“但我抵抗住了。我不知道自己是怎么做到的。我強迫自己不要停下來等你,不要跟著你離開學校。在外頭,當我再也聞不到你的時候,我可以更容易地思考,更容易地作出正確的選擇。快到家的時候,我讓別的人下了車——我太羞愧了,不敢告訴他們我的意志是那么的薄弱。他們只知道出了非常嚴重的狀況——然后我直奔醫(yī)院找卡萊爾,告訴他我要離開。”
I stared in surprise.
我震驚地看著他 。
"I traded cars with him — he had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. I didn't dare to gohome, to face Esme. She wouldn't have let me go without a scene. She would have tried toconvince me that it wasn't necessary…
“我和他交換了車子——他的車子有滿滿一箱油,而我不想停下來。我不敢回家,不敢面對艾思梅。如果我去見她,她一定不會讓我走的。她會竭力說服我這毫無必要……”
"By the next morning I was in Alaska." He sounded ashamed, as if admitting a greatcowardice. "I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances… but I was homesick. I hatedknowing I'd upset Esme, and the rest of them, my adopted family. In the pure air of themountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to runaway. I'd dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I wasstrong. Who were you, an insignificant little girl" — he grinned suddenly — "to chase me fromthe place I wanted to be? So I came back…" He stared off into space.
“第二天早上我到了阿拉斯加。”他聽起來很羞愧,就好像在承認自己是多么的怯懦一樣。“我在那里待了兩天,和一些老相識在一起……但我很想家。我討厭想到,我讓艾思梅傷心了,還有余下的幾個,我不是親人勝似親人的家人。在高山上純凈的空氣里,很難想象你的味道是那么的不可抗拒。我說服自己,逃跑是一種示弱的行為。在此之前我能很好地抵抗誘或,雖然它們都沒有這樣強烈,甚至沒有這樣接近,但我很堅強。而你,一個不起眼的小女孩”——他忽然咧嘴一笑——“能把我從我想去的地方趕走?所以我回來了……”他看向空中。