The Ticking Time Bomb 鬧鐘-上班族的定時(shí)炸彈
嘀嗒作響的定時(shí)炸彈
Have you ever thought or said something like this? “If he does that one more time, I am going to lose it!” Or, “If she keeps treating me that way, I am going to give her a piece of my mind!” Or, “If this happens again, I won’t be able to restrain myself!”
你曾這樣想過或說過嗎“如果他在做一次這種事情,我就會(huì)失去它”,“如果她一直那樣對(duì)我,我會(huì)給她我的真心”,抑或“如果這種事情再次發(fā)生,我會(huì)控制不住自己的”
These are examples of what I call the ticking time bomb. When I hear people say these types of things, I cringe and want to say “WARNING”. When you know in advance that you are going to retaliate if someone does or says something again, you are in danger of exploding and damaging your reputation.
這些都是所謂的定時(shí)炸彈的例子。每當(dāng)我聽到有人說這類事時(shí)我會(huì)很畏懼并且想要告誡他們。如果你提前知道當(dāng)有人再次說或做某些事時(shí)你會(huì)報(bào)復(fù),你會(huì)陷入爆炸和自毀聲譽(yù)的險(xiǎn)境中。
Consider this true story.
認(rèn)真考慮下面的這個(gè)真實(shí)的故事。
Brenda was a senior sales associate in the Customer Service Department at a busy retail store. She was having difficulty with a complicated return, so she called Doug, the manager on duty, and asked for assistance.
布倫達(dá)在一個(gè)很火的零售店里做客服部相關(guān)的高級(jí)銷售,她在復(fù)雜的收益方面遇到了困難,所以打電話給值班經(jīng)理道格尋求幫助。
Doug was a young, new manager who had been getting pulled in every direction all day. He asked with an exasperated tone, “Okay, Brenda, what are you having trouble with?”
道格是個(gè)年輕的剛上任不久的經(jīng)理,每天都被各種事情煩擾著。他用惱怒的語(yǔ)氣問布倫達(dá)“好吧,布倫達(dá),你遇到了什么麻煩?”
Brenda explained the problem and asked Doug to help her.
布倫達(dá)解釋了問題并向道格求助
Doug curtly replied, “That’s your job, Brenda. You figure it out. You have to learn to deal with this kind of situation yourself.”
道格無禮的回答道“布倫達(dá),那是你的工作,你把它計(jì)算清楚,你要學(xué)會(huì)自己處理這種事情”
Brenda, who was already frustrated, exploded loudly in front of all the customers and her associates. “I know how to do my job, Doug! I’ve been here a lot longer than you, so don’t insult me!”
原本就很受挫的布倫達(dá)在所有顧客和同伴的面前大聲的爆發(fā)道“道格,我知道如何做好自己的工作,我來這比你久,所以不要辱罵我”
After Doug left, Brenda turned to her customer and said, “I hate it when he does that. He does it all the time. He thinks he knows everything but he doesn’t.”
在道格離開后,布倫達(dá)對(duì)顧客說道“我很討厭道格這樣做,他總是這樣子,他以為他知道所有的事情,其實(shí)不然”
The customer with the return item felt awkward, believing it was her fault for causing the scene; the other associates tried to act like they hadn’t heard the conversation; and Brenda now had a lot of explaining to do when her shift ended.
這些收益項(xiàng)目相關(guān)的顧客就會(huì)感到很尷尬,他們認(rèn)為這種場(chǎng)景的發(fā)生是布倫達(dá)的錯(cuò),其他的伙伴試圖表現(xiàn)的像沒聽到這場(chǎng)談話,當(dāng)布倫達(dá)輪班結(jié)束后會(huì)有很多解釋要做。
You guessed it; Brenda was a ticking time bomb. She had clearly been harboring some ill feelings toward the new manager from other encounters. When under pressure, she was unable to hold it in any longer and lost control of her emotions.
你猜對(duì)了,布倫達(dá)就是一個(gè)定時(shí)炸彈。她顯然對(duì)新上任的經(jīng)理藏有惡意的情感。在高壓下她就控制不了,整個(gè)情感失控了。
Damage Assessment
傷情評(píng)估
This story is just one example of the many damaging repercussions of “losing it.” It could happen anywhere—at home, in the workplace, or even on the tennis court. My guess is we’ve all been there at one time or another.
這個(gè)故事僅是眾多“失去”的不良影響中的一例,他可能發(fā)生在任何地方---家里、工作場(chǎng)所、抑或網(wǎng)球場(chǎng),我猜想這種事情我們遇到過的不止一次。
Whether it’s a rare occurrence for you, or something you struggle with regularly, today’s lesson is about helping you make different decisions when you know you are about to lose it. When you feel this way, you benefit best by “putting a lid on it.” Don’t do or say something you will regret later.
無論是否會(huì)發(fā)生在你身上,或者你經(jīng)常在這些事情里掙扎,今天的內(nèi)容會(huì)在你知道你要失去時(shí)幫你做出不一樣的決定。當(dāng)你有這樣的感覺時(shí),最好把它蓋上。不要做或說出將來讓你后悔的事情。
Even though Brenda may have felt justified in her anger, her outburst reflected poorly on her ability to remain calm under pressure. She inflicted hurt and embarrassment on her supervisor, and she failed to project the level of professionalism that her employer requires and expects. Consider the other potential consequences:
即使布倫達(dá)覺得他的憤怒很正當(dāng),她的爆發(fā)反映了他極差的高壓下的自控能力。她給領(lǐng)導(dǎo)到來了傷害和尷尬,她沒有拿出雇主需要和期望的專業(yè)水平。請(qǐng)認(rèn)真思考下這件事帶來的其他潛在的后果。
Brenda must apologize if she wishes to repair the damage she has done.
She now has a strained working relationship with Doug at best, and possibly an irreparably damaged one.
She has lost the respect of her co-workers who now view her differently.
She may lose her job or chance of promotion.
如果她想修補(bǔ)帶來的傷害布倫達(dá)必須道歉?,F(xiàn)在她和道格關(guān)系很緊張,很有可能會(huì)彌補(bǔ)不了。她已經(jīng)失去了見證她發(fā)生改變的同僚們的尊重,接下來可能會(huì)失去工作和晉升的機(jī)會(huì)。
I’ve exploded at times in my own life. I know that I have damaged my reputation, not only in the eyes of the person who received the brunt of my anger, but also in the eyes of everyone who bore witness. Even worse, I have done it with my wife. Like many of the lessons I share on Little Things Matter, I learned this one the hard way.
在生活中我也爆發(fā)過很多次。在被我憤怒波及的人以及目睹我這個(gè)過程的人眼中我都已經(jīng)自毀聲譽(yù)了。更糟糕的是,我對(duì)我妻子爆發(fā)過。正如我所分享的很多重要的事情一樣,我體會(huì)到這個(gè)也是通過一個(gè)艱難的方式。
Use Your Awareness to Make the Right Decision
用覺悟去做正確的選擇
The next time you feel the tension rising and you start to think you can’t handle any more of someone or something, take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Pause to consider the damage you might cause to your job, reputation, or relationship if you don’t keep your emotions in check. Use this awareness to make sure you don’t say or do anything you will regret.
下一次你感到緊張感上升,你認(rèn)為你處理不來一些人或事時(shí),深吸一口氣,緩緩呼出來。如果你不能把情感放置合適的位置就停下來想想你可能會(huì)給工作、名譽(yù)或人際關(guān)系造成的損失。用這樣意識(shí)來確保你不會(huì)說出或做出后悔的事情。
Warren Buffet— American investor, industrialist, and philanthropist—shares some of his wisdom in this quote: “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.”
美國(guó)的投資者、實(shí)業(yè)家、慈善家巴菲特分享過他的人生智慧“樹立聲譽(yù)需要20年,而摧毀它只需5分鐘。如果你認(rèn)真思考這句話,你在做事時(shí)就會(huì)與眾不同。
When you find yourself getting upset, challenge yourself to find a way of handling your frustration in a way that makes you proud. One of the things my wife always says when she knows I am upset with someone is “speak in love.” When I consider speaking in love to those who have angered me, it completely changes my attitude because I know it is the right thing to do.
當(dāng)你感到失落時(shí),挑戰(zhàn)自己去尋找一個(gè)讓你驕傲的方法來處理這種沮喪。當(dāng)我妻子知道我和別人不愉快時(shí)她會(huì)經(jīng)常說一句話“用愛和人說話”。當(dāng)我想著用愛和惹我生氣的人交流時(shí),我的態(tài)度完全改變了因?yàn)槲抑肋@樣做是對(duì)的。
Remember, when you choose to respond rather than react to a difficult situation, you demonstrate to others and yourself that you are in control of your emotions.
記著,當(dāng)你選擇回應(yīng)而不是困境下的自然反應(yīng)時(shí),你向其他人和自己證明了你能控制住自己的情緒。