You, Dead, Are So Much Better Than Anyone Else Alive
D' Arline,
親愛的阿琳,
I adore you, sweetheart.
我愛你,親愛的。
I know how much you like to hear that
我知道你多喜歡聽到這句話。
but I don't only write it because you like it
但我寫這句話不是因為你喜歡,
I write it because it makes me warm all over inside to write it to you.
而是因為它讓我全身暖暖的。
It is such a terribly long time since I last wrote to you
距我上次給你寫信已經(jīng)過去了很久,
almost two years but I know you'll excuse me
快兩年了,但我知道你會原諒我的。
because you understand how I am, stubborn and realistic; and I thought there was no sense to writing.
因為你了解我是多么的固執(zhí)和現(xiàn)實,所以我覺得寫信完全沒有意義。
But now I know my darling wife that it is right to do so what I have delayed in doing,
但現(xiàn)在我明白了,我一直遲遲不做的事情其實才是正確的事,
and that I have done so much in the past.
而且在過去我已經(jīng)做了很多。
I want to tell you that I love you.
我想告訴你我愛你。
I want to love you. I always will love you.
我想愛你。我一直愛你。
I find it hard to understand in my mind what it means to love you after you are dead
我很難理解在你死后愛你有何意義,
but I still want to comfort and take care of you
但我仍想安撫你,照顧你,
and I want you to love me and care for me.
我也想讓你愛我,照顧我。
I want to have problems to discuss with you
我想和你討論問題,
I want to do little projects with you.
我想和你一起做課題。
I never thought until just now that we can do that.
直到現(xiàn)在我才想到我們可以做這些,
What should we do.
我們本該一起做的。
We started to learn to make clothes together
我們開始一起學(xué)做衣服,
or learn Chinese—or getting a movie projector.
學(xué)漢語,或者去買個電影放映機。
Can't I do something now?
現(xiàn)在我自己不能做嗎?
No. I am alone without you
不能,沒有你我孤身一人。
and you were the “idea-woman” and general instigator of all our wild adventures.
你是出點子的那個人,是我們所有瘋狂冒險的發(fā)起者。
When you were sick you worried because you could not give me something that you wanted to and thought I needed.
你生病時,你很擔(dān)心你不能給我我想要的,因為你覺得我需要。
You needn't have worried.
你不必擔(dān)心。
Just as I told you then there was no real need because I loved you in so many ways so much.
正如我曾經(jīng)告訴過你,我沒有什么需要,因為我愛你的方式有很多種。
And now it is clearly even more true—you can give me nothing now yet I love you so that you stand in my way of loving anyone else
現(xiàn)在看來這再正確不過了,現(xiàn)在你無法給予我什么,但我依然愛你,愛到我無法再愛別人。
but I want you to stand there.
我想讓你站在這里。
You, dead, are so much better than anyone else alive.
雖然你已死去,卻強于任何活著的人。
I know you will assure me that I am foolish and that you want me to have full happiness and don't want to be in my way.
你肯定會認為我很愚蠢,你希望我獲得幸福,不想妨礙我。
I'll bet you are surprised that I don't even have a girlfriend (except you, sweetheart) after two years.
我打賭你會很驚訝兩年后我還沒有女朋友(除了你,親愛的)。
But you can't help it, darling, nor can I
但你控制不了,親愛的,我也不能。
I don't understand it, for I have met many girls and very nice ones and I don't want to remain alone
我不懂,我遇到過很多女孩,非常好的女孩,我也不想單身。
but in two or three meetings they all seem ashes.
但兩三次見面后,卻發(fā)現(xiàn)她們都是虛有其表。
You only are left to me. You are real.
我只有你。你是真實的。
My darling wife, I do adore you.
我親愛的妻子,我愛你。
I love my wife. My wife is dead.
我愛我的妻子,我的妻子去世了。
Rich.
理查
PS Please excuse my not mailing this—but I don't know your new address.
另外,請原諒這封信無法寄出,因為我不知道你的新地址。