Quora精選：如何看到一個人的真面目？

Q: What is the single most revealing thing about any person?

問：有什么事情最能揭示一個人的本質(zhì)？

Not something they can tell you, something you can observe.

不是別人告訴你的東西，而是自己能觀察到的。

Answered by Jill Uchiyama

Jill Uchiyama的回復：

I had a teacher who said it best.

我的一個老師說得很好。

You don't know who someone is until you see them under pressure.

只有在一個人處于壓力之下的時候，你才能真正了解他。

It is when we are under pressure that our true colors come out, when the ego's ass is put to the fire and we become the gateway between our survival self and doing what is humane and expressing integrity.

在壓力之下，我們的本性會暴露無遺。火燒屁股的時候，我們便到了抉擇當口，是選擇保全自己，還是表現(xiàn)自我和品質(zhì)。

If you think about it, it is really easy to be a nice person when there is no pressure in your life. It is easy to give money to those in need when you have it in your wallet. It is easy to smile when you're already laughing. It is easy to dance when you are in love with someone or with life itself. You don't mind donating money or doing extra favors when you have the time. Even arguing is ok when you are feeling fine otherwise.

如果仔細想想，當生活毫無壓力時，做個好人其實很容易。當你有錢的時候，接濟他人不是難事。當你已經(jīng)開懷大笑時，微笑就會變得輕而易舉。當你正和某人熱戀，或很熱愛生活時，你很容易就能手舞足蹈。你不會介意捐些錢，或是在閑暇時給他人一些額外的幫助。當你在其他方面感覺還不錯時，甚至連吵架都沒什么關(guān)系。

But, put some pressure on the same person and you may be face to face with a demon.

但是，如果給同一個人施加一些壓力，你可能就得跟魔鬼面對面了。

It happens to all of us. And it's humbling to see where we really are in relation to life.

我們每個人都碰到過這種情況?？吹轿覀冊谏钪械恼鎸嵜婷?，讓人感到十分慚愧。

Answered by Ishavasyam Dash

Ishavasyam Dash的回復：

By what they choose to do in their free time.

看他們閑下來的時候都會干什么。

There is popular belief that ‘true colours’ of a person are revealed under situations of stress and pressure and how they behave therein. However I am inclined to disagree. Look at nature itself – a rabbit is overall a harmless, furry little animal that minds its own business and nibbles on carrots. But if provoked, or attacked rabbits have been known to lunge, bite and scratch. If you had to write a behavioural report on the species would you highlight their nature basis their day-to-day patterns or outright judge on instances when they are cornered?

大家普遍認為，壓力之下的舉止會暴露一個人的本性。然而我并不贊同。從天性本身來看，兔子在絕大多數(shù)時候都是一種無害的、毛茸茸的小動物，它只顧著它自個兒那點事，啃啃胡蘿卜。但是如果它們被激怒或者被攻擊了，它們會沖過來咬你、抓你。如果你要寫一篇兔子的行為研究報告，你會著重寫它們發(fā)自天性的日常行為，還是根據(jù)它們被逼得狗急跳墻時的表現(xiàn)直接判斷？

Stress and pressure make base survival instincts kick in – and the result is not pretty. Different people have different coping mechanisms; and though some people may deal with bad situations more gracefully than others I don't think that should be the yardstick of measuring anyone. People might sulk, withdraw, scream, cry or maintain nonchalance – but I believe all that is momentary and in the situational context. It does not mean that those people are not nice.

壓力會激發(fā)基本的生存本能——這結(jié)果可不太好。人們各有各的應對機制，縱使某些人應對困境時比其他人更得體，我也不認為那應該成為普適的衡量標準。人可能會生悶氣，畏縮，尖叫，哭泣，或者無動于衷，但我相信這一切都只是當時那個情況下暫時的表現(xiàn)。這并不意味著這些人不好。

On the other hand, the people who are able to deal with pressure situations too well, are either very experienced in this regard or maybe apathetic or unemotional in general. I am sure all great leaders show this trait. They consciously learn it because they can't be losing their heads as this would demoralize their teams. People who lead armies into war are especially trained in maintaining calm in tough situations. Does this tell anything about how they are as people? Probably not.

另一方面，那些能游刃有余地應對壓力的人，要么在這方面經(jīng)驗豐富，要么總的來說就是個冷漠或者不動聲色的人。我相信，所有偉大的領(lǐng)導人都彰顯了這種特質(zhì)。他們會有意識地去學習這點，因為他們不能驚慌失措，否則整個團隊都會喪失信心。帶領(lǐng)軍隊上戰(zhàn)場的將領(lǐng)要經(jīng)過特別培訓，學習在身處困境的時候保持冷靜。這能說明他們是什么樣的人嗎？恐怕不能。

Similarly, on the other end of the spectrum, one cannot tell much about the nature when a person is very happy. The true nature would be masked behind glowing smiles and exceptionally good conduct. This too is momentary and needs to be viewed in the situational context.

類似的，從另一個方面來看，當一個人非常幸福快樂時，也很難看出他的本性。熱情洋溢的笑容和格外良好的舉止會掩飾一個人的本來面貌。這一樣是暫時的，需要放在當時的情景下去看。

I think the true nature of a person is revealed in life-as-usual circumstances when a person is not on an atypical emotional curve. These times make up for statistical majority in an average human’s life, and hence should be taken as the background when assessing the personality. How do you behave at the dinner table every evening? How do you spend your Sunday afternoons? How often do you meet and talk to friends and family? What do you usually talk about? How do you feel on your commute to work and back? Do you make way for someone who is in a rush? Are you a natural critique or someone who compliments easily?

我認為，當一個人的情緒波動不大時，他的本性會在日常生活中顯現(xiàn)出來。從統(tǒng)計學意義上來說，這占據(jù)了一個普通人生命里的絕大多數(shù)時光，因此在評價一個人時應該以此為背景。你每天晚上在餐桌上的表現(xiàn)如何？你周日午后都在做什么？你多久會與親友小聚暢談？通常在聊什么？你對每天趕著上下班的感覺如何？你會給一個行色匆匆的人讓道嗎？你天性愛批評還是熱衷于贊美他人？

Out of all these, I feel a good insight to a person can be had by knowing what they do with their free time. It’s very telling what a person chooses to do with time that is truly theirs.

出于以上幾點，我覺得，想深入了解一個人就得了解他在閑暇時會做些什么。在真正屬于他的時間里，他選擇去做什么往往很能說明問題。