百科知識(shí)視頻之煎蛋小學(xué)堂52 關(guān)于樹(shù)懶的真相

Here we will learn true facts about Sloths-es.The three-toed sloth is different from the two-toed sloth in that it has one more finger.Yes,that's confusing.

今天我們要來(lái)講講關(guān)于樹(shù)懶的真相。三趾樹(shù)懶和二趾樹(shù)懶的區(qū)別是它要多一根腳趾。是的 這很令人費(fèi)解。

Regardless,if you're named after the number of toes or fingers that you have,you know you haven't done all that much to stand out.The sloth has razor sharp claws on its fingers and it would be the world's most deadly predator,but only if the world slowed way the fuck down.

如果你的名字是按照你的手指或腳趾的數(shù)量來(lái)命名，或許你永遠(yuǎn)也沒(méi)機(jī)會(huì)鶴立雞群。樹(shù)懶手指上的爪子如剃須刀般鋒利 它一定會(huì)是世界上最致命的鐵血戰(zhàn)士 如果這個(gè)世界的腳步能TM的放慢一點(diǎn)。

As it is,the sloth mainly eats leaves because they tend not to run away.The only drawback being,they taste like leaves on average,the sloth can move around 3 feet per minute,which is an impressive 3 feet per minute faster than a dead sloth.The sloth spends most of its time in the trees.Although it will climb down once every seven days to urinate and defecate.

就像這樣樹(shù)懶基本只吃樹(shù)葉 因?yàn)闃?shù)葉大都不會(huì)逃跑。唯一的缺點(diǎn)就是 它們嘗起來(lái)就像樹(shù)葉 樹(shù)懶的平均行進(jìn)時(shí)速能達(dá)到每分鐘3英尺左右 這可要比一只死樹(shù)懶每分鐘快逆天的3英尺啊。樹(shù)懶的大部分時(shí)間都在樹(shù)上度過(guò)。但每過(guò)七天它也要爬下樹(shù)來(lái)撒個(gè)尿拉個(gè)粑粑。

To the insects living below,this is the worst day of the week,Like a tiny insect armageddon with a flood consisting of seven days of sloth urine,Most likely the sloth does not urinate when it's in the tree,because it's hanging upside down.Think about it.That would be messy.Now stop thinking about it.Why are still thinking about it? Seriously.You're disgusting.

對(duì)于樹(shù)下生活的昆蟲(chóng)來(lái)說(shuō)這是每周最崩潰的一天。就像是遭遇了一場(chǎng)被樹(shù)懶積蓄了七天的尿液崩堤的末日浩劫。這可能是因?yàn)闃?shù)懶在樹(shù)上都不怎么解手 因?yàn)樗鼈兌际堑箳熘?。想想吧?？隙虻囊凰俊，F(xiàn)在不要再想了。你干嘛還一直在想?說(shuō)真的。你真惡心。

Some sloths appear green because they have algae growing on their fur which provides them with camouflage.Which is the same excuse I would give if I moved so slow that algae grew on me."It's camouflage,mother fuck!""Mind your own business."The sloth is a relative of the anteater and the aardvark.

有些樹(shù)懶看起來(lái)是綠色的因?yàn)樗鼈兊拿祥L(zhǎng)有藻類植物 這給它們提供了偽裝保護(hù)。這同樣也是我為自己動(dòng)作太慢身上長(zhǎng)滿水藻而經(jīng)常找的借口。我這是偽裝 你懂個(gè)屁!“管好你自己吧”樹(shù)懶也是食蟻獸和土豚的親戚。

Science isn't sure how they became relatives,but they're sure that it involved a kinky night with an elephant.and a rattlesnake,if you're having a stressed out day,remember the sloth.They don't do shit and they haven't gone extinct.I'm sure you can afford to take a nap.Just don't pee if you're lying on your back.I know you were still thinking about it.

科學(xué)界也無(wú)法解釋它們是怎么勾搭上的 但他們相信月黑風(fēng)高的那一夜大象一定脫不了干系 還有響尾蛇 如果你這一天過(guò)的很辛苦 想想樹(shù)懶同學(xué)。它們鳥(niǎo)事不做一件都TM沒(méi)滅絕。我覺(jué)得你起碼能做到去睡個(gè)小覺(jué)。只要?jiǎng)e在躺著的時(shí)候撒尿就行了。我知道你還在想那事。