Don't make money a top priority. People who say money is one of their most important goals score lower for mental health, according to a variety of studies conducted over the past decade by Dr. Tim Kasser, associate psychology professor at Knox College, and Dr. Richard Ryan, psychology professor at the University of Rochester. Money-seekers suffer a greater risk of depression; have more anxiety and lower self-esteem; experience more physical, behavioral and relationship problems; and score lower on indicators testing for vitality (feeling alive and vigorousl and self-actualization. The problems were not caused by being affluent but by making money a primary goal in life.
不要把錢當(dāng)做頭等重要的事情。根據(jù)諾克斯大學(xué)心理學(xué)副教授提姆·卡塞博士和羅切斯特大學(xué)心理學(xué)教授理查德·賴安博士在過(guò)去十幾年來(lái)的研究結(jié)果顯示,那些把錢當(dāng)做重要目標(biāo)之一的人在心理健康方面的得分是較低的。這些人一般更容易情緒消沉,常常焦慮,只有少得可憐的自尊,并會(huì)導(dǎo)致身體、行為舉止和人際關(guān)系方面的諸多問題。他們?cè)谏?感覺活潑和精力旺盛)和自我完善的測(cè)試中,往往也得分較低。以上種種問題并不是因?yàn)楦辉1旧硪鸬模怯捎谶@些人把金錢當(dāng)做了人生的首要目標(biāo)。
知道怎樣談?wù)摻疱X。密歇根的霍普學(xué)院的教授作家大衛(wèi)說(shuō),我們向自己說(shuō)明一件事情的方式對(duì)我們的幸福有很大的影響。“我買不起”換一句話可說(shuō)成“我想把錢花在其他東西上。”把自己想象成一個(gè)有能力按照自己的價(jià)值觀和偏好做出明智選擇的人,而不是那個(gè)不能左右生活的自怨自艾的可憐蟲。
Focus on essential psychological needs. Money scored last on the list of psychological needs that create happiness and fulfillment, according to a study by Kennon Sheldon, psychologist at the University of Missouri——Columbia. What are the four most essential needs? Autonomy-feeling your actions are self-chosen and setf-endorsed, competence-feeling effective in what you do; self-esteem; and a sense of closeness with others. The University of Chicago's National Opinion: Research Center found that people with five or more close friends are 50 percent more likely to describe themselves as "very happy" than respondents with fewer friends.
注重必要的心理需求。據(jù)密蘇里州哥倫比亞大學(xué)的心理學(xué)者肯尼·謝爾登的研究顯示,在那些能夠創(chuàng)造幸福和成就感的心理需求列表中,金錢排在最后一位。最為必要的4個(gè)需求是什么?自治一一感覺你的行動(dòng)都是自己選擇和自己認(rèn)可的;能力——感覺自己所做得是有意義的;自尊;與他人親密的感覺。芝加哥大學(xué)全國(guó)意見研究中心發(fā)現(xiàn),那些擁有 5個(gè)或者更多親密朋友的人比起那些朋友較少的人,在把自己描述為“非常快樂”的幾率要高出50%。
Help others. Professor Lyubomirsky has done studies in which students Were asked to practice altruism, doing five acts of kindness a week for six weeks. The participants reported a significant rise in happiness. Kind acts, she says, not only make you feel better about yourself, but foster a sense of interdependence and cooperation.
幫助他人。柳博米爾斯基教授曾做過(guò)這樣的研究,讓他的學(xué)生去練習(xí)幫助他人,在一周內(nèi)做5件善事,連續(xù)做6周。這些參與者報(bào)告說(shuō)他們的幸福感顯著提高了。她說(shuō),友善的行為不僅僅讓你自我感覺更好,并且培養(yǎng)了互相幫助、合作的意識(shí)。