欲望都市第六季 禍不單行 The Post-It Always Sticks Twice

[00:00.00] 12.08.02 08:50:54 [00:02.00]聽美劇學(xué)英語(MP3+LRC) [00:13.88]欲望城市 [00:35.52](性愛專家凱莉布雷蕭 并且勇于發(fā)問) [00:44.08]“禍不單行” [00:50.32]New York City is a great pIace to be engaged. 紐約市是個(gè)適合訂婚的好地方 [00:58.68]Miss? -小姐 -抱歉，你要搭計(jì)程車嗎? [01:01.36]l'm sorry. Did you want this cab? [01:03.68]-Why, thank you. -Sure. -謝謝 -別客氣 [01:09.84]And it's an even better pIace to be enraged. 它也是個(gè)令人憤怒的地方 [01:15.48]You're so busy! 你真的那么忙嗎? [01:33.00]-Boy, do l have news. -So do l. -天啊，我有事要告訴你們 -我也是 [01:34.28]l didn't want to say anything until we were all together... 我希望等大家到了后再說 哈利跟我定下來了 [01:37.44]but Harry and l made up and he asked me to marry him. [01:41.36]-Oh, my God. Congratulations! -That's great. -他跟我求婚 -我的天啊 [01:43.60]-恭喜 -看看那枚戒指 [01:44.20]Look at that ring. [01:46.92]l know. He had it made based on the one that Richard Burton gave Elizabeth Taylor. 我知道，他根據(jù)李察波頓送給 伊麗莎白泰勒的戒指訂做的 [01:49.28]Well, it is fabulous. 真的好漂亮 [01:54.24]Even more fabulous than your first one. 比你第一枚訂婚戒指還漂亮 [01:57.44]So, Carrie, what was your news? 你有什么事要告訴我們? [02:00.32]Berger broke up with me on a Post-it. 柏格用便利貼跟我分手 [02:03.80]On a Post-it? 便利貼? [02:05.76]Yep. Read it and weep, my friends. [02:09.16]你們看了一定會(huì)哭 [02:09.64]''l'm sorry. l can't. Don't hate me.'' “抱歉，我辦不到，別恨我” 那個(gè)沒良心的混蛋 [02:15.04]The motherfucker's concise. [02:15.20]l thought you were going to break up with him. -你跟他提過分手 -我該堅(jiān)持的 [02:18.00]Yeah, l was, and l should have... [02:18.92]but he said that he wanted to try to work things out: 但他說他希望“重新來過” [02:24.48]a.k.a. leave in the middle of the night. 結(jié)果他半夜落跑 [02:26.64]A Post-it. That's infuriating. 用便利貼?太過分了 [02:28.92]l remember when breaking up over the phone was considered bad form. 用電話分手就已經(jīng)夠過分了 [02:33.24]l once was broken up with by a guy's doorman. 我以前有個(gè)男朋友 叫門房傳話跟我分手 [02:36.68]''l'm sorry, Miss Hobbes. Jonathan won't be coming down, ever.'' “抱歉，霍布斯小姐 強(qiáng)納森永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)下樓” [02:39.20]l miss having a doorman. -我想念跟門房胡搞的日子 -你要打電話給他嗎? [02:42.56]-Are you gonna call him? -No. [02:46.32]l am not going to dignify his behavior with a response. 不，我不會(huì)跟他吵 讓他覺得自己的決定是對的 [02:48.36]l am not even going to leave him... 我甚至不會(huì)在他的答錄機(jī) 憤怒地指責(zé)他 [02:50.00]one of those angry answering machine messages. [02:52.72]''Hi, it's me. You're a dick!'' “是我，你是個(gè)王八蛋” [02:56.88]But it sure felt good saying it right now, even to you. 即使是在你們面前 光這么說我就覺得出了口氣 [02:58.24]That's what we're here for. -誰叫我們是你的朋友呢 -我很遺憾 [03:01.36]-l'm sorry. -Yeah, l'm sorry, too. 我也很遺憾 談感情根本是在浪費(fèi)時(shí)間 [03:02.64]That relationship was a complete waste of time. [03:07.52]lt's never a complete waste of time. 才不是那樣 你應(yīng)該可以學(xué)到教訓(xùn) [03:07.88]Even in the worst relationship, you always learn something. [03:10.48]You might not wanna say that to a woman carrying a loaded Post-it. 別對拿到便利貼 分手字條的女人那么說 [03:14.40]But everything happens for a reason, even if you don't know what it is yet. 凡事天注定 雖然現(xiàn)在你不知道原因 [03:17.64]That's such bullshit. -那是在胡扯 -才怪，看看我 [03:20.64]lt's not. Look at me. [03:23.24]lf l had never married Trey, then l never would have gotten divorced... 如果我沒有嫁給崔 我就不會(huì)離婚 [03:27.40]and l would have never met my divorce lawyer, Harry... 我不會(huì)認(rèn)識(shí)我的離婚律師哈利 現(xiàn)在我不可能訂婚 [03:29.96]and l wouldn't be engaged now. [03:36.76]Paper covers rock. 你還是安慰不了我 [03:39.52]Maybe everything does happen for a reason. 或許凡事天注定 [03:40.24]lf Berger hadn't left me... 要不是柏格 用這么卑劣的手法跟我分手 [03:43.40]in the most horrible way anyone could ever imagine... [03:45.60]l wouldn't be free to walk you to your hair appointment. 我不會(huì)有空陪你去弄頭發(fā) [03:48.76]We're all being protected by the universe. 命運(yùn)早就決定好了一切 [03:50.44]When it comes to men, you may have had it right all along. 你對男人的看法是對的 別愛上他們就不會(huì)傷心 [03:52.76]Keep it light. Don't get too involved. Don't get too hurt. [03:57.40]Exactly. lf you're never someone's girlfriend, you can never be someone's ex-girlfriend. 沒錯(cuò)，沒當(dāng)過某人的女朋友 你就不會(huì)是他的前女友 [04:00.52]You know what? 我不會(huì)再為那個(gè)薄情郎 [04:02.76]l'm gonna spend as much time mourning this relationship... [04:05.48]as he spent ending it. 感到難過了 [04:10.04]Okay, l'm over it. 我已經(jīng)忘了他，今晚去玩吧 我們可以去哪里? [04:12.52]Let's go somewhere fantastic tonight and have a fantastic time. [04:13.72]What can we do that would be fantastic? [04:16.12]l know. l'm taking you to Bed. -我知道了，我們?nèi)ァ吧洗病?-我沒有那么恨男人 [04:21.28]l'm not that off men. [04:20.48]No, Bed. lt's a new club opening tonight. “上床”是今晚 開幕的新俱樂部，我們一起去 [04:24.24]We'll all go. l think l have the invitation. 我應(yīng)該有邀請函 [04:27.80]Listen to me being all hurt. 你跟那么多男人分手 現(xiàn)在還是很快樂 [04:30.52]Look how many men have broken up with you, and you're fine. [04:33.72]我們?nèi)ァ吧洗病卑? [04:39.56]PeopIe say everything happens for a reason. 有人說凡事天注定 [04:42.44]These peopIe are usuaIIy women. 這些人通常是 [04:43.44]And these women are usuaIIy sorting through a break-up. 經(jīng)歷分手悲痛的女人 [04:47.32]It seems that men can get out of a reIationship without even a goodbye. 男人可以不說再見就離開 [04:52.60]But apparentIy, women have to either get married... 女人不是結(jié)婚，就是得到教訓(xùn) [04:55.64]or Iearn something. [04:56.84]Why are we in such a rush to move from confused to Confucius? 為什么我們要急著 從混亂中找到啟示呢? [05:03.72]Do we search for Iessons to Iessen the pain? 我們得尋找教訓(xùn) 來減輕心里的悲傷嗎? [05:07.40]MeanwhiIe, Samantha was at home dressing a man, for a change. 同時(shí)莎曼珊改變做法 在家里幫一個(gè)男人打扮 [05:11.96]l called some designers and l told them that the Absolut Hunk... 我跟一些設(shè)計(jì)師說絕對猛男 [05:13.04]was going to do TRL on MTV, and they jumped ASAP. 要參加MTV的“現(xiàn)場點(diǎn)歌” 他們都跳了起來 [05:18.40]Gucci, YSL, D&G. Take your pick. 古馳、圣羅蘭、杜嘉班納 隨便你挑 [05:24.28]You know, l'm not really comfortable wearing labels. 我不習(xí)慣穿名牌衣服 [05:26.68]lf it's okay with you, l thought l'd just wear some jeans and this. 如果你同意的話 我想穿牛仔褲跟這個(gè) [05:30.28]That'll work, too. 那也可以 你看起來一定會(huì)迷死 [05:33.12]You are going to be the fantasy of every adolescent girl... [05:37.20]and sexually confused boy in America. 美國所有少女跟少年男同志 [05:40.68]How'd l get hooked up with such an amazing girlfriend? 我怎么會(huì) 有你這么棒的女朋友? [05:45.48]And that was a IabeI Samantha wasn't comfortabIe wearing. 莎曼珊不喜歡 別人那樣子稱呼她 [05:49.88]You should get ready. The car will be here any minute. 快去準(zhǔn)備，車子隨時(shí)會(huì)到 [05:52.04]-You sure you can't come? -l can't. l promised Carrie and the girls. -你真的沒辦法去? -我答應(yīng)了我的朋友 [05:54.08]But l will catch the replay tonight. -我會(huì)看今晚的重播 -我晚一點(diǎn)能打電話給你嗎? [05:58.76]-Should l hook up with you later? -No. [06:02.68]Go out with the MTV crowd and have fun. 跟現(xiàn)場觀眾出去好好玩吧 [06:03.68]You're the Absolut Hunk. Work it. 你是絕對猛男，加油 [06:07.24]And as your publicist, let me just say... 身為你的公關(guān)，我得提醒你 [06:12.72]calling someone your girlfriend isn't a good idea right now. 你最好別說你有女朋友 [06:16.16]-Someone, or you? -Either way. -連你都不行? -沒錯(cuò) [06:18.36]So when anyone asks if you have a girlfriend... 如果有人問你有沒有女朋友 [06:23.64]you should say you are still looking and haven't found anyone special yet. 你得說 你還沒有找到你的真命天女 [06:28.04]-That's what you want? -That's what l want. -你要我那么說? -沒錯(cuò) [06:34.80]But l do insist you top up that tank with some Dior sunglasses. 但我堅(jiān)持 你得戴上迪奧的太陽眼鏡 [06:38.84]lt's MTV. lf you're not wearing something the kids can't afford... 如果你不用些 小鬼們買不起的東西 [06:43.60]how will they know to look up to you? 他們要怎么 以你為奮斗的榜樣? [06:45.40]There. Much better. 這樣子好多了 [06:50.40]That night, as CharIotte was deciding what to wear... 夏綠蒂在挑衣服 [06:54.36]she noticed that everything went with her new engagement ring... 她發(fā)現(xiàn)每件衣服 都能搭配她的鉆戒 [06:56.36]except her oId wedding dress. 她的舊婚紗除外 [07:02.80]MeanwhiIe, in another cIoset.... 同時(shí)另一個(gè)人也在挑衣服… [07:06.16]l don't think l can go. l'm not feeling so hot. 我沒辦法去 我真的提不起勁 [07:09.28]-Are you sick? -No, I mean, IiteraIIy. -你生病了嗎? -不，我是說我丑斃了 [07:11.48]Openings of hot new clubs are for hot, childless people. 新俱樂部的開幕日 只適合沒孩子的俊男美女們 [07:13.36]l'm not even one of the hot mommies at Mommy & Me. 連在媽媽教室 我都稱不上是個(gè)辣媽 [07:18.32]l don't want to have to resort to this. 我不想這么做 若有需要我會(huì)用失戀去威脅你 [07:18.12]But if l have to, l will play the Post-it card. [07:21.56]Just explain to me why l have to leave my house to go to Bed. 告訴我為什么我要去“上床” [07:25.56]Because this can't be the day that l was broken up with by a Post-it. 今天我被人用一張便利貼甩了 [07:30.56]This has to be the day that something else happened. 但我相信一定會(huì)發(fā)生一些好事 [07:34.92]How about the day your friend discovered... 今天我發(fā)現(xiàn) 我的衣服上全沾了口水 [07:36.92]all her clothes are covered in spit-up? [07:36.100]You are going. No excuses. -你非去不可，別找藉口 -好吧 [07:41.16]Okay. [07:45.68]And speaking of no excuses, there they were.: her skinny jeans. 說到藉口 她發(fā)現(xiàn)了她的緊身牛仔褲 [07:49.80]The jeans every woman keeps in the vain hope... 每個(gè)女人都會(huì)留著這些牛仔褲 希望有一天能再穿上它們 [07:51.60]that someday she'II fit into them again. [08:14.48]-My God, what are you doing here? -No, you did not come to this club! [08:18.96]Ladies, this is a miracle. 小姐們，這是個(gè)奇跡 我穿上了緊身牛仔褲 [08:20.16]l am in my skinny jeans. [08:23.12]l haven't fit into these since 1985... 1985年后我就無法穿上它 那是因?yàn)槲页霈F(xiàn)了感染 [08:26.92]and that is only because l had mono. [08:30.16]Miranda, l've never noticed before, but you've got one hot ass. 我一直沒有發(fā)現(xiàn) [08:30.80]-你的屁股美呆了 -真的嗎? [08:34.68]-Really? -Yeah! -你看起來很漂亮 -你是怎么辦到的? [08:36.76]-And you look good. -How'd you do it? [08:37.36]l got pregnant, became a single mother, and stopped having any time to eat. 我成了單親媽媽，沒空吃東西 [08:41.40]That's a diet l won't be trying. -我不會(huì)用那種方法減肥 -我不敢相信我能穿上它 [08:42.100]l can't believe l am in my skinny jeans. l am never taking them off. [08:47.40]Charlotte, can l wear these to your wedding? 我永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)脫掉它 我能穿著它參加你的婚禮嗎? [08:51.84]-l'm kidding. -No, it's just.... -我是在開玩笑 -那只是… [08:52.76]l just feel kind of silly that l made such a big fuss about my ring earlier. 我覺得 我不該跟你們炫耀我的戒指 [08:58.00]Honey, a diamond that big deserves a parade. 能拿到那么大的鉆戒 你應(yīng)該上街去游行 [08:60.48]But this is the second time around. 但這是我第二次結(jié)婚 我辦過盛大婚禮，你們都去了 [09:02.08]l already did the showing of the ring and the big wedding. You were there. [09:05.04]lt was lovely. 它真的很棒 [09:08.04]So this time... 我決定 這次要辦個(gè)精致有品味的婚禮 [09:09.96]l've decided that it should just be really small and tasteful. [09:12.80]-So no denim? -Right. -我不能穿牛仔褲去? -沒錯(cuò) [09:14.32]And l don't want to disappoint you: 我不想讓你們失望 但我決定不請伴娘 [09:16.72]l've decided not to have bridesmaids. [09:22.48]Hallelujah! -哈利路亞 -我們?nèi)ァ吧洗病卑? [09:24.16]Okay, let's go to Bed. [09:26.56]What do you want, dear? [09:29.24]Since peopIe often go to bars to try to get someone into bed... 人們常到酒吧尋找上床的對象 [09:33.08]it was onIy a matter of time tiII someone cut out the middIeman... 遲早會(huì)有人把床搬進(jìn)酒吧里 [09:36.00]and put the beds in bars. [09:39.16]Now this is my kind of place. -這個(gè)地方太適合我了 -我以為他們只是說說而已 [09:40.68]And l thought they were being ironic. [09:42.96]lf l had known it was gonna be like this, l would have brought my bite guard. 早知道這里是這個(gè)樣子 我會(huì)帶牙套來 [09:50.80]-Bed for four, please. -All the beds are booked right now. -我們一共四個(gè)人 -所有的床已經(jīng)被訂走了 [09:53.40]Damn, that always happens to me. -該死，我老遇上這種事 -我是貴賓，莎曼珊瓊斯 [09:55.28]We're on the VlP list. Samantha Jones. [09:58.56]Perfect. l'll be right back. 太棒了，我馬上回來 [10:02.32]l have to find a bathroom. l need to pee. 我得去上洗手間，我要尿尿 [10:04.04]Really? Or do you just wanna stare at your ass in the mirror? 真的嗎?還是你想照鏡子 看看自己的屁股? [10:09.28]Well, that, too. -我也會(huì)那么做 -搖一下屁股 [10:10.76]Shake it, sister. [10:17.64]-We're ready. Follow me. -That was fast. -已經(jīng)準(zhǔn)備好了，請跟我來 -他們的動(dòng)作真快 [10:20.52]What can l say, l know how to work it in Bed. 我該怎么說呢? 我的床上功夫一級棒 [10:31.16]-And l didn't even have to buy you dinner. -l'm sorry, someone pushed me. -我甚至不必請你吃晚餐 -有人推了我一把 [10:34.36]You want me to have them killed? -我該殺了他嗎? -你會(huì)那么做嗎? [10:34.52]-Would you? -Just say when. -你只要告訴我什么時(shí)候 -什么時(shí)候 [10:36.24]-When. -Okay, l'm bluffing. -好吧，我是在吹牛 -我知道男人只剩一張嘴 [10:39.88]Yeah, l knew you were all talk. [10:41.08]-Yeah. l'm Peter. -Miranda. -我是彼得 -米蘭達(dá) [10:46.84]And thank you for letting me crash. -謝謝你讓我躺下來 -你為什么不留下來? [10:47.04]Why don't you hang out? [10:50.44]lt's not that often l have such a beautiful woman in bed with me. 我不是常常能跟美女躺在床上 [10:56.32]Okay, but move over. That's my side. 好吧，過去一點(diǎn) 我習(xí)慣躺在這邊 [11:06.96]All the men in here seem kind of old. -這里的男人都好老 -那是因?yàn)槟愀访芩乖诮煌? [11:07.44]-That's because you're dating Smith. -Who's basically a zygote. [11:11.64]l'm not dating him, l'm fucking him. -他太幼齒了 -我沒跟他交往，只跟他上床 [11:13.08]Now l'm looking for someone else to fuck. 現(xiàn)在我想找別人跟我上床 [11:17.88]Well, l think you may have come to the right place. 你來對地方了 [11:19.24]This place is awesome. [11:23.32]Oh, no. lt's Berger's friend. -不，是柏格的朋友 -在哪里? [11:25.40]-Where? -ln the next bed. 就在隔壁，天啊，我恨紐約 今晚沒有其他俱樂部開幕嗎? [11:28.04]God, l hate New York. ls there no other club opening tonight? [11:33.36]-What should l do? -lgnore them. -我該怎么辦? -當(dāng)做沒看見 [11:34.76]No, l can't. lt'll get back to Berger that l acted childish. 不，話傳回柏格那里 他會(huì)覺得我太孩子氣了 [11:40.04]Just go over there and say hi. 去跟他們打招呼 裝做你已經(jīng)不在乎柏格了 [11:42.56]Act like Berger is the last thing on your mind. [11:43.72]Right. l'll take the high road. 對，我要表現(xiàn)得很有風(fēng)度 [11:47.72]l'll be calm, classy, and just say hello. 裝做沒事 有氣質(zhì)地跟他們打招呼 [11:53.64]-Billy, hi. -Hey, Carrie. -你好，比利 -凱莉 [12:01.24]-Hi, how are you? -Fucking great. -你好嗎? -好得不得了 [12:01.60]Chris, Andrew, this is Berger's girlfriend, Carrie. 克里斯、安德魯 她是柏格的女朋友凱莉 [12:05.28]ls Berger with you? 柏格跟你一起來嗎? [12:10.44]This is kind of uncomfortable... 我真的很不愿意這么說 但我們分手了 [12:14.16]but we broke up this morning. [12:15.80]-是今天早上的事 -我真的很遺憾 [12:19.52]l'm sorry to hear that. [12:21.92]Yeah, l knew you guys had all kinds of problems. 我聽說你們有很多問題 [12:25.44]Yeah. [12:30.44]And he was bad in bed. 他的床上功夫太爛了 [12:34.12]You look great, Billy. 你看起來棒極了，比利 [12:39.68]Did she just say he was bad in bed? [12:41.08]You know that angry message l didn't wanna leave on Berger's machine? 我把不敢跟柏格說的話 告訴他的朋友了 [12:45.44]l just left it on his friend. [12:45.96]-What happened? -l took the lowest possible road. -發(fā)生了什么事? -我表現(xiàn)得太沒有風(fēng)度了 [12:50.12]l told him Berger was bad in bed, which isn't even true. 我告訴他柏格在床上根本不行 但事實(shí)上不是那樣的 [12:53.08]Two times! Don't you forget anything? 兩次，你忘了嗎? [12:57.20]Why did you say that? -你為什么要那么說? -我不知道，我是脫口而出 [12:59.48]lt just came out. [13:01.24]lt's understandable. You're suffering from Post-it traumatic stress syndrome. 你是得了 便利貼創(chuàng)傷后壓力癥候群 [13:03.04]l need to find a way to erase that message. -我得跟他們解釋清楚 -快去吧 [13:06.40]Go back over there and explain. [13:10.40]Just tell them you're hurt and that you didn't mean it. -就說你很傷心，不是故意的 -現(xiàn)在我得承認(rèn)我很傷心? [13:13.40]Great, now l have to admit that l'm hurt? [13:14.80]First, a little nerve Clicquot. 先喝杯香檳消除緊張 [13:30.96]關(guān)于我剛剛說的事 那太可怕了，也不是真的 [13:33.48]That thing l said before... terrible and not true. [13:36.64]He was fine in bed. Great, in fact. 他的床上功夫很不錯(cuò) 事實(shí)上他棒呆了 [13:40.72]Fireworks, rockets. 令我欲仙欲死 [13:44.28]l don't even know why l said that. 我不知道為什么我要那么說 [13:46.36]l'm hurt, okay? 我很傷心，好嗎? [13:50.64]Sure. Break-ups are tough. 當(dāng)然，分手會(huì)讓人很難過 [13:53.32]Yes, under normal circumstances they are tough. 在正常的情況下的確是那樣 但這次我不只是難過 [13:58.04]And in this case, tougher. [14:01.08]Look, l don't wanna drag you into this... 我不想把你扯進(jìn)這件事來 但是… [14:05.68]but Berger broke up with me on a Post-it. 柏格用便利貼跟我分手 [14:11.44]l know as Berger's friend you can't have a normal reaction... 我知道身為柏格的朋友 你不能表現(xiàn)得太憤怒 [14:17.12]but just so you know, the normal reaction has been.... 但正常的反應(yīng)應(yīng)該是這樣的 [14:22.48]Not that l'm going around telling everyone, just some girlfriends. 我不是個(gè)廣播電臺(tái) 只跟一些朋友提起這件事 [14:26.36]You know, l'm trying to understand why someone would do that. 我想知道為什么會(huì)有人這么做 [14:32.44]-Well, maybe he was afraid. -lnteresting. How so? 或許他是害怕 [14:35.40]Women can get really angry. -真有趣，怎么會(huì)呢? -女人都會(huì)大發(fā)脾氣 [14:36.80]l assure you, l would have been very understanding. 我跟你保證 我會(huì)表現(xiàn)出諒解的樣子 [14:41.56]-Right. -Excuse me? -是啊 -你是什么意思? [14:45.56]You all say that, but then you just freak and get all psycho-bitch. 女人都會(huì)那么說 但她們會(huì)抓狂變成瘋婆子 [14:48.20]Really? 真的嗎?所以那是我們的錯(cuò) [14:50.08]So now it's our fault? [14:54.00]All we're saying is there really is no good way... 我們認(rèn)為 情人是無法好聚好散的 [14:55.44]to break up with someone, is there? [14:59.44]lt's funny you should mention that, Billy, because actually, there is. 你會(huì)那么說真的太有趣了 比利，但你錯(cuò)了 [15:02.04]You can have the guts and the courtesy to tell a woman to her face... 你們應(yīng)該勇敢而禮貌地 [15:04.24]當(dāng)面告訴女人你不想再見到她 [15:06.80]that you no longer wanna see her. [15:08.80]Call me crazy... 你可以說我瘋了 但你們可以好好地說出分手 [15:10.48]but l think that you can make a point of ending your relationship... [15:14.36]in a manner that does not include... 不必透過電子郵件、門房 或是無緣無故地失蹤 [15:16.12]an e-mail, a doorman, or a missing persons report. [15:18.20]l think you could all get over your fear of looking like the bad guy... 你們不該害怕當(dāng)壞人 [15:23.80]and actually have the uncomfortable break-up conversation... 勇敢地跟另一半談分手 [15:27.36]because here's what: 因?yàn)樵较胩颖?越會(huì)讓女人覺得你是壞人 [15:30.76]Avoiding that is what makes you the bad guy. [15:33.64]-And just so you know, Alan-- -Andrew. -你知道嗎?亞倫 -是安德魯 [15:35.00]Most women aren't angry, irrational psychos. 大部分的女人 不是憤怒不講理的瘋婆子 [15:39.52]We just want an ending to a relationship... 我們只想結(jié)束一段情 [15:41.60]that is thoughtful and decent... 那應(yīng)該是體貼高雅的 還得尊重我們擁有過的一切 [15:46.68]and honors what we had together. [15:49.76]So my point, Billy, is this: 比利，我認(rèn)為情人間 的確可以好聚好散 [15:52.36]There is a good way to break up with someone... [15:52.100]and it doesn't include a Post-it! 用便利貼分手太卑鄙了 [15:60.36]Okay. 好吧 [16:10.44]Much better. -那樣子好多了 -真的嗎?我們得離開這里 [16:10.04]You think? We have to get out of here immediately. [16:17.68]So, what, you have a boyfriend? 怎么樣?你有男朋友嗎? [16:21.24]-Me, no. -Right. -我嗎?不 -是啊 [16:22.96]-l don't. -Come on, how's that possible? -我真的沒有 -少來了，怎么可能? [16:32.08]l have no idea. -我不知道 -我也不知道，你很性感 [16:32.20]Well, neither do l. You're hot. [16:36.48]Hi, sorry. We're leaving. 抱歉，我們要離開了 我剛明白千萬別帶著怒氣上床 [16:40.72]l just learned you should never go to Bed angry. [16:43.24]Well.... 好吧 [16:46.88]很高興能認(rèn)識(shí)你 [16:50.88]-lt was really great meeting you. -lt was good to meet you. l'll see you. 我也是，后會(huì)有期 [16:56.48]-And thanks. -For what? -謝謝 -為什么? [17:04.48]Okay, so l'm angry. So those guys will tell Berger that l'm angry. 我很生氣，他們會(huì)告訴柏格 但我已經(jīng)不在乎了 [17:08.28]l can live with that. 來吧，讓我吸一口 [17:07.60]Come on, bro, give me a hit. [17:10.44]You wanna pass that back? [17:12.56]Be good, ladies. [17:16.16]-Do you smell that? -Pot. -你聞到了嗎? -是大麻 [17:18.40]-Let's get high. -l'd get high. -我們?nèi)ニ幌?-我想爽一下 [17:21.28]Wait, are you serious? -你是認(rèn)真的嗎? -當(dāng)然 [17:23.16]Yes, that's exactly what my mind needs: cloudiness. 現(xiàn)在的我 需要讓腦袋變得一片空白 [17:28.36]l'm still too lucid on the facts of the day and night. 我對生活太認(rèn)真了 我們上次抽大麻是什么時(shí)候? [17:30.96]When was the last time you smoked pot? [17:33.40]l think l was wearing these jeans. -那時(shí)我還穿著這件牛仔褲 -我不抽大麻 [17:34.100]-l'm not smoking pot. -Post-it. [17:38.00]-是啊 -我們要去哪里弄大麻? [17:39.60]How do we even get any? 我可以打電話給我的中盤 但他去度假了 [17:42.16]l'd call my dealer, but he's at the Cape. [17:44.76]Damn those dealers and their summer houses. 去他的中盤跟別墅 [17:46.16]l'll ask those guys. 我去問那些家伙 [17:50.92]Excuse me, fellas. 對不起 [17:51.68]對不起 [17:59.40]My friends and l were wondering.... 我朋友跟我想問你們… [18:03.88]l like her in those jeans. -我喜歡她穿牛仔褲的樣子 -跟陌生人買大麻安全嗎? [18:03.32]ls it safe to buy pot from strangers? [18:06.40]They're not strangers. They're our new friends with pot. 他們不是陌生人 他們是我們新交的大麻朋友 [18:08.08]-Okay. -You're such an idiot, dude. [18:14.88]They're going around the corner to Drown the Hound. 他們要到 街角的“淹死狗”酒吧 [18:18.84]There's a guy there who deals. 那里有個(gè)家伙賣大麻 我泡上那個(gè)眼鏡仔 [18:20.32]And l get the one with the glasses. [18:22.24]My, when she scores, she scores. All right. 天啊，沒有她要不到的東西 太棒了 [18:28.12]-There you go. -Thanks a lot, Tommy. [18:34.76]''Drown the Hound.'' And l thought they were being ironic. “淹死狗” 我還以為他們是在開玩笑 [18:42.24]-l see our guys. -Yeah! Go get 'em. -我看到他們了 -去拿我們的… [18:45.60]lf that last place was called ''Bed,'' then this should be called ''Smell.'' 如果那個(gè)地方叫做“上床” 這里該叫做“臭死人” [18:50.04]Hold your nose. l promised Smith l'd watch him on TRL... 你們自便吧，我答應(yīng)史密斯 會(huì)看他上“現(xiàn)場點(diǎn)歌” [18:54.96]and this dump has a TV. 這個(gè)鬼地方有電視 [18:59.80]-What have they got all over the floor? -Peanut shells. 地板上是什么東西? [19:00.68]-花生殼 -為什么? [19:03.80]-Why? -l don't know. 我不知道，花生殼出現(xiàn)在這里 也是有原因的嗎? [19:05.76]Do peanut shells have to happen for a reason? [19:09.84]What can l get you? -有什么需要我效勞的? -這是20塊 [19:09.56]Here's $20. l assume, in a place like this, that covers three drinks... 那應(yīng)該夠買三杯酒 我還想轉(zhuǎn)臺(tái) [19:15.80]and a channel change. [19:16.60]Does the bride need another Jell-O shot? 新娘要再來杯果凍甜酒嗎? [19:18.40]-No, l can't! -Yes! [19:24.68]-Great! -One more. -再來一杯 -看看她們，她們好快樂 [19:25.16]Look at them, so happy. [19:32.40]Hey, sweetie, what's wrong? -甜心，怎么了? -真希望我沒有結(jié)過婚 [19:34.12]l just.... l wish l'd never been married before. [19:37.00]But if you hadn't married Trey, you wouldn't have met Harry. 但那樣你就不會(huì)認(rèn)識(shí)哈利… [19:42.64]l know. lt's just... l hate that this is my second ring. 我知道 但我不喜歡這是我第二枚婚戒 [19:44.96]And that this is my second marriage. 這是我第二次結(jié)婚 [19:48.32]l hate that l finally found the love of my life... 我找到真愛卻不能大肆慶祝 [19:49.60]and l can't celebrate it in a big, big way. [19:52.100]You can do whatever you want. 你想做什么都可以 [19:56.24]No, l can't. lt's inappropriate. 不行，那么做太不合禮儀了 [20:01.56]Excuse me, hi. Would you take a picture of me and my girlfriends? 對不起，你能幫我們拍照嗎? 我朋友要結(jié)婚了 [20:05.44]She's getting married. -沒問題 -謝謝 [20:07.52]-Sure. -Thank you. [20:12.76]You know, she got engaged last night. 她昨晚訂婚了 [20:16.16]-Congratulations. -No, it's my second. -恭喜 -不，這是我第二次結(jié)婚 [20:19.84]She's getting married to a wonderful man. And look at this rock. 她要嫁給一個(gè)好男人 看看她的戒指 [20:23.28]Oh, wow! [20:25.28]-lt's beautiful. -Thank you. -好漂亮 -謝謝 [20:26.76]-You have to be in the picture. -That's okay. 你得跟我們一起拍照 [20:29.48]Come on. 來吧 [20:33.04]Got the camera. 把照相機(jī)給我 [20:36.12]-All right, everyone say ''bride.'' -Bride! -好了，大家說“新娘” -新娘 [20:45.28]-When are you getting married? -What's the dress like? 你什么時(shí)候結(jié)婚? [20:46.28]Where's the reception? 夏綠蒂終于釋懷了 [20:49.16]FinaIIy, CharIotte's inner judge was siIenced by some very Ioud bacheIorettes. [20:50.72]那些呱呱叫的女孩安慰了她 [20:55.04]Sorry, l guess he's not here tonight. 抱歉，今晚他沒有來 [20:58.28]Well, you can't cry over spilt pot. 你們可以把大麻分給我們 [21:02.60]-l can buy you a drink. -l said l was buying her a drink, dude. -我能請你喝一杯 -我說過要請她喝酒 [21:05.12]-You have a girlfriend. -Gentlemen, please. -你有女朋友了 -拜托 [21:09.92]That's the secret of the skinny jeans. 那是緊身牛仔褲的功勞 屁股跟腦袋一樣重要 [21:12.44]It's not so much a state of behind as a state of mind. [21:15.52]What do l gotta do to get a beer around here? [21:17.20]Hey, what's up! I'm La La, and now... [21:18.96]you've seen him naked on a biIIboard right here in Times Square. 你們看過他在廣告上一絲不掛 [21:22.64]And now he's on TRL wearing cIothes. Damn, but it's stiII aII good. 現(xiàn)在他穿著衣服 上“現(xiàn)場點(diǎn)歌”，該死 [21:27.00]He is the absoIute hottest, the absoIute awesome... 但他是最帥最性感的 [21:30.80]the AbsoIut Hunk! Give it up for Smith Jerrod! 絕對猛男，歡迎史密斯杰洛德 [21:36.80]Man, we have a Iot of fans in the house. Let's get right to some questions. 很多影迷來到現(xiàn)場 現(xiàn)在開始發(fā)問吧 [21:41.04]-Hi, I'm Amber. -Hey, what's up, Amber? -你好，我是安柏 -你好嗎?安柏 [21:44.92]Nice, relaxed, sexy, and modest. 溫柔，輕松，性感，有禮貌 [21:46.68]One.: What is it Iike to be the AbsoIut Hunk? 能當(dāng)上絕對猛男 你有什么感覺? [21:50.28]I have to say it's been a reaI trip. I've met some reaIIy awesome peopIe. 我得說這趟旅行真的很棒 我認(rèn)識(shí)了一些很棒的人 [21:57.12]-You're hot enough to be on TV. -Take that to the dartboard. -你在電視上一定也很性感 -你去死吧 [21:59.52]And two.: Do you have a girIfriend? [22:02.92]-你有女朋友嗎? -不，我還在找我的夢中情人 [22:04.00]No, I'm stiII Iooking. [22:04.60]For reaI? You're not dating anyone? -你沒有跟任何人約會(huì)嗎? -我正在跟某人約會(huì) [22:09.40]I am dating, but I'm not seeing anyone speciaI. [22:10.36]但她不是我的意中人 [22:14.84]And even though Samantha had designed it herseIf... 雖然這是莎曼珊的公關(guān)策略 [22:17.32]she reaIized ''no one speciaI'' was another IabeI she didn't care for. 聽到他那么說 她還是若有所失 [22:22.08]l changed my mind. 我改變心意了，吻我 [22:25.08]Kiss me. [22:27.04]And to prove that Smith was no one speciaI to her... 為了證明她不愛史密斯 她吻了一個(gè)混蛋 [22:29.24]she kissed someone even Iess speciaI. [22:32.56]UnfortunateIy, he was someone speciaI to a somewhat drunk person. 不幸地某個(gè)喝醉的女人 覺得他是天上掉下來的禮物 [22:36.20]What the fuck do you think you're doing? -你在做什么? -發(fā)生了什么事? [22:39.12]-What happened? -She kissed Frankie. -她吻了法蘭基 -你以為你是什么東西? [22:40.80]Who the fuck do you think you are? [22:42.68]Fucking city girls, you think you're such hot shit... 你以為你可以亂吻 別人的男朋友嗎? [22:46.56]that you can go around kissing other girls' boyfriends? [22:48.52]-l'm gonna kick your ass. -l'm gonna slap the shit out of you. -我要痛扁你 -我要打得你滿地找牙 [22:53.72]-Oh, my God! -Relax. -我的天啊 -別激動(dòng) [22:55.52]You fucking relax. 你才別激動(dòng) [23:02.24]lf l ever fucking see you again... 如果再讓我看到你 [23:03.56]l'm gonna put my shoes so far up your ass, you're gonna taste leather! 我會(huì)狠狠地踹你一腳 讓你受點(diǎn)教訓(xùn) [23:09.60]Okay, l get it. Angry women can be scary. 我懂了 抓狂的女人真的很可怕 [23:14.76]Very few women can pull off anger in a tube top. 很少穿無肩帶上衣的女人 會(huì)這般生氣 [23:19.76]This night is turning into a total bust. -今晚真的是太悲慘了 -才怪 [23:21.52]Not total.... [23:25.40]Oh, my God, l love you! Where did you get that? 天啊，我愛你 你從哪里弄來的? [23:30.28]Apparently, $20 will buy you three drinks... 很明顯地20塊能買三杯酒 [23:34.56]-a channel change and a joint. -All right. -轉(zhuǎn)臺(tái)的權(quán)利和一根大麻 -太棒了 [23:44.100]Fucking men. 男人去死吧 [23:51.48]Men are bullshit. 男人都是混蛋 [23:54.52]That's what l'm talking about. 一點(diǎn)都沒錯(cuò) [23:57.20]Being someone's girlfriend.... 當(dāng)某人的女朋友 [24:04.88]-No good can come of it. -That's what l'm saying. -根本一點(diǎn)都不好玩 -一點(diǎn)都沒錯(cuò) [24:11.52]Wow! [24:12.92]This is strong weed. 這根大麻真烈 [24:20.100]lt's Smith. 是史密斯打來的 [24:25.84]-Hello. -Hi. Did you see me? -你看到我上節(jié)目了嗎? -當(dāng)然 [24:27.04]-Yes, we saw it. -How'd I do? -我表現(xiàn)得如何? -太完美了，跟計(jì)劃中一樣 [24:29.56]Perfect, just like we planned. [24:29.80]-We're aII going to the.... -Can you hear me? 你聽到了嗎?這里收訊不好 讓我… [24:33.60]-HeIIo? -l'm not getting any reception here. [24:36.68]Let me.... -喂 -你還在嗎? [24:38.96]Are you there? 我思索著 我的感情世界簡直是一團(tuán)糟 [24:40.36]As I contempIated the fact... [24:40.76]that my reIationship had gone to pot, IiteraIIy... [24:44.52]I reaIized no high or Iow wouId make this day... 我明白不論做什么 [24:48.88]any day other than the day I got broken up with by a Post-it. 都無法抹殺掉今天 我收到便利貼分手字條的事實(shí) [24:56.08]Police. Stay right where you are. 警察，不要?jiǎng)? [24:60.84]That's the way it goes. We have to take her downtown. 我們得帶她回局里 [25:04.40]Officer, please. l am a lawyer and a mother. 警官 我是個(gè)律師，也是個(gè)母親 [25:07.88]This woman is my friend. She's an extremely law-abiding citizen. -我朋友是守法的市民 -她剛剛犯了法 [25:10.40]Who just broke the law. 對，但她會(huì)那么做 因?yàn)榻裉焖娴暮軅? [25:12.16]Yes, but in her defense, she has had a very bad day. [25:15.72]-Her boyfriend just broke up with her. -On a Post-it. -她男朋友跟她分手 -他用便利貼寫分手字條 [25:18.44]Come on, that didn't happen. 少來了，你們騙人 [25:26.92]''l'm sorry. l can't. Don't hate me.'' “抱歉，我辦不到，別恨我” [25:31.44]Wow, brutal. 太殘忍了 [25:32.64]Tell you what, l'll write you up for smoking in a bar. 我要開張 在酒吧抽大麻的罰單給你 [25:37.52]Come on, can't you just let her off? 別這樣，你不能放了她嗎? [25:38.80]l'm sorry. l can't. Don't hate me. 抱歉，我辦不到，別恨我 [25:45.96]Hear that? lt's midnight. 你們聽到了嗎?已經(jīng)午夜了 [25:48.28]The official end to what will now be known as... 我因?yàn)閬硪还鼙淮兜娜兆? [25:52.20]the day l got arrested for smoking a doobie. 正式結(jié)束了 [25:59.48]l said doobie. This is great! 我說了“來一管” 真的太酷了 [26:04.56]You didn't get arrested. 你沒有被逮捕 [26:05.16]See, your Post-it was your get-out-of-jail-free card. 你的便利貼讓你免于牢獄之災(zāi) 如果你沒有認(rèn)識(shí)柏格… [26:10.04]lf you never met Berger, you wouldn't-- [26:11.80]Stop, you're killing my buzz. -別說了，你快把我搞瘋了 -我開始同意夏綠蒂的說法 [26:13.52]l have to say, l'm starting to agree with Charlotte's way of thinking. [26:17.56]lf l hadn't accidentally gotten pregnant by Steve... 要不是我意外懷孕 我不會(huì)生下布萊迪 [26:19.44]l never would have had Brady. [26:23.16]l'm not finished. And had no time to eat. 我還沒有說完 我就不會(huì)沒空吃東西 [26:27.64]So l never would have fit into my skinny jeans... 很可能還是穿不下緊身牛仔褲 永遠(yuǎn)不知道帥哥那么多 [26:29.04]and realize this city is full of cute men. [26:33.52]Now that's my kind of thinking. 我也那么認(rèn)為 [26:34.36]Don't bogart the split. 凱莉，別糟蹋雪糕 [26:39.16]Okay, l know what l learned from my Berger relationship. 我知道我從柏格這件事里 學(xué)會(huì)了什么 [26:49.88]Wait a minute, l just had it. 等一下，我真的想到了 [26:55.36]What? -什么? -你們知道嗎? [26:54.96]You know what, l changed my mind. -我改變了心意 -凡事不是天注定? [26:58.92]You don't think everything happens for a reason? [27:01.60]No, not about that. About the wedding. l really want you guys to be my bridesmaids. 關(guān)于婚禮的事 我希望你們當(dāng)我的伴娘 [27:09.16]You don't have to wear the matching dresses, l promise. 我發(fā)誓不逼你們穿花邊禮服 [27:11.36]-l'll eat to that. -Can l get that in writing? -萬歲 -你能白紙黑字寫下來嗎? [27:15.00]l think l've had enough. My jeans just popped. 我想我吃太多了 我的牛仔褲都爆開來了 [27:25.44]I might never find a Iesson in why Berger and I spIit... 我可能永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)知道 為什么柏格要跟我分手 [27:29.92]but at Ieast, for the moment, there was a banana spIit. 但至少現(xiàn)在我能大吃香蕉船

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