生活英語(yǔ)聽(tīng)力文章：保持和家人的溝通

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Connecting with Family 和家人的溝通

Author: Don Smith (Todd’s Father)

作者：Don Smith(Todd的父親)

On this Father’s Day weekend, I am reminiscing about my family and the connectedness I am enjoying today. I am remembering past events that have contributed to my philosophy about what it takes to have a connected family.

在這個(gè)父親節(jié)的周末，我回憶著我的家人，回憶著我今天所享受到的和家人在一起的點(diǎn)點(diǎn)滴滴。我回憶著一些有助于我的哲學(xué)的往事，這是關(guān)于一個(gè)聯(lián)系緊密的家庭需要什么的哲學(xué)。

From my experience, I define connectedness as that place in any relationship where two people meet, find safety and respect in openness, know differences will not divide, and are valued and bound together by love and the freedom to be authentically one’s self.

從我的經(jīng)驗(yàn)看來(lái)，聯(lián)系可以定義為在任何關(guān)系下兩個(gè)人相遇，找到安全感并且公開(kāi)地尊重對(duì)方的地方，差異并沒(méi)有引起隔閡而是被珍視，他們被愛(ài)和成為真正自我的自由緊緊地聯(lián)系在了一起。

Influencing Generations Through Our Choices

我們的決定影響著后代

For the last 13 years I have been engaged in researching our family’s genealogy with my now 95-year-old brother. It has been an informative and rewarding pursuit providing me an enriched perspective on life and one’s contribution to future generations.

在過(guò)去的13年里，我一直在和我現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)95歲的弟弟一起從事研究我們的家族族譜。這是一個(gè)有教育性意義并很值得的追求，它提供給我一個(gè)豐富的角度看生活，以及一個(gè)人對(duì)未來(lái)幾代人的貢獻(xiàn)。

From my genealogical research dating back to the 1500’s, I have concluded that not much, if anything, will be remembered about us personally beyond the third generation. But, our profound choices can and probably will have a “ripple” effect on generations to come. To illustrate, one line of ancestors chose to come to America on the Mayflower. Another chose to join in the fight for independence in the American Revolution, while another chose to remain loyal to the British Crown and moved to Nova Scotia. Choices, choices, choices! They have certainly impacted generations to follow. And I realize that my choices today could also have an impact on my descendents.

從我對(duì)追溯到十五世紀(jì)的宗譜學(xué)的研究中可以總結(jié)出，在超過(guò)第三代以后我們能記住的關(guān)于我們自己的事幾乎沒(méi)有。然而，我們那些影響深遠(yuǎn)的決定可以對(duì)后代們有 “漣漪效應(yīng)”。舉個(gè)例子來(lái)說(shuō)，一隊(duì)祖先們選擇乘“五月花號(hào)”的郵輪來(lái)到美國(guó)，另一隊(duì)選擇飛去美國(guó)參與支持美國(guó)獨(dú)立戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)，與此同時(shí)還有一部分選擇忠于英國(guó)王朝而搬去了加拿大。選擇，選擇，又一個(gè)選擇!他們毫無(wú)疑問(wèn)地影響了他們的后代。而且我意識(shí)到我今天的決定也同樣對(duì)我的后代們有所影響。

Learning from Relationships

從人際關(guān)系中學(xué)習(xí)

When I was only 16 years old, my father died suddenly at age 66. I knew him as a quiet, honorable, and respected man. He indeed was a man of fine character, but we never “connected.” That relationship greatly influenced my intentions as a father. So I aspired to be like him—a man of integrity; but I also choose to be a father of intentional connectedness. I have four children and fourteen grandchildren. My relationship with each one is special, unique, and greatly treasured. I experience rewarding connectedness with each one.

當(dāng)我只是16歲時(shí)，我爸爸突然過(guò)世，享年66歲。我知道他是一個(gè)安靜、可敬和受人尊敬的人。他確實(shí)是一個(gè)好性格的人，但是我們從未“關(guān)聯(lián)”。這種關(guān)系很大地影響了我作為一名父親的意圖。所以我雖然渴望像他一樣——做一個(gè)正直的人;但我也選擇成為一個(gè)特意與家人有關(guān)聯(lián)的父親。我有4個(gè)小孩和14個(gè)孫子女。我和每一個(gè)人的關(guān)系都很特殊，很獨(dú)特，非常珍貴。我體驗(yàn)著和每一個(gè)人的有益的關(guān)聯(lián)。

Passing the Baton

傳遞接力棒

Something else I am remembering this Father’s Day is the relay race at track and field events. While in high school I was a member of a relay team which competed in the two-mile relay. I was in the second position on the team for each event. I remember how much emphasis and importance our coach placed on the “hand off” of the baton. Actually the race could be won or lost depending on how well the first three relay members passed on the baton.

這個(gè)父親節(jié)我所記得的其他事情還有小路上的接力賽和田賽。雖然在高中的時(shí)候，我是接力隊(duì)的一員，這個(gè)接力隊(duì)參加了一個(gè)2英里的接力賽。每一次比賽，我都站在隊(duì)伍的第二個(gè)位置。我記得我們教練有多么強(qiáng)調(diào)和重視接力棒的傳遞。的確，比賽的成敗可以決定于前三個(gè)接力隊(duì)員在傳遞接力棒時(shí)做的如何。

I have drawn an analogy from that experience, reminding myself of the grave importance in passing on life’s baton to my children and grandchildren. For me, two special concerns remain:

我用這個(gè)經(jīng)歷做個(gè)類比，提醒我自己將生活的接力棒傳遞給我的兒女和兒孫時(shí)的巨大重要性。對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，有兩個(gè)關(guān)注點(diǎn)：

1) What am I passing on?

我在傳遞什么?

2) How well am I making the “hand off?”

我做的“傳遞”如何呢?

Reaping a Grand Reward

獲得一個(gè)巨大的回報(bào)

Finally I have come to realize there is a “gift exchange” between generations. The exchange begins with parents and grandparents who love, listen, and recognize with respect each child’s natural preferences and affirm his or her potential. Eventually the gifts of honor and gratitude will return from the children for years to come. That has been my cherished experience.

后來(lái)我意識(shí)到每一代之間都有一個(gè)“禮物交換”。這個(gè)交換始于父母和祖父母，他們尊敬地愛(ài)護(hù)、聽(tīng)取、意識(shí)到每一個(gè)孩子的天生癖好，并肯定他或她的潛能。最終，在未來(lái)幾年后尊敬和感激的禮物會(huì)從孩子那兒反饋回來(lái)。這就是我珍貴的經(jīng)驗(yàn)。

Are we a perfect family? By no means! But, we are on a journey together where faith, hope, and love are the atmospherics we breathe. We believe in one another, we desire and expect good things for one another, and we love and forgive one another. Is that always easy? Not at all! But it’s more than worth it.

我們是一個(gè)完美的家庭嗎?絕不!但是，我們?cè)谝粋€(gè)能讓我們呼吸信任、期望和愛(ài)之空氣的旅程上。我們互相信任，互相祝福，互相愛(ài)護(hù)，互相寬恕。這樣做總是很容易嗎?一點(diǎn)也不。但這非常值得。

For me, being the father and grandfather in our family is one wonderfully rewarding journey. I salute my children and grandchildren for who they are and are becoming.

對(duì)于我來(lái)說(shuō)，做我們家庭的父親和祖父是一個(gè)非常有益的旅程。我為我的兒女和兒孫現(xiàn)在是誰(shuí)、將成為誰(shuí)而感到自豪。

I challenge you to resist trying to control others; accept each person for who they are. Engage in genuine listening and understanding. Be consistent in respect for one another. It almost always makes for treasured connectedness.

我冒昧勸你不要嘗試去控制別人;接受每個(gè)人本身。做真正的傾聽(tīng)和理解。相互尊重。這樣就可以促成寶貴的聯(lián)系。