他其實(shí)沒(méi)那么喜歡你 第35期:僅僅感覺(jué)很好并不是愛(ài)情

The "But It Still Feels So Good" Excuse

“但是感覺(jué)依然很好”的借口

Dear Greg,

親愛(ài)的格雷格，

I'm dating this guy who told me after the first datethat he can't be monogamous.

和我第一次約會(huì)的人跟我說(shuō)他無(wú)法遵循一夫一妻。

He doesn't believe in it. I slept with him anyway.

他不相信這個(gè)。不管如何我還是跟他上床了。

Then I realized it would be bad to date him, so I told him I couldn't go out with him.

然后我發(fā)現(xiàn)跟他約會(huì)很糟糕，所以我告訴他我不能再跟他繼續(xù)下去了。

But then I missed him. So now we're doing this weird thing where we hang out, go on dates,and then have these little "sleepovers."

但是我還是很想他。所以現(xiàn)在我們做的事很奇怪，我們出去玩兒，約會(huì)，而且稍微“過(guò)個(gè)夜”什么的。

I sleep over at his house and we just cuddle.

我在他家過(guò)夜，我們只擁抱了而已。

It's so nice, Greg. We make dinner, watch television, laugh.

這很棒格雷格。我們一起做晚飯，看電視，哈哈大笑。

It's really sweet and I feel so close to him.

這真的很甜蜜，我感覺(jué)我們很親近。

He doesn't try anything and we just enjoy each other's company.

他不會(huì)嘗試什么，我們只是享受著彼此的相伴。

I know I'm not supposed to expect anything more, but I'm feeling like his girlfriend, and younever know where this could lead.

我知道我不應(yīng)該期望很多，但是我感覺(jué)自己像他的女朋友，而且你永遠(yuǎn)不知道事情會(huì)如何發(fā)展。

It feels so great to stay over and wake up with him!

和他一起過(guò)夜，一起醒來(lái)感覺(jué)真的很棒!

Is there anything wrong with this?

這有什么問(wèn)題么?

Signed Pat

帕特

Dear Slumber Party,

親愛(ài)的睡眠伙伴，

Let me see. It wasn't hard enough for you to hear that the person you are dating doesn't wantto be monogamous.

讓我想想。你并不難接受你的對(duì)象不遵循一夫一妻制。

But then you slathered on the extra hurt by continuing to see him while he may be sleepingwith other people.

但是接著你在看見(jiàn)他繼續(xù)和其他人睡覺(jué)的時(shí)候遭受了大量的痛苦。

So now you're feeling like his girlfriend, but without any of the perks. Not even sex.

所以你現(xiàn)在感覺(jué)自己是他的女朋友，但是沒(méi)有任何特權(quán)，甚至沒(méi)有性生活。

What kind of weird science experiment are you doing with your emotions?

你在對(duì)自己的感情進(jìn)行什么奇怪的科學(xué)實(shí)驗(yàn)?zāi)?

Don't get me wrong, Madame Curie—I know it's nice to have companionship and wake up withsomebody that you really like, but that's what pets are for.

別會(huì)錯(cuò)意，瑪麗·居里——我知道有喜歡的人陪伴、并且一起醒來(lái)感覺(jué)很好，但是那是寵物的職責(zé)所在。

Pets are God's way of saying, "Don't lower the bar because you're lonely."

寵物是上帝的旨意，“別因寂寞而降低門(mén)檻。”

Clearly you know yourself well enough to know that you aren't cool with sharing your man, andby the way...you shouldn't be cool with it!

很明顯你很了解自己無(wú)法接受和別人共享自己的男人，而且，你不應(yīng)該對(duì)此無(wú)所謂!

You deserve a boyfriend of your very own who you feel safe enough to have sex with.

你值得擁有一個(gè)完全屬于自己的可以安心和他做愛(ài)的男朋友。

Greg

格雷格

The old-fashioned idea is that women withhold sex when they want power.

老式的想法是當(dāng)女人想要權(quán)力的時(shí)候會(huì)克制性。

It seems like men can play that game too. Why buy the cow when you can get the intimacyfor free?

看起來(lái)男人也可以玩這個(gè)游戲。如果你可以享受免費(fèi)的性，為什么要去買(mǎi)呢?

Oh, it's so simple.

哦，顯而易見(jiàn)。

If a guy is happy lying around in bed with you eating cookies and watching old movies, and he'snot gay, then he's just not that into you.

如果一個(gè)男人跟你躺在床上吃餅干看電影，要不就是同性戀，要不就是沒(méi)那么喜歡你。