It was a sad day when Walter Hartright left us. Laura stayed in her room all day, and I felt sad and depressed. Poor Mr Gilmore must have had a dull time, and the next morning, when Laura reappeared looking pale and ill, I thought he seemed rather anxious about her. I was anxious too. Laura is such a sensitive and loving person that it was no surprise to me to find that she had grown fond of Walter. Indeed, I have grown fond of him myself. But I honestly believe that time will cure Laura of these feelings.
Two days after Walter left, Sir Percival Glyde arrived. He is forty-five years old but seems younger. He is handsome, and only a little bald, has perfect manners, and is pleasant, agreeable, and respectful. I really must try to like him.
In the afternoon, while Laura was out of the room, Sir Percival referred to Anne Catherick's letter.
I read Mr Gilmore's letter to my lawyer,' he said, 'and I want to give you a full explanation. Mrs Catherick, you see, worked for me and my family for many years. Her marriage was unfortunate, in that her husband deserted her, and her only child, a girl, became mentally ill and needed to be put in an asylum. So, in recognition of Mrs Catherick's services, I agreed to pay the expenses of a private asylum for the girl. Unfortunately, the girl discovered this and consequently developed a hatred for me. She recently escaped from the asylum and I'm sure she wrote this letter because of her hatred for me. It's all very sad.'
Mr Gilmore found this explanation perfectly satisfactory, and said so. He then looked at me for agreement, but I was struggling with a sense of unease that I could not explain, and hesitated before answering. Sir Percival noticed this at once.
May I beg you, Miss Halcombe,' he said politely, 'to write to Mrs Catherick to ask if these facts are true?'
I did not want to agree to this, but how could I refuse, without making the situation even more embarrassing than it already was? So I went to the desk, wrote a note, and gave it to him. Without looking at it, he put it in an envelope and wrote the address.
Now that is done,' he said, 'may I ask if Anne Catherick spoke to Miss Fairlie, or to you?'
No. She spoke to nobody except Mr Hartright,' I replied.
Ah, yes, the drawing teacher,' he said thoughtfully. 'And did you discover where Anne Catherick was staying?'
I described the farm to him.
It is my duty to try to find her,' he continued. 'Tomorrow I will go to this farm and make enquiries.' Soon afterwards he left to go up to his room.
* * *
That evening and the next day Sir Percival took every opportunity to bring Laura into the conversation, but she hardly took any notice. He went to the farm to make his enquiries about Anne Catherick, but learnt nothing. Then on Wednesday a letter came from Mrs Catherick — a short, business-like letter, thanking me for my note and saying that everything Sir Percival had told me was completely correct.
Why did I still have doubts? This, surely, was enough proof for anyone, but how I wished that Walter Hartright had been there to give his opinion! At Sir Percival's request I now had to give Laura his explanation of Anne Catherick's letter. She listened quietly and showed no emotion, but I noticed that on the table near her hand was the little book of Hartright's drawings. I also had to tell her that the reason for Sir Percival's visit was to fix the day of their marriage.
I'm afraid he will ask you to decide quite soon, Laura.'
Oh no, Marian! I can't do that!' she said. 'Please ask him, beg him, to allow me more time. I promise to give him a final answer before the end of the year, but not yet, please, not yet.'
Sir Percival agreed to this request, and when Mr Gilmore heard about it, he arranged to have a private talk with Laura.
I have to return to London tomorrow,' he said to me, 'and I need to discuss the financial side of this marriage with Miss Fairlie before I go. As you know, she will inherit a great deal of money and property when she becomes twenty-one next March, and I must include all this in the marriage agreement in a way that reflects Miss Fairlie's own wishes, and is also acceptable to Sir Percival.'
He had the meeting with Laura the next morning, and in the afternoon he left for London, looking rather sad and thoughtful. Wondering what had been said, I hurried up to Laura's room.
Oh, Marian, come in,' she said. 'I need to talk to you.'
What is it, Laura? Is it about the marriage agreement?'
No. I couldn't even bear to discuss that with Mr Gilmore. I'm ashamed to say that all I could do was cry. He was very kind and good, Marian, and he said that he would look after everything for me. No, what I wanted to tell you was this. I cannot bear the situation any longer. I must end it.'
Her eyes were bright and she spoke with great energy. I began to feel alarmed. 'What do you wish to do, Laura darling? Do you want to be released from your promise to marry Sir Percival?'
No,' she said simply. 'I cannot break my promise to my father. But I want to tell the truth, and I will confess to Sir Percival that I love someone else.'
Laura! He has no right to know that!' I said in amazement.
I cannot deceive him,' she said. 'I have thought it over carefully. After I have told him, let him do as he wishes.'
I looked into her innocent, loving eyes and could say nothing. I just put my arms around her, trying not to cry myself.
May I speak to him tomorrow, in your presence, Marian?'
I held her tight and agreed — though I was not sure I was doing the right thing. Indeed, I was not sure of anything. I could not understand how I had failed to see how deeply she loved Walter Hartright. For the first time in my life I had made a mistake about her. Now I realized that she would love him all her life.
* * *
The first thing that happened the next morning did nothing to make me feel more cheerful. A letter arrived for me from poor Walter Hartright. He had decided to leave England and asked me if I could help him find employment abroad. I was then alarmed to read that since his return to London he had neither seen nor heard anything of Anne Catherick, but suspected he had been watched and followed by strange men. I was worried about his state of mind, so I immediately wrote to some friends in London to ask if they could help him find a suitable job in another country. Laura, of course, knew nothing about these letters.
Sir Percival did not join us for breakfast, but sent a message, saying he would meet us at eleven o'clock, as arranged. Laura seemed calm and unusually self-controlled. I had never seen her like this. It was almost as if love had created a new force in her character.
At exactly eleven Sir Percival knocked and entered, with anxiety and worry in every line of his face. This meeting would decide his future life, and he obviously knew it.
You may wonder, Sir Percival,' said Laura calmly, 'if I am going to ask to be released from my promise to marry you. I am not going to ask this. I respect my father's wishes too much.'
His face relaxed a little, but I saw one of his feet nervously beating the carpet.
No, if we are going to withdraw from our planned marriage, it will be because of your wish, Sir Percival, not mine.'
Mine?' he said in great surprise. 'What reason could I have for withdrawing?'
A reason that is very hard to tell you,' she answered. 'There is a change in me.'
His face went so pale that even his lips lost their colour. He turned his head to one side.
What change?' he asked, trying to hide his nervousness.
When the promise was made two years ago,' she said, 'my love did not belong to anyone. Will you forgive me, Sir Percival, if I tell you that it now belongs to another person?'
Her tears started to fall, and Sir Percival hid his face behind his hand, so that it was impossible to know what he was thinking. He made no answer, and my temper got the better of me.
Sir Percival!' I said sharply. 'Have you nothing to say? You have already heard more than you have a right to hear.'
But I didn't ask for that right,' he said, avoiding my question.
I wish you to understand,' Laura continued, 'that I will never see this person again, and that if you leave me, you only allow me to remain a single woman for the rest of my life. All I ask is that you forgive me and keep my secret.'
I will do both those things,' he said. Then he looked at Laura, as if he was waiting to hear more.
I think I have said enough to give you reason to withdraw from our marriage,' she added quietly.
No. You have said enough to make it the dearest wish of my life to marry you,' he said, getting up and advancing towards her.
Laura gave a cry of surprise, but I had more than half expected this. Every word she had spoken had shown her honesty and her innocence, but these fine qualities had destroyed her own hopes of a release. Sir Percival understood very well the priceless value of a pure and true woman. Why would he give her up now?
I will do everything I can to earn your love,' he said, 'and perhaps in time I will win it.'
Never!' she answered, looking more beautiful than ever. 'I will be your true and loyal wife, but never your loving wife.'
That is enough for me. I accept your loyalty and your truth,' he said, then raised her hand to his lips and silently left the room.
Laura sat without moving. I put my arm around her. At last she said,' I must resign myself, Marian. If you write to Walter, don't tell him how unhappy I am. And if I die first, please say to him, say what I could never say myself — say I loved him!'
Then she threw herself on the sofa and cried as if her heart was breaking, until at last she fell asleep.
* * *
In the days that followed it seemed that nothing could prevent this miserable marriage from taking place. I tried to make Laura change her mind, but she was determined to keep her promise, and to do her duty. Mr Fairlie was, of course, very happy that the 'family worry' was now at an end and suggested that the sooner his niece got married the better. This made me very angry, but when I told Laura, I was surprised by her calm reply.
My uncle is right. I have caused trouble and anxiety to everyone. Let Sir Percival decide on the day for our marriage.'
Sir Percival was delighted by this news, and he then left to prepare for the bride's reception at his house in Hampshire.
I thought that a change would do Laura good, so I arranged for us both to go and stay with some friends in Yorkshire. She passively agreed with my idea. I also wrote to Mr Gilmore, telling him this marriage would now take place.
The next day I received a letter from Walter Hartright, saying that my friends had got him a job on an expedition to Central America. He was going to be the artist for the expedition. He was leaving on 21st November and would be away for six months. I could only hope that this was for the best.
Laura and I then departed for Yorkshire but after only nine days there we received a letter from Mr Fairlie, calling us back to Limmeridge immediately. What could this mean, I wondered?
I found out as soon as we arrived. Mr Fairlie and Sir Percival had agreed on 22nd December for the wedding, provided that Laura also agreed. Would I please persuade her, said Mr Fairlie. His nerves were much too bad to talk to her himself.
I also found our old friend Mr Gilmore, who had come to talk to Mr Fairlie about the marriage agreement. He was leaving that day, and was anxious to speak to me alone before he left.
I am not at all happy about the financial arrangements in the agreement, Miss Halcombe,' he said, 'but there is nothing I can do about it. I know how fond you are of your sister and I think you ought to know why I am concerned.
As you will know,' he went on, 'there are three parts to Miss Fairlie's inheritance. Firstly, on Mr Fairlie's death, she will inherit the Limmeridge property and land, and the income from it. If she dies childless, this property will go to a cousin, but the income from it will go to her husband during his lifetime. If she has a son, everything — property and income — will go to the son. No problems there.
Secondly, when Miss Fairlie reaches the age of twenty-one next March, she will receive the income from £10,000. This £10,000 will go to her aunt Eleanor, if Miss Fairlie dies before her aunt — which is not very likely. The reason Miss Fairlie's father did not leave the £10,000 to his sister Eleanor on his death was that he disapproved strongly of her marriage to a foreigner, even though the man was an Italian nobleman, Count Fosco.'
Yes, Laura has told me about that,' I said.
Well,' Mr Gilmore went on, 'there are no problems there either. But the third part of Miss Fairlie's inheritance is more difficult. Next March she will also inherit £20,000, which will be her own money completely. If she dies before her husband, the income from the £20,000 will go to Sir Percival for his lifetime, and the capital will go to their children. If there are no children to inherit the capital, Miss Fairlie can choose relations and friends to inherit the money when she dies. That's what I proposed, but Sir Percival's lawyer did not accept it. He insists that if Sir Percival survives his wife and there are no children, Sir Percival should receive the capital. In that case, nothing will go to any other member of the family, including you, Miss Halcombe.'
Mr Gilmore sighed deeply. 'I protested strongly. I tried every argument I could, but nothing would change the lawyer's mind. I've discovered, you see, that Sir Percival is always in debt and always in need of cash. My last effort has been to come here, to try and persuade Mr Fairlie to oppose this demand from Sir Percival's lawyer. I am sorry to say I have not succeeded. Mr Fairlie wishes to avoid all responsibility for his niece's marriage arrangements. He says that his niece will not die before Sir Percival anyway, so what is there to worry about?'
Mr Gilmore stood up to go and picked up his hat. 'I shall complete the agreement and send it in. I have no choice. If I don't do it, Mr Fairlie will find another lawyer who will. But I tell you, Miss Halcombe, no daughter of mine should be married to any man alive under such an agreement as I am forced to make for Miss Fairlie.'
With that, he shook my hand, and without another word he went away to catch his train back to London.
After he had gone, I tried to be sensible. Mr Fairlie was Laura's guardian and if he chose to accept this agreement, there was nothing I could do about it. It was just one more worry about this dreadful marriage. A more immediate worry was the date of the wedding. When I told Laura, she turned pale and trembled.
Not so soon!' she cried. 'Oh, Marian, not so soon!'
Well, let me speak to Mr Fairlie, then,' I said, ready to fight for her. 'I will try to change it.'
No,' she said faintly. 'Too late, Marian, too late! It will only make more trouble. Please tell my uncle I agree.'
I think I would have cried if I had not been so angry. I rushed into Mr Fairlie's room and shouted loudly, 'Laura agrees to the twenty-second' — and rushed out again, banging the door noisily. I hoped I had destroyed his nerves for the whole day.
* * *
After this the wedding preparations began. The dressmakers came and went all the time; there was packing, and planning, and all kinds of arrangements to make. We heard every day from Sir Percival. After the wedding he proposed to take Laura to Italy for six months. They would meet a number of Sir Percival's friends there, including his best and oldest friend, Count Fosco, whose wife, of course, was Laura's Aunt Eleanor. At least this marriage would bring Laura and her aunt together again, I thought. The Count himself sounded a most interesting person, and I rather hoped that I would meet him one day.
All too quickly the days passed. Sir Percival arrived, looking a little tired and anxious but talking and laughing like the happiest of men. The evening after he arrived he went off to the village to ask if anyone had any news of Anne Catherick. No one had heard anything, but I had to admit that it was good of him to continue to try to help her. I have decided to try and think better of him. After all, what reason do I have to distrust him? I am sure that I could like him if I really tried.
It is getting quite easy to like him. Today I spoke to him about the dearest wish of both Laura and myself — that I should be able to live with Laura after her marriage, just as I had always lived with her before. He agreed instantly and seemed delighted with the plan. I would be the ideal, the perfect companion for his wife, he said. Yes, I am beginning to like Sir Percival very much.
* * *
I hate Sir Percival! He has no sensitivity, no kindness, no good feeling. Last night he whispered something in Laura's ear — she has refused to tell me what it was — and her face turned white with misery. He took no notice at all, and all my suspicions of him have returned. Is he now showing his true character? He seems more restless and nervous than before, and is often sharp and bad-tempered. I have this strange idea that something might happen to prevent the marriage — and that he is afraid of that. A foolish thought. I must forget it.
As the day of our separation grows nearer, Laura cannot bear to have me out of her sight. I must be brave and cheerful, for her sake, but my fear will not go away. Will this marriage be the one terrible mistake of her life, and the one hopeless sorrow of mine?
* * *
It is the twenty-second. No more time for tears. Laura is dressed, and we leave for the church. By eleven o'clock they are married. By three o'clock they are gone. I am blind with crying and can write no more...
cure v. restore to health 治愈
respectful adj. showing deference 有禮貌的
desert v. abandon 拋棄
private adj. independent; not connected with government, public service, etc. 私立的
hesitate v. show or feel uncertainty or indecision 猶豫
embarrassing adj. causing to feel awkward or self-conscious or ashamed 令人難堪的;使人尷尬的
thoughtfully adv. engaged in or given to meditation 沉思地;若有所思地
business-like adj. serious, formal 正式的
emotion n. a strong mental or instinctive feeling 情感
inherit v. receive by legal descent or succession 繼承
presence n. the state or condition of being present 在場(chǎng)
release v. set free; liberate 解除
withdraw v. discontinue, cancel 撤出;退出
advance v. move forward 向前走
destroy v. spoil utterly 破壞
in time eventually 最終
loyal adj. true, faithful 忠貞的
resign v. give up 退讓
passively adv. offering no objection 被動(dòng)地;不反對(duì)
expedition n. a journey for a particular purpose 為特別目的的旅行
provided conj. on the condition that 只要
likely adj. probable 可能的
disapprove v. have or express an unfavourable opinion 反對(duì)
capital n. money used to produce more wealth 資金
protest v. make a protest against an action or proposal 抗議;反對(duì)
dreadful adj. terrible, inspiring fear or awe 可怕的
bang v. shut noisily 用力關(guān)上
distrust v. have no trust or confidence in, doubt 不相信;懷疑
instantly adv. occurring immediately 立即;即刻
ideal adj. perfect, excellent 最好的
沃爾特·哈特里特先生離開(kāi)的那天,我們都很難過(guò)。勞拉一整天呆在自己的房間里不出來(lái),我的心情也很沉悶??蓱z的吉爾摩先生肯定覺(jué)得那天很無(wú)聊。第二天早晨,勞拉從房間出來(lái)的時(shí)候,面容憔悴,像是病了一場(chǎng)。我覺(jué)得吉爾摩先生似乎很為她擔(dān)心,我也為她擔(dān)心。勞拉是個(gè)敏感而深情的人,她喜歡上沃爾特我一點(diǎn)兒也不覺(jué)得奇怪。其實(shí),我自己也喜歡他。但是,我真心希望時(shí)間能夠治愈勞拉的情傷。
沃爾特離開(kāi)兩天以后,珀西瓦爾·格萊德爵士來(lái)了。他45歲,但看上去比實(shí)際年齡要年輕一些。他很英俊,稍有些禿頂,舉止優(yōu)雅,溫和有禮。我盡力讓自己對(duì)這個(gè)人產(chǎn)生好感。
下午,勞拉不在房里的時(shí)候,珀西瓦爾爵士提到了安妮·凱瑟里克的那封信。
“我看了吉爾摩先生給我律師的信,”他說(shuō),“我想跟你們好好地解釋一下。凱瑟里克太太為我和我的家庭工作了許多年,她的婚姻很不幸,她丈夫拋棄了她,她的獨(dú)生女精神有毛病,需要送進(jìn)精神病院。所以,為了感謝凱瑟里克太太多年來(lái)的服務(wù),我答應(yīng)承擔(dān)送她女兒去一家私立精神病院的所有費(fèi)用。但不幸的是,女孩知道以后,就開(kāi)始對(duì)我懷恨在心。她不久前從精神病院逃走了,我敢肯定是她出于對(duì)我的仇恨寫(xiě)了這封信。這太讓人傷心了。”
吉爾摩先生認(rèn)為這個(gè)解釋非常令人滿意,他說(shuō)完看了看我,希望我也同意他的說(shuō)法。可是,我有一種說(shuō)不清的不安的感覺(jué),猶豫了一會(huì)兒,沒(méi)有說(shuō)話。珀西瓦爾爵士立刻注意到了我的反應(yīng)。
“哈爾庫(kù)姆小姐,能否請(qǐng)你給凱瑟里克太太寫(xiě)封信,問(wèn)問(wèn)她這些是不是真的呢?”他非常客氣地說(shuō)。
我不想答應(yīng)他的要求,但是又怎么好拒絕呢?拒絕只能把事情弄得越來(lái)越尷尬。于是,我走到桌旁,寫(xiě)了封短信,然后交給了珀西瓦爾。他看也沒(méi)看就把信裝進(jìn)信封,寫(xiě)上了地址。
“好了,這件事就這樣了,”他說(shuō),“請(qǐng)問(wèn)安妮·凱瑟里克跟費(fèi)爾利小姐或者你談過(guò)嗎?”
“沒(méi)有。她只跟哈特里特先生談過(guò)。”我告訴他。
“噢,是了,那位繪畫(huà)教師,”他若有所思地說(shuō),“你們找到安妮·凱瑟里克的住處了嗎?”
我跟他講了農(nóng)場(chǎng)的情況。
“找到她是我的責(zé)任,”他接著說(shuō),“明天我就去農(nóng)場(chǎng)問(wèn)問(wèn)?!辈灰粫?huì)兒,他就上樓回他的房間去了。
* * *
那天晚上以及第二天,珀西瓦爾爵士努力尋找一切機(jī)會(huì)同勞拉講話,但勞拉一直心不在焉。珀西瓦爾去農(nóng)場(chǎng)調(diào)查,結(jié)果一無(wú)所獲。星期三凱瑟里克太太來(lái)信了,那是一封簡(jiǎn)短而又正式的信。信中感謝我給她寫(xiě)信,并且說(shuō)珀西瓦爾爵士告訴我的都是事實(shí)。
為什么我還是有疑問(wèn)呢?這封信對(duì)誰(shuí)來(lái)講都是充分的證據(jù),可我還是很希望沃爾特·哈特里特先生能在這兒發(fā)表一下他的看法。應(yīng)珀西瓦爾爵士的要求,我得向勞拉解釋一下安妮·凱瑟里克來(lái)信的事情。她靜靜地聽(tīng)著,臉上毫無(wú)表情。我注意到她手邊的桌上放著哈特里特先生的畫(huà)冊(cè)。我還得告訴她,珀西瓦爾爵士此行的目的是要確定他們結(jié)婚的日期。
“恐怕他會(huì)讓你馬上做決定,勞拉?!?/p>
“噢,不行,瑪麗安!我不能!”她說(shuō),“請(qǐng)幫我問(wèn)問(wèn)他,懇求他再給我些時(shí)間。我保證年底以前給他最終的答復(fù),但是現(xiàn)在不行,現(xiàn)在不行。”
珀西瓦爾爵士答應(yīng)了這個(gè)要求。吉爾摩先生得知事情的經(jīng)過(guò)后,準(zhǔn)備同勞拉單獨(dú)談?wù)劇?/p>
“我明天必須回倫敦去,”吉爾摩先生對(duì)我說(shuō),“走之前,我需要和費(fèi)爾利小姐談一下這樁婚事的財(cái)務(wù)問(wèn)題。你知道,明年3月她21歲的時(shí)候,她會(huì)繼承一大筆財(cái)產(chǎn),我必須把這些都寫(xiě)進(jìn)結(jié)婚協(xié)議中去,讓協(xié)議既能反映費(fèi)爾利小姐的愿望,也能令珀西瓦爾爵士接受?!?/p>
轉(zhuǎn)天上午,吉爾摩先生和勞拉談了話。下午,他動(dòng)身去倫敦時(shí),看上去憂心忡忡。不知道他們都說(shuō)了些什么,我連忙趕去勞拉的房間。
“噢,瑪麗安,快進(jìn)來(lái),我有話跟你說(shuō)?!眲诶f(shuō)。
“出了什么事,勞拉?是結(jié)婚協(xié)議的事嗎?”
“不是。我簡(jiǎn)直沒(méi)辦法跟吉爾摩先生談這件事。我真不好意思說(shuō)出口,剛才我只是一個(gè)勁兒地哭,什么也沒(méi)說(shuō)。吉爾摩先生非常善良,瑪麗安,他告訴我,他會(huì)幫我打理一切。我現(xiàn)在要告訴你的是,我再也受不了這種局面了,我必須結(jié)束這種狀況?!?/p>
她的眼睛很亮,語(yǔ)氣也很堅(jiān)決。我感到有些害怕,“你想要做什么,親愛(ài)的勞拉?你要解除同珀西瓦爾爵士的婚約嗎?”
“不是的,”她回答,“我不能打破對(duì)父親的承諾。但是,我要說(shuō)出真話,我要告訴珀西瓦爾爵士我愛(ài)上了別人?!?/p>
“勞拉!他無(wú)權(quán)知道這件事!”我驚訝地說(shuō)。
“我不能欺騙他,”她說(shuō),“我已經(jīng)想好了。我把真相告訴他,讓他決定該怎么辦?!?/p>
我看著她純潔、深情的眼神,一句話也說(shuō)不出來(lái)。我伸手抱住她,盡量控制自己不哭出來(lái)。
“明天我就跟他說(shuō),你跟我去,好嗎,瑪麗安?”
我緊緊地抱著她,答應(yīng)了她的請(qǐng)求——我也不清楚自己做的是對(duì)是錯(cuò)。我對(duì)什么都沒(méi)了把握。我不明白為什么我沒(méi)發(fā)覺(jué)她愛(ài)沃爾特·哈特里特愛(ài)得那么深。我第一次對(duì)她做出了錯(cuò)誤的判斷?,F(xiàn)在我知道,她會(huì)一輩子愛(ài)著他。
* * *
第二天早晨發(fā)生的事讓我一點(diǎn)兒也高興不起來(lái),可憐的沃爾特·哈特里特來(lái)信說(shuō)他決定離開(kāi)英國(guó),問(wèn)我能否幫他在國(guó)外找份工作。信后面的內(nèi)容使我非常擔(dān)心。他回倫敦以后,既沒(méi)有見(jiàn)到安妮·凱瑟里克,也沒(méi)有打聽(tīng)到她的任何消息,反而覺(jué)得有陌生人在盯他的梢。我擔(dān)心他情緒不穩(wěn),趕忙給幾個(gè)在倫敦的朋友寫(xiě)信,看他們能不能幫他在國(guó)外找到一份合適的工作。當(dāng)然,勞拉對(duì)信的事一無(wú)所知。
珀西瓦爾爵士沒(méi)有來(lái)同我們一起吃早餐,他捎話給我們說(shuō)他會(huì)按約定11點(diǎn)來(lái)見(jiàn)我們。勞拉超乎尋常的冷靜、鎮(zhèn)定。我從未見(jiàn)她這樣過(guò),好像愛(ài)情使她更堅(jiān)強(qiáng)了。
11點(diǎn)整,珀西瓦爾爵士敲門進(jìn)來(lái)。他滿臉緊張和不安。這次談話將會(huì)決定他今后的生活,他顯然非常清楚這一點(diǎn)。
“你可能會(huì)認(rèn)為我是來(lái)請(qǐng)求與你解除婚約的,珀西瓦爾爵士,”勞拉冷靜地說(shuō),“我不是來(lái)做這樣的請(qǐng)求的,我非常尊重父親的意愿?!?/p>
珀西瓦爾爵士的表情放松了一些,但我看到他的一只腳在緊張地敲打著地毯。
“我不會(huì)那樣做的,如果我們兩人要解除婚約的話,那一定是出于你的意愿,珀西瓦爾爵士,而不會(huì)是我的?!?/p>
“我的意愿?”他吃驚地說(shuō),“我能有什么理由解除婚約呢?”
“一個(gè)很難向你啟齒的理由,我這里有了些變故?!眲诶卮稹?/p>
珀西瓦爾的臉色變得煞白,雙唇一點(diǎn)兒血色都沒(méi)有。他把臉轉(zhuǎn)向一側(cè)。
“什么變故?”他盡量掩飾著自己的緊張。
“兩年前約定婚事的時(shí)候,我的愛(ài)不屬于任何人,”勞拉接著說(shuō),“如果我告訴你,珀西瓦爾爵士,我的愛(ài)現(xiàn)在屬于另一個(gè)人,你會(huì)原諒我嗎?”
她的眼淚流了下來(lái)。珀西瓦爾爵士用手捂住了臉,讓人看不出他是怎么想的。他一句話也不說(shuō),我的直脾氣可受不了了。
“珀西瓦爾爵士!”我大聲問(wèn)道,“你不想說(shuō)點(diǎn)兒什么嗎?你已經(jīng)聽(tīng)到了本來(lái)你無(wú)權(quán)聽(tīng)到的事情。”
“可我并沒(méi)有要求這權(quán)利?!彼乇芰宋业膯?wèn)題。
“我想告訴你,”勞拉繼續(xù)說(shuō),“我再也見(jiàn)不到那個(gè)人了。如果你和我分手,我會(huì)終身不嫁。我只請(qǐng)求你原諒我,并為我保守秘密?!?/p>
“兩件事我都答應(yīng)?!辩晡魍郀栒f(shuō)完,看了看勞拉,似乎等著她再說(shuō)些什么。
“我想我已經(jīng)講了足夠的理由讓你解除婚約?!眲诶届o地說(shuō)。
“不,你說(shuō)了這么多,我唯一的感覺(jué)是我一生最大的愿望就是同你結(jié)婚?!闭f(shuō)著,他起身朝勞拉走過(guò)來(lái)。
勞拉驚訝得“咦”了一聲,我倒是猜到了幾分他會(huì)這么說(shuō)。勞拉講的每一句話都透出她的真誠(chéng)和純潔,但是這樣良好的品德卻毀掉了她解脫的希望。珀西瓦爾爵士很清楚,一個(gè)純潔、真誠(chéng)的女人是無(wú)價(jià)之寶。他為什么要放棄呢?
“我會(huì)盡一切所能去贏得你的愛(ài),也許最終我會(huì)成功的?!辩晡魍郀栒f(shuō)。
“永遠(yuǎn)也不會(huì)的!”勞拉看上去更美了,“我會(huì)是你忠實(shí)的妻子,但永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)愛(ài)你?!?/p>
“這就足夠了。我愿意接受你的忠貞和真誠(chéng)?!闭f(shuō)罷,他拿起勞拉的手吻了吻,然后默默地走出房間。
勞拉坐在那里一動(dòng)不動(dòng),我伸出手摟住她。最后她開(kāi)口道:“我必須退讓,瑪麗安。你給沃爾特寫(xiě)信時(shí),不要告訴他我不開(kāi)心。假如我比他先死了,你一定對(duì)他說(shuō),說(shuō)我不能親口對(duì)他說(shuō)的話——我愛(ài)他!”
說(shuō)完,她撲在沙發(fā)上放聲痛哭,哭得好像心都碎了一樣,最后她趴在那兒睡著了。
* * *
接下來(lái)的日子里,好像什么也阻止不了這樁不幸的婚姻。我力圖讓勞拉改變主意,但她卻堅(jiān)持要恪守諾言,履行義務(wù)。費(fèi)爾利先生自然非常高興,因?yàn)檫@場(chǎng)“家庭煩惱”終于畫(huà)上了句號(hào)。他建議他的侄女越早結(jié)婚越好。這令我很氣憤,但我把這話告訴勞拉后,她的平靜反應(yīng)倒讓我吃了一驚。
“叔叔說(shuō)的對(duì),我給大家?guī)?lái)了太多麻煩。讓珀西瓦爾爵士決定我們的結(jié)婚日期吧。”
珀西瓦爾爵士對(duì)此非常高興,他離開(kāi)莊園回漢普郡,準(zhǔn)備迎接新娘。
我想換一個(gè)環(huán)境肯定對(duì)勞拉有好處,于是安排我們兩人到約克郡的朋友那里呆一段時(shí)間。她同意了。我還給吉爾摩先生寫(xiě)了信,告訴他這樁婚事可以繼續(xù)了。
第二天,我收到了沃爾特·哈特里特的來(lái)信,信中說(shuō)我的朋友為他找到一份工作,要到中美洲長(zhǎng)途旅行,他做隨行的畫(huà)家,11月21號(hào)動(dòng)身,行程6個(gè)月。我衷心希望這是最好的安排。
勞拉和我動(dòng)身前往約克郡。但是,剛剛在那里住了9天,我們就收到費(fèi)爾利先生的信,讓我們立即返回利默里奇。這意味著什么呢,我想不出。
一回來(lái)我就明白了。費(fèi)爾利先生和珀西瓦爾爵士已經(jīng)把婚禮的時(shí)間定在12月22日,就等勞拉點(diǎn)頭同意了。費(fèi)爾利先生問(wèn)我可不可以說(shuō)服勞拉同意這個(gè)日期,他本人神經(jīng)不好,無(wú)法跟她談。
我見(jiàn)到了我們的老朋友吉爾摩先生,他是來(lái)同費(fèi)爾利先生談?dòng)嘘P(guān)結(jié)婚協(xié)議的事的。他當(dāng)天就要離開(kāi)莊園,著急想與我單獨(dú)談?wù)劇?/p>
“哈爾庫(kù)姆小姐,我對(duì)結(jié)婚協(xié)議中的財(cái)務(wù)安排非常不滿意,”他對(duì)我說(shuō),“但是我一點(diǎn)兒辦法也沒(méi)有。我知道你多么愛(ài)你的妹妹,所以我認(rèn)為你應(yīng)該知道我為什么擔(dān)心。
“你知道,”他接著說(shuō),“費(fèi)爾利小姐繼承的財(cái)產(chǎn)包括三部分。第一,費(fèi)爾利先生死后,她會(huì)繼承利默里奇的財(cái)產(chǎn)和土地以及由此產(chǎn)生的收入。如果她死后沒(méi)有孩子,這份財(cái)產(chǎn)將轉(zhuǎn)到她的一個(gè)親戚名下,但財(cái)產(chǎn)的收入在她丈夫在世的時(shí)候?qū)w他所有。如果她有個(gè)兒子,所有的財(cái)產(chǎn)和收入都?xì)w她的兒子。這一點(diǎn)沒(méi)有任何問(wèn)題。
“第二,明年3月費(fèi)爾利小姐21歲的時(shí)候,她將得到10,000英鎊的收入。如果費(fèi)爾利小姐在她姑媽埃莉諾之前死去,這筆錢就歸她姑媽,這當(dāng)然不大可能。費(fèi)爾利小姐的父親之所以死的時(shí)候沒(méi)有把這10,000英鎊留給他的妹妹埃莉諾,是因?yàn)樗麖?qiáng)烈反對(duì)她嫁給一個(gè)外國(guó)人,雖然那個(gè)人是位意大利貴族,福斯科伯爵。”
“是的,勞拉跟我說(shuō)過(guò)這件事?!蔽艺f(shuō)。
“好吧,”吉爾摩先生接著說(shuō),“這一部分也沒(méi)有問(wèn)題??墒堑谌糠志筒荒敲春?jiǎn)單了。明年3月,她還將繼承20,000英鎊,這完全是屬于她個(gè)人的一筆錢。如果她先于她丈夫死去,從這20,000英鎊獲得的收入將屬于珀西瓦爾爵士,直至他去世;而這20,000英鎊本金將歸他們的孩子所有。假如沒(méi)有孩子繼承這筆錢,費(fèi)爾利小姐死的時(shí)候,可以選擇親屬或朋友繼承。這是我的建議。但是,珀西瓦爾爵士的律師拒不接受這一點(diǎn),他堅(jiān)持認(rèn)為,如果珀西瓦爾爵士死在他妻子后面,同時(shí)他們又沒(méi)有孩子,珀西瓦爾就應(yīng)該得到這筆錢。那樣的話,費(fèi)爾利家族的任何其他人,包括你在內(nèi),都得不到一分錢,哈爾庫(kù)姆小姐?!?/p>
吉爾摩先生長(zhǎng)嘆了一口氣,“我堅(jiān)決反對(duì)這樣。我極力爭(zhēng)取,但還是無(wú)法讓那位律師改變主意。我發(fā)現(xiàn)珀西瓦爾爵士長(zhǎng)期欠債,急需現(xiàn)金。我最后的努力就是來(lái)這里試圖說(shuō)服費(fèi)爾利先生反對(duì)珀西瓦爾爵士律師的要求,非常遺憾,我沒(méi)有成功。對(duì)他侄女的這樁婚事費(fèi)爾利先生什么也不想管。他說(shuō)他侄女不會(huì)死在珀西瓦爾爵士前面的,又有什么可擔(dān)心的呢?”
吉爾摩先生站起身,拿起帽子準(zhǔn)備離開(kāi),“我會(huì)把協(xié)議擬好,并把它寄給你們。我沒(méi)別的辦法,我不這樣做,費(fèi)爾利先生也會(huì)再找一名律師這樣做的。不過(guò),我跟你說(shuō),哈爾庫(kù)姆小姐,我是不會(huì)讓我女兒根據(jù)我被迫為費(fèi)爾利小姐準(zhǔn)備的這樣一份協(xié)議嫁人的?!?/p>
說(shuō)完,他握了握我的手,一言不發(fā)地離開(kāi)這里,去趕回倫敦的火車了。
吉爾摩先生走后,我盡量保持理智。費(fèi)爾利先生是勞拉的監(jiān)護(hù)人,如果他愿意接受這份協(xié)議,我做什么都無(wú)濟(jì)于事。這是這樁可怕婚姻的又一個(gè)令人擔(dān)憂的地方?,F(xiàn)在更緊迫的事情是結(jié)婚日期。我把結(jié)婚的日期告訴勞拉以后,她的臉色立刻變白了,身體也開(kāi)始發(fā)抖。
“不要這么快!”她喊道,“噢,瑪麗安,不要這么快!”
“好吧,那我去和費(fèi)爾利先生說(shuō),”我這樣說(shuō)著,已經(jīng)做好了為她去抗?fàn)幍臏?zhǔn)備,“我會(huì)盡力去改變這個(gè)日期?!?/p>
“算了吧,”她有氣無(wú)力地說(shuō),“一切都太晚了,瑪麗安,太晚了!抗?fàn)幹荒軒?lái)更多的麻煩。去告訴我叔叔,我同意了?!?/p>
我要不是氣憤至極,肯定就會(huì)哭出聲來(lái)。我沖進(jìn)費(fèi)爾利先生的房間,大聲喊道:“勞拉同意22日結(jié)婚!”——然后沖出去,很響地甩上門。但愿我能讓他的神經(jīng)一整天都不得安寧。
* * *
這以后,婚禮的準(zhǔn)備工作開(kāi)始了。整天都有裁縫進(jìn)進(jìn)出出;要收拾行李,做計(jì)劃,進(jìn)行各種安排。我們每天都能收到珀西瓦爾爵士的來(lái)信,他提議婚禮之后帶勞拉到意大利住六個(gè)月,見(jiàn)一些珀西瓦爾的朋友,包括他最好的老朋友福斯科伯爵。福斯科伯爵的妻子當(dāng)然就是勞拉的姑媽埃莉諾。這樁婚姻起碼可以讓勞拉和她的姑媽重逢,我這樣想著。聽(tīng)起來(lái)伯爵本人倒是一個(gè)非常有趣的人,我也想有朝一日能見(jiàn)見(jiàn)他。
日子很快地過(guò)去了。珀西瓦爾爵士終于來(lái)了。他看上去有些疲倦和不安,但是有說(shuō)有笑的仿佛世界上最幸福的男人就是他。他來(lái)的當(dāng)天晚上去了村子里,打聽(tīng)是否有人知道安妮·凱瑟里克的消息。雖然沒(méi)人給他提供什么消息,但我必須承認(rèn)他繼續(xù)尋求幫助她,這是善舉。我決定努力改變對(duì)他不好的看法,說(shuō)到底,我有什么理由不信任他呢?我相信如果真的努力嘗試,我可能會(huì)喜歡他的。
喜歡他是很容易的。今天我同他說(shuō)起勞拉與我的最大愿望——在勞拉結(jié)婚之后,我和她還能像以前一樣住在一起。他立刻就答應(yīng)了,而且很高興能有這樣的安排。他說(shuō)我將是他妻子最理想、最合適的陪伴。是啊,我開(kāi)始非常喜歡珀西瓦爾爵士了。
* * *
我恨珀西瓦爾爵士!他不善解人意,缺乏同情心,沒(méi)有好心腸。昨天晚上,他跟勞拉耳語(yǔ)了些什么——?jiǎng)诶辉父嬖V我具體內(nèi)容——她的臉色變得非常難看。而他卻一點(diǎn)兒沒(méi)在意。我以前對(duì)他所有的懷疑又出現(xiàn)了?,F(xiàn)在,他是不是露出了他的本來(lái)面目?他變得比以往更加焦躁不安,經(jīng)常言語(yǔ)尖刻,發(fā)脾氣。我有個(gè)奇怪的想法,是不是會(huì)有什么事阻止這樁婚姻,而他又非常害怕那樣的結(jié)局。這是胡思亂想,我不能當(dāng)真。
我們分別的日子一天天臨近了,勞拉一刻也不肯離開(kāi)我。為了她,我必須勇敢些,高興起來(lái)。但是,我的擔(dān)心沒(méi)有消失。這樁婚姻會(huì)成為勞拉一生的大錯(cuò)嗎?會(huì)成為我傷心、痛苦的根源嗎?
* * *
22日到了。時(shí)間到了,不能再哭了。勞拉梳妝打扮完畢,我們要去教堂了。11點(diǎn)鐘,婚禮就會(huì)結(jié)束。下午3點(diǎn),他們就離開(kāi)這里了。我已經(jīng)哭得視線模糊,無(wú)法繼續(xù)寫(xiě)下去了……
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