時差N小時:擔心兒子被好朋友帶壞

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Dear Annie:

親愛的安妮：

When my son was 14, he was friends with "Tim", aboy who drank and did drugs at a young age andwho once stole his father's car and took my sonjoyriding around the neighborhood. I didn't want ourson hanging out with Tim after that, but myhusband thought the boy should be forgiven andgave our son permission to keep seeing him.

我兒子14歲時，交上一位叫“提姆”的朋友，這個男孩小小年紀，即酗酒又吸毒，有一次還偷偷開走他父親的車，載著我兒子在社區(qū)兜風。自那以后我不想讓兒子跟提姆出去瞎混，但是我丈夫認為應該原諒那孩子，并允許兒子繼續(xù)找他玩。

That was four years ago. Tim, now 17, continued breaking the law and is currently serving timein a juvenile facility for various felony convictions. He will be getting out in a couple of months. Ido not want him on my property or hanging out with my son (who does not use the bestjudgment when he is around Tim), but my husband still believes Tim should be forgiven.Please help.—Distraught and Worried

那是4年前的事了。提姆現(xiàn)在17歲了，還是那么桀驁不馴，屢次觸犯法律，目前他在一家重罪少管所里服刑。兩個月后他就會被釋放。我不想他出現(xiàn)在我家，不想讓他再接近我兒子，因為他只要在提姆身邊，就無法做正確的判斷，但是我丈夫仍然覺得應該再次接受原諒他。請幫忙。——擔心煩惱的母親

Dear Distraught and Worried:

親愛的煩惱的母親：

You can forgive Tim without letting him be an influence on your son. Inform your husband thatforgiveness doesn't mean disregarding another's safety. It means you let go of your angertoward the person.

你可以原諒提姆，同時不讓他帶壞你兒子。提醒你的丈夫，寬恕不代表不考慮別人的安全。寬恕只能代表你釋放了對那人的憤怒。

It is important to discuss your concerns with your son. Calmly explain why you think spendingtime with Tim is not in his best interests. Tell him you have confidence in his maturity andtrust him. Beyond that, have faith that you have raised him right.

一定要跟兒子談談你的擔憂，因為這很重要。跟孩子解釋時，語氣放平和，告訴他你為什么覺得最好不要和提姆呆在一起。告訴他他已經(jīng)長大成熟了，你對他有信心，你相信他。除此之外，相信自己會把他撫養(yǎng)成人。