英語美文朗讀 第424期 Its up to you to choose which way you want to go

10 reasons to ignore what other people think of you. It is human nature to want to be liked and accepted by others. We accept the status quo for what it is, because everyone around us does. We tip-toe our way through life by doing things in order to please others. Eventually, our actions, appearances, and lives become molded by how we think other people perceive us. But the truth is, what others think about us can often adversely impact the choices we make and the things we do. This desire to conform to the wishes of others can seriously conflict with our ability to lead independent and rich lives.

 

給你10個(gè)理由，讓你不要在乎別人對(duì)你的看法。想讓別人欣賞和接納自己，這是人的本性。我們安于現(xiàn)狀，因?yàn)樯磉叺娜艘策@樣。為了讓別人喜歡我們，我們活得小心翼翼。最終，他人對(duì)我們的看法，塑造了我們的行為，我們的外貌，我們的生活。然而，其實(shí)，他人對(duì)我們的看法，往往會(huì)對(duì)我們的決定和我們做的事情產(chǎn)生負(fù)面影響。既想迎合他人，又想追求獨(dú)立幸福的生活，這兩者本來就是互相矛盾的。

 

Number 1 - Your life is your business. How many times have you pondered over questions like: How are these clothes going to make me look? What will my colleagues think if I speak out? Are those people talking shit behind my back? If I take this job, what will my friends and family think of me? Look, People are entitled to think whatever they want. Just as you are entitled to think whatever you want! What people think of you cannot change who you are or what you are worth, unless you allow them to. This is your life to live. At the end of the day, you are the only person who needs to approve of your own choices. Well, unless of course if you're married. That's a whole other topic!

第一，你的生活你做主。你是不是經(jīng)常在想，我穿這個(gè)衣服看起來怎樣？如果我說出自己的看法，同事們會(huì)怎么看我？那些人是不是在背后說我的壞話？如果我選擇了這份工作，朋友和家人會(huì)怎么看我？別人怎么想，是別人的自由。同理，你怎么想，是你的自由。只要你的立場堅(jiān)定，那么，別人對(duì)你的看法就無法改變你，無法改變你的價(jià)值。這是你的生活，畢竟，真正需要認(rèn)可你的選擇的人，只有你自己。但要是你結(jié)了婚，那就是另外一回事了。

 

Number 2 - They don't know what's best for you. It's important to recognize that another person's opinion is often based on what they would do. This alone is the problem. What is best for somebody else, may not be the best for you. Nobody will ever be as invested in your life as you. So only you know what is best for you, and that entails learning from your own choices. The only way you will ever truly learn is through making your own decisions and taking full responsibility for them. This way, if you do fail, at least you can learn from it wholeheartedly, as opposed to blaming somebody else.

第二，別人不知道什么才是對(duì)你最好的。很重要的一點(diǎn)是，你要明白，他人的想法，來源于他們的經(jīng)驗(yàn)，這本身就是個(gè)問題，因?yàn)閷?duì)別人而言最好的東西，對(duì)你而言不一定就是最好的。你為你的人生付出了最多的努力，所以你才知道什么是對(duì)你最好的，這就意味著你要從自己的選擇中吸取經(jīng)驗(yàn)。你成長的唯一途徑，就是自己做決定，并為這些決定負(fù)責(zé)。這樣，就算你失敗了，起碼你能真正從失敗中學(xué)到經(jīng)驗(yàn)，而不是去怪罪別人。

 

Number 3 - People's thoughts change. We all have an internal story that influences how we treat other people and what we think at any given moment. But, our thoughts, ideas and views change on a regular basis! This means, even if somebody does think badly of you at the moment, there is a good chance they will think differently in the near future. So basically, people's thoughts don't mean shit! And that's a pretty darn good reason to stop caring about what other people think!

第三，人們的想法會(huì)改變。我們?nèi)绾螌?duì)待他人，我們有什么想法，這與我們過往的經(jīng)歷有關(guān)。但是，我們的想法經(jīng)常會(huì)改變。這意味著，如果某個(gè)人不太喜歡你，很有可能他以后會(huì)改變主意。所以，別人的想法根本不重要，你根本不需要在乎別人怎么想。

 

Number 4 - You will be much happier. You'll find that when you start focusing on your own needs, you'll be spending more time doing things that make you happy. This self-awareness will make you a more rounded individual. It will allow you to better manage your time and give you space to have fun. As a result, you will actually improve the way that people perceive you – and this of course will make you even happier.

第四，你會(huì)更加快樂。當(dāng)你開始專注于自己的需求時(shí)，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，你會(huì)做更多可以讓自己開心的事情，這種自我意識(shí)讓你變得更成熟，讓你合理安排自己的實(shí)踐，讓你能夠適當(dāng)放松娛樂。因此，別人對(duì)你的看法也會(huì)變得更積極，這會(huì)讓你更加快樂。

 

Number 5 - Your relationships will improve. Try putting yourself first, in more situations. This way, in relationships, you will have a much stronger base to explain what you will and won't do. The ability to set boundaries effectively will give you the ability to say no - and mean it. Instead of taking on every request, you'll only do the things that make you happy and this will give you more energy and a better reputation for being reliable. These things will make your relationships with other people much healthier in the long run.

第五，你的人際關(guān)系會(huì)改善。多嘗試把自己放在第一位，這樣，在人際關(guān)系中，你會(huì)有更多主動(dòng)權(quán)，你想做或不想做什么事，都是合理的。劃清邊界的能力會(huì)讓你能夠拒絕他人，而且說到做到。與其答應(yīng)別人所有的請(qǐng)求，還不如只做那些能讓你開心的事，這樣你會(huì)得到更多的能量，也會(huì)得到別人的稱贊，因?yàn)樗麄冇X得你很靠譜。從長遠(yuǎn)來看，這些事情會(huì)讓你的人際關(guān)系變得更健康。

 

Number 6 - It's good for your career. Think about this for a second. Who are the people who climb the management and leadership ladders at work? It's usually those who are more self-serving. When someone puts their own needs first, they are more likely to set goals and to strive to meet those goals. They're also less likely to be apologetic about their drive, and as a result, they are much more likely to seek a promotion and ask for a raise. While leaders and managers have to take care of the people around them, they also have to take care of themselves. And if you can't take care of yourself, it's unlikely you'll be very good at taking care of others.

第六，這對(duì)你的事業(yè)有好處。想一下，做管理的，當(dāng)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的，都是哪些人？通常就是那些懂得為自己服務(wù)的人。只要人們把自己的需求放在第一位，他們就更有可能定下目標(biāo)，并朝著目標(biāo)努力。他們有雄心壯志，而且不會(huì)因此感到不好意思。因此，他們更有可能升職，或者要求加薪。領(lǐng)導(dǎo)和管理者需要關(guān)注他們身邊的人，同時(shí)他們也需要照顧自己的需求。如果你不懂照顧自己的需求，那么你也無法關(guān)注到身邊的人。

 

Number 7 - Others don't care as much as you think. We go through our days thinking about how other people might be judging us. But the truth is, those people are thinking the exact same thing. In fact, people generally don't think outside themselves a great deal of time. The average person filters their world through their ego. We simply think about most things in terms of me or mine. This means that, unless who you are or what you have done directly affects another person or their life, they are unlikely to spend much time thinking about you at all.

第七，你以為別人很在乎你，其實(shí)不然。每一天，我們都在想，別人覺得我怎么樣？然而，其實(shí)，他們和你一樣在糾結(jié)這個(gè)問題。事實(shí)上，多數(shù)情況下，人們心中想的只有他們自己。普通人的世界，是以自我為中心的。無論遇到什么事情，我們都是從自己的角度出發(fā)去考慮。這就意味著，除非你或者你做的事情對(duì)他人有影響，否則別人根本不會(huì)想起你。

 

Number 8 - You'll never please everyone. You cannot please all of the people, all of the time. It is impossible to live up to everyone's expectations, so there's really no point in burning yourself out trying to do so. It's better to be loved by a few people that you care about, than to be liked by everyone. These people include, family, friends and your spouse, basically the people who love you for who you are, and the people who will be there for you during your worst times. Focus on these people, because they're the people that matter the most.

第八，你不可能讓所有人都滿意。你不可能總是讓所有人都滿意，不可能總是滿足所有人的期待，所以你沒有必要竭盡全力去迎合別人。你在乎的人愛你，這比讓所有人都喜歡你更重要。你在乎的人，包括你的家人，朋友，愛人，那些愛你的人，那些在你人生失意時(shí)還能伴你左右的人。把你的注意力放在這些人身上，因?yàn)樗麄儾攀亲钪匾摹?/p>

 

Number 9 - You reap what you sow. Worrying too much about what other people think can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, because the way we think starts to become the way we behave. And the behavior we use in an attempt to please others, can actually cause the opposing effect! This means that if you're a push-over, then you're going to be attracting others in your life who are also push-overs. And vice versa. Being a people-pleaser is not going to stop you from being judged. Most people don't like push-overs, but, at the same time, they don't like arrogant assholes either. In the end, it is you who faces the consequences of the things you do. Both good and bad.

第九，種瓜得瓜，種豆得豆。總是太在乎別人對(duì)你的看法，會(huì)讓你真的為了迎合他人而努力，因?yàn)?，我們?cè)趺聪耄瑳Q定了我們?cè)趺醋?。那些為了取悅他人而做的事情，其?shí)可能會(huì)適得其反。這就意味著，如果你是個(gè)軟柿子，那么你也會(huì)吸引軟柿子，反之亦然。討好別人是沒用的，別人該怎么想還是怎么想。大多數(shù)人不喜歡軟柿子，但是，同時(shí)，他們也不喜歡狂妄自大的人。畢竟，無論結(jié)果是好事壞，你都要面對(duì)。

 

Number 10 - Life is simply too short. You only have one life to live, so why would you spend it worrying about other people's opinions? Do whatever you want, be whoever you want. Live your life without worrying about other people's thoughts and opinions, and you will live your life to the fullest. Remember, you are allowed to make decisions that are in the interest of your life, even when others don't approve. You really can make a conscious effort to stop giving a damn. And once you give up catering to other people's opinion and thoughts, you will find out who you truly are. The world is already full of people who obey the status quo. But the people who don't give a crap are the ones that change the world.

第十，生命很短。你只活這么一次，為什么你要在乎別人的看法？做你想做的事，成為你想成為的人。好好經(jīng)營自己的生活，不要在意別人的看法，你才能盡情地享受自己的生活。記住，從自己的利益出發(fā)，做自己的決定，這是你的自由，別人反對(duì)你也沒用。努力讓自己做到不在乎別人的看法，這是你能做到的。一旦你停止迎合別人的想法，你就會(huì)找到真實(shí)的自己。這個(gè)世界上，有很多安于現(xiàn)狀的人。然而，只有那些心無旁騖的人，才能改變世界。

 

Now it's up to you to choose which way you want to go!

想走哪條路？你自己決定吧！