生活大爆炸第七季:第19集:單身狗煉成記(上)
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Boy, do I have to urinate.
天，真憋死我了
If only there were a solution to that.
是啊，要是有辦法解決就好了
Seriously. I feel like I've got a fish tank in my pelvis.
真的，我覺(jué)得我骨盆里裝了個(gè)魚(yú)缸
So go to the bathroom.
那就去廁所啊
I can't. Why not?
我不能去啊。為什么啊?
Because I'm trying to decide between getting an Xbox One or a PS4.
因?yàn)槲艺赬box One和PS4之間做痛苦的抉擇
Oh, "pee." Why'd I say that?
噢，P(音同尿尿)，我為啥要提到這個(gè)詞!
Forgive me for asking a stupid question, but why are you being stupid?
容我問(wèn)個(gè)傻叉的問(wèn)題，你為什么這么傻叉?
I'm not being stupid.
我才沒(méi)有
I'm employing the work of Dutch researcher, Mirjam Tuk, who found that people with full bladders make better decisions.
我采用了荷蘭學(xué)者圖克的研究成果，他發(fā)現(xiàn)人在膀胱處于飽和狀態(tài)的情況下會(huì)做出更好的決定
Why did I pee before I decided to move in here?
我在決定搬來(lái)前為什么要撒尿呢?
Hi! Hey. Oh, how'd the audition go?
嗨!嗨。試鏡怎么樣?
I killed it. I was even able to cry real tears right on the spot.
拿下了，我都能現(xiàn)場(chǎng)哭出眼淚來(lái)了
Oh, that's great. I know.
好厲害， 我知道
Next time I get pulled over for a speeding ticket, here come the waterworks.
下次我再因?yàn)槌俦婚_(kāi)罰單，我就瞬間淚崩了!
Here come the waterworks!
我要尿崩了!
Aren't you gonna ask?
你沒(méi)什么要問(wèn)的?
What is this, my first day?
我又不是新來(lái)的
Can I get your opinion on something that happened at work today?
我今天工作遇到點(diǎn)事，你們給評(píng)評(píng)?
Of course. Sure.
當(dāng)然的， 說(shuō)吧
Okay, well, I did something that will either make me look like a lovable goof or a horrible monster damned to spend eternity in hell.
好吧，我做了件事，有可能讓我顯得呆萌呆萌的，或者是一個(gè)打入地獄永世不得翻身的惡魔
I'm sure it's lovable. I'm gonna go with monster. What do you got?
肯定是呆萌。我說(shuō)是惡魔，你做了什么?
Well, there's this lady in our office who's retiring, and they were passing around one of those big cards for us to sign... Okay.
我們辦公室有一位要退休的女士，大家在傳一張大卡片給我們簽名留念。懂
But no one told me she was in a horrible car accident over the weekend
但是都沒(méi)人告訴我她周末出了一場(chǎng)車(chē)禍
and what I was signing was not a retirement card but was actually a "get well" card.
所以我簽的不是退休賀卡而是"早日康復(fù)"卡
I'm liking my odds here.
我覺(jué)得我要猜對(duì)了
So on the card, in the hospital, next to the woman who's clinging to life are the words,
所以卡片到了醫(yī)院，放在那位生命垂危的女士身邊，寫(xiě)的是
"Hey, Vivian. You deserve this" "And at least with you gone," "no one will steal my yogurt out of the fridge." No!
"嗨，維維安，這是你應(yīng)得的"，"至少你離開(kāi)以后"，"沒(méi)人會(huì)從冰箱偷我的酸奶了"。不是吧!
"LOL. Smiley face." Oh, my gosh.
"哈哈哈哈，笑臉"我的天哪
"P.S. Good luck wherever you wind up."
不管你最后去哪，祝你好運(yùn)"
Why didn't I put money on this?
我怎么沒(méi)下賭注呢!
Hey, that's my agent. If I got the part, it's still the second best thing I've heard all day. Hello?
我的經(jīng)紀(jì)人，即使我拿到這個(gè)角色，也只能算是今天聽(tīng)到的第二好的消息了，你好?
Am I a terrible person?
我是不是個(gè)壞人啊?
No. No, it was a mistake.
不是啦，只是個(gè)誤會(huì)
Am I a terrible person that it crossed my mind that she might die and never see the card?
如果我曾經(jīng)想過(guò)，她有可能掛了，就看不到卡片了，那我是不是個(gè)壞人啊?
Now I think you're flirting with the line.
現(xiàn)在我覺(jué)得你離變成壞人不遠(yuǎn)了
Good news? No, I didn't get it. I'm so sorry.
好消息?沒(méi)，沒(méi)拿到角色。太抱歉了
You'll get offered something soon.
不久就會(huì)有新角色的
I kind of did. The part in that awful horror movie I passed on came back around.
差不多吧，那個(gè)恐怖爛片的角色，我拒絕了的那個(gè)，又回來(lái)了
Apparently, it's mine if I want it.
只要我想，那個(gè)角色就是我的
Are you gonna take it?
你準(zhǔn)備接嗎?
I don't know what to do.
我不知道該怎么辦
Maybe you'll get hit by a car and die. LOL, right?
說(shuō)不定你也會(huì)被車(chē)撞死呢。挺好笑的，對(duì)吧?
Hey. Emily, right? Yeah... I-I don't know if you remember me... From the dating Web site.
你好。你是艾米麗吧?是呀，不知道你還記得我不，相親網(wǎng)站認(rèn)識(shí)的
Your friend e-mailed me because you were afraid to, then you tracked me down and acted like a lunatic?
你朋友發(fā)郵件聯(lián)系我，因?yàn)槟阕约耗懽硬粔?，然后瘋瘋癲癲，一路跟蹤我的那人?
Yes, Rajesh Koothrappali.
是呀，就是我拉杰什·庫(kù)斯拉帕里
Look, uh, I just... I wanted to say I'm sorry.
其實(shí)我...我本來(lái)想道歉的
Okay? You were, like, the coolest person I ever found online, and I got really nervous and I-I just blew it.
我算是我從網(wǎng)上認(rèn)識(shí)的最酷的女生，我太緊張了，搞砸了
Uh, don't worry about it.
別放心上
And if it makes you feel any better, you're not the weirdest guy I've met off the Internet.
如果說(shuō)出來(lái)你會(huì)好受點(diǎn)的話，你還不算是我在網(wǎng)上認(rèn)識(shí)的最奇怪的人
Well, give me a chance... you don't even know me.
給我個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)嘛，搞不好我就是呢
All right, here's your chance. Wha... Really? Thank you.
好吧，給你機(jī)會(huì)。真的?謝謝
Fate has given me a rare second chance, and I swear to Vishnu I'm not gonna blow it.
命運(yùn)很少給我第二次機(jī)會(huì)的，我對(duì)毗濕奴發(fā)誓，絕不浪費(fèi)(印度教三大神之一)
Or normal words followed by a charming smile.
或者，我應(yīng)該說(shuō)句人話，再來(lái)個(gè)迷人的微笑
So, first there was PlayStation... aka PS1... then PS2, PS3 and now PS4. And that makes sense.
首先是第一代PlayStation，也就是PS1，然后出了PS2，PS3，現(xiàn)在是PS4這才合理啊
You'd think after Xbox, there'd be Xbox 2.
你以為Xbox后面，應(yīng)該是Xbox 2吧
But no, next came Xbox 360.
錯(cuò)，結(jié)果出了個(gè)Xbox 360
Hmm? And now, after 360, comes Xbox One.
現(xiàn)在呢，360后面又出了個(gè)Xbox One
Why "One"?
為什么是"一"?
Maybe that's how many seconds of thought they put into naming it.
大概是他們花幾秒鐘想著名字就拿這數(shù)字命名
Can you get the butter, please?
幫我拿下黃油行不?
You know, however, with the Xbox One, I can control my entire entertainment system using voice commands.
但是，有了Xbox One，我就可以通過(guò)語(yǔ)音命令來(lái)控制整個(gè)游戲機(jī)
Up until now, I've had to use Leonard.
直到現(xiàn)在，我只能通過(guò)控制萊納德來(lái)控制游戲機(jī)
Then get the other one. Pass the butter. Get... Hang on.
再拿一塊，這塊給我，等下
I don't feel like you're taking this dilemma seriously.
我覺(jué)得你沒(méi)在認(rèn)真對(duì)待我的選擇問(wèn)題
Fine, Sheldon. You have my undivided attention.
好，謝爾頓，我現(xiàn)在心無(wú)旁騖聽(tīng)你說(shuō)
Okay, now, the PS4 is more angular and sleek-looking. No way.
你看，PS4有棱有角，線條硬朗。不是吧
It's true. But the larger size of the Xbox One may keep it from overheating.
真的，但是Xbox One外形尺寸更大，不易過(guò)熱
Well, you wouldn't want your gaming system to overheat.
你才不會(huì)想讓游戲機(jī)過(guò)熱啊
No, see? Well, you absolutely would not.
對(duì)呀，絕對(duì)不想啊
And furthermore, the Xbox One now comes with a Kinect included. Included?! Yes! Not sold separately.
而且，Xbox One還帶有Kinect體感控制器。帶Kinect?!是啊!不單獨(dú)出售
Although... the PS4 uses cool new GDDR5 RAM, while the Xbox One is still using the conventional DDR3 memory.
但是...PS4采用了高端的GDDR5 RAM，而Xbox One則仍采用傳統(tǒng)的DDR3內(nèi)存
Why would they still be using DDR3?
為什么還用DDR3啊?
Are they nuts?!
他們瘋了嘛?!
See? That's what I thought. But then they go and throw in an eSRAM buffer.
就是啊，我就是這么想的，但是他們又加進(jìn)了eSRAM緩沖器
Whoa, whoa. Wait a second. Who's "they"? Xbox.
等下，等下，打斷一下，哪個(gè)"他們"?Xbox呀
You're kidding! No, I am not!
你沒(méi)開(kāi)玩笑吧?! 沒(méi)啊!
And this eSRAM buffer should totally bridge the 100-gigabit-per-second bandwidth gap between the two RAM types.
eSRAM完全可以彌補(bǔ)這兩類(lèi)RAM間的速度差距了
This is a nightmare. How will you ever make a decision? You see? I don't know!
這真是個(gè)噩夢(mèng)阿，還能不能讓人愉快地做決定了?就是啊，我怎么選啊!
What should I do? Please pass the butter!
我該怎么辦?黃油給我遞過(guò)來(lái)!
Okay, it's not me, right? This script is terrible. Yeah.
不是只有我這么覺(jué)得對(duì)吧?劇本太爛了。是呀
I had higher hopes for a movie called Serial Ape-ist 2: Monkey See, Monkey Kill.
我對(duì)這部《連環(huán)殺人猩:猴見(jiàn)猴殺》電影期望過(guò)高
You know, it's still possible for you to be good in a bad movie. Okay.
但是在一部爛片里，你還是有機(jī)會(huì)演出風(fēng)格啊。好吧
"Sometimes I feel like I can control the killer gorilla instinct inside of me,
"有時(shí)候我覺(jué)得我可以控制身體里的那個(gè)殺人猩"
"but then I see these bananas and I... just want to eat them and then kill people."
"但我一看到香蕉，我就...""就想大吃香蕉，大開(kāi)殺戒"
What am I gonna do? Well, for starters, I wouldn't eat the bananas.
我該怎么辦?首先，要是我，我就不會(huì)吃香蕉
Come on! This is serious. Uh, uh, does it at least pay well?
別扯了，人家很認(rèn)真的，可是至少這活賺得挺多吧
Less than I was making at The Cheesecake Factory.
還沒(méi)我在芝士工廠賺得多
What does your agent think?
你的經(jīng)紀(jì)人有什么想法?
She's thinking of taking a job at The Cheesecake Factory.
她正考慮去芝士工廠工作
You know what, why don't you just do it?
聽(tīng)我說(shuō)，干脆你就甩開(kāi)膀子干吧
You'll go have fun for a few weeks, make some money and who knows what it might lead to?
拍戲的過(guò)程會(huì)很有趣，順便賺點(diǎn)小錢(qián)，沒(méi)準(zhǔn)接下來(lái)會(huì)有好事發(fā)生呢
Okay, look, here, page 58.
行，咱先來(lái)看看58頁(yè)的劇情
I oil-wrestle an orangutan in a bikini.
我穿著比基尼，身上涂滿油跟一只猩猩摔跤
Just to clarify, which one of you is wearing the bikini? Both of us.
順便問(wèn)下，你們倆是誰(shuí)要穿比基尼?我們倆都穿
So it's a family film.
這么說(shuō)這還是個(gè)家庭片
Thank you again for dinner.
再次感謝你的晚餐
You're welcome.
不客氣
Good night. Uh, it's date night.
晚安，今晚是約會(huì)之夜
Aren't you, uh, forgetting something? Oh, of course.
你是不是忘了要做點(diǎn)什么?哦，想起來(lái)了
Did I mention the PS4 controllers light up?
我跟你講過(guò)PS4的手柄是可以發(fā)光的嗎?
No. Well, they do.
沒(méi)有。它們能發(fā)光呢
And then after coffee, we went for a walk and she told me she always thought people from India were exotic and mysterious.
喝完咖啡后，我們又散了會(huì)步，她說(shuō)她一直認(rèn)為印度人很異國(guó)風(fēng)情很神秘
So, with my mouth, I said, "We're just like anybody else," but with my eyes, I said, "Straight up, Red, hop on my flying carpet."
我嘴上回答她"其實(shí)我們跟大家沒(méi)什么差別"，但是我的眼神卻在傳達(dá)，"來(lái)吧小妞，跳上我的阿三飛毯"
So, you gonna see her again?
這么說(shuō)你們還會(huì)繼續(xù)約會(huì)?
Yeah, we have plans this weekend.
是呀，這周末我們有約
And if it's a clear night, I'm gonna lay some romantic astronomy on her.
要是天好的話，我還要對(duì)她搞幾招浪漫的天文學(xué)
Okay, like what? Show me.
怎么個(gè)搞法，給姐亮一亮
I can't do that to Leonard.
不行，這樣會(huì)對(duì)不起萊納德
This is some powerful panty-dropping stuff.
這些可都是讓妹子入懷的大招啊
You have my blessing. Go for it. Okay.
哥祝你成功，整一個(gè)。好吧
Penny, two of the brightest stars in the night sky are Altair and Vega.
佩妮，夜空中最亮的兩顆星是牛郎星和織女星
And it is said they were deeply in love but forever separated by the celestial river of the Milky Way.
據(jù)說(shuō)他們深深?lèi)?ài)著彼此卻被銀河阻擋，永遠(yuǎn)兩地分居，相隔天涯
Oh, that's sad. It is.
太悲傷了，沒(méi)錯(cuò)
But once a year, on the seventh day of the seventh month,
但是，一年一次，在七月七日這天
Vega cries so hard that all the magpies in the world fly up and create a bridge with their wings
織女的哭聲會(huì)打動(dòng)喜鵲，所有的喜鵲都會(huì)飛上天，用翅膀組成一座橋
so the two lovers can be together for a single night of passion. Wow. Okay, that's enough.
讓這一對(duì)戀人相見(jiàn)，讓他們盡享一夜之歡。哇。喂，你夠了
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