社交：為什么你的朋友那么少

1. You Complain A Lot

你總是抱怨

If you’re constantly complaining about your job, lack of money, or unfair life, people won’t care to spend a lot of time with you. Complaining gets old fast. Try to develop a more positive attitude and look for more interesting topics to discuss rather than what’s going wrong in your life.

如果你一直喋喋不休地抱怨工作，抱怨錢(qián)少，或是抱怨生命的不公，那旁人就會(huì)不屑花費(fèi)過(guò)多的時(shí)間在你身上。再者，抱怨讓人老得快。所以要培養(yǎng)一份更樂(lè)觀的態(tài)度，并用更風(fēng)趣的話題來(lái)代替你的碎碎念。

2. You Ditch Your Friends When You’re in a Relationship

重色輕友

If you’re guilty of ditching your friends every time you begin dating someone new, it’s likely your friends won’t sit around and wait to hear your breakup story. Instead, they’ll move on without you. It’s important to find a balance between spending time with your pals and your latest romantic interest.

每當(dāng)開(kāi)始約會(huì)新的對(duì)象時(shí)，若你很愧疚地忽視朋友，那你的朋友可能就不會(huì)在你分手時(shí)陪伴左右，聽(tīng)你訴苦。并且，在他們的人生藍(lán)圖里你將不復(fù)存在。所以，在老友和新歡之間找到時(shí)間的平衡至關(guān)重要。

3. You’re Selfish

你很自私

Consider whether or not being selfish contributes to the fact that you don’t have friends. Friendship requires you to give, even when you don’t feel like it. If you’re only willing to do what you want, when you want it, it’s unlikely that your friends will tolerate it for very long.

你對(duì)于是否自私的態(tài)度直接影響著你有無(wú)朋友。友情需要付出，即便有時(shí)你不怎么愿意。若你只是隨心所欲地行事，關(guān)于你的任性，朋友們可能不會(huì)長(zhǎng)時(shí)間忍受下去。

4. You Don’t Care About Your Friends

你不關(guān)心朋友

If you don’t care what’s happening in your friends’ lives, your friends might not keep you around. It’s important to show interest in how your friends are doing. People will likely grow insulted if you don’t care to ask about them or you don’t care about their feelings.

如果你都不關(guān)心朋友的近況，那他們可能就會(huì)與你漸行漸遠(yuǎn)。向友人展現(xiàn)出你對(duì)他們熱衷的關(guān)注不可或缺。若你不詢問(wèn)他們的情況，或不在乎他們的感受，對(duì)方極有可能會(huì)感到屈辱。

5. You Keep Score

計(jì)較友情的公平

Keeping score has no place in true friendship. If you try to keep score about whose turn it is to choose where you’re going to dinner or whose turn it is to call who, you will likely turn your friends away. Be willing to give to the relationship, rather than focus on trying to keep everything fair.

真摯的友誼容不下所謂的公平。如果你老是糾結(jié)下回輪到誰(shuí)來(lái)決定聚餐點(diǎn)，或老是猶豫下回該給誰(shuí)打電話，那你可能就會(huì)失去你的朋友。友誼是自然而然的關(guān)系，而非斤斤計(jì)較每件事情的公平性。

6. You Get Jealous

你愛(ài)嫉妒

If you feel jealous when your friend buys a new car, gets a promotion at work, or enters into a new relationship, it’s likely going to lead to problems. It’s important to celebrate with your friends and feel happy for them when they succeed. If you’re always feeling jealous, your attitude will likely shine through, even if you try to hide it.

當(dāng)朋友買(mǎi)新車(chē)、升職、發(fā)展新戀情時(shí)，你若心生妒意，問(wèn)題就會(huì)隨之而來(lái)。當(dāng)對(duì)方成功時(shí)，要與之同慶，與之同樂(lè)，這點(diǎn)很重要。可若你總是嫉妒他人，久而久之那份妒意就會(huì)暴露出來(lái)，不管你偽裝得多么努力。

7. You Expect Too Much From Friends

你從朋友身上期許太多

If you expect your friends to always be available or always meet your needs, you’ll be disappointed. Your friends will hurt your feelings sometimes and will likely disappoint you from time to time. But that doesn’t meant they aren’t good people or that you shouldn’t remain friends with them. Practice forgiveness when your feelings get

如果你期望朋友總是時(shí)刻待命或滿足你的需求，那將會(huì)讓你失望。因?yàn)榕笥延袝r(shí)會(huì)傷害到你的感情，也可能會(huì)時(shí)不時(shí)地令你失望。但那并不表示對(duì)方不好或你誤交損友。當(dāng)情感受到傷害時(shí)，要學(xué)會(huì)原諒。

8. You Gossip

你太八卦

If you gossip non-stop, people will recognize that you likely talk about them as well. Don’t talk negatively about other people or spread rumors. Instead, show that you can be trusted to respect people’s privacy.

如果你沒(méi)完沒(méi)了地八卦，別人就會(huì)覺(jué)得你可能會(huì)以同樣的方式對(duì)待他們。所以不要去講他人的壞事，也不要去傳播流言。相反，你要表現(xiàn)出你是個(gè)尊重他人隱私，值得他人信賴(lài)的人。

9. You Bully Your Friends

你太霸道

Bullying doesn’t end in high school for many people. If you’re guilty of bossing your friends around or making demands, it’s likely that people won’t like you. It’s okay to be assertive with people, but make sure you don’t cross the line into behaving aggressively. Respect other people’s rights and work on developing healthy relationships.

好多人高中畢業(yè)后還一直霸道著。如果你對(duì)朋友呼來(lái)喝去，或隨意差遣，那可能別人就不太待見(jiàn)你。特立獨(dú)行沒(méi)有錯(cuò)，但一定要把握那個(gè)度，不要越線變得咄咄逼人。要尊重他人的人權(quán)，致力發(fā)展健康的友情。

10. You Don’t Get Out Enough

你很宅

Of course, there is also a good chance that not having friends isn’t related to a specific character flaw. Instead, it might just be because you haven’t had the opportunity to meet people whose company you enjoy. If that’s the case, create opportunities to meet other people based on your interests and activities and be willing to take a chance on striking up a conversation with a stranger. It just might turn into a lifelong friendship.

當(dāng)然，朋友少也可能會(huì)歸咎于好的因素，而非特別的人格缺陷。也許，那只是因?yàn)槟銢](méi)有足夠的機(jī)會(huì)遇見(jiàn)那個(gè)志同道合的友人。如果真是這樣，那就要制造相遇的機(jī)會(huì)。并要根據(jù)你的喜好，挑選你愛(ài)的活動(dòng)，做足跟一個(gè)陌生人侃侃而談的準(zhǔn)備。這種不期而遇興許就成了地久天長(zhǎng)的友誼。