雙語·《刀鋒》 第四章 七

CHAPTER FOUR 7
第四章 七

I mentioned Suzanne Rouvier at the beginning of this book. I had known her for ten or twelve years and at the date which I have now reached she must have been not far from forty.She was not beautiful；in fact she was rather ugly.She was tall for a Frenchwoman, with a short body, long legs, and long arms, and she held herself gawkily as though she didn't know how to cope with the length of her limbs.The colour of her hair changed according to her whim, but most often it was a reddish brown.She had a small square face, with very prominent cheekbones vividly rouged, and a large mouth with heavily-painted lips.None of this sounds attractive, but it was；it is true that she had a good skin, strong white teeth, and big, vividly blue eyes.They were her best feature, and she made the most of them by painting her eyelashes and her eyelids.She had a shrewd, roving, friendly look and she combined great good nature with a proper degree of toughness.In the life she had led she needed to be tough.Her mother, the widow of a small official in the government, had on his death returned to her native village in Anjou to live on her pension, and when Suzanne was fifteen she apprenticed her to a dress-maker in the neighbouring town, which was near enough for her to be able to come home on Sundays.It was during her fortnight's holiday, when she had reached the age of seventeen, that she was seduced by an artist who was spending his summer in the village to paint landscape.She already knew very well that without a penny to bless herself with her chance of marriage was remote and when the painter, at the end of the summer, proposed taking her to Paris she consented with alacrity.He took her to live with him in a rabbit-warren of studios in Montmartre, and she spent a very pleasant year in his company.At the end of this he told her that he had not sold a single canvas and could no longer afford the luxury of a mistress.She had been expecting the news for some time and was not disconcerted by it.He asked her if she wanted to go home and when she said she didn't, told her that another painter in the same block would be glad to have her.The man he named had made a pass at her two or three times and though she had rebuffed him it had been with so much good humour that he was not affronted.She did not dislike him and so accepted the proposition with placidity.It was convenient that she did not have to go to the expense of taking a taxi to transport her trunk.Her second lover, a good deal older than the first, but still presentable, painted her in every conceivable position, clothed and in the nude；and she passed two happy years with him.She was proud to think that with her as a model he had made his first real success and she showed me a reproduction cut out of an illustrated paper of the picture that had brought it about.It had been purchased by an American gallery.It was a nude, life-size, and shewas lying in something of the same position as Manet's Olympe.The artist had been quick to see that there was something modern and amusing in her proportions, and, fining down her thin body to emaciation, he had elongated her long legs and arms, he had emphasized her high cheekbones and made her blue eyes extravagantly large.From the reproduction I naturally could not tell what the colour was like, but I was sensible of the elegance of the design.The picture brought him sufficient notoriety to enable him to marry an admiring widow with money, and Suzanne, well aware that a man had to think of his future, accepted the rupture of their cordial relations without acrimony.
在本書開篇的時候，我曾提到過蘇姍娜·魯維埃。我認識此人已有十一二年了，此時再提起，她恐怕已近不惑之年了。她并不漂亮，其實可以說其貌不揚。在法國女人里面，她個子算是高的，短身軀，長胳臂長腿，笨手笨腳，仿佛真不知如何擺布那么長的四肢才好。她憑著自己的心情將頭發(fā)染成各種顏色，但多數(shù)時間她的頭發(fā)是紅褐色的。她有一張小小的四方臉，顴骨特別高，濃妝艷抹，大嘴巴，嘴唇上涂著厚厚的一層唇膏。這一說，好像她全無動人之處了，但偏偏還是有人看上了她。話又說回來，她皮膚很好，有一口結(jié)實的白牙和一雙炯炯有神的藍色大眼睛。眼睛算是她身上最漂亮的部位了，所以她便把睫毛和眼皮都染黑加以渲染。她看上去既精明又和善，像是見過世面的，本性既有寬厚的一面又有強硬的一面。在她的人生中，是不得不強硬的。她父親是一個政府部門的小公務(wù)員，死后母親守寡，回到安茹州她原來那個村莊，靠撫恤金過活。蘇姍娜十五歲那年，被送到鄰鎮(zhèn)一個服裝店里當學(xué)徒，那兒離家近，星期天可以回家。十七歲那年夏天，蘇姍娜有兩個星期假期，就在休假期間被一個來村子里畫風景的畫家勾引上了。她心里很清楚，家里一分錢的嫁妝也出不起，嫁人的事遙遙無期。所以，在夏天快完時，畫家提出要帶她到巴黎去，她便欣然答應(yīng)了。他帶她來到巴黎的蒙馬特高地，住進一個兔子窩般大小的畫室，二人相依相伴，度過了一年快樂的時光。末了，他告訴她，說自己連一幅畫也沒有賣出去，再也養(yǎng)不起情婦了。她早就料到會有這一天，沒有為之感到慌亂。他問她想不想回老家，她說不想，于是他就說同一個街區(qū)有個畫家愿意跟她一起生活。他說的那個人曾經(jīng)勾引過她兩三次，被她拒絕了，但沒傷和氣，沒有令對方感到難堪。對那人她并不感到討厭，所以泰然地接受了這項提議。搬家很方便，用不著花錢叫出租車，提著箱子就過去了。這第二個情人比第一個年齡大許多，但仍像模像樣的，讓她擺各種姿勢為她畫像，有穿衣服的，也有裸體的。二人同居，高高興興度過了兩年的時光。想起來讓她感到自豪的是，他的第一張真正成功的畫作是以她當模特兒的。她曾經(jīng)讓我看過那幅畫，是從一份介紹此畫的畫報上剪下來的。這幅畫后來被美國的一家畫廊買了去。這是一幅裸體畫，真人一般大小——她呈臥式，姿勢和馬奈的油畫《奧林普》差不多。這個畫家敏銳地發(fā)現(xiàn)她的身體比例有一種現(xiàn)代情趣，于是采用夸張的手法，將她原本消瘦的身子畫得骨瘦如柴，把她的長胳膊長腿畫得更長，兩個高顴骨更為突出，一雙藍眼睛大得出奇。從剪下來的畫上看不出用的是什么色調(diào)，但構(gòu)圖相當有看頭。此畫叫他名聲大噪，贏得了一個闊寡婦的敬仰，二人喜結(jié)良緣。蘇姍娜深知男人得以自己的前程為重，沒吵沒鬧，和他斷絕了這段你親我愛的關(guān)系。

For by now she knew her value. She liked the artistic life, it amused her to pose, and after the day's work was over she found it pleasant to go to the café and sit with painters, their wives and mistresses, while they discussed art, reviled dealers, and told bawdy stories.On this occasion, having seen the break coming, she had made her plans.She picked out a young man who was unattached and who, she thought, had talent.She chose her opportunity when he was alone at the café，explained the circumstances, and without further preamble suggested that they should live together.
此時，她已認識到了自身的價值。她喜歡藝術(shù)家的那種生活，喜歡給畫家當模特兒。干完一天的活，就去泡咖啡館，跟畫家們、畫家的妻子和情婦坐在一起，聽畫家們談?wù)撍囆g(shù)，詛咒畫商，講些下流故事，她覺得這種生活很有情趣。在這期間，她已看到了自己與那位畫家的關(guān)系快到了頭，便打起了小算盤。她相中了一個身邊沒女人的年輕畫家，覺得他很有才氣。她瞅準機會，一次見這位畫家單獨坐在咖啡館里，便向他講了自己的處境，開門見山地提出想跟他一道過日子。

“I'm twenty and a good housekeeper. I'll save you money there and I'll save you the expense of a model.Look at your shirt, it's a disgrace, and your studio is a mess.You want a woman to look after you.”
“我今年二十歲，持家有方，在家務(wù)方面能為你省下一筆錢，還能為你省下雇用模特兒的開銷。瞧瞧你的襯衫，簡直不像個樣子，你的畫室亂得像雞窩。你需要有個女人照應(yīng)你?！?/p>

He knew she was a good sort. He was amused at her proposal and she saw he was inclined to accept.
畫家早就知道她很能干，聽了她的提議，產(chǎn)生了興趣。她見對方有接受的意思，便接著說道：

“After all, there's no harm in trying，”she said.“If it doesn't work we shall neither of us be worse off than we are now.”
“先試試反正也沒有害處。萬一行不通，咱倆誰也不會有損失的?！?/p>

He was a non-representative artist and he painted portraits of her in squares and oblongs. He painted her with one eye and no mouth.He painted her as a geometrical arrangement in black and brown and grey.He painted her in a criss-cross of lines through which you vaguely saw a human face.She stayed with him for a year and a half and left him of her own accord.
他是個非表現(xiàn)派的畫家，給她畫像畫的全是些四方塊和長方塊；畫她只有一只眼睛，沒有嘴；把她畫成一幅黑、棕、灰色交織的幾何圖案；畫成一大堆雜亂無章的線條，從中勉強可以看出一張人臉。她和他同居了一年半，后來自動離開了他。

“Why?”I asked her.“Didn't you like him?”
“為什么要走？”我問她，“你不喜歡他嗎？”

“Yes, he was a nice boy. I didn't think he was getting any further.He was repeating himself.”
“喜歡倒是喜歡，他是個挺不錯的小伙子，只是覺得他再不會有進步了，老是重復(fù)自己。”

She found no difficulty in discovering a successor. She remained faithful to artists.
沒費吹灰之力，她又傍上了一個畫家。不管跟誰，她始終都不離開畫家圈子。

“I've always been in painting，”she said.“I was with a sculptor for six months, but I don't know why, it said nothing to me.”
“我一直都在畫界打轉(zhuǎn)?！彼f，“我和一個雕塑家待過半年，但不知為什么總覺得沒情沒趣的。”

She was pleased to think that she had never separated from a lover with unpleasantness. She was not only a good model, but a good housewife.She loved working about the studio she happened for a while to be living in and took pride in keeping it in apple-pie order.She was a good cook and could turn out a tasty meal at the smallest possible cost.She mended her lovers'socks and sewed buttons on their shirts.
每次跟情人分手，從沒有出現(xiàn)過叫人不愉快的事情，這讓她想起來都感到高興。她不僅是個出色的模特兒，也是個能干的主婦。不管住進哪個畫室，她都喜歡那一方之地，把畫室收拾得整整齊齊，并以此而感到自豪。她廚藝精湛，花很少一點錢就能燒出極為可口的飯菜。情人的襪子破了她給補，情人衣服上的扣子掉了她給縫。

“I never saw why because a man was an artist he shouldn't be neat and tidy.”
“我簡直就不明白為什么一個人因為是個畫家，就不能穿得整整齊齊的。”

She only had one failure. This was a young Englishman who had more money than anyone she had known before and he had a car.
她只有一次日子過不下去的。那是和一個英國小伙子的往事。那人比她以前的任何一個情人都有錢，而且還有一輛汽車。

“But it didn't last long，”she said.“He used to get drunk and then he was tiresome. I wouldn't have minded that if he'd been a good painter, but, my dear, it was grotesque.I told him I was going to leave him and he began to cry.He said he loved me.
“不過，我們倆沒多久便分手了?！彼f，他酗酒成性，一喝醉便叫人心煩。如果他的畫好，我也不會在乎的，可是，親愛的，他的那些畫全是涂鴉之作。我跟他說要離開他了，他就哭了起來，說他愛我。

“‘My poor friend，'I said to him.‘Whether you love me or not isn't of the smallest consequence. What is of consequence is that you have no talent.Return to your own country and go into the grocery business.That is all you're fit for.'”
“‘我可憐的朋友，’我對他說，‘你愛不愛我都無關(guān)緊要。關(guān)鍵是你沒有繪畫的天賦。還是回到你們國家去吧，開家雜貨鋪。你適合干那一行?！?/p>

“What did he say to that?”I asked.
“他聽了后怎么說？”我問。

“He flew into a passion and told me to get out. But it was good advice I gave him, you know.I hope he took it, he wasn't a bad fellow；only a bad artist.”
“他聽了勃然大怒，讓我趕快滾蛋。你知道，忠言是逆耳的。真希望他能聽人勸。他不是個壞人，只是畫技太差?！?/p>

Common sense and good nature will do a lot to make the pilgrimage of life not too difficult to a light woman, but the profession Suzanne had adopted had its ups and downs like any other. There was the Scandinavian for instance.She was so imprudent as to fall in love with him.
在風月場上，對于一個風塵女子而言，世情練達、心地善良是有好處的，可以化解一部分困難，但欲海情波中畢竟有許多沉浮，蘇姍娜也不例外。她和那個斯堪的納維亞人的戀情堪為借鑒。她千不該萬不該，就不該墜入那張情網(wǎng)。

“He was a god, my dear，”she told me.“He was immensely tall, as tall as the Eiffel Tower, with great broadshoulders and a magnificent chest, a waist that you could almost put your hands round, a belly flat, but flat like the palm of my hand, and muscles like a professional athlete's. He had golden, wavy hair and a skin of honey.And he didn't paint badly.I liked his brush work, it was bold and dashing, and he had a rich vivid palette.”
“他簡直就是天神一樣的人物，”她告訴我說，“個子特別高，高得就像埃菲爾鐵塔，寬肩膀、闊胸脯，腰細得用兩只手幾乎就可以圍過來，肚子扁平，平得和我的手掌一樣，肌肉結(jié)實得像個職業(yè)運動員，一頭金黃色的卷發(fā)，皮膚細如白瓷。他的畫技也不錯。我喜歡他的筆觸——大膽而有力，他的著色豐富活潑。”

She made up her mind to have a child by him. He was against it, but she told him she would take the responsibility.
她算計著想和他生個孩子。對方堅決反對，可她說孩子由她負責撫養(yǎng)。

‘He liked it well enough when it was born. Oh, such a lovely baby, rosy, fair-haired and blue-eyed like her papa.It was a girl.”
“后來生了個女孩，他愛如掌上明珠。那孩子可愛極了，玫瑰色的皮膚，金色的頭發(fā)，藍色的眼睛，酷似她的爸爸?！?/p>

Suzanne lived with him for three years.
蘇姍娜和他同居，度過了三年的時光。

“He was a little stupid and sometimes he bored me, but he was very sweet and so beautiful that I didn't really mind.”
“他有點愚蠢，有時候叫人心煩。不過，他十分殷勤，而且長得那么英俊，我也就不太在乎了?！?/p>

Then he got a telegram from Sweden to say his father was dying and he must come back at once. He promised to return, but she had a premonition that he never would.He left her all the money he had.She didn't hear from him for a month and then she got a letter from him saying that his father had died, leaving his affairs in confusion, and that he felt it his duty to remain by his mother and go into the lumber business.He enclosed a draft for ten thousand francs.Suzanne was not the woman to give way to despair.She came to the conclusion very quickly that a child would hamper her activities, so she took the baby girl down to her mother's and left her, along with the ten thousand francs, in her care.
后來，他接到瑞典的一封電報，說他父親病危，要他立刻回家。他滿口答應(yīng)一定回來，可是蘇姍娜有個預(yù)感，覺得他會一去不復(fù)返。他把所有的錢都留給了蘇姍娜，走后一個月杳無音信。后來，蘇姍娜收到他的一封信，說父親已去世，一大堆亂麻一樣的事情需要料理，說自己必須對母親盡孝，留下來經(jīng)營木材生意。信中附了一張一萬法郎的支票。蘇姍娜可不是那種遇事便一蹶不振的人。她當下就做出了判斷，認為有個孩子在身邊會妨礙她做那半掩門的生意。故而，她將小女兒帶到鄉(xiāng)下，把女兒連同那一萬法郎交給自己的母親，托她代為撫養(yǎng)。

“It was heart-rending, I adored that child, but in life one has to be practical.”
“我的心都快碎了。我愛那孩子，但過日子得講求實際呀?！?/p>

“What happened then?”I asked.
“以后的情況怎樣？”

“Oh, I got along. I found a friend.”
“唉，混日子唄。我又找到了一個朋友。”

But then came her typhoid. She always spoke of it as“my typhoid”as a millionaire might speak of“my place at Palm Beach”or“my grouse moor”.She nearly died of it and was in the hospital for three months.When she left she was nothing but skin and bone, as weak as a rat, and so nervous that she could do nothing but cry.She wasn't much use to anyone then, she wasn't strong enough to pose and she had very little money.
后來，她染上了傷寒。提起那病，她總是說“我的傷寒”，就像百萬富翁炫耀自己的度假地時說“我的棕櫚灘”或者“我的松雞澤”一樣。那場病差點要了她的命，讓她在醫(yī)院里躺了三個月。出院時，她已骨瘦如柴，弱不禁風，神經(jīng)脆弱得動不動就想哭。她成了個沒有價值的窩囊廢，當模特兒吧，身體支撐不下來，口袋里的錢已所剩無幾。

“Oh la, la，”she said，“I passed through some hard times. Luckily I had good friends.But you know what artists are, it's a struggle for them to make both ends meet, anyway.I was never a pretty woman, I had something of course, but I wasn't twenty any more.Then I ran into the cubist I'd been with；he'd been married and divorced since we lived together, he'd given up cubism and become a surrealist.He thought he could use me and said he was lonely；he said he’d give me board and lodgings and I promise you, I was glad to accept.”
“哎呀呀，”她說道，“那是一段艱難的日月。幸虧我還有些好朋友幫忙。不過，你也知道畫家的窘境，個個日子都過得緊巴巴的。我從來就不怎么漂亮，只是有點魅力罷了。但畢竟不再是二十歲的青春女子了。后來碰上了那個曾經(jīng)跟我同居過的立體派畫家。自從我們分手之后，他結(jié)了婚，隨即又離了。他已放棄了立體派畫風，秉承了超現(xiàn)實派的衣缽。他覺得可以利用我，于是說自己單身很孤獨，提出和我一道生活，給我提供食宿。實不相瞞，我當下就同意了?！?/p>

Suzanne stayed with him till she met her manufacturer. The manufacturer was brought to the studio by a friend on the chance that he might buy one of the ex-cubist's pictures, and Suzanne, anxious to effect a sale, set herself out to be as agreeable to him as she knew how.He could not make up his mind to buy on the spur of the moment, but said he would like to come and see the pictures again.He did, a fortnight later, and this time she received the impression that he had come to see her rather than works of art.When he left, still without buying, he pressed her hand with unnecessary warmth.Next day the friend who had brought him waylaid her when she was on her way to market to buy the day's provisions and told her that the manufacturer had taken a fancy to her and wanted to know if she would dine with him next time he came to Paris, because he had a proposition to make to her.
就這樣，蘇姍娜一直和這位畫家生活在一起，直至那位制造商出現(xiàn)。制造商是一個朋友領(lǐng)到畫室來的，指望著能買一幅這位前立體派畫家的畫。蘇姍娜一心想促成這筆生意，于是施展出手段來熱情待客。制造商不能當場決定買還是不買，但是說過后再來看看。兩個星期后，他果然來了。這一次，蘇姍娜有個印象：他是來看她的，而非看畫。離開時，他仍舊沒有買，跟她握手時用了一點勁，顯得有些過分親熱。次日，那個領(lǐng)制造商來看畫的朋友趁她到菜市場買菜之際，半路截住了她，說制造商看上了她，下次來巴黎時，想請她吃頓飯，到時候有話跟她說。

“What does he see in me, d'you suppose?”she asked.
“你覺得他看上了我什么呢？”她問道。

“He's an amateur of modern art. He's seen portraits of you.You intrigue him.He's a provincial and a business-man.You represent Paris to him, art, romance, everything that he misses in Lille.”
“他是現(xiàn)代藝術(shù)的愛好者，見過你的肖像畫，極為傾倒。他是外省人，而且是做生意的。你在他眼中代表著巴黎、藝術(shù)、愛情——這些都是他在生活中所缺乏的?！?/p>

“Has he money?”she asked in her sensible way.
“他有錢嗎？”她理智地問。

“Plenty.”
“有許多錢?！?/p>

“Well, I'll dine with him. There's no harm hearing what he's got to say.”
“那好，我愿意和他吃飯。他有什么話，聽聽也無妨。”

He took her to Maxim's, which impressed her；she had dressed very quietly, and she felt as she looked at the women around her that she could pass very well for a respectable married woman. He ordered a bottle of champagne, and this persuaded her that he was a gentleman.When they came to coffee he put his proposition before her.Shethought it very handsome.He told her that he came to Paris regularly once a fortnight to attend a board meeting, and it was tiresome in the evening to dine alone and if he felt the need of feminine society to go to a brothel.Being a married man with two children, he thought that an unsatisfactory arrangement for a man in his position.Their common friend had told him all about her and he knew she was a woman of discretion.He was no longer young and he had no wish to get entangled with a giddy girl.He was something of a collector of the modern school and her connexion with it was sympathetic to him.Then he came down to brass tacks.He was prepared to take an apartment for her and furnish it and provide her with an income of two thousand francs a month.In return for this he wished to enjoy her company for one night every fourteen days.Suzanne had never had the spending of so much money in her life, and she quickly reckoned that on such a sum she could not only live and dress as such an advancement in the world evidently demanded, but provide for her daughter and put away something for a rainy day.But she hesitated for a moment.She had always been“in painting”，as she put it, and there was no doubt in her mind that it was a come-down to be the mistress of a businessman.
制造商帶她去馬克西姆飯店吃飯，給她留下了好印象。她的穿著十分素雅。瞧瞧周圍的女人，相比之下，她覺得自己看起來不錯，非常像一個體面的已婚女子。他叫了一瓶女士香檳，讓她覺得他很有紳士風度。飯后喝咖啡的時候，他將開出的條件擺在了她面前。她一聽，認為對方很是慷慨。他告訴她，說自己每兩個星期要來巴黎開一次董事會。晚上吃飯老是孤零零的一個人，想女人就去找青樓女子，日子過得味如嚼蠟。他結(jié)了婚，有兩個孩子，但以他這種身份的人，過這種日子難以令人滿意。他們倆都認識的那個朋友把她的情況如實告訴了他，他覺得她是個識進退的女子。他已不再年輕，不愿跟不懂事的女孩子糾纏在一起。他怎么也算是個現(xiàn)代藝術(shù)的收藏家，而她和畫界聯(lián)系緊密，跟他有共同語言。接下來，他講了具體安排，說準備給她租套公寓，然后裝修一下，每月給她兩千法郎的零花錢。作為交換，他希望每兩個星期能和她共同度過一個良夜佳宵。蘇姍娜以前從未有過這許多錢供她私用。她飛快計算了一下，覺得這筆錢不僅夠她吃飯穿衣，過衣食無憂的日子，還可以供養(yǎng)女兒，另外能再積攢一些以備不時之需。不過，她還是猶豫了一下。她素來以“畫界人”自居，顯然還是覺得給一個生意人當情婦未免有些掉價。

“C'est à prendre ou à laisser，”he said.“You can take it or leave it.”
“Cest à prendre ou à laisser，”他說，“你可以接受，也可以不接受。”

He was not repulsive to her and the rosette of the Legion of Honour in his buttonhole proved that he was a man of distinction. She smiled.
她并不討厭他，而且看見了他紐扣孔里鑲嵌的玫瑰花狀的榮譽胸章，認定他是個有頭有臉的人，于是沖他嫣然一笑。

“Je prends，”she replied.“I'll take it.”
“Je prends，”她回答說，“我接受?！?/p>