艾倫脫口秀01 主持奧斯卡的利與弊

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So the other day I told you what I did over this summer. And I forgot to mention something pretty important,pretty big, I can describe it in one word, Oscar.

昨天呢我跟大家分享了一下我的假期，然后我發(fā)現(xiàn)我忘了一條很重要很重要的消息 用一個(gè)詞來形容呢 就是 奧斯卡

My neighbor Oscar finally got his braces off. He has perfect teeth so he only has to wear the retainer for two years, so that's good.

我鄰居osca終于把他的牙套給取下來了 他現(xiàn)在牙非常整齊 所以只用再戴兩年的固定架就行了 對(duì)他來說是個(gè)好事

and in addition to that, I actually agreed to host the academy awards again this year.

另外我確實(shí)答應(yīng)了再次主持奧斯卡頒獎(jiǎng)典禮

So...I hosted in 2007, it was fun, it was an honor,and it's a big decision,you know ,and I...I really...they called and said

我2007年主持過一次 挺開心的 覺得很榮幸 當(dāng)然啦這也是一個(gè)很重大的決定 所以他們來電問我是否愿意再度出山時(shí)

how about it this year,and I was like,ehhh,it's a big decision,and I want to think about it.

我說 額 這是一個(gè)很重大的決定 我得需要點(diǎn)時(shí)間考慮考慮

And the way I deal with big decisions is,I think a lot of people do this, I make a pros and cons list.

我在做重大決定的時(shí)候一般都會(huì)列一個(gè)利弊清單 我相信很多人也都是這樣的吧

And I thought I would take you on a journey inside of my mind, which is scary, hold on.

我本打算帶你們到我得思維深處去逛一圈 可是太嚇人了 先hold住

And I though I'd read you some pros and cons from my list that I... so umm...

我還是曬出清單 把主持奧斯卡的利弊念給大家聽聽好了

This is my cvs receipt, this is not...

這是CVS商店的購物小票 不是我的清單

That's...sorry.

不好意思

I keep that with me in case I have to return anything,at all times,always,even during...when I do a show, I always have it with me.

我一般都會(huì)隨身攜帶小票以防要退貨 隨時(shí)隨地哦 哪怕是在錄節(jié)目 也不例外

Now it's in my sock.

不在兜里就肯定在襪子里了

That's where I keep my pros and cons list.

我的利弊清單一般都藏在這

Now I'm gonna have to change my hiding place,because...

不過現(xiàn)在我得再找個(gè)新地方藏了 因?yàn)?/p>

Ok, so here's a pro: I get to perform in fromt of 60 millon people.

好了 第一個(gè)好處是 我將會(huì)在六千萬觀眾前一展迷人風(fēng)采

Con: Oh my god, 60 million people watch that thing.

弊：額滴神吶 六千萬人要看這個(gè) 壓力好大

pro: I'll be invited to all the cool oscar after parties.

利：頒獎(jiǎng)禮后我會(huì)受邀參加各大歡慶派對(duì)

con: I'd like to be tucked in by 7:30.

弊：可是我想在7點(diǎn)半前就上床睡覺

pro: Meryl Streep could get a record 17th Oscar Nomination.

利：Merry streep有可能創(chuàng)造17次奧斯卡提名的逆天記錄

con: Hashtag we're over it,Meryl.

弊：我們已經(jīng)無感了

pro: A lot of fancy designers will wanna approach me and want me to wear a beautiful,expensive gown of theirs.

利：到時(shí)候會(huì)有很多高端設(shè)計(jì)師來找我 想讓我穿他們?cè)O(shè)計(jì)的大氣上檔次禮服

con: Ain't no way in hell I'm wearing a gown.

弊：頭可斷血可流裙子不可穿

pro: I've done that before,the second time should be even better.

利：我以前主持過一次 那么第二次的話應(yīng)該會(huì)更受歡迎

con: My second sitcom got canceled after five minutes.

弊：我的第二部情景喜劇當(dāng)年只播了5分鐘就被砍了

pro: If I'm on stage hosting,I won't be sitting on my couch drinking margaritas.

利：如果我在臺(tái)上主持的話 我就不會(huì)窩在沙發(fā)里喝瑪格麗特了

con: If I'm on stage hosting,I won't be sitting on my couch drinking margaritas.

弊：如果我在臺(tái)上主持的話 我就不會(huì)窩在沙發(fā)里喝瑪格麗特了

pro: The theater holds 3000 seats.

利：整個(gè)劇院配了3000個(gè)觀眾席

con: It's gonna take 45 minutes to dance throught all those aisles.

弊：我得花45分鐘才能在所有過道里都跳一遍

Which is crazy,'cause... look how... It doesn't take me that long to dance through here.

那也太折騰了吧 因?yàn)?你們看看 在這里跳舞就用不了多久