牛津書蟲系列 遠離塵囂19 芭絲謝芭與蓋伯瑞爾

Chapter 19 Bathsheba and Gabriel
第十九章 芭絲謝芭與蓋伯瑞爾
Gabriel arrived at Boldwood's house about five minutes after the shooting.
槍擊事件過去約五分鐘后，蓋伯瑞爾來到伯德伍德的家。
The villagers were all shocked and silent，but Bathsheba was sitting on the floor，calmly holding Troy's head.
村民們都被震懾住了，一言不發(fā)。芭絲謝芭坐在地上，平靜地捧著托伊的頭。
‘Gabriel，’she said simply，‘I'm afraid it's too late，but ride to Casterbridge for a doctor.
“蓋伯瑞爾，”她淡淡地說，“恐怕太晚了，請你騎馬到卡斯特橋給請個醫(yī)生來。
Mr Boldwood has shot my husband.Gabriel obeyed at once，
伯德伍德先生向我丈夫開槍了。”蓋伯瑞爾立即遵命行事，
and while riding along was tinking so hard about the shooting that in the darkness he failed to notice a man walking along the road to Casterbridge.
他一邊騎馬前行，一邊滿腦子考慮槍擊托伊 的事，所以沒有注意到黑暗中有個人也在沿著大路走向卡斯特橋。
That man was Boldwood，on his way to Casterbridge to confess to his crime.
那個人便是伯德伍德，準備去卡斯特橋坦白自己的罪行。
Bathsheba ordered the body to be removed to her house，and by herself she washed and dressed her dead husband for burial.
芭絲謝芭吩咐人們把尸體抬到她家，然后獨自給死去的丈夫洗凈、穿衣，準備埋葬。
But when the doctor，the vicar and Gabriel arrived，and she no longer needed to be strong，
然而，等醫(yī)生、牧師、蓋伯瑞爾來到時，她便用不著再硬撐了，
her self-control finally broke，and she became very ill.
她便無法再克制自己，病倒了。
On the doctor's advice she was put to bed，and her illness continued for several months.
遵照醫(yī)生吩咐，人們把她抬到床上。她連續(xù)病了幾個月。
At his trial the following March Boldwood was found guilty of murder，for which the usual punishment was death.
三月份，經(jīng)過審判， 伯德伍德被判犯有殺人罪。這種罪通常是要處以死刑的。
However，Weatherbury people began to protest publicly that he should not be held responsible for the crime.
然而，威瑟伯里的人們公開抗議，認為他并不應(yīng)對此罪行負責。
Over the last few weeks the villagers had noticed how his moods changed from wild despair to feverish excitement.
在事發(fā)前幾星期，人們便已經(jīng)注意到他的情緒發(fā)生了變化，原先是絕望之極，后來又激動不安。
He had forgotten his farm and even lost the previous year's harvest.
他完全置農(nóng)場于不顧，甚至頭一年的收成也損失掉了。
And a pile of carefully wrapped parcels of dresses and jewels was found at his house，addressed to‘Bathsheba Boldwood’and dated six years ahead.
在他家，人們找到幾個精心包好的包裹，裝著衣服和首飾上面寫著“給芭絲謝芭·伯德伍德，”日期則是六年以后。
These were accepted by the judges as signs of his madness，and in the end Boldwood was sent to prison for life.
法官們認為，這表明他已精神失常，因而伯德伍德最終被判終生臨禁。
Gabriel knew that Bathsheba blamed herself for Troy's death，and would have blamed herself even more for Boldwood's.
蓋伯瑞爾明白，芭絲謝芭在為托伊的死而自責，如果伯德伍德死了，她會更加嚴厲地自責的。
Her health improved only very slowly.
她康復(fù)得非常之慢，
She hardly ever went out of the house or garden，and did not discuss her feelings with anyone，even Liddy.
幾乎從未出門，也從未同任何人談起過她自己的感情問題，包括利蒂。
But by the summer she was beginning to spend more time in the open air，and one August evening she walked to the churchyard.
不過，夏天到來時，她在戶外的時間多起來了，八月的一個傍晚，她走到了教堂墓地。
She could hear the village children inside the church practising their singing for Sunday.
她聽見村里的孩子們正在教堂里練習星期天的禱歌。
She went straight to Fanny's grave，and read Troy's words on the large gravestone：
她徑直走向范妮墓邊，讀著大大的墓碑上托伊的話：
This stone was put up by Francis Troy in loving memory of Fanny Robin，who died on October 9，1866，aged 20.
謹立此碑懷念可愛的范妮·羅賓。她于1866年10月9日逝世，年20歲。
Underneath，on the same stone，were the words she had added：
立碑人弗蘭西斯·托伊。在同一墓碑的下方，刻著她加上的字：
In the same grave lies Francis Troy who died on December 24，1867，aged 26.
同一墓穴中安息著弗蘭西斯·托伊，他于1867年12月24日逝世，年26歲。
As she listened to the sweet voices of the children coming from the church，
她聽著教堂里傳來的孩子們甜美的嗓音，
and thought of the pain she had experienced in her short life，tears came to her eyes.
想著自己這短短的生活中所經(jīng)歷的痛苦，不禁熱淚盈眶。
She wished she were as innocent as those children again.
她真希望自己也能像那些孩子一般天真無邪。
She was still crying when she suddenly noticed Gabriel Oak，who had come up the path on his way to the church，and was watching her sympathetically.
她正哭著，突然注意到蓋伯瑞爾·奧克已在向教堂走來，正同情地注視著她。
‘Are you going in?’she asked，trying to dry her tears.
“你要進教堂去嗎?”她邊問，邊把淚水擦干。
‘I was，’he replied. ‘I'm one of the church singers，you know，and tonight's my practice evening.
“我本來要去的，”他答道。“我是教堂唱詩班的，今晚輪到我排練。
But I don't think I'll go in now. ’There was a pause，while they both tried to think of something to say.
不過，我現(xiàn)在不想進去了。”兩人都頓住了，都在盡力找話說。
At last Gabriel said slowly，‘I haven't seen you，to speak to，for a long time. Are you better now?’
最后，蓋伯瑞爾緩緩地說：“有好長時間沒有見你，也沒有和你說話了。你現(xiàn)在好些了嗎?”
‘Yes，I am，’she replied. ‘I came to look at the gravestone. ’
“好些了，”她回答。“我來看看這墓碑。”
‘Eight months ago it happened!’said Gabriel. ‘It seems like yesterday to me. ’
“八個月以前的事了!”蓋伯瑞爾說。“可我覺得好像是昨天一樣。”
‘And to me it seems like years，long years ago. ’
“我可覺得像好多、好多年以前似的。”
‘There's something I must tell you，’said Gabriel，hesitating.
“我有話得告訴你，”蓋伯瑞爾猶豫地說。
‘The fact is，I won't be your farm manager much longer. I'm thinking of leaving England，and farming in America. ’
“我不能再為你經(jīng)管農(nóng)場了，我在考慮離開英國，去美國種地。”
‘Leaving England!’she cried in surprise and disappointment.
“離開英國!”她喊道，既感到意外，又覺得失望。
‘But everyone thought you would rent poor Mr Boldwood's farm and manage it yourself!’
“可人們都以為你會租下伯德伍德的農(nóng)場自己經(jīng)營的呀!”
‘The lawyers have offered it to me，it's true.
“沒錯，律師們向我提出來過，
But I'll be leaving Weatherbury next spring. I have my reasons. ’
可我到春天就要離開威瑟伯里，我有我的理由。”
‘And what shall I do without you?Oh Gabriel，we're such old friends!
“沒有你我怎么辦呢?蓋伯瑞爾啊，咱們交朋友這么長時間了。
You've helped me so much in the past，and now that I'm more helpless than ever，you're going away!’
過去你給了我那么多的幫助，現(xiàn)在我比任何時候都需要幫助，可你卻要走了!”
‘It's unfortunate，’said Gabriel unhappily. ‘It's because of that helplessness that I have to go，’
“真是不幸，”蓋伯瑞爾不快地說。“就是因為這種無援無助我才不得不走的。”
and he walked so guickly out of the churchyard that she could not follow him.
說著，他快步走出墓地，她想跟卻沒能跟得上他。
In the next few months Bathsheba noticed miserably that Gabriel communicated with her as little as possible，and then only by messenger.
接下來的幾個月，芭絲謝芭痛苦地注意到，蓋伯瑞爾一直盡少與她直接交往，最后只與她書信往來了。
She could not avoid thinking that he，the last friend she had，had lost interest in supporting her，and was about to desert her.
她不由得認為她這個最后的朋友已不想再幫助她，在準備遺棄她。
On the day after Christmas she received the letter from him which she had been expecting.
圣誕節(jié)后的那天，她收到了他的信，與她的預(yù)料一樣。
In it he explained that he would leave the farm in three months’time.
信中，他解釋說，他將于三個月后離開農(nóng)場。
Bathsheba sat and cried bitterly over this letter.
芭絲謝芭拿著信坐在那里，
She was deeply hurt that Gabriel no longer loved her.
蓋伯瑞爾不再愛她，使她感到深受傷害。
She was also worried about having to manage the farm by herself again.
同時她也因自己又要管理農(nóng)場而感到擔憂。
She thought about it all morning，and was so depressed by the afternoon that she put on her cloak and found her way to where Gabriel lived.
整個上午她都在考慮這件事情，下午來到時，她深感沮喪，于是披上斗篷向蓋伯瑞爾的住處走去。
She knocked at the door.
她敲了敲門。
‘Who is it?’said Gabriel，opening the door. ‘Oh，It's you，mistress!’
“誰呀?”蓋伯瑞爾一邊開門，一邊問道。“啊呀，是你呀，主人。”
‘I won't be your mistress much longer，will I，Gabriel?’she said sadly.
“我當主人不會當幾天了，是不是，蓋伯瑞爾?”她悲傷地說。
‘Well，no，I suppose not. ’
“嗯，是的，我想是吧。”
Because these two people，who knew each other well，were meeting in a strange place，
此時，這兩個彼此相熟的人在新的地方相會，
they felt like the strangers they were when they first met，and neither spoke for a moment.
因此，他們都覺得像彼此初次見面時那樣陌生，兩人都一時無話。
‘Gabriel，perhaps I shouldn't have come，but I—I thought I must have offended you，and that's why you're going away.
“蓋伯瑞爾，也許我本不該來，可我——我想肯定是我得罪你了，所以你才想要離開。”
‘Offended me!You couldn't do that，Bathsheba!’
“得罪我!你不會得罪我的，芭絲謝芭!”
‘Couldn't I?’she said gladly. ‘But then why are you going?’
“我不會嗎?”她高興地說。“那你為什么要走呢?”
‘I'm not going to America，you know. I decided not to，when you seemed against the idea.
“我不去美國了。我看你似乎不贊成我去，我就決定不去了。
No，I've arranged to rent Mr Boldwood's farm，and I could have been your farm manager as well，if—well—if people hadn't said things about us. ’
我已經(jīng)打算好租下伯德伍德先生的農(nóng)場，而且，要不是人們說咱倆的那些話，我還可以給你經(jīng)管農(nóng)場。”
‘What?’said Bathsheba，surprised. ‘What things?’
“什么?”芭絲謝芭詫異地問道。“說咱倆什么?”
‘Well，if you must know，that I'm just waiting and hoping for the chance to marry you some day. ’
“呃，如果你真要知道，我告訴你。他們說我在等待并盼望有一天找機會娶你。”
‘Marry me!That's too foolish—too soon—to think of!’
“娶我!這太愚蠢——太快了——沒法想象!”
‘Yes，of course，it's foolish. I certainly agree. ’
“當然了，是太愚蠢，我同意。”
‘“Too soon”were the words I used. ’
“我是說‘太快了’。”
‘I'm sorry，but I think you said“too foolish”. ’
“對不起，我還以為你說的是‘太愚蠢’呢。”
‘I'm sorry too，’she replied with tears in her eyes. ‘“Too soon”was what I said.
“我也對不起你，”她兩眼含著淚回答道。“我說的是‘太快了’，
But it doesn't matter a bit，not at all—but I only meant“too soon”. Indeed，you must believe me!’
不過這沒關(guān)系，一點關(guān)系都沒有——我的意思只是說‘太快了’。真的，你得相信我!”
Gabriel looked into her face for a long time. ‘Bathsheba，’he said，coming closer，
蓋伯瑞爾長時間地望著她的臉。“芭絲謝芭，”他說著走近了她，
‘If I only knew one thing—whether you'd allow me to love you，and marry you after all—if I only knew!’
“我真想知道一件事——你讓不讓我愛你，讓不讓我娶你——我真想知道!”
‘But you never will know，’she whispered.
“可你絕不會知道的，”她悄聲地說。
‘Why not?’
“為什么不會?”
‘Because you never ask. ’
“因為你從來不問。”
‘Oh!’said Gabriel delightedly. ‘My darling—’
“啊!”蓋伯瑞爾喜悅地說，“親愛的——”
‘You should never have sent me that cruel letter this morning.
“你今天早上怎么能把那封殘酷的信送給我!
It shows you don't care a bit about me!’
那說明你一點也不把我當回事!”
‘Now Bathsheba，’he said，laughing，‘you know very well that I had to be very careful，as a single man working for you，a good-looking young woman.
“芭絲謝芭，”他笑著說，“你非常清楚，我必須非常小心行事才行，我是個給你干活的單身男人，你卻是個漂亮的年輕女人。
I've been so worried about your good name. That's why I was going to leave. ’
我一直為你的好名聲而擔憂，所以我才準備走的。”
‘And that's the only reason?Oh，I'm so glad I came!’she cried thankfully，as she got up to leave.
“就這一個原因?啊，我真慶幸我來了你這兒，”她欣慰地喊道，說著起身準備離去。
‘I've thought so much more about you since I imagined you didn't even want to see me again.
“自從我以為你不想再見到我以來，我一直在想你呀!
But Gabriel，I shouldn't have come to visit you!
可是，蓋伯瑞爾，不應(yīng)該是我來看你!
I seem to be courting you!How awful!’
倒像是我在追你!太可怕了!”
‘Well，I've courted you，my beautiful Bathsheba，for a very long time，so one visit from you isn't much to ask. ’
“不對，是我在追你，漂亮的芭絲謝芭，追了你好久，所以請你來看我一次也不算多。”
As he walked back to the farmhouse with her，they talked of his plans for Boldwood's farm.
他陪她走回屋去，一 路上，他們談?wù)撝?jīng)營伯德伍德農(nóng)場的打算，
They spoke very little of their feelings for each other.
而關(guān)于彼此之間的感情卻談得很少。
They were such old friends that expressions of love were probably unnecessary.
他們二人已相知很深，互相表述愛情或許已無必要。
Their shared interests and their long，friendly relationship had given them a complete understanding of each other's character，
他們二人的共同利益、互相 之間的長久友誼已經(jīng)使他們彼此十分了解對方的性格，
and this finally developed，after their wedding，into a love that nothing could destroy.
而這種了解在他們二人結(jié)婚之后，又發(fā)展成了一種無堅不摧的愛情。