伍迪單口相聲精選 第10期:艾格斯·本尼迪克特Eggs Benedict

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有一次我胸口部位很疼。

Now, I was sure it was heartburn, y'know, 'cause atthat time I was married and my wife cooking withher nazi recipies, y'know, chicken Himmler.

我想那一定是胃灼熱，因?yàn)槟菚r(shí)我已經(jīng)結(jié)婚了，我妻子總是做那些納粹食譜給我吃，譬如“希姆萊子雞”。

I didn't wanna pay twenty-five bucks to have itreaffirmed by some medic, that I had heartburn. ButI was worried 'cause it was in the chestal area.

我不想付二十五美元讓醫(yī)生給我確診一下我是不是有胃灼熱。但是我又很擔(dān)心，因?yàn)槟鞘窃谛乜诓课弧?/p>

Then it turns out my friend, Eggs Benedict, has a pain in his chestal area, in the same exactspot.

碰巧的是我朋友，他叫艾格斯·本尼迪克特(又是一種早餐名，“火腿蛋松餅”，也有用三文魚(yú)和烤面包等做的。) ，也在胸口的部位疼痛，完全是同一個(gè)位置。

I figured if I could get Eggs to go to the doctor, I could figure out what was wrong with me, atno charge, so I con Eggs.

我想要是我能讓艾格斯去看醫(yī)生，那樣我也知道我出了什么問(wèn)題，不用花錢。于是我就騙艾格斯。

He goes. Turns out he's got heartburn.

他去了。結(jié)果是他有胃灼熱。

Cost him twenty-five dollars, and I feel great, 'cause I figured I beat the medic out of twenty-five big ones, y'know.

花了他二十五美元。我感覺(jué)好極了，因?yàn)槲蚁胛沂∠铝苏宕笤木歪t(yī)錢。

Called up Eggs two days later-he died.

兩天后我打電話找艾格斯——他死了。

I check into a hospital immediately, have a battery of test run and x-rays. Turns out I gotheartburn. Cost me a hundred and ten dollars.

我立即跑去醫(yī)院檢查，連番做了一系列化驗(yàn)和透視，結(jié)果我得的就是胃灼熱。花了我110美元。

Now I'm furious. I run to Eggs' mother, and I say: "Did he suffer much?"

我極其生氣，跑去找艾格斯的媽媽，我問(wèn)她：“他死時(shí)有沒(méi)有遭很多罪?”

And she said: "No, it was quick. Car hit him and that was it."

她說(shuō)：“沒(méi)有，很快。車子撞上他后，一下就過(guò)去了。”