Here you go.
給。
I just found the greatest thing online.
我剛在網(wǎng)上找到最棒的玩意了。
The ultrasound of the Kim and Kanye baby where someone photoshopped a "666" on its little baby butt?
金與坎耶小孩的超聲波照嗎,就是腹中嬰兒小屁股被改圖加上惡魔數(shù)字"666"的那張嗎?
Wait, this kid's half Kardashian. Its big baby butt.
等等,那娃有卡戴珊的基因。是大屁股被改圖才對。
Wow, that baby's already famous for doing nothing... Just like its mom.
哇,那孩子毛都不干就已經(jīng)出名了...跟他娘一模一樣啊。
No, what I found is a site where we can apply for a small business grant.
不,我是找到了一個我們可以申請小企業(yè)生意撥款的網(wǎng)站。
There's a couple of categories: women-owned business...
里面有幾個類別:比如女性專營企業(yè)...
No thanks. I've been to jail. I was already owned by a woman.
不必了。我去過監(jiān)獄。已經(jīng)"專屬"過某個女性了。
There's also a minority-owned category.
也有一類是少數(shù)民族擁有啊。
You don't know who your father is, and you do have an exotic look.
你也不知道你的生父是誰,你又有著異國風的外貌。
Any chance he could be native american?
你生父有沒有可能是印第安人呢?
Yes, in fact, I think his name was Chief Running Away.
沒錯,他的名字還叫做逃跑酋長呢。
Wait. Maybe we don't even need your father.
等等。你老爸這張牌都不見得需要用。
We are white, which according to the last presidential election, is the new minority.
我們是白人,根據(jù)上次總統(tǒng)大選時的數(shù)據(jù),白人現(xiàn)在算少數(shù)民族呢。
So now all we need is a letter of recommendation from someone who owns another start-up business.
我們只需要找到一個同樣開店的人來幫我們寫封推薦信就行了。
I was thinking of a recommendation from Candy Andy's Sweets and Treats.
我想找糖果店老板糖果安迪幫忙寫一封呢。
I've already written it, so he just has to sign it.
信我寫好了,他簽個名就行了。
Will you ask Andy? I can't, he's my ex.
你能代我問嗎?我不行,他是我前任。
And I'm saving up my favor for a booty call on a cold night.
而且我想把請他幫忙的額度留給寒冷夜晚找他打炮用。
I hate asking men for things.
我最討厭請男人幫忙了。
Favors, last names, to stop.
請他們幫忙,問他們姓啥,請他們"停下"。
Excuse me, could I get some more sweet'n low?
抱歉,能再給我?guī)装椭菃幔?/p>
Why don't you look in your purse? It's where I saw you put them.
你干嘛不從你自己包里拿?我看你偷拿了幾包放里面。
I'm so embarrassed.
真是太不好意思了。
Don't be. I wasn't when I stole them last night.
不必。我昨晚偷它們的時候就沒不好意思。
What did Andy say?
安迪怎么說?
He's gone. For lunch? Forever. The man is gone.
他不見了。暫離吃飯嗎?是永遠走人。他真的走了。