It was a sad day when Walter Hartright left us. Laura stayed in her room all day, and I felt sad and depressed. Poor Mr Gilmore must have had a dull time, and the next morning, when Laura reappeared looking pale and ill, I thought he seemed rather anxious about her. I was anxious too. Laura is such a sensitive and loving person that it was no surprise to me to find that she had grown fond of Walter. Indeed, I have grown fond of him myself. But I honestly believe that time will cure Laura of these feelings.
Two days after Walter left, Sir Percival Glyde arrived. He is forty-five years old but seems younger. He is handsome, and only a little bald, has perfect manners, and is pleasant, agreeable, and respectful. I really must try to like him.
In the afternoon, while Laura was out of the room, Sir Percival referred to Anne Catherick's letter.
I read Mr Gilmore's letter to my lawyer,' he said, 'and I want to give you a full explanation. Mrs Catherick, you see, worked for me and my family for many years. Her marriage was unfortunate, in that her husband deserted her, and her only child, a girl, became mentally ill and needed to be put in an asylum. So, in recognition of Mrs Catherick's services, I agreed to pay the expenses of a private asylum for the girl. Unfortunately, the girl discovered this and consequently developed a hatred for me. She recently escaped from the asylum and I'm sure she wrote this letter because of her hatred for me. It's all very sad.'
Mr Gilmore found this explanation perfectly satisfactory, and said so. He then looked at me for agreement, but I was struggling with a sense of unease that I could not explain, and hesitated before answering. Sir Percival noticed this at once.
May I beg you, Miss Halcombe,' he said politely, 'to write to Mrs Catherick to ask if these facts are true?'
I did not want to agree to this, but how could I refuse, without making the situation even more embarrassing than it already was? So I went to the desk, wrote a note, and gave it to him. Without looking at it, he put it in an envelope and wrote the address.
Now that is done,' he said, 'may I ask if Anne Catherick spoke to Miss Fairlie, or to you?'
No. She spoke to nobody except Mr Hartright,' I replied.
Ah, yes, the drawing teacher,' he said thoughtfully. 'And did you discover where Anne Catherick was staying?'
I described the farm to him.
It is my duty to try to find her,' he continued. 'Tomorrow I will go to this farm and make enquiries.' Soon afterwards he left to go up to his room.
* * *
That evening and the next day Sir Percival took every opportunity to bring Laura into the conversation, but she hardly took any notice. He went to the farm to make his enquiries about Anne Catherick, but learnt nothing. Then on Wednesday a letter came from Mrs Catherick — a short, business-like letter, thanking me for my note and saying that everything Sir Percival had told me was completely correct.
Why did I still have doubts? This, surely, was enough proof for anyone, but how I wished that Walter Hartright had been there to give his opinion! At Sir Percival's request I now had to give Laura his explanation of Anne Catherick's letter. She listened quietly and showed no emotion, but I noticed that on the table near her hand was the little book of Hartright's drawings. I also had to tell her that the reason for Sir Percival's visit was to fix the day of their marriage.
I'm afraid he will ask you to decide quite soon, Laura.'
Oh no, Marian! I can't do that!' she said. 'Please ask him, beg him, to allow me more time. I promise to give him a final answer before the end of the year, but not yet, please, not yet.'
Sir Percival agreed to this request, and when Mr Gilmore heard about it, he arranged to have a private talk with Laura.
I have to return to London tomorrow,' he said to me, 'and I need to discuss the financial side of this marriage with Miss Fairlie before I go. As you know, she will inherit a great deal of money and property when she becomes twenty-one next March, and I must include all this in the marriage agreement in a way that reflects Miss Fairlie's own wishes, and is also acceptable to Sir Percival.'
He had the meeting with Laura the next morning, and in the afternoon he left for London, looking rather sad and thoughtful. Wondering what had been said, I hurried up to Laura's room.
Oh, Marian, come in,' she said. 'I need to talk to you.'
What is it, Laura? Is it about the marriage agreement?'
No. I couldn't even bear to discuss that with Mr Gilmore. I'm ashamed to say that all I could do was cry. He was very kind and good, Marian, and he said that he would look after everything for me. No, what I wanted to tell you was this. I cannot bear the situation any longer. I must end it.'
Her eyes were bright and she spoke with great energy. I began to feel alarmed. 'What do you wish to do, Laura darling? Do you want to be released from your promise to marry Sir Percival?'
No,' she said simply. 'I cannot break my promise to my father. But I want to tell the truth, and I will confess to Sir Percival that I love someone else.'
Laura! He has no right to know that!' I said in amazement.
I cannot deceive him,' she said. 'I have thought it over carefully. After I have told him, let him do as he wishes.'
I looked into her innocent, loving eyes and could say nothing. I just put my arms around her, trying not to cry myself.
May I speak to him tomorrow, in your presence, Marian?'
I held her tight and agreed — though I was not sure I was doing the right thing. Indeed, I was not sure of anything. I could not understand how I had failed to see how deeply she loved Walter Hartright. For the first time in my life I had made a mistake about her. Now I realized that she would love him all her life.
* * *
The first thing that happened the next morning did nothing to make me feel more cheerful. A letter arrived for me from poor Walter Hartright. He had decided to leave England and asked me if I could help him find employment abroad. I was then alarmed to read that since his return to London he had neither seen nor heard anything of Anne Catherick, but suspected he had been watched and followed by strange men. I was worried about his state of mind, so I immediately wrote to some friends in London to ask if they could help him find a suitable job in another country. Laura, of course, knew nothing about these letters.
Sir Percival did not join us for breakfast, but sent a message, saying he would meet us at eleven o'clock, as arranged. Laura seemed calm and unusually self-controlled. I had never seen her like this. It was almost as if love had created a new force in her character.
At exactly eleven Sir Percival knocked and entered, with anxiety and worry in every line of his face. This meeting would decide his future life, and he obviously knew it.
You may wonder, Sir Percival,' said Laura calmly, 'if I am going to ask to be released from my promise to marry you. I am not going to ask this. I respect my father's wishes too much.'
His face relaxed a little, but I saw one of his feet nervously beating the carpet.
No, if we are going to withdraw from our planned marriage, it will be because of your wish, Sir Percival, not mine.'
Mine?' he said in great surprise. 'What reason could I have for withdrawing?'
A reason that is very hard to tell you,' she answered. 'There is a change in me.'
His face went so pale that even his lips lost their colour. He turned his head to one side.
What change?' he asked, trying to hide his nervousness.
When the promise was made two years ago,' she said, 'my love did not belong to anyone. Will you forgive me, Sir Percival, if I tell you that it now belongs to another person?'
Her tears started to fall, and Sir Percival hid his face behind his hand, so that it was impossible to know what he was thinking. He made no answer, and my temper got the better of me.
Sir Percival!' I said sharply. 'Have you nothing to say? You have already heard more than you have a right to hear.'
But I didn't ask for that right,' he said, avoiding my question.
I wish you to understand,' Laura continued, 'that I will never see this person again, and that if you leave me, you only allow me to remain a single woman for the rest of my life. All I ask is that you forgive me and keep my secret.'
I will do both those things,' he said. Then he looked at Laura, as if he was waiting to hear more.
I think I have said enough to give you reason to withdraw from our marriage,' she added quietly.
No. You have said enough to make it the dearest wish of my life to marry you,' he said, getting up and advancing towards her.
Laura gave a cry of surprise, but I had more than half expected this. Every word she had spoken had shown her honesty and her innocence, but these fine qualities had destroyed her own hopes of a release. Sir Percival understood very well the priceless value of a pure and true woman. Why would he give her up now?
I will do everything I can to earn your love,' he said, 'and perhaps in time I will win it.'
Never!' she answered, looking more beautiful than ever. 'I will be your true and loyal wife, but never your loving wife.'
That is enough for me. I accept your loyalty and your truth,' he said, then raised her hand to his lips and silently left the room.
Laura sat without moving. I put my arm around her. At last she said,' I must resign myself, Marian. If you write to Walter, don't tell him how unhappy I am. And if I die first, please say to him, say what I could never say myself — say I loved him!'
Then she threw herself on the sofa and cried as if her heart was breaking, until at last she fell asleep.
* * *
In the days that followed it seemed that nothing could prevent this miserable marriage from taking place. I tried to make Laura change her mind, but she was determined to keep her promise, and to do her duty. Mr Fairlie was, of course, very happy that the 'family worry' was now at an end and suggested that the sooner his niece got married the better. This made me very angry, but when I told Laura, I was surprised by her calm reply.
My uncle is right. I have caused trouble and anxiety to everyone. Let Sir Percival decide on the day for our marriage.'
Sir Percival was delighted by this news, and he then left to prepare for the bride's reception at his house in Hampshire.
I thought that a change would do Laura good, so I arranged for us both to go and stay with some friends in Yorkshire. She passively agreed with my idea. I also wrote to Mr Gilmore, telling him this marriage would now take place.
The next day I received a letter from Walter Hartright, saying that my friends had got him a job on an expedition to Central America. He was going to be the artist for the expedition. He was leaving on 21st November and would be away for six months. I could only hope that this was for the best.
Laura and I then departed for Yorkshire but after only nine days there we received a letter from Mr Fairlie, calling us back to Limmeridge immediately. What could this mean, I wondered?
I found out as soon as we arrived. Mr Fairlie and Sir Percival had agreed on 22nd December for the wedding, provided that Laura also agreed. Would I please persuade her, said Mr Fairlie. His nerves were much too bad to talk to her himself.
I also found our old friend Mr Gilmore, who had come to talk to Mr Fairlie about the marriage agreement. He was leaving that day, and was anxious to speak to me alone before he left.
I am not at all happy about the financial arrangements in the agreement, Miss Halcombe,' he said, 'but there is nothing I can do about it. I know how fond you are of your sister and I think you ought to know why I am concerned.
As you will know,' he went on, 'there are three parts to Miss Fairlie's inheritance. Firstly, on Mr Fairlie's death, she will inherit the Limmeridge property and land, and the income from it. If she dies childless, this property will go to a cousin, but the income from it will go to her husband during his lifetime. If she has a son, everything — property and income — will go to the son. No problems there.
Secondly, when Miss Fairlie reaches the age of twenty-one next March, she will receive the income from £10,000. This £10,000 will go to her aunt Eleanor, if Miss Fairlie dies before her aunt — which is not very likely. The reason Miss Fairlie's father did not leave the £10,000 to his sister Eleanor on his death was that he disapproved strongly of her marriage to a foreigner, even though the man was an Italian nobleman, Count Fosco.'
Yes, Laura has told me about that,' I said.
Well,' Mr Gilmore went on, 'there are no problems there either. But the third part of Miss Fairlie's inheritance is more difficult. Next March she will also inherit £20,000, which will be her own money completely. If she dies before her husband, the income from the £20,000 will go to Sir Percival for his lifetime, and the capital will go to their children. If there are no children to inherit the capital, Miss Fairlie can choose relations and friends to inherit the money when she dies. That's what I proposed, but Sir Percival's lawyer did not accept it. He insists that if Sir Percival survives his wife and there are no children, Sir Percival should receive the capital. In that case, nothing will go to any other member of the family, including you, Miss Halcombe.'
Mr Gilmore sighed deeply. 'I protested strongly. I tried every argument I could, but nothing would change the lawyer's mind. I've discovered, you see, that Sir Percival is always in debt and always in need of cash. My last effort has been to come here, to try and persuade Mr Fairlie to oppose this demand from Sir Percival's lawyer. I am sorry to say I have not succeeded. Mr Fairlie wishes to avoid all responsibility for his niece's marriage arrangements. He says that his niece will not die before Sir Percival anyway, so what is there to worry about?'
Mr Gilmore stood up to go and picked up his hat. 'I shall complete the agreement and send it in. I have no choice. If I don't do it, Mr Fairlie will find another lawyer who will. But I tell you, Miss Halcombe, no daughter of mine should be married to any man alive under such an agreement as I am forced to make for Miss Fairlie.'
With that, he shook my hand, and without another word he went away to catch his train back to London.
After he had gone, I tried to be sensible. Mr Fairlie was Laura's guardian and if he chose to accept this agreement, there was nothing I could do about it. It was just one more worry about this dreadful marriage. A more immediate worry was the date of the wedding. When I told Laura, she turned pale and trembled.
Not so soon!' she cried. 'Oh, Marian, not so soon!'
Well, let me speak to Mr Fairlie, then,' I said, ready to fight for her. 'I will try to change it.'
No,' she said faintly. 'Too late, Marian, too late! It will only make more trouble. Please tell my uncle I agree.'
I think I would have cried if I had not been so angry. I rushed into Mr Fairlie's room and shouted loudly, 'Laura agrees to the twenty-second' — and rushed out again, banging the door noisily. I hoped I had destroyed his nerves for the whole day.
* * *
After this the wedding preparations began. The dressmakers came and went all the time; there was packing, and planning, and all kinds of arrangements to make. We heard every day from Sir Percival. After the wedding he proposed to take Laura to Italy for six months. They would meet a number of Sir Percival's friends there, including his best and oldest friend, Count Fosco, whose wife, of course, was Laura's Aunt Eleanor. At least this marriage would bring Laura and her aunt together again, I thought. The Count himself sounded a most interesting person, and I rather hoped that I would meet him one day.
All too quickly the days passed. Sir Percival arrived, looking a little tired and anxious but talking and laughing like the happiest of men. The evening after he arrived he went off to the village to ask if anyone had any news of Anne Catherick. No one had heard anything, but I had to admit that it was good of him to continue to try to help her. I have decided to try and think better of him. After all, what reason do I have to distrust him? I am sure that I could like him if I really tried.
It is getting quite easy to like him. Today I spoke to him about the dearest wish of both Laura and myself — that I should be able to live with Laura after her marriage, just as I had always lived with her before. He agreed instantly and seemed delighted with the plan. I would be the ideal, the perfect companion for his wife, he said. Yes, I am beginning to like Sir Percival very much.
* * *
I hate Sir Percival! He has no sensitivity, no kindness, no good feeling. Last night he whispered something in Laura's ear — she has refused to tell me what it was — and her face turned white with misery. He took no notice at all, and all my suspicions of him have returned. Is he now showing his true character? He seems more restless and nervous than before, and is often sharp and bad-tempered. I have this strange idea that something might happen to prevent the marriage — and that he is afraid of that. A foolish thought. I must forget it.
As the day of our separation grows nearer, Laura cannot bear to have me out of her sight. I must be brave and cheerful, for her sake, but my fear will not go away. Will this marriage be the one terrible mistake of her life, and the one hopeless sorrow of mine?
* * *
It is the twenty-second. No more time for tears. Laura is dressed, and we leave for the church. By eleven o'clock they are married. By three o'clock they are gone. I am blind with crying and can write no more...
cure v. restore to health 治愈
respectful adj. showing deference 有禮貌的
desert v. abandon 拋棄
private adj. independent; not connected with government, public service, etc. 私立的
hesitate v. show or feel uncertainty or indecision 猶豫
embarrassing adj. causing to feel awkward or self-conscious or ashamed 令人難堪的;使人尷尬的
thoughtfully adv. engaged in or given to meditation 沉思地;若有所思地
business-like adj. serious, formal 正式的
emotion n. a strong mental or instinctive feeling 情感
inherit v. receive by legal descent or succession 繼承
presence n. the state or condition of being present 在場
release v. set free; liberate 解除
withdraw v. discontinue, cancel 撤出;退出
advance v. move forward 向前走
destroy v. spoil utterly 破壞
in time eventually 最終
loyal adj. true, faithful 忠貞的
resign v. give up 退讓
passively adv. offering no objection 被動地;不反對
expedition n. a journey for a particular purpose 為特別目的的旅行
provided conj. on the condition that 只要
likely adj. probable 可能的
disapprove v. have or express an unfavourable opinion 反對
capital n. money used to produce more wealth 資金
protest v. make a protest against an action or proposal 抗議;反對
dreadful adj. terrible, inspiring fear or awe 可怕的
bang v. shut noisily 用力關上
distrust v. have no trust or confidence in, doubt 不相信;懷疑
instantly adv. occurring immediately 立即;即刻
ideal adj. perfect, excellent 最好的
沃爾特·哈特里特先生離開的那天,我們都很難過。勞拉一整天呆在自己的房間里不出來,我的心情也很沉悶??蓱z的吉爾摩先生肯定覺得那天很無聊。第二天早晨,勞拉從房間出來的時候,面容憔悴,像是病了一場。我覺得吉爾摩先生似乎很為她擔心,我也為她擔心。勞拉是個敏感而深情的人,她喜歡上沃爾特我一點兒也不覺得奇怪。其實,我自己也喜歡他。但是,我真心希望時間能夠治愈勞拉的情傷。
沃爾特離開兩天以后,珀西瓦爾·格萊德爵士來了。他45歲,但看上去比實際年齡要年輕一些。他很英俊,稍有些禿頂,舉止優(yōu)雅,溫和有禮。我盡力讓自己對這個人產生好感。
下午,勞拉不在房里的時候,珀西瓦爾爵士提到了安妮·凱瑟里克的那封信。
“我看了吉爾摩先生給我律師的信,”他說,“我想跟你們好好地解釋一下。凱瑟里克太太為我和我的家庭工作了許多年,她的婚姻很不幸,她丈夫拋棄了她,她的獨生女精神有毛病,需要送進精神病院。所以,為了感謝凱瑟里克太太多年來的服務,我答應承擔送她女兒去一家私立精神病院的所有費用。但不幸的是,女孩知道以后,就開始對我懷恨在心。她不久前從精神病院逃走了,我敢肯定是她出于對我的仇恨寫了這封信。這太讓人傷心了?!?/p>
吉爾摩先生認為這個解釋非常令人滿意,他說完看了看我,希望我也同意他的說法??墒牵矣幸环N說不清的不安的感覺,猶豫了一會兒,沒有說話。珀西瓦爾爵士立刻注意到了我的反應。
“哈爾庫姆小姐,能否請你給凱瑟里克太太寫封信,問問她這些是不是真的呢?”他非常客氣地說。
我不想答應他的要求,但是又怎么好拒絕呢?拒絕只能把事情弄得越來越尷尬。于是,我走到桌旁,寫了封短信,然后交給了珀西瓦爾。他看也沒看就把信裝進信封,寫上了地址。
“好了,這件事就這樣了,”他說,“請問安妮·凱瑟里克跟費爾利小姐或者你談過嗎?”
“沒有。她只跟哈特里特先生談過?!蔽腋嬖V他。
“噢,是了,那位繪畫教師,”他若有所思地說,“你們找到安妮·凱瑟里克的住處了嗎?”
我跟他講了農場的情況。
“找到她是我的責任,”他接著說,“明天我就去農場問問?!辈灰粫?,他就上樓回他的房間去了。
* * *
那天晚上以及第二天,珀西瓦爾爵士努力尋找一切機會同勞拉講話,但勞拉一直心不在焉。珀西瓦爾去農場調查,結果一無所獲。星期三凱瑟里克太太來信了,那是一封簡短而又正式的信。信中感謝我給她寫信,并且說珀西瓦爾爵士告訴我的都是事實。
為什么我還是有疑問呢?這封信對誰來講都是充分的證據,可我還是很希望沃爾特·哈特里特先生能在這兒發(fā)表一下他的看法。應珀西瓦爾爵士的要求,我得向勞拉解釋一下安妮·凱瑟里克來信的事情。她靜靜地聽著,臉上毫無表情。我注意到她手邊的桌上放著哈特里特先生的畫冊。我還得告訴她,珀西瓦爾爵士此行的目的是要確定他們結婚的日期。
“恐怕他會讓你馬上做決定,勞拉?!?/p>
“噢,不行,瑪麗安!我不能!”她說,“請幫我問問他,懇求他再給我些時間。我保證年底以前給他最終的答復,但是現(xiàn)在不行,現(xiàn)在不行?!?/p>
珀西瓦爾爵士答應了這個要求。吉爾摩先生得知事情的經過后,準備同勞拉單獨談談。
“我明天必須回倫敦去,”吉爾摩先生對我說,“走之前,我需要和費爾利小姐談一下這樁婚事的財務問題。你知道,明年3月她21歲的時候,她會繼承一大筆財產,我必須把這些都寫進結婚協(xié)議中去,讓協(xié)議既能反映費爾利小姐的愿望,也能令珀西瓦爾爵士接受?!?/p>
轉天上午,吉爾摩先生和勞拉談了話。下午,他動身去倫敦時,看上去憂心忡忡。不知道他們都說了些什么,我連忙趕去勞拉的房間。
“噢,瑪麗安,快進來,我有話跟你說?!眲诶f。
“出了什么事,勞拉?是結婚協(xié)議的事嗎?”
“不是。我簡直沒辦法跟吉爾摩先生談這件事。我真不好意思說出口,剛才我只是一個勁兒地哭,什么也沒說。吉爾摩先生非常善良,瑪麗安,他告訴我,他會幫我打理一切。我現(xiàn)在要告訴你的是,我再也受不了這種局面了,我必須結束這種狀況?!?/p>
她的眼睛很亮,語氣也很堅決。我感到有些害怕,“你想要做什么,親愛的勞拉?你要解除同珀西瓦爾爵士的婚約嗎?”
“不是的,”她回答,“我不能打破對父親的承諾。但是,我要說出真話,我要告訴珀西瓦爾爵士我愛上了別人?!?/p>
“勞拉!他無權知道這件事!”我驚訝地說。
“我不能欺騙他,”她說,“我已經想好了。我把真相告訴他,讓他決定該怎么辦?!?/p>
我看著她純潔、深情的眼神,一句話也說不出來。我伸手抱住她,盡量控制自己不哭出來。
“明天我就跟他說,你跟我去,好嗎,瑪麗安?”
我緊緊地抱著她,答應了她的請求——我也不清楚自己做的是對是錯。我對什么都沒了把握。我不明白為什么我沒發(fā)覺她愛沃爾特·哈特里特愛得那么深。我第一次對她做出了錯誤的判斷。現(xiàn)在我知道,她會一輩子愛著他。
* * *
第二天早晨發(fā)生的事讓我一點兒也高興不起來,可憐的沃爾特·哈特里特來信說他決定離開英國,問我能否幫他在國外找份工作。信后面的內容使我非常擔心。他回倫敦以后,既沒有見到安妮·凱瑟里克,也沒有打聽到她的任何消息,反而覺得有陌生人在盯他的梢。我擔心他情緒不穩(wěn),趕忙給幾個在倫敦的朋友寫信,看他們能不能幫他在國外找到一份合適的工作。當然,勞拉對信的事一無所知。
珀西瓦爾爵士沒有來同我們一起吃早餐,他捎話給我們說他會按約定11點來見我們。勞拉超乎尋常的冷靜、鎮(zhèn)定。我從未見她這樣過,好像愛情使她更堅強了。
11點整,珀西瓦爾爵士敲門進來。他滿臉緊張和不安。這次談話將會決定他今后的生活,他顯然非常清楚這一點。
“你可能會認為我是來請求與你解除婚約的,珀西瓦爾爵士,”勞拉冷靜地說,“我不是來做這樣的請求的,我非常尊重父親的意愿?!?/p>
珀西瓦爾爵士的表情放松了一些,但我看到他的一只腳在緊張地敲打著地毯。
“我不會那樣做的,如果我們兩人要解除婚約的話,那一定是出于你的意愿,珀西瓦爾爵士,而不會是我的?!?/p>
“我的意愿?”他吃驚地說,“我能有什么理由解除婚約呢?”
“一個很難向你啟齒的理由,我這里有了些變故?!眲诶卮?。
珀西瓦爾的臉色變得煞白,雙唇一點兒血色都沒有。他把臉轉向一側。
“什么變故?”他盡量掩飾著自己的緊張。
“兩年前約定婚事的時候,我的愛不屬于任何人,”勞拉接著說,“如果我告訴你,珀西瓦爾爵士,我的愛現(xiàn)在屬于另一個人,你會原諒我嗎?”
她的眼淚流了下來。珀西瓦爾爵士用手捂住了臉,讓人看不出他是怎么想的。他一句話也不說,我的直脾氣可受不了了。
“珀西瓦爾爵士!”我大聲問道,“你不想說點兒什么嗎?你已經聽到了本來你無權聽到的事情。”
“可我并沒有要求這權利?!彼乇芰宋业膯栴}。
“我想告訴你,”勞拉繼續(xù)說,“我再也見不到那個人了。如果你和我分手,我會終身不嫁。我只請求你原諒我,并為我保守秘密?!?/p>
“兩件事我都答應。”珀西瓦爾說完,看了看勞拉,似乎等著她再說些什么。
“我想我已經講了足夠的理由讓你解除婚約?!眲诶届o地說。
“不,你說了這么多,我唯一的感覺是我一生最大的愿望就是同你結婚?!闭f著,他起身朝勞拉走過來。
勞拉驚訝得“咦”了一聲,我倒是猜到了幾分他會這么說。勞拉講的每一句話都透出她的真誠和純潔,但是這樣良好的品德卻毀掉了她解脫的希望。珀西瓦爾爵士很清楚,一個純潔、真誠的女人是無價之寶。他為什么要放棄呢?
“我會盡一切所能去贏得你的愛,也許最終我會成功的?!辩晡魍郀栒f。
“永遠也不會的!”勞拉看上去更美了,“我會是你忠實的妻子,但永遠不會愛你?!?/p>
“這就足夠了。我愿意接受你的忠貞和真誠。”說罷,他拿起勞拉的手吻了吻,然后默默地走出房間。
勞拉坐在那里一動不動,我伸出手摟住她。最后她開口道:“我必須退讓,瑪麗安。你給沃爾特寫信時,不要告訴他我不開心。假如我比他先死了,你一定對他說,說我不能親口對他說的話——我愛他!”
說完,她撲在沙發(fā)上放聲痛哭,哭得好像心都碎了一樣,最后她趴在那兒睡著了。
* * *
接下來的日子里,好像什么也阻止不了這樁不幸的婚姻。我力圖讓勞拉改變主意,但她卻堅持要恪守諾言,履行義務。費爾利先生自然非常高興,因為這場“家庭煩惱”終于畫上了句號。他建議他的侄女越早結婚越好。這令我很氣憤,但我把這話告訴勞拉后,她的平靜反應倒讓我吃了一驚。
“叔叔說的對,我給大家?guī)砹颂嗦闊?。讓珀西瓦爾爵士決定我們的結婚日期吧?!?/p>
珀西瓦爾爵士對此非常高興,他離開莊園回漢普郡,準備迎接新娘。
我想換一個環(huán)境肯定對勞拉有好處,于是安排我們兩人到約克郡的朋友那里呆一段時間。她同意了。我還給吉爾摩先生寫了信,告訴他這樁婚事可以繼續(xù)了。
第二天,我收到了沃爾特·哈特里特的來信,信中說我的朋友為他找到一份工作,要到中美洲長途旅行,他做隨行的畫家,11月21號動身,行程6個月。我衷心希望這是最好的安排。
勞拉和我動身前往約克郡。但是,剛剛在那里住了9天,我們就收到費爾利先生的信,讓我們立即返回利默里奇。這意味著什么呢,我想不出。
一回來我就明白了。費爾利先生和珀西瓦爾爵士已經把婚禮的時間定在12月22日,就等勞拉點頭同意了。費爾利先生問我可不可以說服勞拉同意這個日期,他本人神經不好,無法跟她談。
我見到了我們的老朋友吉爾摩先生,他是來同費爾利先生談有關結婚協(xié)議的事的。他當天就要離開莊園,著急想與我單獨談談。
“哈爾庫姆小姐,我對結婚協(xié)議中的財務安排非常不滿意,”他對我說,“但是我一點兒辦法也沒有。我知道你多么愛你的妹妹,所以我認為你應該知道我為什么擔心。
“你知道,”他接著說,“費爾利小姐繼承的財產包括三部分。第一,費爾利先生死后,她會繼承利默里奇的財產和土地以及由此產生的收入。如果她死后沒有孩子,這份財產將轉到她的一個親戚名下,但財產的收入在她丈夫在世的時候將歸他所有。如果她有個兒子,所有的財產和收入都歸她的兒子。這一點沒有任何問題。
“第二,明年3月費爾利小姐21歲的時候,她將得到10,000英鎊的收入。如果費爾利小姐在她姑媽埃莉諾之前死去,這筆錢就歸她姑媽,這當然不大可能。費爾利小姐的父親之所以死的時候沒有把這10,000英鎊留給他的妹妹埃莉諾,是因為他強烈反對她嫁給一個外國人,雖然那個人是位意大利貴族,福斯科伯爵?!?/p>
“是的,勞拉跟我說過這件事?!蔽艺f。
“好吧,”吉爾摩先生接著說,“這一部分也沒有問題??墒堑谌糠志筒荒敲春唵瘟恕C髂?月,她還將繼承20,000英鎊,這完全是屬于她個人的一筆錢。如果她先于她丈夫死去,從這20,000英鎊獲得的收入將屬于珀西瓦爾爵士,直至他去世;而這20,000英鎊本金將歸他們的孩子所有。假如沒有孩子繼承這筆錢,費爾利小姐死的時候,可以選擇親屬或朋友繼承。這是我的建議。但是,珀西瓦爾爵士的律師拒不接受這一點,他堅持認為,如果珀西瓦爾爵士死在他妻子后面,同時他們又沒有孩子,珀西瓦爾就應該得到這筆錢。那樣的話,費爾利家族的任何其他人,包括你在內,都得不到一分錢,哈爾庫姆小姐。”
吉爾摩先生長嘆了一口氣,“我堅決反對這樣。我極力爭取,但還是無法讓那位律師改變主意。我發(fā)現(xiàn)珀西瓦爾爵士長期欠債,急需現(xiàn)金。我最后的努力就是來這里試圖說服費爾利先生反對珀西瓦爾爵士律師的要求,非常遺憾,我沒有成功。對他侄女的這樁婚事費爾利先生什么也不想管。他說他侄女不會死在珀西瓦爾爵士前面的,又有什么可擔心的呢?”
吉爾摩先生站起身,拿起帽子準備離開,“我會把協(xié)議擬好,并把它寄給你們。我沒別的辦法,我不這樣做,費爾利先生也會再找一名律師這樣做的。不過,我跟你說,哈爾庫姆小姐,我是不會讓我女兒根據我被迫為費爾利小姐準備的這樣一份協(xié)議嫁人的?!?/p>
說完,他握了握我的手,一言不發(fā)地離開這里,去趕回倫敦的火車了。
吉爾摩先生走后,我盡量保持理智。費爾利先生是勞拉的監(jiān)護人,如果他愿意接受這份協(xié)議,我做什么都無濟于事。這是這樁可怕婚姻的又一個令人擔憂的地方。現(xiàn)在更緊迫的事情是結婚日期。我把結婚的日期告訴勞拉以后,她的臉色立刻變白了,身體也開始發(fā)抖。
“不要這么快!”她喊道,“噢,瑪麗安,不要這么快!”
“好吧,那我去和費爾利先生說,”我這樣說著,已經做好了為她去抗爭的準備,“我會盡力去改變這個日期?!?/p>
“算了吧,”她有氣無力地說,“一切都太晚了,瑪麗安,太晚了!抗爭只能帶來更多的麻煩。去告訴我叔叔,我同意了?!?/p>
我要不是氣憤至極,肯定就會哭出聲來。我沖進費爾利先生的房間,大聲喊道:“勞拉同意22日結婚!”——然后沖出去,很響地甩上門。但愿我能讓他的神經一整天都不得安寧。
* * *
這以后,婚禮的準備工作開始了。整天都有裁縫進進出出;要收拾行李,做計劃,進行各種安排。我們每天都能收到珀西瓦爾爵士的來信,他提議婚禮之后帶勞拉到意大利住六個月,見一些珀西瓦爾的朋友,包括他最好的老朋友福斯科伯爵。福斯科伯爵的妻子當然就是勞拉的姑媽埃莉諾。這樁婚姻起碼可以讓勞拉和她的姑媽重逢,我這樣想著。聽起來伯爵本人倒是一個非常有趣的人,我也想有朝一日能見見他。
日子很快地過去了。珀西瓦爾爵士終于來了。他看上去有些疲倦和不安,但是有說有笑的仿佛世界上最幸福的男人就是他。他來的當天晚上去了村子里,打聽是否有人知道安妮·凱瑟里克的消息。雖然沒人給他提供什么消息,但我必須承認他繼續(xù)尋求幫助她,這是善舉。我決定努力改變對他不好的看法,說到底,我有什么理由不信任他呢?我相信如果真的努力嘗試,我可能會喜歡他的。
喜歡他是很容易的。今天我同他說起勞拉與我的最大愿望——在勞拉結婚之后,我和她還能像以前一樣住在一起。他立刻就答應了,而且很高興能有這樣的安排。他說我將是他妻子最理想、最合適的陪伴。是啊,我開始非常喜歡珀西瓦爾爵士了。
* * *
我恨珀西瓦爾爵士!他不善解人意,缺乏同情心,沒有好心腸。昨天晚上,他跟勞拉耳語了些什么——勞拉不愿告訴我具體內容——她的臉色變得非常難看。而他卻一點兒沒在意。我以前對他所有的懷疑又出現(xiàn)了?,F(xiàn)在,他是不是露出了他的本來面目?他變得比以往更加焦躁不安,經常言語尖刻,發(fā)脾氣。我有個奇怪的想法,是不是會有什么事阻止這樁婚姻,而他又非常害怕那樣的結局。這是胡思亂想,我不能當真。
我們分別的日子一天天臨近了,勞拉一刻也不肯離開我。為了她,我必須勇敢些,高興起來。但是,我的擔心沒有消失。這樁婚姻會成為勞拉一生的大錯嗎?會成為我傷心、痛苦的根源嗎?
* * *
22日到了。時間到了,不能再哭了。勞拉梳妝打扮完畢,我們要去教堂了。11點鐘,婚禮就會結束。下午3點,他們就離開這里了。我已經哭得視線模糊,無法繼續(xù)寫下去了……