Looks – It seems totally superficial, but there is going to be a time when you have to be honest: do you find this guy attractive? Can you see yourself living with him for the rest of your life? If you were just tolerating him while you were dating, you may want to get serious about what you really want before you take the next step. When it comes down to things that he can change—if this guy is not meeting your standards of personal hygiene, healthy weight, decent dress—you may want to have a conversation with him about your concerns before you decide it’s time for a commitment.
Shared Beliefs – It’s more than just your religious backgrounds. Do the two of you have the same ideas about life, how to live, financial goals and philosophies, and feelings about humanity. If your guy has beliefs that you just can’t get behind, there’s a serious problem with your relationship. It may be okay now, but eventually you won’t be able to feel comfortable living with someone who doesn’t share the same basic outlook on life as you. There’s always a chance that you could change, but that’s a big risk to take. If the two of you do share all of the same ideas about the world, go for it!
Emotional Maturity – Not everyone is on the same level of emotional maturity. The interpersonal skills that you have that help you deal with getting hurt or feeling happy are developed from childhood: both you and your boyfriend have emotional intelligences that probably aren’t going to change at this point. If you fight a lot it could mean one or both of you are not very emotionally mature. If it bothers you that he is not empathic, feeling, able to compromise, or control his temper you need to think twice before you decide you want to spend a lifetime with someone who is emotionally stunted.
Intelligence – This is going to be different for everyone, depending on how judgmental you are. Sometimes women date dumb guys and can still be perfectly happy. Sometimes they can’t stand how stupid he is. Let’s even consider that he might be the one with the brains in the relationship. If the difference between your SAT scores is something that makes either of you unhappy, then it’s probably not a good idea to move forward with him. If the two of you are happy with who you are, whether you can go toe-to-toe on Sunday crossword, or if you have to remind him of his family member’s names, you may have found the one.
每當(dāng)想起男友或者當(dāng)他走進(jìn)房門(mén)的時(shí)候,你可能會(huì)有特別的感覺(jué),不過(guò)這意味著你找到了Mr.right?對(duì)此你又有多少把握呢?更重要的是,你怎知道你們就是很合適的一對(duì)呢?這里有四種標(biāo)志幫你判斷:他是否就是你的真愛(ài)?
1.外表
看外表似乎極其膚淺,但也該是誠(chéng)實(shí)面對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)的時(shí)候了。你覺(jué)得這個(gè)男人的外表吸引你嗎?你會(huì)幻想兩個(gè)人在一起的未來(lái)生活嗎?如果和他約會(huì)的時(shí)候還需要容忍的話(huà),那么在你們進(jìn)入下一個(gè)階段之前,要認(rèn)真思考一下究竟什么才是你真正想要的。細(xì)數(shù)一下他在哪些方面需要改變。如果這個(gè)男人在衛(wèi)生、體重以及著裝方面沒(méi)有符合你的理想標(biāo)準(zhǔn),那么在你決定兩個(gè)人廝守一生之前,可能需要就這些問(wèn)題和他談一談了。
2.信仰
這不僅關(guān)乎你們的宗教信仰。你們對(duì)于生活、生活方式、經(jīng)濟(jì)目標(biāo)以及處事態(tài)度和人性的感知方面看法一致嗎?如果你男友的思想觀念讓你無(wú)法理解,你們的關(guān)系可能會(huì)面臨比較嚴(yán)峻的問(wèn)題。目前來(lái)說(shuō)你可能覺(jué)得一切還好,但是有朝一日你會(huì)無(wú)法忍受一個(gè)和一個(gè)與你沒(méi)有共同人生觀的人生活在一起的。還有改變的機(jī)會(huì),但是風(fēng)險(xiǎn)很大。但是如果你們的世界觀出奇地一致,那么努力爭(zhēng)取一下吧。
3.情商
每個(gè)人在情商都是不一樣的。目前你在處理挫折和好心情方面的人際交往能力早在童年時(shí)期就已經(jīng)形成了。從這個(gè)意義上說(shuō),你和你的男友在情商方面可能不會(huì)改變什么。如果你們經(jīng)常吵架,那就說(shuō)明你們當(dāng)中的一方甚至雙方的情商比較低。
4.智商
智商水平因人而異,取決于你的判斷力如何。有時(shí)候女人和腦子笨的男友在一起依然可以很快樂(lè),但有時(shí)候卻無(wú)法忍受他的愚蠢。此外,也有可能他是兩個(gè)人當(dāng)中頭腦聰明的那一位。無(wú)論如何,如果SAT分?jǐn)?shù)存在很大的差距會(huì)讓其中一個(gè)人心里感到不舒服的話(huà),那么對(duì)你們而言,繼續(xù)走下去可能不是個(gè)好選擇。如果你們喜歡對(duì)方真實(shí)的樣子,無(wú)論是周末時(shí)候兩個(gè)人在縱橫字謎游戲中一爭(zhēng)高下,還是記性不好的他連家族成員的名字都得讓你提醒,都不會(huì)影響相處愉快,那么很有可能他就是你的真愛(ài)。