So she called you, right?
她打給你了對吧?
I saw her talking on the phone using lots of hand gestures.
我看到她打電話,還配了一堆手勢。
I figured it was about how bad the date is.
肯定是在說這約會糟透了吧。
Okay, I'm going to try and put this as politely as I can, but what the hell is wrong with you? Make a move.
我盡量用文明點的詞匯跟你說,但你他娘的是豬???對她下手啊。
Max, I really like her, but...
麥克斯,我真的很喜歡她,但...
What is the but?
但是怎樣?
But she's Caroline Channing.
她可是卡洛琳·錢寧啊。
And you're Andy something. So?
你也是安迪·啥啥不是嗎?
Yeah, I'm Andy something who owns a small candy store, and she was practically a princess.
我就只是開間小糖果店的安迪·啥啥,而她算得上是公主了。
Was. Was a princess. Now she has five pairs of underwear and hasn't done laundry in eight days.
那是以前,以前是公主?,F(xiàn)在她窮得只剩五套內(nèi)衣褲,但她八天沒洗衣服了。
Max, honestly, I mean, I use those stupid emojis to buy time to figure out what I wanted to say.
我老實說,我用表情符號回復她是拖延時間,想好我想對她說的話。
That's why emojis exist. So guys like me don't have to say, "I'm not good enough. I sell gum."
表情符號作用就是在此。像我這樣男人就不用親口說出,"我配不上你,我是個賣口香糖的"。
She's the same girl you met in your candy store.
她就是你在店里遇到的那個女孩。
No, she's not. That was just a regular, pretty Williamsburg girl.
不,她不是。當時她只是個普通的漂亮威廉斯堡女孩。
Now, she's refined, rich Caroline Channing.
現(xiàn)在她是文雅多金的卡洛琳·錢寧。
He thinks you're rich and refined. It's a real boner blocker. What?
她覺得你多金又文雅。害他不知如何下"鳥"。什么?
He found out who you were, and he's intimidated.
他知道了你的真實身份,他嚇著了。
You have to act cheap and unrefined. It's the only way.
你得表現(xiàn)的廉價又粗俗。沒別的招了。
Here we go. I also ordered you guys some nachos.
來吧。我還幫你們點了脆餅吃。
No jalapenos. I know that's the devil's garnish.
沒放墨西哥辣椒。我知道那是魔鬼的調(diào)味料。
Great, nachos. They're so low-rent like me.
太好了,玉米脆餅。跟我一樣廉價易得。
But first, I'm going to chug some draft beer like I always do.
但我現(xiàn)在要先跟平常一樣大口灌點生啤。
And now I'm gonna freak-dance. Slut, party of one.
現(xiàn)在我要去騷女"亂舞"了。騷貨即將光臨舞池。
Come on, Jacob. I'm going to tear that ass up. Y-y-you are?
來吧,雅各布,姐要好好寵幸你。真的嗎?
See? That's not special at all.
你看,她一點也不特別。
Oh, my God! Call the paramedics. I danced an Amish boy to death.
天?。】旖嗅t(yī)護人員啊。我讓阿米什男孩爽死了。