gatherings for years. We don’t ask Cousin Louise if she finally got her promotion. We don’t ask our sister’s friends if their son is still living in their basement.

我們會遵守“不談政治”的要求，因為多年來我們家庭聚會時一直是避免敏感話題的。我們不會問露易絲表妹最終是否獲得了晉升，也不會問姐姐的朋友他們的兒子是否還住在家里的地下室里。

Apparently, we’re not alone in avoiding the big, touchy questions. It’s a big enough problem that it warranted a solution because you can buy a T-shirt that reads, “No, I don’t have a boyfriend. I haven’t declared a major yet. I’ll let you know when I get a job.”

顯而易見，在避免談及這種重大、敏感的問題上我們并不是孤身一人。這是一個相當重大的問題，嚴重到需要一個解決辦法。因為你都可以買到那種T恤衫，上面寫著"不，我沒有男朋友""我還沒選定專業(yè)""當我找到工作時我會告訴你的"。

We’ve ordered five of these shirts for our college-age children and their friends who are tired of answering the same old questions from relatives who mean well but can’t help asking.

我們已經預定了5件這樣的T恤衫給我們到了上大學年紀的孩子們和他們的朋友們。因為他們厭倦了一遍又一遍回答親戚們的這些老套問題，這些親戚是出于好心，只是管不住嘴。

We’ve read the T-shirt so we know enough not to ask our niece if she has a new boyfriend, but we might dance around the subject and ask her if she knows about the Coffee Meets Bagel dating app.

我們見過T恤衫上的文字，所以我們會明智地不問我們的侄女是否有男友，但我們也許會旁敲側擊，問她是否知道一款叫作“咖啡遇上百吉餅”的相親應用。

We wouldn’t ask the young people if they’ve heard anything back from their on-campus job interviews. That’s too much pressure. However, we could tell them that we read an interesting article about Information Security Analysts. It pays well, you only need a bachelor’s degree and the field is expected to grow by 30 percent in the next five years.

我們不會問年輕人，校園工作招聘面試是否有回音，那樣會給他們太大壓力。但我們可以告訴他們，我們讀過一篇關于信息安全分析師的有趣文章。這種工作報酬不錯，只需學士學位，并且未來五年這一行業(yè)將會有30%的增長。

When our dinner host said “no politics,” we tried to think of other safe topics to talk about, but we realized that any topic could be a minefield. A simple “Did you watch the game last Sunday?” will likely bring out armchair quarterbacks and people who will tell you that they know how to manage the clock better than the coach.

當我們的晚宴主人說“勿談政治”時，我們試著去想一些其他可以談論的安全話題，但我們意識到任何話題都可能成為“雷區(qū)”。一句簡單的“你看了上周日的比賽了嗎?”都可能招來搖椅里的四分衛(wèi)的夸夸其談，還有人會告訴你，他們比教練更懂怎么掐表。

If we comment that, “We’ve been so lucky with this warm November weather,” it could be an invitation to those around the table who want to remind us that this warm weather is due to the deadly effects of global warming.

如果我們說“我們真是太幸運了，能碰上這樣一個溫暖的11月”，那么這句話可能成為餐桌上的“導火索”，有人會提醒我們，這樣溫暖的天氣是由全球變暖的致命影響造成的。

You know what’s safe? Keeping our mouths filled with delicious food so we can’t talk. “Pass the bowl of stuffing please, we want just a little bit more.”

你知道什么最保險嗎?用美味的食物堵住我們的嘴，這樣我們就說不了話了。“請把那個肉餡碗遞過來，我們想再要點兒。”

We want to make sure that we’ll still fit into our pantsuits.

我們要確保褲子不會被撐開。