異類之不一樣的成功啟示錄 第68期:如何投成年人所好

The poorer parents, by contrast, are intimidated by authority. They react passively and stay in the background.

貧困家庭的父母則相反，他們常會向一些權(quán)威人士讓步。他們總是顯得服服帖帖，不能勇敢地站出來。

Lareau writes of one low- income parent:

拉里奧曾描述其中一位低收入階層的父母：

At a parent-teacher conference, for example, Ms McAllister (who is a high school graduate) seems subdued.

例如，在一次家長會上，麥卡利斯特夫人(她的學(xué)歷為高中)看起來就收斂了許多，

The gregarious and outgoing nature she displays at home is hidden in this setting.

一點都不像她在家時那樣熱情，那樣喜歡交流，在這里，她的這些性格都掩蓋起來了。

She sits hunched over in the chair and she keeps her jacket zipped up.

她弓著背坐在椅子上，始終扣緊著夾克的拉鏈，

She's very quiet. When the teacher reports that Harold had not been turing in his homework,

她顯得很平靜。當(dāng)孩子的老師說到哈羅德沒有上交家庭作業(yè)的時候，

Ms McAllister clearly is flabbergasted, but all she says is, "he did it at home."

麥卡利斯特夫人目瞪口呆，她非常驚訝，但是她說的只有這么一句：“他在家做了作業(yè)。”

She does not follow up with the teacher or attempt to intervene on Harold's behalf.

她即沒有追問老師這到底是怎么回事，也沒想過要多為哈羅德辯解什么。

In her view, it is up to the teachers to manage her son's education. That is their job, not hers.

在她眼里，教師完全能夠教育好她的兒子，那是教師們的工作，而不是她的。

Lareau calls the middle-class parenting style "concerted cultivation."

拉里奧把中產(chǎn)階層父母的教育方式稱為“協(xié)同培養(yǎng)”，

It's an attempt to actively "foster and asses a child's talents, opinions and skills."

其目的是積極地“培養(yǎng)并評估一個孩子的才能、觀念和技能”。

Poor parents tend to follow, by contrast, a strategy of "accomplishment of natural growth."

相反，窮人們遵循的是“自然成長”的策略，

The see their responsibility to care for their children but to let them grow and develop on their own.

他們雖然認(rèn)為自己的責(zé)任是照看孩子，但是應(yīng)該讓孩子自由自在地發(fā)育成長。

Lareau stresses that one style isn't morally better than the other.

拉里奧強(qiáng)調(diào)，這兩種培養(yǎng)方法不能說哪種更好。

In fact, the poorer children were, to her mind, often better behaved, less whiny, more creative in making use of their own time,

在拉里奧看來，窮人的孩子善于動手，不喜歡發(fā)牢騷，能夠更有創(chuàng)意地支配自己的時間，

and had a well-developed sense of independence.

擁有極強(qiáng)的獨(dú)立自主觀念。

But in practical terms, concerted cultivation has enormous advantages.

但是在實踐層面上，協(xié)同培養(yǎng)的優(yōu)勢更明顯些。

The heavily scheduled middle-class child is exposed to a constantly shifting set of experiences.

有著緊密活動安排的中產(chǎn)階層家庭的小孩總在不斷變更著自己的經(jīng)歷，

She learns team work and how to cope in highly structured settings.

她能學(xué)會團(tuán)隊協(xié)作，她也知道怎樣處理一些高層事件。

She is taught how to interact comfortably with adults, and to speak up when she needs to.

她知道怎樣投成年人所好，在需要的時候，她知道該如何甜言蜜語地說服成年人。

In Lareau's words, the middle-class children learn a sense of "entitlement."

在拉里奧的眼里，中產(chǎn)階層家庭的孩子開始領(lǐng)會到了“權(quán)利”的意義。

That word, of course, has negative connotations these days.

當(dāng)然，這個詞匯在當(dāng)時有一定負(fù)面意義。

But Lareau means it in the best sense of the term:

但拉里奧認(rèn)為這個詞匯最能夠說明這種現(xiàn)象：

"They acted as though they had a right to pursue their own inpidual preferences and to actively manage interactions institutional settings.

“他們的行為似乎表明他們擁有個人自由選擇的權(quán)利，他們也擁有靈活應(yīng)對各種制度安排的權(quán)利。