欲望都市第五季 十萬火急 Critical Condition

[00:00.00] 12.08.02 08:45:32 [00:02.00]聽美劇學(xué)英語(MP3+LRC) [00:11.64]欲望城市 [00:36.00](性愛專家凱莉布雷蕭 并且勇于發(fā)問) [00:44.64]“十萬火急” [00:50.72]In the Iife of a New Yorker... 紐約客的每一天 必須面對許多令人不快的事 [00:51.80]there are severaI unpIeasant things one wiII inevitabIy have to face.: [00:56.08]having your purse stoIen, random pubIic urination... 皮包被偷 不小心看到別人隨地大小便 [01:02.76]and seeing a gay friend's boyfriend in a Broadway revue. 在百老匯歌舞劇中 看到男同性戀友人的男朋友 [01:09.84]l think l understand the three-drink minimum now. -我知道最低消費額是三杯 -你不喜歡這出戲嗎? [01:11.92]You're not enjoying the revue? [01:13.40]Frankly, l'm more concerned about my own review in the Times. 我比較擔心我的紐約時報書評 [01:16.16]Oh, my God, right, your book's reviewed this week. 你的書這星期要做書評 你一定很興奮 [01:20.28]-You must be so excited. -More like terrified. 應(yīng)該說害怕才對 [01:24.36]Michiko Kakutani. 蜜奇可卡庫塔妮 她是紐約時報的書評 [01:27.12]She's the Times' book critic. 我還以為那是開胃菜的名稱 [01:27.80]l thought you were suggesting an appetizer. [01:30.72]-She's brilliant, and she's really tough. -And impossible to pronounce. -她既聰明又難纏 -連名字都很難念 [01:35.64]l think they're bringing us home. 我想我們可以回家了 [01:38.96]How could you not love this? Look at my boyfriend. 你怎么會不喜歡這出戲? 我男朋友帥呆了 [01:41.84]He's gorgeous. [01:43.12]And he can kick. 他踢腿的動作很漂亮 [01:49.28]Bravo! 太棒了 [01:55.56]Thank you. My boys Marcus Adante.... [01:58.52]lsn't he great? He's great, don't you think? 他真的很棒吧? [02:00.04]-l have to go to the ladies' room. -Now? They're gonna do an encore. 我要上洗手間 [02:02.88]他們要做安可表演了 [02:04.08]l have to go to the ladies' room. 我非去不可 [02:08.40]Broadway's best.: Debbie Cass. 百老匯最棒的演員是黛比凱絲 [02:11.56]Who would have thought the phrase, ''Go see your cousin Debbie's club act''... 誰想得到這句廣告詞 “到俱樂部看黛比表妹表演” [02:14.12]could contain such horror? 那么地令人害怕呢? [02:16.12]l thought there'd be at least one straight guy here. 我還以為可以遇見異性戀男人 [02:19.52]l mean, if not in the audience, then at least behind the bar. 就算在觀眾席里找不到 在酒吧里應(yīng)該也有吧 [02:26.28]Hold on, 'cause tomorrow... 等一下，明天我們 [02:29.64]we're gonna cruise the cute pretzel guys at the Village Square Market. 要到廣場村 找那些賣咸味脆餅的大帥哥 [02:32.12]ls that as sad as that just sounded? 聽起來很可悲吧? [02:34.100]lf it makes you feel any better, l had a thing for the Amish guys... 我以前很喜歡 制做梳子的阿曼派人 [02:39.48]who make hairbrushes. [02:42.56]沒錯 [02:44.24]Hi, you're Carrie Bradshaw. -你是凱莉布雷蕭 -沒錯，我們認識嗎? [02:47.96]Yeah, have we met? [02:49.84]l recognized you from your column. -我看過你的專欄 -太棒了 [02:53.92]And l went out with Aidan right after you. 你跟艾登分手后 我跟他開始交往 [03:01.28]There I was, worried about the New York Times... 我擔心“紐約時報”的書評 [03:04.12]when apparentIy I'd aIready been reviewed. 但事實上大家已經(jīng)批評過我了 [03:07.52]l'm telling you, it was a hit-and-run. No, it was a face-and-run. 我承認那是打帶跑 不，應(yīng)該說見了面就跑 [03:11.48]Make it again. 再說一次 [03:14.60]Yeah, that ain't good. -那真的是不太妙 -你太敏感了 [03:14.88]l think you're being oversensitive, and it was a facial spasm or something. [03:16.08]那是臉部抽筋，很多人都有過 就跟顏面神經(jīng)痳痹一樣 [03:18.52]A lot of people have them, like Bell's palsy. [03:22.00]No, it was not Bell's palsy. 那不是顏面神經(jīng)痳痹 她用她的表情表達對我的不屑 [03:25.04]lt was a full-frontal attack of the face like: [03:27.32]''Wow, was he messed up. You really screwed him up good.'' 就像是“他真的很慘 你把他害得慘兮兮的” [03:33.64]What did you say to her? 你跟她說了什么? [03:33.08]l didn't have time to say anything. She just ran out of the bathroom. 我一句話都沒說，她轉(zhuǎn)身就走 [03:37.84]Fuck that fucking face girl. -該死的抽筋女郎 -你什么時候會那樣子… [03:40.52]-Well, when you put it like that.... -l'm sorry. [03:42.48]l haven't slept for days. Brady's been crying non-stop. 我好幾天沒睡 布萊迪一直哭個不停 [03:44.100]-You poor thing. Can l do anything? -Put me out of my misery. -好可憐，我?guī)偷蒙厦? -救我離開痛苦的深淵吧 [03:50.68]What's wrong with him? ls he sick? 他病了嗎? [03:50.64]No, he's not sick. 他沒病，也不餓 他還沒有長牙，只是想哭 [03:52.36]He's not hungry, he's not teething, he just wants to scream. [03:56.60]l'm doing everything l can, but l can't please him. 我哄不了他，如果他是 35歲的男人，我們已經(jīng)分手了 [03:60.72]lf he was 35, this is when we would break up. [04:02.28]-He has issues, clearly. -l'm telling you... 他一定有什么話想說 [04:05.60]this 13-pound meatloaf is pushing me over the edge. 這個十三磅重的烤肉餅 快把我逼瘋了，我覺得好惡心 [04:08.48]l feel disgusting. All of my clothes smell like barf. 我的衣服 聞起來跟嘔吐物差不多 [04:10.24]l don't have time to shower, much less get a haircut. 我沒時間洗澡 更別提剪頭發(fā)了 [04:12.20]That reminds me, l have to confirm my appointment... 那倒是提醒了我，我該確認 約翰曼帝發(fā)廊的預(yù)約時間 [04:16.12]with John Mandy at the John Mandy Salon. [04:20.80]You have no idea how hard it was to get this appointment. 你們不知道 要跟他們約時間有多難 [04:24.24]Hi, it's Samantha Jones. 我是莎曼珊瓊斯 我想確認星期六的預(yù)約時間 [04:26.52]l'm calling to confirm my appointment Saturday... [04:28.32]for a cut-and-color with John. 我要請約翰幫我剪發(fā)跟染發(fā) 謝謝 [04:31.52]Thanks. [04:31.92]Crisis averted. 危機解除 [04:37.16]Magda is waiting for me. Time to go back to prison. 梅格在等我，我該回監(jiān)獄去了 [04:39.08]-Let me come with you. l can help. -You don't have to do that. -我跟你一起走，我可以幫你 -你不必那么做 [04:42.64]No, it's okay. Actually, l have a few questions... 我有一些問題 星期一我要見我的離婚律師 [04:45.72]because l'm meeting with the divorce lawyer on Monday. [04:46.84]Ask him if l could get an injunction to stop a face. 問他我可不可以申請禁制令 [04:50.48]-Who did you get? -Matthew Bloom of Bloom & Goldenblatt. 你找哪位律師? [04:52.20]布葛律師事務(wù)所的馬修布魯明 [04:54.36]-What's he like? -He's smart, he's tough. -他是什么樣的人? -他既聰明又難纏 [04:58.44]But is he tough enough to beat Bunny to a pulp? 他難纏到可以痛扁邦妮嗎? [05:03.84]-Yeah. -Good. -沒問題 -太棒了 [05:05.00]Okay, great. Bye, guys. Have a nice day. 好了，大家再見 祝你們有愉快的一天 [05:09.48]Miranda, call me if you need anything. 米蘭達，需要幫忙的話 打電話給我 [05:12.96]Damn! Why is that girl still bothering me? 該死，為什么那個女孩 還深深地困擾著我? [05:16.56]Honey, you have to let it go. 忘了她吧，如果我擔心 每個臭女人對我的評語 [05:16.96]lf l worried what every bitch in New York said about me... [05:21.80]l'd never leave the house. 我永遠都沒辦法出門 [05:24.80]EarIy Monday morning, CharIotte met with her Iawyer. 星期一早上 夏綠蒂跟她的律師見面 [05:27.40]He was smart, tough, and gorgeous. 他既聰明又難纏，而且還很帥 [05:28.88]You said you had some bad feelings about your mother-in-law, Bunny MacDougal. 你說你對你婆婆 邦妮麥克道格很感冒 [05:33.72]Did l? 我說過嗎? [05:37.20]l get a sense from her lawyer this is going to be a bit of a battle. 跟她的律師接觸過后 我覺得這會是一場硬仗 [05:40.28]It was a battIe, aII right. The battIe of the CharIottes. 這的確是一場硬仗 夏綠蒂的內(nèi)心在交戰(zhàn) [05:44.76]The CharIotte who wanted to seem attractive to her adorabIe Iawyer... 想要吸引英俊律師的夏綠蒂 [05:48.24]and the CharIotte who wanted to kick Bunny MacDougaI's ass. 跟想要痛扁 邦妮麥克道格的夏綠蒂在交戰(zhàn) [05:49.56]lt looks to me that Mrs. MacDougal has been very busy hiding assets... 麥克道格太太 一直在隱藏她的財產(chǎn) [05:55.52]to make sure you don't get anything. 以確保你什么東西都拿不到 [05:59.60]l just really want what was promised. l want my apartment. 我真的只想拿我該拿的東西 我只要我的公寓 [06:04.16]Technically, it's not your apartment. Trey's family owns it. 技術(shù)上來說，它不是你的 崔的家族擁有它 [06:08.76]She was very careful to ensure your name was not on the deed. 她很小心地確保 房契上沒有你的名字 [06:11.12]What? Trey gave me that apartment. 崔給了我那間公寓 抱歉，通常我都是很優(yōu)雅的 [06:12.92]Sorry. Usually, l'm a very refined person. [06:17.80]With your husband out of the country, l'm gonna need you to be more specific. 因為你丈夫不在國內(nèi) 你應(yīng)該更詳細地說出你的需求 [06:20.76]CharIotte reaIized she couId never be as ugIy as she needed to be... 夏綠蒂了解她永遠 不可能擺出惡婆娘的樣子 [06:25.36]in front of a man she considered so handsome. 特別是在大帥哥面前 [06:28.32]Sorry to bust in. There's a bagel here with my name on it. 抱歉打擾你們了 這個貝果應(yīng)該是我的 [06:31.32]My partner, Harry Goldenblatt. 哈利葛登布拉特，夏綠蒂約克 我負責她的離婚案 [06:31.88]Harry, Charlotte York. l'm handling her divorce. [06:36.68]How you doing? You're in the right hands here. 你好嗎?你真的是找對人了 [06:39.12]He's a killer. 他是個殺手 [06:44.84]Who the hell ordered blueberry bagels? 誰訂了藍莓口味的? 我該跟希爾瑪談?wù)劥耸? [06:47.60]l'm talking to Thelma about this. Good luck to you. [06:47.12]祝你好運 [06:54.08]ls he a killer, too? 他也是個殺手嗎? [06:54.04]And just Iike that, CharIotte changed Iawyers. 于是夏綠蒂換了律師 [07:02.48]After a grueIing day, which incIuded Ieg, eyebrow, and bikini waxes... 在累了一天 除了腳毛、眉毛跟恥毛后 [07:07.20]Samantha decided to reward herseIf with a night of R and R. 莎曼珊決定好好睡一覺 獎賞自己一下 [07:17.52]UnfortunateIy, her favorite vibrator needed a IittIe CPR. 不幸的是她最喜歡的按摩棒 需要急救一下 [07:37.60]Brady, please. What? 布萊迪，求求你，什么? 我不知道你在想什么 [07:41.20]l cannot read your mind. [07:53.80]-Who is it? -4-D. -誰? -我是四樓的住戶 [07:56.40]-lt's 2:30 in the morning. -l know. 現(xiàn)在是凌晨兩點半 [08:01.88]-l'm sorry. -You gotta stop that baby from crying. -我知道，對不起 -你該哄寶寶別哭了 [08:03.12]l said l was sorry, but l have a baby... 我說過對不起了，我家有寶寶 有時候?qū)殞殨摁[不停 [08:07.04]and sometimes babies make noise. That's what they do. [08:09.28]l know that. l have a baby, too. 我知道，我家也有寶寶 [08:11.68]And if you ever bothered to say hello in the elevator, you'd know that. 如果你愿意跟我打交道 你應(yīng)該很清楚這一點 [08:15.28]l'm Kendall, my baby is Alika. Have a nice night. 我是卡妲兒，我女兒叫艾麗卡 祝你有愉快的一晚 [08:21.96]EvidentIy, Miranda had been getting bad reviews from inside her own buiIding. 很明顯地 米蘭達的鄰居對她很不爽 [08:26.60]As for my review, I guess I was pretty nervous. 至于我的書評，我覺得很緊張 [08:27.00]-Times. -Thank you. -紐約時報 -謝謝你 [08:30.00]I hadn't been up this earIy since Princess Diana's wedding. 自從黛安娜王妃的婚禮后 我沒有這么早起床過 [08:36.16]Good morning. 早安 [08:41.12]''All in all, l enjoyed spending time... “總而言之我喜歡布雷蕭小姐 尖銳有趣的精致世界” [08:45.52]''in Ms. Bradshaw's sharp, funny, finely-drawn world... [08:47.20]''where single women rule, and the men are disposable.'' “在這個世界里女人主宰一切 男人跟垃圾一樣”，天啊 [08:52.36]Ouch! 我相信 紐約時報對你是佳評如潮 [08:54.52]l believe what you have there is a rave review from the New York Times. [09:01.32]''The men are disposable''? “男人是垃圾”? 我沒有把男人當垃圾吧? [09:02.20]-l don't dispose of men, do l? -No. [09:05.24]Michiko Kakutani thinks so, and l always agree with her. -沒有 -蜜奇可卡庫塔妮是那么想的 [09:09.16]Fuck Michiko Kakutani. -我一直都贊同她的想法 -去她的 [09:11.72]-No sleep again? -Actually, it was a good night. -你又沒睡了? -昨晚我睡得很好 [09:16.24]l got a whole hour. 我睡了整整一小時 [09:17.92]l can't believe l have to go and pretend to be a lawyer now. 我不敢相信 現(xiàn)在我必須假裝自己是個律師 [09:22.04]-Can l wear a baseball cap to work? -With what shoes? -我能戴棒球帽去上班嗎? -你要配哪雙鞋子? [09:26.56]My God, listen to me going on and on about Michiko Kakutani... 我會反駁蜜奇可卡庫塔妮 [09:29.72]when you have reaI probIems. 如果你真的想告她 [09:32.52]So can l obsess for another minute? 我能再跟你談?wù)剢? [09:33.48]Just don't say her name again. 別說出她的名字 那會把我逼瘋 [09:34.16]lt'll push me over the edge. [09:37.28]So, yes, some of the men in the book are maybe a little disposable... 書里有些男人或許是垃圾 [09:42.04]but this makes it sound like l think men are disposable in life. 但她的說法讓大家以為 我把我生命里所有男人當垃圾 [09:47.32]What? What's with the pause? -什么?你怎么不說話? -抱歉，我剛剛睡著了 [09:49.68]l'm sorry. l fell asleep for a second. [09:51.20]That's a terrible thing to think about me. 這件事光想起來就覺得很可怕 [09:54.88]Oh, my God, that's what the face meant. 所以她才會擺出那種表情 [09:60.04]Do you think that Aidan thinks that l think he was disposable? 你認為艾登覺得 我把他當垃圾看待嗎? [10:01.12]Carrie, you did not throw Aidan away. 你沒有拋棄艾登 [10:06.72]Good morning. 早安 [10:07.28]That girI thinks I did. He must have said something Iike that to her. 那個女孩認為我拋棄了艾登 他一定跟她說了什么 [10:09.80]Where eIse wouId she get it? 不然她怎么會那么想呢? [10:14.08]Steve and Aidan are close. Has Steve ever said anything to you? 史蒂夫跟艾登走得很近 他說過什么嗎?他恨我嗎? [10:17.24]-Does Steve hate me now? -Carrie, you're spinning. 你在亂想，他不恨你 [10:19.12]-Steve doesn't hate you. -Then how come l never see him anymore? 為什么我從來沒見過他? [10:23.72]You never see him because l have to keep him away. 因為我不想讓他接近我 [10:27.00]Because if l see him now, l'll ask him to marry me... 我一見到他就想請他娶我 要他來幫我忙 [10:29.44]just to give me some help. [10:30.88]l worked very hard at taking care of Aidan's feelings. 我很在乎艾登的感覺 你一定要告訴史蒂夫 [10:34.32]Will you mention that to Steve? [10:35.12]-Because if Aidan toId Steve-- -Carrie, you know what? -如果艾登跟史蒂夫說… -你知道嗎? [10:40.52]Maybe you shouId caII your girIfriend Samantha. 或許你該打電話給莎曼珊 [10:41.40]She has all kinds of time to talk about this kind of stuff. 她有的是時間跟你談這種事 [10:45.76]l know it's me... 我知道這是我的問題 我很嫉妒她有那么多閑工夫 [10:49.36]and l'm jealous of her free time and all... [10:49.44]but if she could maybe just once acknowledge the fact that l've had a baby.... 真希望她能夠了解我有孩子 [11:03.96]lt's not enough l've alienated my neighbor. 我跟鄰居疏遠還不夠 [11:05.64]Now I'm aIienating my friends. -現(xiàn)在我跟朋友也很疏遠 -你沒有跟任何人疏遠 [11:07.64]You're not alienating anyone. [11:08.32]Tell that to 4-D. She's pissed off l don't know her name. 去跟四樓說吧，她真的很生氣 我不知道她叫什么名字 [11:10.64]-Do you know your neighbors' names? -Please. -你認識你的鄰居嗎? -拜托 [11:14.20]l'm a bad neighbor and a bad mother. -我是個惡鄰居跟壞媽媽 -才不是，你做得很好 [11:17.56]-That's not true. You're doing great. -Yeah, right. [11:19.44]-是 -你只是這星期過得不順 [11:21.44]You're just having a bad week. [11:24.12]Can l do anything to help? -有什么需要我?guī)兔Φ膯? -你的關(guān)心就幫了我很大的忙 [11:25.72]That helps, just asking. [11:30.68]l'm late. l gotta go. 我要遲到了，我要掛電話了 關(guān)于書評的事恭喜你了 [11:31.60]CongratuIations on the review. [11:33.88]謝謝 [11:41.12]Why is it that we onIy seem to beIieve the negative things peopIe say about us... 為什么我們只相信 別人對我們說的那些壞話? [11:48.20]no matter how much evidence there is to the contrary? 不論有多少的證據(jù) 證明他們的話是錯的 [11:51.48]A neighbor, a face, an ex-boyfriend... 不論是鄰居、路人或是前男友 [11:54.48]can canceI out everything we thought was once true. 都能抹殺掉我們相信的一切 [11:56.52]Odd, but when it comes to Iife and Iove... 說到生活跟愛，為什么 我們都相信最糟糕的那一面? [11:59.80]why do we beIieve our worst reviews? [12:08.40]After a Iong day in court, Miranda faced another jury. 在法院度過漫長的一天后 米蘭達還要面對另一個陪審團 [12:16.12]Don't cry. 別哭 [12:41.96]And at City Bakery, Samantha and I were reviewing the desserts. 在城市面包坊 莎曼珊跟我在評論甜點 [12:44.76]Delish. 好好吃…如果你愿意幫我忙 我請你吃甜點 [12:46.44]l'll buy you dessert if you do something for me. [12:49.52]-l'm not eating desserts this week. -Come on, best brownies in New York. -我這星期不吃甜點 -全紐約最棒的布朗尼蛋糕 [12:54.28]Bastard. 混蛋 [12:56.16]l'll take a brownie. 我要一塊布朗尼蛋糕 [12:57.88]-What do you need me to do? -lt's about Miranda and the baby. -你要什么? -我想談米蘭達跟寶寶的事 [13:02.36]-Forget the brownie. -No, she'll take the brownie. -我不要布朗尼蛋糕 -不，她會要的 [13:04.12]Babies are not my scene. 我對寶寶的事不拿手 [13:07.84]And from what l've heard, this one sounds like an asshole. 這個寶寶似乎是個混蛋 [13:10.72]-You can't call a baby an asshole. -Why not? She called it a meatloaf. -你不能罵寶寶是混蛋 -她叫他烤肉餅 [13:16.80]l don't think it would kill all of us to be a little more supportive. 我想支持一下米蘭達 要不了我們的命 [13:20.56]All right. 好吧，他念大學(xué)時 我會帶他出去喝一杯 [13:21.24]When he's in college, l'll take him for a drink and flirt with his friends. How's that? [13:22.20]跟他的朋友們打情罵俏 [13:26.20]Maybe you could just stop by tomorrow and say: 你明天該過去跟她問候 “聽說你生孩子，還好吧?” [13:28.68]''l hear you had a baby. How's that going?'' [13:31.60]l have no time. l'm booked all day. 我沒時間 我整天的行程排得滿滿的 [13:35.36]l have my hair appointment, and l'm returning a vibrator before that. 我跟發(fā)型設(shè)計師約好了 還要去退還按摩棒 [13:38.32]Hair and a vibrator? 弄頭發(fā)跟按摩棒 [13:38.100]Yes, that is my life, and l don't have to justify it. 對，那就是我的生活 我不必為此辯解 [13:44.08]l hate it when people have babies... 我討厭人一旦有孩子 [13:45.80]and they suddenly expect you turn into a Norman Rockwell painting. 就期待你變得 跟諾曼羅克韋爾畫中人物一樣 [13:50.96]We're not talking about people, we're talking about our friend. 米蘭達不是別人 [13:52.96]And she's sinking. 她是我們的朋友，她快瘋了 [13:55.52]What, so, Miranda's like Venice? 米蘭達喜歡威尼斯? [13:59.52]That'll be $1 4.20. 一共是十四塊兩角 [14:01.56]She's paying for the brownie. 布朗尼蛋糕算她的 [14:04.56]凱莉 [14:06.96]你也來了，茱麗雅 [14:10.92]Julia, hi. [14:12.44]This is my friend Samantha. This is Julia Afton. 這位是莎曼珊，茱麗雅亞佛頓 我們是時尚雜志的同事 [14:15.80]We work together at Vogue. [14:17.68]Hardly. She gets to run in and out once a month... 她一個月只進辦公室一次 我要跟安娜溫托周旋到底 [14:18.52]while l'm chained to the hem of Anna Wintour. [14:21.36]-There's my friend. Nina. -l'm here. -我的朋友妮娜來了 -我在這里 [14:26.04]-lt is about time. -Sorry l'm late. -你也該到了 -抱歉我遲到了 [14:30.00]Carrie, hi. 凱莉，你好 [14:34.72]There I was, face to face with the face girI. 我又跟那個給我臉色看的女人 面對面 [14:37.00]-How do you two know each other? -l'll tell you over lunch. -你們怎么會認識? -吃完午餐后我再告訴你 [14:39.64]Nina Katz, hi. Samantha Jones. -妮娜凱茲，莎曼珊瓊斯 -很高興能再見到你 [14:41.04]Hi, nice to see you again. [14:46.36]-Can we eat? l'm starvation central. -Okey-dokey. See you. 我們可以吃飯了嗎? 我快餓死了 [14:50.92]Bye, Carrie. -再見 -再見，凱莉 [14:52.60]How do you know Nina Katz? -你怎么會認識妮娜凱茲? -你怎么認識他? [14:52.88]How do you know Nina Katz? [14:56.08]Everybody knows Nina Katz. She's the booker for Saturday Night Live. 大家都認識她，她是 “周末夜現(xiàn)場”的節(jié)目制作 [14:58.24]-She's also the face girl. -No! -就是她給我臉色看 -不，妮娜凱茲是… [15:02.60]Nina Katz is the.... [15:04.60]Exactly. 沒錯，太棒了 她會告訴全時尚雜志的人 [15:06.32]-Great. That face will be all over Vogue. -Not to mention SNL. [15:09.28]更別提“周末夜現(xiàn)場” 妮娜凱茲是個大嘴巴 [15:10.88]Nina Katz loves to talk. [15:11.56]$15.30. -一共是十五塊三角 -我也要吃塊布朗尼蛋糕 [15:14.08]l'm going to need a big brownie as well. [15:18.84]The next day, Samantha did some personaI shopping. 隔天莎曼珊自己一個人去血拼 [15:24.20]Very personaI. 一件很私人的東西 [15:27.08]-Can l help you? -Yes, l'd like to return this vibrator. -有什么需要我效勞的嗎? -是的，這個按摩棒要退貨 [15:33.16]We don't sell vibrators. -我們不賣按摩棒 -六個月前我在這里買了它 [15:33.56]Yes, you do. l bought it here six months ago. [15:36.80]That's not a vibrator. lt's a neck massager. 那不是按摩棒 那是電動頸部按摩器 [15:40.48]No, it's a vibrator. 不，它是按摩棒 [15:40.68]Sharper lmage doesn't sell vibrators. lt's a neck massager. 銳影電器不賣按摩棒 那是電動頸部按摩器 [15:46.84]You expect me to believe that women buy these to help their sore necks? 女人買這玩意治療頸部酸痛? [15:50.96]-lt's a neck massager. -Fine. 那是電動頸部按摩器 [15:54.52]-l'd like to return this neck massager. -What's wrong with it? 好吧 我要退還這個電動頸部按摩器 [15:55.100]lt failed to get me off. -它出了什么問題? -它沒辦法讓我達到高潮 [15:59.88]lt has a warranty, and it just stopped. Made the saddest little sound. 它有保證期限，卻動都不動 只會發(fā)出可悲的哀叫聲 [16:03.64]-Perhaps you wore it out. -Honey, it wouldn't be the first one. -或許你把它累壞了 -它不是第一個 [16:07.12]Fine. Just find another, and go to the cashier. 好吧，你再拿一個 直接到柜臺結(jié)帳就行了 [16:15.40]l know a man who's in desperate need of a neck massage. 我知道有個男人 很需要幫脖子按摩一下 [16:23.24]You don't want that one. Too many bells and whistles. 千萬別買那個 它滴滴答答地吵死人了 [16:29.92]That one actually works against you. 那個按摩棒不合用 [16:29.72]lf we wanted to work that hard, we'd get us a man. Am l right? 如果我們真的想達到高潮 還是要靠男人才行 [16:35.68]Samantha instantIy estabIished herseIf... 莎曼珊馬上讓自己成為 按摩棒界的蜜奇可卡庫塔妮 [16:37.24]as the Michiko Kakutani of vibrators. [16:40.64]-l think that one actually is a back massager. -Not if you mount it. 事實上那是電動背部按摩棒 [16:42.44]你可以坐在它上面試試看 [16:47.40]No, absolutely not. That will burn your clit off. 當然不行，那會燙傷你的私處 [16:50.28]-Even with underwear? -Even with ski pants. -穿著內(nèi)褲時也會嗎? -穿滑雪褲也一樣 [17:12.36]l brought you something. 我拿了樣?xùn)|西給你 [17:15.92]lt belongs to Alika. An oscillating chair. 這是艾麗卡的搖椅 [17:21.88]lt helps. -它真的很好用 -請進 [17:23.56]Come on in. [17:30.36]Hey, there, Mr. Mouth. 你好，愛哭鬼寶寶 [17:33.12]What have you got to say that is so important? 你為什么哭過不停? [17:36.28]l'm sorry. lt's just been non-stop. 抱歉，他沒有停過 [17:39.60]Now, this chair... 有人不建議用這種搖椅 [17:41.64]is a little controversial... [17:44.64]but l don't give a shit. 我才不在乎 只要讓寶寶不再哭就好了 [17:46.24]'Cause it stopped my baby from crying... [17:48.80]when l was about ready to throw myself off the fire escape. 我正打算跳防火梯自殺 [17:53.48]Sounds good. 聽起來挺不錯的 [18:00.04]Oh, my God! 天啊，這張椅子是天才 [18:02.44]The chair is genius. [18:04.04]Something about the vibration.... l don't know. 我不知道，應(yīng)該是震動的關(guān)系 寶寶喜歡那種感覺 [18:08.80]They love it. Alika could sit in it for hours. 艾麗卡一坐就是好幾個小時 [18:13.88]How come you haven't heard about this? Don't your girlfriends have babies? 你怎么沒聽過這種椅子? [18:16.16]-你的女性朋友都沒有寶寶? -沒錯，我是唯一的媽媽 [18:19.08]-No, l'm the only one. -Then you're screwed. [18:20.72]-那你死定了 -她們幫了我很多忙 [18:22.24]Actually, they've been very helpful. [18:25.92]lf they don't have kids, they don't have a clue. 如果她們沒有孩子 就不知道該怎么幫你 [18:32.80]Miranda, you're not a bad mother. 米蘭達，你不是個壞媽媽 你只是沒有買搖椅 [18:35.84]You just didn't have the chair. [18:40.24]Thank you... 謝謝你 [18:42.12]Kendall. 卡妲兒 [18:49.68]Three bIissfuI baby hours Iater. 寶寶安靜了三小時后… [18:54.72]-Samantha, what're you doing here? -l'm not Samantha, you are. -莎曼珊，你來這里做什么? -我不是莎曼珊，你才是 [18:57.84]You have a 5:30 appointment with John Mandy at the John Mandy Salon. 五點半你該到約翰曼帝發(fā)廊去 快出發(fā)吧 [19:01.60]-Go. -What? 什么?我不能占走你的… [19:04.36]l can't take your-- 我數(shù)到五，然后我會改變心意 [19:04.08]l'm counting to five, then l'm changing my mind. [19:07.56]Really? You want to baby-sit? -你要幫我看寶寶? -五，四… [19:08.72]-Five, four-- -Okay. [19:11.92]我不知道該說什么 我不敢相信 [19:15.92]l don't know what to say. l can't believe it. [19:17.48]Neither can l, but here l am, Mary fucking Poppins. 我也不敢相信，但我來了 我會是個好保姆 [19:21.56]Thank you. 謝謝你 [19:26.28]The numbers are on the fridge, and don't take him out of that chair. 電話號碼在冰箱上 別抱他離開那張椅子 [19:27.24]lt's the only thing that keeps him quiet. 只有它能讓他安靜下來 [19:31.12]And don't call boys. 別打電話約男人過來 [19:44.84]You don't look so bad. 你看起來還不算太糟 [19:54.60]MeanwhiIe, in a chair across town... 同時在紐約的另外一邊 [19:57.16]I was enjoying an afternoon of absoIuteIy nothing. 我享受著什么都不必做的午后 [20:08.12](節(jié)目制作妮娜凱茲) [20:17.04]Do you think Nina Katz is telling random celebrity hosts... 你覺得妮娜會告訴 參加節(jié)目的來賓 [20:22.12]-that l'm the bad-breakup girlfriend? -What? 我是傷透 她男友心的前女友嗎? [20:25.68]You said she Ioved to taIk. Do you think she's trashing me to, say... -什么? -你說過她是個大嘴巴 [20:30.00]a Gwyneth Paltrow or an lan McKellen? 你覺得她會跟葛妮斯派特洛 或伊恩麥克連說我的壞話嗎? [20:33.68]You can't be serious. 你不會是認真的吧? [20:33.04]Don't get me wrong. I don't fIatter myseIf... 我不是吹噓葛妮斯派特洛 或伊恩麥克連 [20:35.44]that a Gwyneth Paltrow or an lan McKellen would be interested in my love life. [20:37.84]會對我的愛情生活有興趣 但是…你在動物園里嗎? [20:40.08]Are you at a zoo? 不，但這都得謝謝你 我在米蘭達家 [20:42.68]No, thanks to you, l am at Miranda's... [20:45.76]and Brady won't stop screaming, and l don't know what to do. 布萊迪一直哭個不停 我不知道該怎么辦 [20:49.64]-You're at Miranda's? -l sent her to get my haircut. -你在米蘭達家? -我讓她代替我去剪頭發(fā) [20:50.96]-That was nice. -Yes, and now l'm being punished. -那真的是太棒了 -沒錯，現(xiàn)在我被懲罰了 [20:54.100]-So he's not hurt? -No. -他受傷了嗎? -不 [20:57.12]-Or wet? -No. -尿布濕了? -不 [20:60.12]Then l don't know what his problem is. -我不知道他有什么問題 -他是個混蛋 [21:02.80]His problem is he's an asshole. [21:05.48]-Maybe you should call Miranda. -l will not. -或許你該打電話給米蘭達 -我不會那么做 [21:07.96]lt took me months to get that appointment. Someone should benefit. 我努力了幾個月才約到設(shè)計師 一定要有人因此受惠 [21:12.20]l'll find some way to keep this kid quiet. Goodbye. 我會想辦法讓這個小鬼安靜 再見了 [21:13.12]No, wait, what about Nina? -妮娜呢? -或許夏綠蒂有時間跟你談 [21:15.00]Maybe Charlotte has the time to talk about this kind of stuff. [21:19.48]l have a screaming baby on my hands. 我必須對付一個愛哭的小鬼 [21:26.40]What? What do you need? 什么?你需要什么? [21:32.48]Well, that's better. 那樣好多了 [21:37.36]-ls everything okay? -Absolutely. The chair thing broke. -一切都沒事吧? -當然 [21:41.04]-But, you know, shit happens. -The chair broke? -搖椅壞了，但發(fā)生了奇跡 -搖椅壞了? [21:42.40]But what did you.... l mean, did he.... 但你怎么…我是說他… [21:52.24]That better be brand-new. 那最好是全新的 [21:56.28]Monday morning, Harry GoIdenbIatt did his best... 星期一早上 哈利葛登布拉特使出全身解數(shù) [21:58.92]to make sure Bunny didn't hop aII over CharIotte. 確定邦妮不會吃掉夏綠蒂 [22:02.32]Mrs. MacDougal is willing to offer... 麥克道格太太 愿意提供她兒子的收集品 [22:03.08]her son's collection of mint-condition silver Buffalo coins. 包括他收集的錢幣跟水牛銀幣 [22:09.56]Could we get off the coin collection? She's not going to settle for that. 她不想接受那些錢幣收集品 [22:12.96]According to the pre-nup.... 根據(jù)婚前… [22:13.36]This is ridiculous. Trey gave me that apartment. 這太可笑了 崔給了我那間公寓 [22:17.12]She gave him her word. Till death do them part. 她答應(yīng)要嫁給他 至死才會跟他分離 [22:23.56]Bunny, if you have something to say to me-- -如果你有話要說… -沒錯 [22:25.40]-Fine. l shall. -l strongly recommend-- [22:26.84]Allan, hush. -我強烈建議… -亞倫，閉嘴 [22:30.96]You, my dear, took a vow. 你發(fā)過誓，但一切不如你意時 你違背了自己的誓言 [22:33.76]And when things didn't go your way, you simply broke that vow. [22:34.44]l come from a generation of women that valued marriage. 我這一代的婦女非常重視婚姻 [22:37.72]We believed in ''for better or for worse.'' 我們相信不論發(fā)生什么事 [22:40.08]Not ''for better, or until the road gets rocky.'' 我們會跟丈夫白首偕老 至死不渝 [22:46.56]When l think of the heartache and shame... 當我想到你讓我兒子 感到心痛丟臉 [22:48.12]you caused my dear boy... [22:53.84]l'm amazed that you could even come here and look me in the face. 我很訝異你竟然敢看著我 [22:54.92]CharIotte couIdn't fight any more. 夏綠蒂無法再堅持下去 [22:56.56]It seemed to her she'd been fighting for this marriage forever. 看來她永遠無法擺脫這段婚姻 [23:03.36]Be advised, young lady, l'm more than prepared to go to court. 我必須警告你，小姑娘 我打算告上法庭 [23:10.40]lt's the coin collection. Take it or leave it. 你只能拿到錢幣 要不要隨便你 [23:14.56]Just hold on. 我們辦公室剛收到麥克道格 從蘇格蘭拍來的電報 [23:14.80]Apparently, our office received a telegram from Scotland from Dr. MacDougal. [23:18.28]-Shall l read it? -By all means. -要我念給大家聽嗎? -當然 [23:23.92]''Charlotte York was a wonderful wife. Stop. 夏綠蒂約克是個好太太，句點 [23:26.64]''She did nothing wrong. Stop. 她沒有做錯事，句點 [23:27.40]''Give her everything she wants. Stop. 她要什么都給她，句點 [23:32.40]''Seriously, Mother. Stop.'' 我是認真的，媽媽，句點 [23:37.24]That's the thing about reviews. 那是最出人意表的事 [23:39.24]Sometimes, when you Ieast expect it, you get a rave. 在你最意想不到的時候 給你一個大驚喜 [23:47.00]Just the apartment. -她只能拿走公寓 -我會把文件準備好 [23:47.56]l'll have papers drawn up, so Mrs. MacDougal can transfer the deed. 讓麥克道格太太辦過戶 [23:52.08]Even though things had gotten ugIy... 即使情勢惡劣 [23:53.24]CharIotte didn't want them to end that way. 夏綠蒂仍奮戰(zhàn)到最后一秒 [23:56.44]l'm sorry things didn't work out better for all of us. 我很抱歉情況不如預(yù)期 [24:02.00]亞倫 [24:04.88]CharIotte reaIized there was no such thing as a fairy-taIe divorce either. 夏綠蒂知道 離婚不可能以喜劇收場 [24:09.84]''Ding dong, the witch is dead.'' 太棒了，那個老巫婆輸了 [24:17.92]And farther uptown, stiII unabIe to Iet it go... 在上城區(qū)，我還是無法忘懷 [24:20.76]Nina Katz and that face had driven me to face my worst fear. 妮娜凱茲跟她的神情逼我面對 內(nèi)心最深沉的恐懼 [24:27.32]So, Steve, l know l was kind of vague on the phone-- 我知道在電話里我說的很曖昧 [24:28.16]lt's Miranda, right? She doesn't want me to call her so much. lt's fine. 是米蘭達吧?她不希望 我打電話給她，沒關(guān)系 [24:33.72]No, it's not about Miranda. lt's about.... 這件事跟米蘭達無關(guān) [24:38.00]-How does Aidan feel about me? -Jeez, no. 艾登對我有什么感覺? [24:42.88]You're not going to try to get back together with him again, are you? 你該不會想跟他復(fù)合吧? [24:44.24]No, but that pretty much answers any question l had about how you feel. 不，但那回答了我的問題 [24:50.40]So, what, does he hate me? -他恨我嗎? -不，但你的確傷他很深 [24:53.16]No, but come on, Carrie, it was pretty bad. [24:56.04]How bad? 有多深?史蒂夫 [24:59.32]-Steve, the ball. -Sorry. -史蒂夫，別玩球 -抱歉 [25:02.24]How is he now? -他現(xiàn)在好嗎? -他很好 [25:03.44]-Great. He's great. -Good. [25:05.04]-很好 -他現(xiàn)在很好 [25:09.68]Now. [25:12.36]But back then, he couldn't get out of bed for like.... 但那個時候他沒辦法起床 大概有… [25:15.56]-What? Days, weeks? -Like, a month. 幾天或幾星期嗎? [25:19.80]-l brought him chicken wings. -Oh, Christ. 一個月 我會買雞翅送去給他吃 [25:22.20]l don't mean to make you feel bad. -天啊 -我無意讓你難過 [25:24.72]-一個月 -對，他真的是一團糟 [25:26.08]A month? [25:28.00]Yeah, he was devastated. [25:27.100]He lost his ability to open up and trust women. 他沒辦法打開心胸相信女人 [25:35.24]''He lost his ability to open up and trust women''? 他沒辦法打開心胸相信女人 他那樣跟你說? [25:39.80]Did he tell you that? [25:39.92]No, guys don't talk about shit like that. We just ate wings. 男人不會談那種事 我們一起吃雞翅 [25:42.16]But the girl, Nina, he was dating, she told me that. 是跟他約會的妮娜告訴我的 [25:47.76]Okay, we're looking for the cute pretzel guys. 我們要找賣咸味脆餅的大帥哥 [25:49.56]How come you never wanted to cruise guys when l was available? 你不必在我單身時四處找男人 [25:52.56]This isn't about cruising, it's about clarity. 我必須把事情說清楚 妮娜凱茲做得太過分了 [25:55.12]That face chick is hitting a little too close to home. [25:56.52]l want to find her and tell her my side of the breakup story. 我要告訴她我為什么要分手 [25:60.36]-Why? You know what you and Aidan had. -l know it, but she doesn't. -你知道你跟艾登擁有過什么 -沒錯，但她不知道 [26:04.68]And she's yip-yapping her version all over town. 她到處告訴別人她的說法 [26:05.04]lt only takes one bad review to cancel out all the good word-of-mouth. 好事不出門，壞事傳千里 [26:11.44]-What do you think of Marcus? -Nice. -你對馬可斯有什么看法? -他不錯 [26:13.40]l mean, relationships are complicated. You can't reduce them to a face. 愛情關(guān)系很復(fù)雜 一個眼神無法說明一切 [26:15.28]-l know that Aidan has feelings-- -Okay, stop. -我知道艾登他有感覺… -好吧，別說了 [26:20.16]l am done. 我受夠了 [26:22.08]l've listened to you talk about Aidan, for what... 我聽你談艾登談了十條街 兩年來你一直在提他 [26:25.52]ten blocks, and two years? [26:28.80]And l've been a wonderful audience. 我一直是個好聽眾 [26:30.68]And l ask you about my Marcus, and all l get is ''nice''? 我問你對馬可斯有什么感覺 你只說“他不錯” [26:37.68]l'm sorry. 對不起 [26:38.16]How many relationships have l been in since you've known me? 你認識我后 我交過幾個男朋友? [26:43.32]Real or imaginary? 真的還是想像的? [26:45.92]Come on, your opinion means a lot to me. 我非常重視你的意見 你是我的良師益友 [26:48.92]You're my Machiko Kakamatsa. [26:51.16]So, now what, you want me to review your relationship? 你要我評論你的愛情世界? [26:53.76]-lmmediately, if not sooner. -Okay, well... -請說吧 -我喜歡他讓你覺得快樂 [26:56.52]l like that he makes you happy. [26:58.64]我的天啊 [27:02.44]凱莉 [27:05.92]Okay, one more time, and you are officially stalking me. 你又在敷衍我 [27:08.08]-Hi, l'm Heather. -Heather Graham. l know. l love you. 你好，我是海瑟 [27:09.08]海瑟洛葛拉漢，我知道 我愛你，我是史丹佛巴勒奇 [27:12.28]l'm Stanford Blatch. [27:14.52]-Sorry. Heather, this is Carrie Bradshaw. -Carrie Bradshaw, really? -海瑟，這位是凱莉布雷蕭 -她是凱莉布雷蕭，真的嗎? [27:22.80]好吧，妮娜 [27:24.08]l need to talk to you for a second, alone, if l can. 如果有空的話 我想跟你單獨談一談 [27:30.36]Miss Graham, may l buy you a pretzel? 洛葛拉漢小姐 我請你吃咸味脆餅 [27:31.52]-Okay. -Get me one. 沒問題 [27:34.32]-A man or a pretzel? -Whatever has less carbs. -幫我買一個 -你要男人還是咸味脆餅? [27:35.32]Right. -碳水化合物少的那一個 -好吧 [27:40.76]l get the sense that you have a sort of feeling... 我了解你對艾登發(fā)生過的事 [27:45.64]about what happened with Aidan, and l just want to clear something up. 覺得很憤怒 [27:48.32]我想澄清一下 [27:51.60]Breakups are awful, and they are private. 分手是件很難受的事 它們是一種隱私 [27:54.28]And they are not necessarily symptomatic... 它們不代表雙方的性格 [27:57.28]of what two people had together. [27:60.48]l loved Aidan very much. 我曾經(jīng)非常愛艾登 [28:02.44]And l would never, ever have done anything to deliberately hurt him. 我不會做出 任何故意傷害他的事 [28:07.100]Okay. 好吧 [28:10.08]SuddenIy, I reaIized the critic I was most afraid of wasn't Nina Katz. 突然我了解到我最害怕的 并非妮娜凱茲的批評 [28:13.76]It was me. 而是我對自己的責難 [28:15.88]那么… [28:18.88]Bye. 再見了 [28:23.04]The truth is, at any given moment... 真相是不論在什么時候 [28:23.92]someone, somewhere couId be making a face about you. 在某個地方會有某個人 擺臉色給你看 [28:30.96]But it's the reviews you give yourseIf that matter. 重要的是你對自己的看法 [28:32.56]...with Heather Graham and l'm like, ''What do we have to talk about?'' 我跟海瑟在一起時心想 “我們該說什么?” [28:38.92]-Being pretty. -l know. 她很漂亮 [28:39.32]But we had nothing to talk about but pretzels. 但除了咸味脆餅外 我們無話可談，于是我說… [28:43.00]So l said.... [28:46.00]Come on. 抱歉，快來 [28:45.60]l said, ''Have you ever been to Bavaria? They make the best pretzels there.'' 我說“你去過巴伐利亞嗎? 那里的咸味脆餅最好吃了”

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